"I seek like minded individuals"

[Bandit58]

Tainted B: I have a profile on collarme, mainly trying to meet other fem subs or even a Domme for play times, I've also posted on the forums a few times. I did get quite a few messages at first before my profile was approved but they've slowed down now, most of them were from nice people though I did get pestered a bit by a Dom with a foot fetish Until I told him I was collared and he backed off.....

I mainly use it to message friends like SweetDommes, FungiUg and landcruisergal whose profiles I've stumbled across on there. My name on collarme is different from the one I use here which has confused some people I've also met some nice subs from other countries that I've exchanged messages with.

The reason I have in my profile that I am collared is so hopefully Doms will read it and quietly move on without wasting my time or theirs.

 

[SweetDommes]

I mainly use it to message friends like SweetDommes, FungiUg and landcruisergal whose profiles I've stumbled across on there. My name on collarme is different from the one I use here which has confused some people I've also met some nice subs from other countries that I've exchanged messages with.

And I freely admit that I am one of them that was totally confused LOL

It has been nice to chat with someone on there though ... most of my mail there is still "looking for a mistress, i will do anything" in various versions and mis-spellings ... or random one-liners that don't make any sense whatsoever. The last week or so we have been getting lots of comments about the pics of our critters, but that's a new development LOL

 

[DVS]

Tainted B: I have a profile on collarme...
I mainly use it to message friends like SweetDommes, FungiUg and landcruisergal whose profiles I've stumbled across on there...

So, are you a message therapist?

OK, so it's corny. But, I live in the mid-west. We have LOTS of corn. It grows better than grass in some areas.

 

[cellis]

Well things have dwindled down now at alt.com and I am only getting a message or two a week now. Plenty of people put me on their hot lists but no one much writes.

I did meet someone who seems interesting and has possibilities. We met and he called me the next day and almost eveyday since.

 

[SweetDommes]

Well things have dwindled down now at alt.com and I am only getting a message or two a week now. Plenty of people put me on their hot lists but no one much writes.

I did meet someone who seems interesting and has possibilities. We met and he called me the next day and almost eveyday since.

Yay for you. I hope it continues to go well for you.

 

[TaintedB]

Tainted B: I have a profile on collarme, mainly trying to meet other fem subs or even a Domme for play times, I've also posted on the forums a few times. I did get quite a few messages at first before my profile was approved but they've slowed down now, most of them were from nice people though I did get pestered a bit by a Dom with a foot fetish Until I told him I was collared and he backed off.....

A dom with a foot fetish, poor you. I think the best way to get the least hits on at collarme is to have no pic and maybe even no description in your profile. But I guess if you are also using it to look for a bi lady, that could be anti-productive. About your bi search: there seem to be a lot of women in bdsm looking for a second woman for their masters or husbands. I saw a huge number of them when I wa cruising the ladies on collarme. Thing is, single women are in high demand on online personal-ad sites (it wasn't that way with offline venues, like newspapers--the ratio was more 50-50 there), so they can pick and choose. While a few are interested in couples, most seem to want a man or a woman of their own rather than share that person with someone already there.

The relative rarity of women is one of the things that really sucks about online personals as a venue for finding a submissive, I think, as all the male attention seems to go to women's heads and turn them into little princesses. Combine that with the fact that a lot of the responses they get (or responses to their "no thanks") are, if not vicious and abusive, so stupid (most don't bother to read the ads), and I guess I can understand why an attractive woman's ad is so often full of stern, angry "I won't do this! I am not that! I will not go there's!" rather than a positive description of who they are and what they want. I still think that keeping your self-description positive (saying what you want rather than what you won't tolerate) is far more likely to get you decent responses to an ad than the imperious "I know I'm the shitz and you will obey my every rule or I won't talk to you" sort of ad. While I understand the defensiveness and hurt that often inspires such an ad, it makes a submissive sound completely unlike a submissive. Also, that sort of negativity can inspire anger or scarasm in the readers and draw even more negative responses. Anyway, I just hate all the men-desperately-competing-for-a-woman's-hand-and-the-women-laughing-at-their-desperateness stuff that seems to go on on collarme and places like it.

I was shocked to read that Marquis got only one female reply to his profile on collarme. He is a very good-looking guy and he had a sexy text ad, too. Things are pretty bad if women aren't even bothering to read the male dom ads and writing the guys that seem to be compatible with them. Wrong attitude entirely. As I see things, the submissive should be the supplicant, begging or at least politely requesting the dominant's attention, not the other way around. :/

Back to you, Bandit. Sorry, I do go on, don't I?

Have you noticed any difference between women who advertise themselves as bi and those who advertise as bi-curious? I see both terms used and sometimes people who say they are one also say in the same breath that they are _not_ the other. FWIW, from my mini-study the other day I saw that the bi-curious women on collarme seemed more likely to be single than the bi ones.

 

[SweetDommes]

My favorite today was one that came from the same guy who has messaged us now from 5, yes 5, different screen names on collarme. It was quite clearly a form letter, no personalization at all, and I'm pretty sure that it's word for word what he sent a month ago from his last profile.

My reply was: "You have now messaged us from multiple accounts. We weren't compatable the first or second time you messaged us, what makes you think that has changed. You also might want to consider not sending out form letters - try reading profiles and putting some thought into your messages, it makes a much better impression."

His reply (before he blocked me):
U think this is a form let
That is probly what you do, send out form lettrs
Yuo stupid moron

*giggles herself into a snicker-fit* I just had to share.

 

[TaintedB]

LOL, the good old "that's what you are, what am I?" Such a sign of maturity when you get one of those. Especially when the come from dominants, lol, but from others too.

 

[SweetDommes]

I know, it's sad. Honestly, the first time he messaged us, I finally had to block the account because his messages were all like his 'pissy reply' only worse - totally unreadable. I asked him to use Word or some other program that would spell check at least, and he wouldn't - claimed that he couldn't or he'd get banned from collarme and have to change profiles because it would catch him for spamming or some such nonsense. Since I have our profile saved on my computer (since I am constantly updating it plus I have a habit of taking it down for awhile, then putting it back up), and I have been known to copy/paste it to people when the profile is awaiting approval, I know that his excuse is total bullshit.

Anyway, I just thought that y'all would enjoy that as much as I did. I just think it's hysterical that he already blocked me LOL

 

[Her sissy slave]

online

okay.... do those words ring annoying to the rest of you, I'm tired of these vague descriptions.

"I'm looking for someone with similar interests outside of sex".... and then they list only their sexual dislikes.... makes sense right?

"I'm seeking like minded individuals" .... and then they just say someone who wants to submit, but not how or under what premises or what it means to them to be a dominant or anything, how can you be like minded if you don't have any opinions?

Also... "Hi, I'm interested in getting to know you".... and then they just talk about themselves for a couple of paragraphs and don't offer you any direct questions as to what they'd like to know about you.

Sigh.... I'm begining to think online dating attracts morons only.

i guess maybe "i" am one of the morons. i try to list what i am doing/like/hate so the person can judge if we are similiar.
is there a patent text to doing it?
thanks

 

[SweetDommes]

I believe that you missed the point.

If someone says that they want someone who shares interests outside of the sexual, then they need to have something besides just sexual interests/disinterests - and few do.

If someone says that they seek "like-minded individuals" then we need to have some insight into their mind so that we can judge if we are like-minded or not ... most who say that (that I have seen) have very brief profiles that don't give much info at all.

And if someone says that they want to know about someone else, it's a good idea to ask some questions to get things started, rather than rambling on and on about yourself.

Most of these things are (or should be) common sense - if you want to know about someone ... what is it that you want to know about them? Asking is the only way to find out. If you want someone to share your interests, you need to let others know what they are (and if you specify that you want someone to share non-sexual and non-D/s interests, then you had better not just list sexual and D/s interests). If you want someone to be of a similar (or compatable is a better word) mindset, then you need to let others know what that mindset is.

 

[graceanne]

I believe that you missed the point.

If someone says that they want someone who shares interests outside of the sexual, then they need to have something besides just sexual interests/disinterests - and few do.

If someone says that they seek "like-minded individuals" then we need to have some insight into their mind so that we can judge if we are like-minded or not ... most who say that (that I have seen) have very brief profiles that don't give much info at all.

And if someone says that they want to know about someone else, it's a good idea to ask some questions to get things started, rather than rambling on and on about yourself.

Most of these things are (or should be) common sense - if you want to know about someone ... what is it that you want to know about them? Asking is the only way to find out. If you want someone to share your interests, you need to let others know what they are (and if you specify that you want someone to share non-sexual and non-D/s interests, then you had better not just list sexual and D/s interests). If you want someone to be of a similar (or compatable is a better word) mindset, then you need to let others know what that mindset is.

Well, that's awefully close minded of you. *shakes head* Imagine! Expecting someone to be interested in someone other than themselves. The nerve!

 

[sincerely_helene]

My alt profile admittedly is very vague. I list some of my interests outside of the bedroom, but I don't bother with the kink stuff. That aspect seems irrelevant to me if we do not fit on a emotional/mental level, and I feel weird revealing my sexual interests to some horny stranger browsing my profile. I also find it helps cut out the riff-raff responses that way.

The reason I don't list many details about myself is that in the past I have found that if someone is a little too eager to hook up, they will act the persona they feel will impress me instead of just being themselves. I would rather just decide for myself on getting to know the person, and seeing the way they really are, if we are compatable.

I don't think there is any right or wrong way to fill out a profile. We are all searching for different things. The husband/wife couples looking for a threesome will likely be more sexually open in their description, and those seeking beyond that have every right to steer away from that topic or any other too personal to them until they are comfortable.

 

[Bandit58]

Well, I've finally managed to meet someone off AdultMatchmaker! Master and I met her this afternoon for coffee (a 2 hour meeting!) and she's very easy to talk to and we got on well. Have exchanged emails about a playtime this week or next weekend, and she has offered to take me to the Hellfire Club here in Sydney this coming Friday night She is into kinky play too and though she hasn't done a lot she has been to clubs and munches and a friend's dungeon (I am so envious). She hasn't worked out where she is on the BDSM spectrum, though she sounds most likely a switch.

Whew.....I am so nervous and excited

 

[SweetDommes]

Well, I've finally managed to meet someone off AdultMatchmaker! Master and I met her this afternoon for coffee (a 2 hour meeting!) and she's very easy to talk to and we got on well. Have exchanged emails about a playtime this week or next weekend, and she has offered to take me to the Hellfire Club here in Sydney this coming Friday night She is into kinky play too and though she hasn't done a lot she has been to clubs and munches and a friend's dungeon (I am so envious). She hasn't worked out where she is on the BDSM spectrum, though she sounds most likely a switch.

Whew.....I am so nervous and excited

woohoo! sounds like fun ... we want the details later

 

[Bandit58]

woohoo! sounds like fun ... we want the details later

Just been chatting to her and organising what to wear on Friday night, and we've organised that she will come to our place on Wednesday afternoon for some fun with me......can't believe it's finally happening after 6 months of looking

 

[Bandit58]

Well she arrived as promised and we had a wonderful time She is lovely both in her body and her mind, we seem to have clicked straight away and it seems like we will be good friends as well as lovers. She only lives about 20 minutes drive away too which is a bonus

Mind you it's taken over 6 months for anything positive to happen from that site I had also arranged to meet another woman yesterday afternoon for coffee but she was a no show. Mind you it's very hard to spot a person when you haven't seen a pic of them and have only a vague description of what they'll be wearing

 

[SweetDommes]

Well she arrived as promised and we had a wonderful time She is lovely both in her body and her mind, we seem to have clicked straight away and it seems like we will be good friends as well as lovers. She only lives about 20 minutes drive away too which is a bonus

Mind you it's taken over 6 months for anything positive to happen from that site I had also arranged to meet another woman yesterday afternoon for coffee but she was a no show. Mind you it's very hard to spot a person when you haven't seen a pic of them and have only a vague description of what they'll be wearing

glad you have fun

and it is difficult to find someone when you don't know what they look like - which is why, when we are preparing for a first meeting, we exchange pics (and hope that the pic is really of them).

 

[SweetDommes]

I got a real winner tonight - totally clueless (actually, more likely totally desparate, but whatever).

Our profile has said "We're taking a break from looking" for at least a month now ... followed by a journal entry stating "yes, the profile is current, no, we have not started looking and forgotten to update the profile."

I have gotten more than one message anyway, but it's really slowed down ...

tonight however, I got one with the guy's stats (as if we care), and stating that he hopes that he can get to know us and serve us.

My reply was "what part of 'we're taking a break from looking' made you think we would be interested in having you serve us?"

His reply was something along the lines of "I saw your profile and hoped"

So I replied again - "No, I was seriously asking that question - if "we are taking a break from looking" isn't clear enough, then I need to make it clearer. You obviously didn't get the message, so what do you think I can do to make it more clear?"

He actually did reply again - "no, it was clear, i'm sorry for disturbing you"

Can anyone else see the desparation oozing off of his words?

 

[Etoile]

Can anyone else see the desparation oozing off of his words?

So that's what I smelled!

 

[graceanne]

I got a real winner tonight - totally clueless (actually, more likely totally desparate, but whatever).

Our profile has said "We're taking a break from looking" for at least a month now ... followed by a journal entry stating "yes, the profile is current, no, we have not started looking and forgotten to update the profile."

I have gotten more than one message anyway, but it's really slowed down ...

tonight however, I got one with the guy's stats (as if we care), and stating that he hopes that he can get to know us and serve us.

My reply was "what part of 'we're taking a break from looking' made you think we would be interested in having you serve us?"

His reply was something along the lines of "I saw your profile and hoped"

So I replied again - "No, I was seriously asking that question - if "we are taking a break from looking" isn't clear enough, then I need to make it clearer. You obviously didn't get the message, so what do you think I can do to make it more clear?"

He actually did reply again - "no, it was clear, i'm sorry for disturbing you"

Can anyone else see the desparation oozing off of his words?

I feel sorry for him. You're right you can see the desperation, he must be so lonely.

 

[shy slave]

My alt profile admittedly is very vague. I list some of my interests outside of the bedroom, but I don't bother with the kink stuff. That aspect seems irrelevant to me if we do not fit on a emotional/mental level, and I feel weird revealing my sexual interests to some horny stranger browsing my profile. I also find it helps cut out the riff-raff responses that way.

The reason I don't list many details about myself is that in the past I have found that if someone is a little too eager to hook up, they will act the persona they feel will impress me instead of just being themselves. I would rather just decide for myself on getting to know the person, and seeing the way they really are, if we are compatable.

I don't think there is any right or wrong way to fill out a profile. We are all searching for different things. The husband/wife couples looking for a threesome will likely be more sexually open in their description, and those seeking beyond that have every right to steer away from that topic or any other too personal to them until they are comfortable.

I agree with you about the need for a bond on an emotional/mental level and I find it strange that complete strangers would know my sexual kinks before they knew my real name.

One of the things that I liked about Andante when we first spoke was he never mentioned sex throughout the whole conversation.
Of course that made me curious and I just had to bring the subject up and ask him why he had not mentioned it

Talk about wanting everything lol

 

[graceanne]

Sometimes, if I'm bored and no one's online I'll go to chat rooms. You know how they ask asl? I think that they should just be honest and switch it to aslm (age, sex, location, and measurements). On the other hand, then I know for sure what they're PMing me about and can block them without guilt.

 

[Etoile]

Sometimes, if I'm bored and no one's online I'll go to chat rooms. You know how they ask asl? I think that they should just be honest and switch it to aslm (age, sex, location, and measurements). On the other hand, then I know for sure what they're PMing me about and can block them without guilt.

I like answering that by mentioning that I'm an interpreter.

 

[TaintedB]

I like answering that by mentioning that I'm an interpreter.

That was bad, bad, bad. :/ :/ :/