I'll call you tomorrow...

[Liar]

QUESTION: What's the best way to tell a man you know that you don't want to know him well enough to exchange phone numbers?

I don't have a phone.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I don't have a phone.

Wow. That's so simple it's scary.

 

[CharleyH]

Apparently I'm one of those rare men who does exactly what he says he's going to do.

So why are you rare? I must be an even more rare chick then or than .....?

I think men are easy. Much, MUCH more sluttish than women, certainly ... just my take. Shrugs.

 

[shereads]

It means the first evening when there isn’t an important sporting event on TV, no friend is having a stag, a group from work doesn’t stop by a bar on their way home and he loses an evening, it will be tomorrow, and he might call

The problem is, women learn from experience that when a man wants to seduce you he will allow nothing to dissuade him. A man on the hunt knows that his male friends will wait, his mom will still take his phone calls if he ignores her for a while, and the Superbowl won't relieve that painful erection.

Nothing is more flattering than being targeted by an alluringly predatory male, no matter the outcome. By the same token, few things are more humiliating than thinking he's hot on your trail and finding out you were wrong. If the woman in Dr. M's example really is devastated, it's not because he didn't call precisely when he said he would; it's because calling her isn't the priority it would be if he was as interested in her as she is in him.

In the future, mood rings will be incredibly sophisticated and smart men and women will require their dates to wear one. There will be no mis-read body language, no false expectations, and no need to say when or whether you'll go out again. Couples will know everything they need to know at the end of Date One by the readout on the mood ring.

Gray will mean he spent the evening wondering if he missed anything good on TV.

Beige will mean he or she won't refuse sex if it's offered, provided it's not inconvenient.

Red will mean you rate the necessary time and attention to get you in the sack, convenient or not.

Extreme desire - DEFCON 5 - will require an audible alarm because neither of you will be able to see straight.

 

[shereads]

I don't have a phone.

This begs an explanation. Otherwise, he might think it's a good excuse to stop by with a gift.

 

[elsol]

It's funny you confessed that, because I almost included a similar confession in my previous comment, but then deleted it because I thought it made me look like a horrible person.

On more than one occasion, I'm guilty of tweeking just one digit of my actual phone number so that if I ever run into the person again, I can ask why they never called. They will say something like "well, I tried, but kept getting a message saying out of service," and I will respond with "what number did you dial?" Once they see it was just one digit off, they assume they must have miswrote it.

Then, for the next 3-4 weeks I screen my calls causing them to think I'm never home and finally give up.

Anyway, the trick is to arrange it so that they are the one writing down the number. I know it's a all big fat lie, but some lies are ok if it spares another persons feelings.

Oh, and if I'm caught in a situation where I have no choice but to write the number myself, I "accidently" make the fours look like nines.

You know you're just creating assholes by doing this right?

Just like guys who say 'I'll call you tommorrow" and don't call are making it tougher on the next poor guy who likes that particular woman.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[CharleyH]

By the same token, few things are more humiliating than thinking he's hot on your trail and finding out you were wrong. If the woman in Dr. M's example really is devastated, it's not because he didn't call precisely when he said he would; it's because calling her isn't the priority it would be if he was as interested in her as she is in him.

GOD I WANT TO MARRY YOU!!!!

Still. I found Docs original post somewhat sexist. Yours is too, I will get to it not now, but will. I HAVE BEEN ITCHING TO SAY THIS. Thanks for the venue. Can you be humiliated by a man, or a man a woman for that matter, by a simple no call?

OK, FEW things are more humiliating people say? THAN WHAT? I can think of things, and I do not think being turned down is one or even in the top ten?

WHAT exactly is humiliating in this? It happens every day :|

 

[elsol]

Can you be humiliated by a man, or a man a woman for that matter, by a simple no call?

OK, FEW things are more humiliating people say? THAN WHAT? I can think of things, and I do not think being turned down is one or even in the top ten?

WHAT exactly is humiliating in this?

List ten things more humiliating than being interested someone and getting blown off... and I'm talking blown off in a way you KNOW you're being blown off.

Those ten things have to be at least as likely to happen in regular life as getting blown off by someone.

Having an airplane dump it's feces and land on top of you in the middle of a street is probably more humilitating but I've never seen it happen.

I believe the key will be in that it is so personally directed at YOU.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Liar]

Still. I found Docs original post somewhat sexist.

"I think men are easy." - CharleyH

 

[minsue]

"I think men are easy." - CharleyH

. .

 

[Songcatcher]

This thread is kinda out of order, really.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I was talking to a bunch of people, and one girl was just about in tears because she'd had a date the other night with a guy she really liked, and he said (& I quote): "I'll call you tomorrow."

Of course he didn't. It was the day after and she was still waiting.

It broke my heart to hear how she and her girlfriends parsed and analyzied those four words: "He definitely said 'tomorrow'," "He definitely said 'I'," "Did he say 'tomorrow night'? Or evening?" "Did he say he'd call on your cell phone? Does he have your number?" "Maybe he was in a car wreck." "Maybe he hates me," "Maybe he doesn't want to look too eager?" &c &c

Having been on the male side of the "I'll call you tomorrow" thing, I know how cavalier we men can be about such things. "I'll call you tomorrow" can mean what it says, or it can mean in a day or two, or a few days, or someday. We just don't take it as legally binding, or even literally binding. I couldn't make her believe that though. She was crushed.

I think it's one of those mars/venus things. Anyone have any opinions?

Naive

 

[sweetnpetite]

I am such a girl. If I say or hear "Call you tomorrow," I take it that there will occur a phone call the day after today.

And I'd probably turn into paranoid questionny person if that call wasn't forthcoming.

The Earl

I'll call you. Really.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I just laugh when a man says he'll call me tomorrow.
Because he won't.
It's not something most men say if they're really going to call...

That is such a terrible stereotype/generality! People are all different!!!! It's so unfair to lump all guys together like that.

 

[sweetnpetite]

Or should he have to come to a decision about seeing her again right then and there?

Yes, he should. Because i don't buy that he 'doesn't know' if he wants to see her again. If he wants to see her again, he *knows* and if he doesn't know then he doesn't really *want* to. Y'know?

Maybe they should write a book for guys called "Face it: You're Just Not That In To Her!" for guys who are confused on this point!

A guy should say, "It was nice" or "I had a nice time." or "It's been fun" They are all complete sentences. They don't require "I'll call you" at the end to be complete. Give her a hug- or shake her hand (but only if she's terrible, a hug is sufficient) Don't kiss her and don't promise to call. But don't tell her you don't like her, that's just mean.

 

[Seattle Zack]

Having an airplane dump it's feces and land on top of you in the middle of a street is probably more humilitating but I've never seen it happen.

(sic)

Considering that it's a frozen chunk of ice about the size of a Samsonite, travelling at terminal velocity after falling several thousand feet in a matter of seconds, I think you'd have a more to worry about than a little humiliation. Maybe Grissom on CSI can find all the pieces.
-----
I do tend to date younger women, but I never promise to call. I never call back the next day. Nice guys do that. Nice guys don't get laid. Three days or so, if she put out and was fun in bed. If all she did was suck up dinner and drinks, at least a week. Better yet, put her in the booty call pile and call her in a month at 4 a.m. when you're drunk.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Hey, I've had well-paid professional personel people tell me they'll call me in two days and blow me off. And on several occasions they finally did call back a week or two later full of apologies.

I know, I know. The guy they originally tapped for the job found something better so they went down to my name, but still. These are guys who are paid to do nothing but make phone calls. They're supposed to be pro's, and yet they still don't have the balls to call you up and tell you they found someone else.

Actually, I think that asking someone for their phone number is kind of rude. First you should ask them if they want to fuck, then ask them for their number.

I go to group therapy for depression. We have very high turnover. Met a guy in there who was in very bad shape--fired, divorced, kicked out of his house--and it turned out he lived like 4 blocks from me. He asked me for my number so we could maybe have coffee (read "bore you for hours with my problems and maybe embarrass you by starting to blubber on your lapel in the coffee shop; possibly call you at 4 AM with a suicide threat. Whatdya say?")

I ignored him the first time and looked at my shoes.

He asked me again, and I said, "Look, that's not a good idea." and he let it drop.

He's not in group anymore. I think he might have done it. But do I feel bad? Fuck no!

Edited to Add: I think a lot of the trouble lies in the telephone itself. Telephones suck. I hate them. Seriously. I use them as little as possible

Things would be different if we communicated by semaphore flags.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I was talking to a bunch of people, and one girl was just about in tears because she'd had a date the other night with a guy she really liked, and he said (& I quote): "I'll call you tomorrow."

Of course he didn't. It was the day after and she was still waiting.

It broke my heart to hear how she and her girlfriends parsed and analyzied those four words: "He definitely said 'tomorrow'," "He definitely said 'I'," "Did he say 'tomorrow night'? Or evening?" "Did he say he'd call on your cell phone? Does he have your number?" "Maybe he was in a car wreck." "Maybe he hates me," "Maybe he doesn't want to look too eager?" &c &c

Having been on the male side of the "I'll call you tomorrow" thing, I know how cavalier we men can be about such things. "I'll call you tomorrow" can mean what it says, or it can mean in a day or two, or a few days, or someday. We just don't take it as legally binding, or even literally binding. I couldn't make her believe that though. She was crushed.

I think it's one of those mars/venus things. Anyone have any opinions?

Why doesn't she call him?

 

[CharleyH]

"I think men are easy." - CharleyH

Well, we know you are lol,

SLUT !!!

(I will go intellectual tomorrow - I might have time)

 

[ElizabethWest]

How about "I'll send you an email and schedule a time when we can talk"

Geekily,
DrF