Ironic Demons (closed)

[HisPureLust]

Rune loved the feeling of Olivia's breasts on either side of his face. He wondered if his shave was close enough to not irritate her soft perfect skin. No sense worrying about that now. He had hurt her much more than a beard burn, and was not done by a long shot.

Reason, rationality and every other ugly thought he had lived with and in over the past several years threatened to creep into his mind and slow his passion down, but the numbness was also rising and at this point more than sufficient to swallow his doubt like a whore hungry for seed.

"Your gonna need another shower Kitten..."

He pressed her large tits together rolling them towards one another from the top... Her nipples touching. He engulfed them both in his mouth and sucked hard, making sure to lick on the inside of his mouth. When he freed them they were slick and even more swollen. He slapped Olivia's tits once and left her on the couch... Stepping off and away.

He walked between the sofa and the recliner and towards the hallway leading to the bathroom. Stopping at the counter which separated the kitchen from the living room he rifled through her dishes and cabinets for a few moments, then her drawers. Rune never had respect for the personal property of family or friends, let alone lovers. It had gotten him in plenty of trouble over the years. That sentiment went triple for Olivia. By association he had considered anything potentially embarrassing and or personal to be fair game as much as if it was his own. She was no longer his but it hadn't occurred to him as he investigated.

He smiled at a discovery and removed a cutting board with a firm handle.

Rune stepped away from the counter and stood in her apartments intersection.

Yes, numb. Numb me god dammit! I want to feel nothing. I'll deal with this later, or maybe this isn't even real, he considered.

"Crawl to me."

 

[Jenn1982]

"Your gonna need another shower Kitten..."

A shot of happiness moved through her when he called her Kitten again. She tried to push it down by telling herself he had probably called a number of women “kitten” since they’d split up. The way he was sucking on both of her nipples kept the jealousy and anger of that thought from taking over completely until it ruined the moment. She was starting to writhe beneath him as her desire for his cock inside her again grew. Her sex drive was fairly high normally but with Rune she was insatiable.

He stopped abruptly and stood up causing a frown to form on her face. She watched as he moved to her kitchen and began going through the cabinets and drawers. Had it been anyone else she would’ve lost her shit at their arrogance. Of course, had she had anything “incriminating” in them she would’ve stopped him. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for but she didn’t waste time asking, figuring he probably wouldn’t answer her.

He finally must have found what he was looking for as his lips formed a smile. He moved from behind the counter and she saw he was holding one of her wooden cutting boards. A sense of dread wormed its way through her, she hated being paddled. She didn’t mind anything else, a hand, a cat of nine tails, crop...but paddles made her very unhappy.

"Crawl to me."

It clearly wasn’t a request and despite her loathing of paddles she didn’t hesitate to comply. She moved off the couch to her hands and knees. She kept her eyes on his as she slowly crawled towards him, stopping once she was at his feet. Her eyes moved to the cutting board in his hand. She didn’t think for a second that he had forgotten how much she despised being paddled but she still attempted to dissuade him.

“I have more appropriate...toys in the bedroom…”

 

[HisPureLust]

"I have more appropriate...toys in the bedroom…”

He smiled at her, once more genuine and from the same place he would had she told him a funny joke or if she teased him in any of the ways only she could get away with.

Rune knew Olivia no doubt had had a veritable cornucopia of sex toys hidden away in her bedroom. Large black dildos, hard glass ones, a rabbit or two, several vibes, and he was certain a number of items she would much much prefer hitting her ass to this cutting board. There were two problems with those toys however... Firstly they were for her to retrieve and he didn't feel like asking, secondly they had no doubt been used... Held... Manipulated by dozens of assholes before him, and he was above them. He wouldn't be coaxed into touching something associated with her past lovers no matter what. Such was his jealousy, such was his pride and such was his resentment. In truth he had two final reasons for using the makeshift paddle as well. She would hate it and she would think of him every time she used it here after.

"By all means Hun, follow me into your bedroom, but the cutting board stays."

He watched the disappointment on her face as he turned around slowly, his grin still evident. Rune entered her bedroom and a shiver of disgust flowed through him, he felt weak... almost regrettable. He kept wondering 'how many' and had to stop short of counting years and doing math before he glanced about and suffered through the flashes of image he knew would be coming. It was only the possibility that he was exaggerating that spared his mood from crashing...HARD.

When she entered he turned towards the bed lifting the paddle towards it, pointing towards the bed.

Olivia liked pain but she still despised paddling. It was one of the few things that they didn't share a like mind on. A part of him was going to enjoy this on levels he might possibly regret later but his alcohol fueled numbness was in no danger of dissipating yet.

"Nice bedroom."

 

[Jenn1982]

He smiled down at her and for a few moments, she thought maybe he would concede. Deep down she knew this would not be the case and he soon confirmed her thoughts.

"By all means Hun, follow me into your bedroom, but the cutting board stays."

She frowned for a moment and cursed his stubbornness under her breath as dread filled her once more but she knew there was no point in arguing. He turned and started walking down the hall to her bedroom. She knew he meant for her to keep crawling and so she did. In truth, she enjoyed it, it turned her on to be made to debase herself for him. It was almost enough to distract her from what was coming...almost.

When she got into the bedroom he pointed the paddle at the bed and she crawled over to it. She was really hoping the paddling was just going to be a quick thing and that he would move onto something much more enjoyable before it got too unbearable.

She climbed up onto the bed and sat down on her knees. Despite her distress at knowing he was going to paddle her she still felt excitement course through her as she looked over at him. There had been a time when there was nothing she wouldn’t go through or do to please him. She told herself that she hadn’t regressed back to that state this quickly but she didn’t doubt it would happen soon if things continued the way they were going. She definitely did not want Rune back in that position of power. She swore to herself that once he left she would replace all the emotional barriers that had seemed to crack and break as soon as he’d touched her again.

"Nice bedroom."

“Oh, thanks. It was one of the main selling points for me when I got the place,” she said as her eyes once again focused on the cutting board.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do to change your mind about the cutting board?”

 

[HisPureLust]

"Oh, thanks. It was one of the main selling points for me when I got the place".

Rune hid his reaction with a stone expression. The idea of Olivia choosing where to live based off of how good and comfortable the sex in the bedroom would be, it ran down his spine, dissipating somewhere before reaching his gut. He instead focused on her next words...

"Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do to change your mind about the cutting board?”

He grinned, as he had many times before in Olivia's direction then leaned over and put her chin between his thumb and pointer finger. His buzz was still having him feeling pretty good, the pang of her earlier comment was barely felt.

"You know the chances of that happening Olivia... You knew my answer before I opened my mouth."

His lips close enough to hers touch... So he did, kissing her softly and tasting the lips of the most....

No. No, don't start THAT again.

Rune stood and placed a hand on her head, running his fingers through her hair. Drunk or not, there didn't seem to be a numb for some feelings. Not with him anyway. He could deny them, he could ignore them, but the fact was... She was a creature of no compare. Beautiful did not begin to encompass the perfection that was she. He wanted nothing more at that moment....

Than to ruin it.

"On all fours...and stick your ass out nice and far for Daddy."

 

[Jenn1982]

Rune’s smile still made her heart flutter, something that used to make her happy. Now it just made her feel like a romantic fool but she still couldn’t help but smile back. He leaned down and grasped her chin with his fingers.

"You know the chances of that happening Olivia... You knew my answer before I opened my mouth."

His mouth was nearly touching hers and she was only able to get out a breathy “I did” before he kissed her. She wanted to reach up and put her arms around his neck and pull him down on top of her but he pulled away after a few seconds and stood up.

His hand moved to her head and she smiled as he ran his fingers through her hair like he was petting her. He knew she loved that and even now it still made her feel content. That contentment was shattered with his next words though.

"On all fours...and stick your ass out nice and far for Daddy."

She hesitated for a few moments but finally pulled her tank top over her head and tossed it to the foot of the bed before slipping her shorts off.

She got on all fours and moved until her knees were a few inches from the edge of the bed. She tried to tell herself it wouldn’t be so bad, Rune would realize how sore her ass already was and would go easy on her.

 

[HisPureLust]

Her ass was a bright red, but she was not by any means content.

They had talked on the phone at great length of all the nasty shit they wanted to do but as he told her time and time again, talk is talk....doing is an entirely different beast.

Olivia was with someone and while neither of them cared much, she was actually loyal. Rune believed in no such concept. He was after all with someone as well, and it had never stopped him from being on the look out for this next....amusement.

Despite all that they ended up together in that motel room.

He teased her about how she'd run from him, how he'd prove too much for her, always she laughed, possibly turned on by his experience maybe intimidated by it but as he stared into her eyes...the bit of tears they held, it was clear she had not enjoyed the session of whipping and pain play. He felt so small... He felt a failure, and it was strange that anything other than his own enjoyment had mattered at all.

Rune could always count on his lack of concern to be handled one of three ways. A woman would either become more intrigued by it... Especially those with low self esteem or daddy issues, be dismissive of it due to a desperation or an adoration, or be repelled by it. In any case he had never needed to change his behavior before. The problem always resolved itself or reciprocated.

As he held Olivia and they talked about what they wanted to do next, he actually felt himself mentally checking off that she was not into extreme pain, or paddle play. Rather than teasing her or telling her she would get used to it.

He held her tight and they talked a great while before doing despicable things that she DID enjoy very much. Some she had once before done, some for the first time....

-------------------------


His old friend and flame did as commanded and he marveled at her round peach of an ass for more than a brief moment. He laid his hand between the crack and caressed the arc of her supple skin, bending his fingers into a claw as he finished... Scratching her hard.

Rune couldn't help himself, he bent over and bite her fucken ass...he did not pity her but was sure the mark would remain for quite some time... Then he slapped her bottom. A loud wet thwack resonating in the room and leaving a pink hand print.

"So you want something else huh? You reeeealy don't want me to use this huh?"

The paddled crashed down square on the crack of her ass, low but much above her thighs. It was placed well, so her cunt would benefit from the endorphins as well...this was referred to as the sweet spot but for women like Olivia it did little good.

"Tell me what you'll trade me...make it....good, bitch." It was more of a tease than anything, his choice was made and he wanted to punish her but perhaps she could impress him. She did after all escape much worse scrapes than this.

Had he been sober he wouldn't of even made the comment. The suggestion alone that he could possibly be swayed to reconsider once his decision was final, was something he wouldn't want her to think especially after all this time of lost control. He wanted to come off strong. As he once had been. Anything but what he was in her absence.

But unfortunately he was drunk.

He felt especially cruel and took her by the hair to pull her by it... but changed his mind.... No, she would enjoy that. Instead smashing the cutting board again on her behind. The flesh rippling in painful waves as the hue of her skin darkened already.

He palmed her ass, massaging the soft creamy flesh between his hard fingers.

 

[Jenn1982]

As expected Rune made her wait before doing anything, her apprehension rising every second. She felt his hand on her ass, softly at first then turning to a painful scratch that made her pull away slightly.

She turned her head towards him to say something just as he leaned down and she realized his intention a fraction of a second before his teeth dug into her skin hard enough to make her cry out. She had a few seconds to catch her breath before his hand hit her ass.

"So you want something else huh? You reeeealy don't want me to use this huh?"

She hurried to answer him but before she could get a word out he brought the paddle down on her ass. A loud, pained “fuck” left her lips as she fought the urge to crawl away from him and that goddamn paddle.

"Tell me what you'll trade me...make it....good, bitch."

She scrambled to think of something good enough to convince him to stop. Unfortunately, there was very little she wouldn’t do normally so coming up with something that would impress him was nearly impossible. Her ass was still stinging and that pain combined with her dread of another hit from the paddle made concentration difficult, to say the least.

He grabbed a fistful of her hair and she waited for a sharp yank that never came. Instead, the paddle hit her ass again and she felt a few tears slide down her cheeks as she screamed. He started rubbing her ass but it was anything but soothing.

“I’ll trade you whatever the fuck you want, anything, just stop, no more paddle!”

Rune had told her to make it good and her offer was pretty pathetic and uncreative but she wasn’t going to pretend she would’ve been able to think of anything better.

Offering up “anything” to Rune was not a good idea but the pain and desire for it to stop outweighed logic. When they had been together she would’ve been cautiously okay with the offer but things were different now.

 

[HisPureLust]

He stood there, his cock growing and straining underneath his tight pants, his muscular arms folded, the makeshift paddle in one hand. He shook his head mockingly and blinked hard...

"I'm disappointed....that's really not the best you can do us it?"

Some part of him, more than likely the part that new and cared for Olivia was beginning to tell him something was wrong. This was all happening too fast and he was still too "Unacquainted" with her for her to allow for this level of trust. Coupled with the fact that he knew getting into this he would be treading on her limits... And it made for a bad scene.

Normally Rune did not so much as touch alcohol. The abuse he suffered at its hands helped him make that decision. When he did however he was a quiet and brooding drunk. This could possibly be blamed on the booze but it was more than likely a combination of several factors.

None of them were good.

He lifted her face till her eyes met his and there was no mercy in them. He saw her tears and wanted to taste them but the thought of licking them off her face felt too cliche.

He thought lucidly for a moment and considered leaving. This could end right here before it got too dark. And in the morning he could explain it away and apologize.

Of course...he could show her the bottom of the rabbit hole, wich he assumed she had suffered for others...countless fucking others.. So why not me... Doesn't she OWE ME in fact? Yes... She does. He could beat her, injure her, make her regret opening her fucking mouth to him on the subway.

Something dark whipped it's tail inside his mind and he shut his eyes... Calming himself.

He brought the cutting board against her ass again, harder than before and the welts were forming, her ass a bright red. He hit her twice more rapidly and stopped, content with the small amount of damage and great amount of pain he had wrought.

"Beg me... Beg me good....," he looked away from her "and I'll stop."

He walked to a chair sitting in the corner and sat down, letting the paddle fall.

He was so tired suddenly.

 

[Jenn1982]

"I'm disappointed....that's really not the best you can do us it?"

The ridicule was clear in his tone of voice and Olivia cringed, not just because her attempt had clearly failed but because even now she still hated disappointing him. She hated that he had that hold over her still, that no matter what he would always have that hold over her. She had worked so hard on moving past her feelings for him, on not relying on his approval...on destroying the seemingly total control he had over her. And it was all falling down around her in a matter of hours.

A part of her didn’t know why that mattered, she was enjoying this, she was happy to be spending time with him again so that should be more important than continuing to be apathetic when it came to Rune. She tried to remind herself of the reasons she had forced herself to replace her love for him with indifference and she was almost able to fool herself into believing them.

So he was disappointed...the only reason it mattered was because it meant he wasn’t going to switch to something other than the paddle. She just had to focus and figure out something Rune really wanted. She manipulated men for no reason other than she was bored, she just had to take Rune off the pedestal she had him on and turn him into just another guy with a nice dick. She had nearly talked herself into thinking any of that was not only possible but something she could accomplish in an incredibly limited amount of time and then the paddle hit her ass again.

Every thought in her mind was replaced by pain and her focus went to remembering how to breathe. Rune didn’t give her a chance to recover before bringing the paddle down again and by the third blow, her sporadic tears had turned to sobs.

"Beg me... Beg me good....and I'll stop."

His words barely registered in her mind and it wasn’t until the paddle hit the floor that she realized he was no longer standing behind her. It still took her a few moments before she climbed off the bed and started crawling over to him. Her sobs had turned to silent tears that occasionally splashed onto her hands as she crawled. She looked up at him as she reached his feet.

“Please stop, Rune. I can’t take anymore with the paddle, it hurts so much. Please...for me, no more.”

 

[HisPureLust]

"Why did you think a relationship built on sex would be healthy?"

He sneered at the comment as if relationships could be built on anything else. Perhaps not sex alone but everyone is FIRST attracted to their partner, everything else stems from that. It's the law of nature. Our entire species is built...cities are built... To attract the opposite sex. It's all conquest, and lust... And to tell yourself otherwise... Well...

"It wasn't simply built on sex... We discussed that," he spat.

"You said," she flipped through her pad as she crossed her long shapely legs "... You had met her at a party and you were both involved and you had sex shortly after that, unable to contain yourselves."

She shut her pad and took her glasses off to clean them. Her holier than thou air was in full force today. She placed them back on her face and stood from behind her large wooden desk aware he was watching every tug of her breasts and thighs on her "professional" yet form fitting attire.

"How do you justify that as being not built on sex?"

"Because we talked a great deal before hand, on a great many topics. Sure I would of slept with her regardless but there was more there than just lust initially!"

She shook her head and he narrowed his eyes. He wanted to hurt her... He wanted to see how she looked with a dick in her mouth.

"Your kidding yourself Rune." The therapist sauntered to the window and paused briefly "The whole time you were simply chasing your prey as always. Perhaps it meant more to her but it did not to you... Not until you actually lost your plaything."

He stood and opened his mouth, but his words fell silently to the floor.

"Our time is up..."

-------------------------


"Please stop, Rune. I can’t take anymore with the paddle, it hurts so much. Please...for me, no more.”

He didn't see her as much as hear her...smell her crawl up to her place at his feet. His head was buried in his hands and the numb was already ebbing enough to leave him thinking. His plans for revenge just weren't in him anymore. You can orchestrate a broken heart, he'll he couldn't even accomplish a broken body.

Damn her. There was no numbing how he felt. This was all a gigantic fucken train wreck and it only made sense when they were fucking.

He silently and instinctively reached down with his free hand and wrapped it around her neck, then sliding up to her chin. He cradled the shape of her face and held her against his knee. He caressed her hair and led his hand to her shoulder where he again pulled her to him.

It was silent.

Somewhere outside and a few blocks down he could hear a police car. He focused on it if only to put his mind somewhere else.

He could of heard a pin drop when he opened his mouth. The sound of his dry throat and empty words echoed in the room as he inhaled to speak...

"Why did you leave me?"

 

[Jenn1982]

Rune didn’t say anything but after a few moments, his hand moved to grasp her neck. It moved up until he was gently holding her face. His other hand played with her hair softly before using her shoulder to pull her against him. She nuzzled his leg and relaxed against him.

Rune was the only person she felt comfortable enough with to actually enjoy this and she would’ve been content to sit like this for hours. She didn’t feel the need to fill the silence or break the stillness. She hadn’t missed being able to do that but now that she had been reminded how comfortable it was she wasn’t sure how she had gone so long without it. Her tears slowed as she laid her head against his knee and enjoyed the closeness she had only ever shared with him. It was like they were the only two people in the world.

"Why did you leave me?"

And just like that, her peaceful state was ruined. Her breath caught and panic filled her as she sat there speechless. She had known this was going to come up at some point but this was the most unexpected moment he could have chosen. She was a little drunk but not nearly drunk enough to be calm about the conversation that was now looming in front of her.

A part of her wanted to get up and distance herself from him but that would mean she would have to look at him while she tried to explain why she had broken his heart. She could give him some trite BS line about fearing commitment or it had been her not him, lying came easy for her and always seemed much more convenient than the truth. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to lie to him about this, even if she thought he would actually buy it.

She didn’t bother trying to figure out what to say, knowing she could spend a long time trying to figure out what to say.

“I left you because I had to. Because I thought we’d be the death of each other. Because everything I was revolved around you. Because I was selfish, I was scared you would break my heart so I broke yours before you could. Because I would never be enough for you. Because I couldn’t tell the truth from the lies with you. Because I lived or died based on you, on if you were pleased with me, if you were angry with me, if you said something sweet or lied.”

Fresh tears had started at some point but she barely noticed them as she sighed.

“I don’t know Rune, I left for a lot of reasons, what do you want me to say? Why did you let me leave?”

As she sat there waiting for him to say something she realized she had no idea how this was going to turn out. She didn’t know if he would yell at her or kick her out or accept her answer because he didn’t really care, he had just been curious.

She was painfully aware of how naked she was, it seemed like she should at least have some clothes on for this conversation, as ridiculous as that seemed. She desperately wanted to go back to the peaceful, content place they’d been a few minutes ago.

 

[HisPureLust]

"I left you because I had to. Because I thought we’d be the death of each other. Because everything I was revolved around you. Because I was selfish, I was scared you would break my heart so I broke yours before you could. Because I would never be enough for you. Because I couldn’t tell the truth from the lies with you. Because I lived or died based on you, on if you were pleased with me, if you were angry with me, if you said something sweet or lied.”

"I don’t know Rune, I left for a lot of reasons, what do you want me to say? Why did you let me leave?”

Rune was a light weight drinker. It was practically common knowledge. In fact when he had gone to clubs with his friends it was not uncommon for them to attempt to buy him a round and see how long it would take him to be tipsy off a few sips. He was thinner then and didn't do his yearly ritual of sweet oblivion and exorcism. The ritual Olivia started. He could hold it more now but he was still...by no means a non drinker.

He was somewhere between completely plastered and the level he usually achieved in those dark dark anniversaries... But he was still just lucid enough and un-numb enough to feel about half the weight of her words. It was like listening to her from through a door while listening to music at the same time. Despite all that she knocked the breath out of him. Her response blew the figurative door off its hinges and sent his music crashing down to a stop.

He wasn't expecting the truth, he didn't really want it... Though he did. Some part of him... Some part, was glad he could still trust what came out of her mouth. As soon as he heard her and digested it, which took a few moments longer due to inebriation, he understood he WAS indeed hearing the truth. She didn't sound very confident though... Which confused him. She sounded like a guilty women on trial for a crime she knew she was going to be serving time for.... Struggling to make sense of a passionate killing. But it WAS the truth. It satisfied him. Does that mean he was happy? Certainly not. But to hear it... Well, he wanted to say it made him feel a sense of closure, whatever that was... That myth that Tristam always preached of, but no that did not come, nor did revelation or understanding. All he truly felt in that moment was emptiness was regret. She might as well had been a million fucken miles away at that moment. He instantly regretted asking. This was happening now... wasn't it.

He knew he had fucked up, back then and right now, but at least...at least she was owning up to that it wasn't all him, at least she cared enough to do that, and not toss him out of her place on his ass for ruining her playtime with this sanctimonious pitying drivel.

Next he felt anger... Anger with himself for giving a fuck and anger at her for daring to do anything but beg for forgiveness. Seething rage for the parts of her statement that sounded more and more like excuses the more they rattled around his mind bouncing into dark dirty things and becoming covered in filth. Blinding fury for a question that was not hers to ask. SHE had left HIM, and no amount of pleading would of made her stay. Make her put off her own happiness. He hated her in that instant for suggesting he could of saved them, when they were doomed from the start. He knew it would all pass but he clenched his teeth as his pride and his childishness had their way for several moments. He remembered her sweet sweet promises... No doubt even made as she knew they were lies, since some came so close to the end.

"I'll never leave you"

"That's never gonna happen"

"We are just friends"

He shook his head like a dog trying to get water out of his ears. When his head was more clear he looked down at her, still against him. No doubt waiting for him to rage or throw a tantrum or do...something, that showed she had hurt him.

He sighed.

Unsure what to say. It wasn't fair that he should open up these wounds and not have the response to bind them up again... To heal them, but he didn't. He had no clue what he could say that would answer her... That would help her see that the person he was then simply had no idea what he had until it had soured and turned against him. Was there a word he could voice that could make Olivia see he had always loved her beyond measure, even while he was immature and careless with her heart? What phrase could explain that he believed in nothing now because what she had finally convinced him of back then, she mockingly smashed into a million fucking pieces that she then left him holding. Even now he doubted the truth as he heard it. He doubted his own rational.

He used the last of his fading strength, suddenly utterly defeated and weak, to lift her up and place her naked body in his lap. He held her like a child, like she was his again, regardless of truth or the past or what would be tomorrow and closed his eyes.

As he began passing out into sweet slumber his last thought was of her...as it always had been. He thought...

I'm sorry.

But he said....

"I love you."

 

[Jenn1982]

Despite the total uncertainty of how Rune was going to react, Olivia felt...calm. She had been dreading this conversation since she’d run into him again but now that it was happening her fear had dissipated. The moment was here, the conversation was happening and there was nothing she could do to change that.

She pressed herself closer against him, savoring the closeness and warmth. She inhaled the pleasant scent of him that still seemed familiar. She knew there was a good chance he’d be walking out her door momentarily and she wanted to make the most of what could be their last time together.

Dark memories of doing similar things in the weeks before she left him flooded back to her and her tears continued but this time for the past. She had known she was going to leave even though she hadn’t wanted to fully admit it to herself. She touched him more than she normally did, she told him she loved him more often, she spent more time gazing at him and taking in all the perfect little details of him. Their relationship had not been going great and she was sure her actions had come across as things getting better...right up until she looked him in the eye and told him she was in love with someone else. She could still remember every detail of that moment perfectly, the look on his face, the dead silence while he processed her words, the hateful things said back and forth, the sound of the door closing behind her as she left.

She had forced herself to bury these memories deep inside her mind, refusing to think about them but now that she had opened that door they came back with a vengeance. Guilt, and pain, and regret washed over her until they were the only emotions left in her. As the despair threatened to overwhelm her Rune came to her rescue. She felt him pull her up until she was in his lap, his arms cradling her and pulling her close. She nuzzled against his chest, feeling safe and warm.

"I love you."

She was scared to move or make a sound or even breath...like if she did the spell would be broken and he’d take it back. A part of her whispered that it was just the alcohol talking, that when he was sober he would be regretting all of this and would walk out of her life forever. Which would probably be the very best outcome, the least damage they could hope for out of this situation.

“I love you too.”

She laid awake for a long time, her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. She knew he was asleep and she wasn’t even sure if he’d been awake when she’d spoken. She thought about waking him up if only to get him to move to the bed so they’d both be more comfortable. In the end, she snuggled up against him and closed her eyes, letting sleep descend upon her.

 

[HisPureLust]

Rune nearly hissed at the sunlight like a nosferatu. It wasn't intensely bright but this AM everything seemed amplified and irritating. His mouth felt dry and his tongue felt thick, so he rose from the soft protection of the bed and it's covers and started towards the bathroom to brush his teeth.

He wasn't too hungover, but enough to be a bit shaky on his feet. A wall impeded his progress and for a moment he thought he had awoken in some strange woman's apartment. He didn't remember picking anyone up, in fact last night he had hung out with Olivi-

A sobering realization mixed with the lifting of his morning fog caused a large portion of his memory block to lift. He remembered last night but not in its entirety.

Somehow he realized that was probably for the best. At least for now.

He stood there trying to remember even as the crushing weight of embarrassment came full force atop him. Had he said something that would offend her, that would irreparably damage their.... whatever this was? He DID recall they had sex. It was amazing as always, the best ever though he'd never admit that to her... Or had he already? It was maddening.

Where he got fuzzy was shortly after the bottle of wine and they were teasing one another. He knew he had rifled through her things after sucking on her breasts for some time, finding a cutting board but he didn't remember actually using it. He would have to check her backside for the evidence of that.

He turned to face the bed. Just now realizing she might be watching him stumble about in his attempt to discern the events of the prior night with a smile on her face...

But the bed was empty.

He stood there with a great deal of things running through his head. Did she still hate him? Had they settled anything last night? Was this a new beginning or simply a better ending? He was wearing his tight pants but nothing else, he searched around for his shirt not finding it and left the bedroom In search of his clothes.

He wiped off the disorientation and placed a mask of stoic indifference upon his face, Rune had no idea what to expect or if Olivia was even still home.

 

[Jenn1982]

Olivia cracked her eyes open as the sound of her alarm echoed through the room. She shut it off and rolled over half expecting to find an empty spot beside her. Instead she was rewarded with the sight of Rune sound asleep. A part of her had been afraid she’d dreamed last night...of course the other part of her was hoping that had been the case. She vaguely remembered waking Rune up partway through the night to move to the bed. She stifled a yawn and snuggled into the covers.

She spent a few minutes watching Rune sleep before getting up and heading to the shower. She had a slight headache but otherwise she had no ill effects from the drinking. She took her time in the shower, trying to sort through her thoughts and emotions.

She could no longer deny that she had feelings for Rune once again. Despite his last minute revelation the night before she wasn’t sure how he felt in return. It was likely that the drinking had played a big part in him telling her he loved her, she just didn’t know if it had been a slip of the tongue or just the alcohol talking. She figured her best course of action would be to play it cool and see how he acted rather than potentially embarrass herself acting...mushy.

She finished her shower and got dressed, spending a few minutes on her makeup before heading out. She walked down the block to a cafe and grabbed some essentials; coffee, bagels, and some pastries.

She had dressed in her typical tight jeans with a low cut top and she got a few admiring glances as she waited for the food. She made sure none of her return smiles came across as an invitation even if she enjoyed the attention. The guy at the counter called her name and she grabbed her order and headed back to her apartment.

She set the food and one of the coffees on the kitchen island. She could hear Rune in the bedroom as she put cream and sugar in her coffee, taking a few generous sips.

Rune appeared from the hallway and she wondered if he was feeling hungover from the drinking. She didn’t know if he drank more now than he had before...though it didn’t seem like it from how quickly he had gotten drunk. It struck her that he might actually remember much of their evening. It would be easier for both of them if he didn’t but she wanted him to remember. At the very least she hoped he remembered their conversation about her leaving just so they wouldn’t have to have it again.

“Morning. I got some food and there’s coffee if you want it. There’s milk and juice in the fridge,” she said as she tried to keep from just staring at his bare chest.

“So...how are you feeling this morning?”

 

[HisPureLust]

"Morning. I got some food and there’s coffee if you want it. There’s milk and juice in the fridge."

He was admittedly surprised to find Olivia standing behind the kitchen counter with coffee in hand. Resting on the island were a number of bagels and other snack cakes in an attractive cardboard baker's box and a cup of coffee which was obviously for him.

It's hard to describe what the simplest gestures can mean to people who hardly ever receive them. Or rather it was difficult to understand what the smallest moment can mean when it comes from the right person.

“So...how are you feeling this morning?”

He sat in a small chair lining the island and shook his head.

"I think I may have over done it."

His statement could apply to a great many things from last night including but not limited to; the sex, his drinking, and his running of his mouth. But he left the interpretation up to Olivia.

Rune gazed at the inviting coffee sitting in the counter and shuddered...

"I'll skip the coffee thanks... But this is... All so sweet, thank you Hun."

He could feel it again. The distance, the miles between them and the chill of the battlefield... The chess game. She wasn't doing anything to tell him she was upset or shocked or hurt or relieved, she was simply drinking her coffee and he couldn't get a fucken read on her.

He pondered if it was simply just to early for his antenna to be up.

He poked at an appetizing sweet roll and took it from the box, taking a bite and analyzing if he liked it or not.

He finished the roll hungrily and sat there in silence. He turned to watch her and noticed she was all done up already. It made sense...this wasn't delivery breakfast, she must of slipped out while he was in his stupor.

He took a picture of her in his mind, sipping her coffee... She looked content... Or feigned it well, either way she was lovely and he didn't feel like ruining her morning with questions about last night. They had had a good time, and it was over now. She bought him breakfast so he could at least spend a few more hours with her... I mean it's not like he could leave right away now. It would be too obvious he was uncomfortable.

"Really... Thanx for breakfast, your the best."

He leaned over and kissed the top of her head, placing a hand on her shoulder and leaving to find his shirt to once and for all get dressed. Afterwards he would maybe sit on the couch and they could catch up some. It was the least he could do for her after what was more than likely a horrifying night. He hoped she hadn't said anything too revealing.

This is why I don't drink he thought to himself.

 

[Jenn1982]

"I think I may have over done it,” he said after sitting down in the kitchen.

She couldn’t help but laugh lightly at that.

“Yeah, you think? You’re definitely still a lightweight,” she said with a wink.

She pulled a butter knife out of the utensil drawer and started slathering one of the bagels with cream cheese. She left Rune to get his own if he wanted, not sure if he was too hungover to find food anything but nauseating.

"I'll skip the coffee thanks... But this is... All so sweet, thank you Hun."

She had almost finished her own cup and she slid the cup she’d gotten for him closer. They hadn’t stayed up all that late but all the sex, drinking, and emotional overload had left her a little groggy this morning.

Rune settled on one of the pastries and she watched him eat it in what seemed like two bites. Apparently, his hangover wasn’t the kind that impeded his appetite, she filed that new fact away with all the other Rune facts that she still had stored in her head.

As nice as this was Olivia still couldn’t tell how much Rune remembered about last night which probably accounted for some of the awkwardness that had returned, at least on her part.

"Really... Thanx for breakfast, your the best."

She smiled at him as he leaned over and kissed the top of her head softly.

“You’re welcome. I’m probably not actually the best...if I was the best I would’ve cooked breakfast but I figured a hangover was bad enough without adding food poisoning to it. Speaking of hangovers there’s aspirin in the bathroom if you need it.”

She started in on Rune’s coffee as he wandered around presumably looking for his shirt. A part of her was hoping he didn’t find it quite yet, she was enjoying watching him walk around shirtless. She was always partially ready for sex when she was around Rune but that thought seemed to ignite her underlying passion and she spent a few moments fantasizing about him fucking her on the kitchen island.

She pushed the thought away before her concentration was ruined. She walked into the living room and pulled Rune’s shirt out from under the coffee table and handed it to him.

“So...how much of last night do you remember?”

 

[HisPureLust]

"You’re welcome. I’m probably not actually the best...if I was the best I would’ve cooked breakfast but I figured a hangover was bad enough without adding food poisoning to it. Speaking of hangovers there’s aspirin in the bathroom if you need it.”

He laughed out loud to her statement, in fact she was the best, but he left that there. He had always teased her that anyone marrying her would not marry her for her cooking acumen but in all honesty he knew for a fact she was more than capable as with most tasks she set her mind to.

He mumbled something in jest about her being a trophy wife and not needing to cook outside of the bedroom.

He thought about them married, too hungover to truly fight any of these fantasies. He'd do most of the cooking as he was a true chef in his own mind, but he would occasionally want his chauvinism entertained... He'd want her naked and slaving away over a pot of something so he could slide his dick in from behind and wrap a hand around her large pregnant bell-

"Fuck.... Next time I tell you I'm drinking.... Remind me of this."

The vision was pushed out of his mind forcibly. He was kidding himself and he had bigger problems right now than entertaining his wet objectifying day dreams.

He skipped the aspirin, still trying to be as much of a purist as possible. Ironic, yes, considering the amount of alcohol he had just let invade his body. No one is perfect though.

Olivia took mercy on him and handed him his shirt. He had no idea where she had found it but he nodded his approval with a grin and stuffed himself into it like a child dressing for the first time. After he was no longer half naked he noticed a disappointment on her face. His heart began to sank a bit as he considered he was overstaying his welcome. No that can't be it, she offered breakfast. She must be upset about something I said last night, he concluded.

"So...how much of last night do you remember?"

Fuck my life...I DID say something. Fuck! It must of been pretty bad if she's still thinking about it and disappointed.

He thought hard a moment trying to put all the pieces together.

"Uhhhh...most of it I think," he began to lie.... "or.... Actually... Everything up till I started swimming in the wine."

He laid back in the couch, his head back and eyes fixed on the ceiling and his arms raised to rest along its back.

"I don't remember getting to the bedroom. Did I.... Did I make a complete ass of myself or what?"

 

[Jenn1982]

"Fuck.... Next time I tell you I'm drinking.... Remind me of this."

She laughed and flashed a wicked grin, not even bothering to lie and act like she would ever pass up a chance to get him drunk. When they’d been together he had been totally open with her for the most part but she doubted that was going to be the case now. She’d use any advantage available to her to find out his true feelings.

He’d put his shirt back on and she tried not to sigh in disappointment. She went back into the kitchen to grab her coffee and tried to appear casual as she waited for him to admit how much he remembered.

"Uhhhh...most of it I think or.... Actually... Everything up till I started swimming in the wine."

She walked back into the living room and curled up on the armchair since he’d spread out on the couch.

"I don't remember getting to the bedroom. Did I.... Did I make a complete ass of myself or what?"

She didn’t try to hide her disappointment since he was staring up at the ceiling. She had really hoped he’d remember their discussion...and his admission of love. His drunken lack of memory meant she held the power here...she could tell him anything she pleased. Granted that didn’t guarantee he’d believe it but still. Of course, when she had the power she actually wanted to just tell him the truth.

Even if it meant she could have a do-over with the whole “why did you leave me” question she didn’t actually want to have to have that conversation over again later. Plus she wanted to see what he would say about the love thing. She spent a few moments weighing her words before answering him.

“You didn’t make a complete ass of yourself, promise. You used my cutting board as a paddle, which was...unpleasant. We, uh, discussed our breakup some. That’s pretty much it.”

She took a few sips of her coffee as she watched him for a reaction. She set her cup down on the table next to the chair and looked over at him again.

“You told me you loved me.”

 

[HisPureLust]

There are a few special moments in your life that will claim a wrinkle in your mind which you will actually remember for the entire length of your tortured existence.

A deep deep wrinkle, far deeper than others, a memory that will cause pure embarrassment... Hate... Lust.... Regret... Whatever. Rune had several of these as most people did, and for the most part detested the bulk of them since the majority of them were things... Trauma or otherwise... which he would rather forget.

He recalled when he first made love, the awkward fumbling of bodies and words. He remembered when his father beat his brother for the first time. The sounds of the violence the smells of his drunken breath. He remembered when his mother took him to her boyfriend's house. The noises coming from the next room as she cheated on his father. He remember when Olivia told him she was in love with another man, and leaving him. The casual and almost rehearsed delivery.

He was fairly certain this would join those moments.

Not because it was equally as horrible, at least not on the surface. But because inside he was suffering a deep dark shock to his system. A betrayal on the most personal level. One of himself, one that meant years of his life trying to become stronger meant nothing, and that he could not be trusted around her. His foolishness had led to a very embarrassing, soul crushing situation, weakness... Utter weakness and vulnerability to the person he needed to be guarded against the most.

He stiffened.... It was entirely possible she was joking...wasn't it? Even as he thought it he began to remember the words as he drifted off into sweet drunken slumber. Or was he only imagining that he had said it now that she was planting the idea in his mind?

Rune looked at her and all hope of this being some mistake were decimated. She was dead serious and expected an explanation.

There's no description to describe the fresh hell that he was in, he could never admit that he loved her still after everything she did. It would stand against everything he was. They may always be good friends, may always care deeply for one another but he couldn't forgive her disposal of him. He'd never tell her that... Better she felt he simply moved on and didn't think of it.

"...I see."

He stood up and walked back over to the kitchen, taking the coffee and bringing it with him back to his seat on the couch.

"I think I will have this after all."

He gulped the warm, sweet liquid down and as he tasted the caffeine... A substance he had sworn off for a number of reasons he felt a bit better. He enjoyed the drink till there was no more and placed the hollow cup atop the table in front of them.

"I should apologize... It's not a fair thing to say to you, after...everything. I hope It didn't upset you too much. I was pretty hammered."

He tried to simultaneously not validate anything while not saying it was bullshit either.

 

[Jenn1982]

Time seemed to pass at an excruciating pace as she waited for him to say something...anything. At the very least he looked like he was embarrassed but she was pretty sure he looked angry too though she assumed it was directed at himself rather than her. She wanted to believe the embarrassment was because it had been a truth he hadn’t planned on admitting to her. She was far too pessimistic to really believe that though. She’d broken his heart and left him, he’d admitted he had not had thought of her in a good light since then. It was absurd to think he still loved her.

"...I see."

She watched as he got up and walked towards the kitchen, waiting for an elaboration. He came back with the coffee she’d gotten him and sat back down on the couch.

"I think I will have this after all."

She bit back a frustrated noise and tried not to glare at him. She was on pins and needles to see if he was going to admit it was true or not and he was focused on coffee. He spent a few minutes drinking the coffee and she nearly started tapping her fingernails on the arm of the chair as she waited. There was no way she was going to let him off the hook by changing the subject, she might be brimming with impatience but she would wait him out on this.

"I should apologize... It's not a fair thing to say to you, after...everything. I hope It didn't upset you too much. I was pretty hammered."

That answer had been about as informative as if he’d said nothing at all and she tried to keep her exasperation off her face. It would have been nice to think they were past trying to portray a certain image or save face with bullshit and lies. Considering she had spent a fair amount of time yesterday trying to phrase certain things in a way that fit with what she wanted Rune to think she couldn’t exactly think that was a realistic possibility.

“You were pretty hammered. It might actually be worse to say it and take it back than to have just said it though.”

She realized how whiny and pathetic that sounded the second it came out of her mouth and she quickly tried to clean it up.

“I’ll totally forgive you though since you’re not able to remember any of the embarrassing things I may or may not have said. Plus now I can make sure to never let you forget the time I totally got you wasted.”

It wasn’t all a lie, she actually would never let him live this down and she’d totally enjoy teasing him about it for years to come...assuming they actually stayed in touch. The rest of her words were half-truths at best but they not only helped her save face they would also let him feel less guilty or embarrassed so she wasn’t being totally self-serving.

 

[HisPureLust]

"You were pretty hammered. It might actually be worse to say it and take it back than to have just said it though. I’ll totally forgive you though since you’re not able to remember any of the embarrassing things I may or may not have said. Plus now I can make sure to never let you forget the time I totally got you wasted.”

He pushed a smile through his face even while calculating how far past this grueling topic his vague statement may have gotten him. She seemed a bit upset, he couldn't tell why as it was only a touch.

Rune chose his next words very carefully.

"My dad used to talk such nonsense when he was drunk," he let that hang in the air for a bit... Let it cut and and bleed... "But since I don't drink, let alone around people, I don't know what kind of drunk I am. I understand what you mean though... Like if I said... 'Oh just ignore that'... "

He circled his neck around and rotated his shoulders, popping muscles and bones loudly into place. It was something he did when tense.

".. But... It's probably the absolute LAST thing you'd wanna hear right now right? Especially from someone like ME," he spat the words out in his best fake jest, "after everything we've been through. I'm sure you wouldn't wanna go through THAT again... And who could blame you."

That's right put it all in her, deflect. Olivia is a smart girl, she knows what I said and she remembered it well enough to toss it back at me this morning. Assuming she knows it's how I actually feel somewhere in the pit where my heart used to be, she doesn't need to hear me voice that I might actually be open to a relationship with her. She didn't want me anymore and while we can still be fuck buddies, I'm not gonna be pining over her, at least not with her knowledge.

Rune knew she loved being loved and it helped her feel better about herself when he adored her when anyone... Adored her... But at the cost of his own well being he would never give her those things again.

I got over her once, and I can do it again.

She just wants to hear I still love her.. She wants to know if its true. So maybe she just thinks it was the booze. Maybe it was just the booze. A person isn't responsible for the shit they ramble while they are in drunken stupors. Dad was proof enough of that. I can still get out of this without looking pathetic.

He felt two inches tall.

Just tell her you love her, and go home. What's it matter really? Is the sky gonna fall? Does her knowing make life any less livable? It changes nothing

He steeled himself and stirred the anger to encourage him. He needed it now more than ever.

It changes one thing.

She'll know I'm not over her. She can never know that. It's all I have left in this pathetic game and our pathetic history.

 

[Jenn1982]

"My dad used to talk such nonsense when he was drunk but since I don't drink, let alone around people, I don't know what kind of drunk I am. I understand what you mean though... Like if I said... 'Oh just ignore that'... "

As cynical as she was, Olivia had not been expecting that. And this was the fatal error of letting things go as far as they had. If she had just enjoyed their moment at the church and left it at that she would’ve been so much better off. Instead, she had had to text him to meet her at the bar and now here she was, weak. She’d let her feelings for him return and now she was at his mercy.

She tried to keep her expression impassive as if his words meant nothing to her but she could feel the urge to cry starting. Apparently, he wasn’t quite done driving the point home and she tried to listen or at least appear to be listening to the rest.

".. But... It's probably the absolute LAST thing you'd wanna hear right now right? Especially from someone like ME after everything we've been through. I'm sure you wouldn't wanna go through THAT again... And who could blame you."

If his feelings hadn’t been clear before they were definitely clear now. It was obvious the thought of having a relationship again was vile as far as he was concerned and actually loving her again was just out of the realm of possibility. She knew she shouldn’t be mad at him, it was a pretty fair opinion considering she’d left him but there was still a thread of anger directed at him. She didn’t actually try to push it away...she needed any help she could get to destroy these feelings that had arisen.

So he didn’t want her other than for sex or maybe some company when he was bored, that should be perfect. She didn’t want a relationship in general and if she did why would she want one with someone who she’d clearly left for valid reasons. This was the best of both worlds, no relationship bullshit, and great sex.

As logical as her argument was she just kept replaying him saying that telling her he loved her was nonsense. Her urge to cry was growing by the second and she started to panic. She could live with him not loving her but she couldn’t live with him seeing how much it hurt her, she at least had to keep her pride.

“Been there, done that, right? It’s fine though, it was cute.”

She made a production of grabbing her phone and looking at it.

“Hey, I’m really, really sorry but I’m supposed to meet a friend for lunch in like 30 minutes. I mean, I can totally cancel if you want, I mean if you were planning to hang out together or something…”

She made sure she had an expression of regret and kept her tone sweet. Her words would come across as a veiled “I have better things to do, go away” which was exactly what she wanted. She was certain he would get the message and make a quick exit and she would be saved from him seeing just how much his words bothered her.

 

[HisPureLust]

"Hey, I’m really, really sorry but I’m supposed to meet a friend for lunch in like 30 minutes. I mean, I can totally cancel if you want, I mean if you were planning to hang out together or something…”

He contained his scowl, fairly certain it came as a mild, understanding grin. He wanted to simply call her bluff, and see what she would say when posed with the idea of not being able to run from this uncomfortable situation.

He flashed to a thousand times she had shut down on him and told him she was well when she wasn't. Ever so defended. It was easy to get in in those days... They were both so... Young... So happy and eager. Towards the end he suspected everything she said as a half truth and even more as lies. He was positive she usually told him the truth but the feeling of something being... Broken... Was always present. Then it ended. As all things do.

Olivia had changed, he had made note of that previously. The strength, the maturity, but more than that. She was never a tower of optimism but under the weight of countless disappointment and trauma he figured she was easily as guarded and cynical as he was now. It was a stark difference from who he knew originally but a gradual shift was never all that perceptible. Unfortunately he did notice. Rune hadn't seen her in so long and her demeanor wasn't so altered back then.

Point being she would play every hand close to the chest... As would he. No leaps of faith, no un-calculated risks. It was a way he had always lived, but it was more than a bit upsetting to see that kind of thing wrenched out of her, no longer a part of her. Being safe one hurt less. It wasn't rocket science. Not a very good match though... Two closely restrained individuals.

Either way their little sparring match was about what he'd expected originally but not after yesterday and last night. It was ironically disheartening to see their openness and good nature deteriorate into what he first thought he'd find when this all began. Sometimes it sux being right. Deep down he knew he was mostly to blame but it wasn't for nothing. As much as he loved her, alcohol was not the bridge to open expression, nor was it a band aid to mend the resentment he still harbored.

Again his mistake. Had he been stronger he never would of resorted to such methods of... Medicine. It was all simply too much to feel the night before.

It would take more than a simple night of great sex and a five minute conversation about the past to repair this... If that's even what she wanted. Rune for one had no idea what he'd like to happen. That is he knew what he wanted but not if it was best. He had now worn out his welcome and made quite a disaster of this tryst, and now had to summon the strength for what could very well be the last time he'd ever see her.

If she did have to meet someone he also noted she chose to not say 'this guy' as he figured she would. It was either due to its utter bullshitness or because she didn't wanna go for blood. There wasn't a chance in hell it was a woman... Olivia didn't get along enough with women and so had more male friends. It was also much more convenient as far as finding fuck biddies he was sure. Another thing he had grown to despise about her. Either way he nodded, unsure if she just wanted him gone or if she had some fuck coming over and decided this wasn't going anywhere.

"I understand," he said as void of emotion as he could "...again thanks for the breakfast."

He rose from the couch and walked over to his coat, as he put it on his mind was racing and his heart was beating out of his chest. He was so furious but he didn't know why. Isn't this what you wanted?! It's very possible you retained your dignity. Hell, she might even be attracted to you again considering how stand-offish denying your feelings for her were. Olivia loves what doesn't love her... Remember that. He nodded to himself and once dressed turned around.

Something seemed off about her but his radar was as malfunctioning as ever.

"So....," he stood there staring at her at the door as he opened it "I hope I didn't bug you too much last night... Or this morning. Thanks again for letting hang out. It was great seeing you again."