Is is possible to quit bdsm?

[1HF]

You are beautiful.

Thank you, and likewise. I'm very fond of this av you have up and I hope all is going well for you.

 

[LittleJade]

Thank you, and likewise. I'm very fond of this av you have up and I hope all is going well for you.

*smile* Thank you. I'm proud of the av, too.


Life is busy, but lovely.

 

[pink]

i couldn't ever foresee myself wanting to go back to vanilla. i've grown sexually so much the past few years. i was a late bloomer as it is, maybe that is part of why i could never ever see myself as anything other than submissive.

i have had my share of partner problems myself. It's very strange, or maybe it's not to any of you. Even when i am single, i am submissive, it is simply who i am, it is my personality. i couldn't be anything else.

 

[BiBunny]

I quit. And I came back. I'm not 100% happy either way, but I'm happier with it than without it. So...that's about all I can tell you.

 

[DVS]

Ooops, as for the actually question..

There are rare times I wish I could quit bdsm, simply for lack of finding a decent partner. For the most part though, I derive a lot of happiness from it, when I actually have it and I wouldn't ever want to give up that feeling.

and for Littlejade

So, a hey lady...is yous lookin a for da news sex a youall part ner tos make yous happy?

 

[LadyAria]

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

I hit on an epiphany the other day. I'm not happy. That I knew but upon review it struck me that until a few years ago I would pick the toughest things upon my path through life that I could. With exercise, career choice, women, etc..

I pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of and in those struggles I found a sense of worth and happiness. I impressed myself and recently that hasn't been the case. Life has been way too easy, even the harder parts.

I could find something to do, train for a run or do a hard project but it's as if the zest for life is just not there to back it up.

I guess the question is how do I find that again?

Blah..

I've been working on giving it up because it no longer makes me happy. It's very hard. I've forgotten how to have a different kind of relationship. I've been doing it so long. I split from my partner and considering dating. I'm not sure how to even consider broaching my sexual past with a stranger. Everyone local knows me as I was and not who I am becoming. I will always be kinky, but I think I can leave the harsher elements behind. I think I just want a different kind of love then I've had in the past and don't know if I will ever find it in BDSM. I do think it is possible, but I think it is a lot of work.

 

[Recidiva]

Even when I think I've finally figured out what I want, I overthink it and ask myself if it's really what I want, then decide it isn't.. I know exactly what you're saying.

Best of luck Betticus.. I hope you can figure out what makes you happy, and find it.

I guess that's why doing trumps thinking sometimes.

Can't predict what's going to happen.

It works for diets - eliminate one thing at a time or add one thing at a time on a trial.

Food allergies and deficiencies happen slowly. Can't fix them by doing the same thing, can't figure out what's wrong by doing the same thing. Same with practices and attitudes.

 

[Betticus]

I've been working on giving it up because it no longer makes me happy. It's very hard. I've forgotten how to have a different kind of relationship. I've been doing it so long. I split from my partner and considering dating. I'm not sure how to even consider broaching my sexual past with a stranger. Everyone local knows me as I was and not who I am becoming. I will always be kinky, but I think I can leave the harsher elements behind. I think I just want a different kind of love then I've had in the past and don't know if I will ever find it in BDSM. I do think it is possible, but I think it is a lot of work.

Kinky, naughty, adventurous with a penchant for nibbling, hair pulling and taking your partner on a whim with a bit of force? May tie wrists to a headboard once in a while....

Needs it's own acronym. Like lite beer... bdsm lite. hmm.. KNF, kinky naughty fun...

Someone else come up with suggestions..

 

[kiten69]

Kinky, naughty, adventurous with a penchant for nibbling, hair pulling and taking your partner on a whim with a bit of force? May tie wrists to a headboard once in a while....

Needs it's own acronym. Like lite beer... bdsm lite. hmm.. KNF, kinky naughty fun...

Someone else come up with suggestions..

Thought you were trying to quit?

 

[Betticus]

Thought you were trying to quit?

Quit being kinky? That would require also quitting breathing and living...

Doesn't mean I have to wear a leather apron and hood while putting little girls on the rack for ...... you know..

 

[kiten69]

Doesn't mean I have to wear a leather apron and hood while putting little girls on the rack for ...... you know..

*puts self on rack. . .waits*

 

[LadyAria]

Kinky, naughty, adventurous with a penchant for nibbling, hair pulling and taking your partner on a whim with a bit of force? May tie wrists to a headboard once in a while....

Needs it's own acronym. Like lite beer... bdsm lite. hmm.. KNF, kinky naughty fun...

Someone else come up with suggestions..

LOL. Perfect. I am the lite beer of BDSM now. Hrm, KNF works for me.

I can't just give it all up.

 

[Betticus]

*puts self on rack. . .waits*

*gets pointy things*

 

[Betticus]

LOL. Perfect. I am the lite beer of BDSM now. Hrm, KNF works for me.

I can't just give it all up.

Ok, we'll start our own club with a secret handshake and we'll have pizza and movie night.

 

[kiten69]

*gets pointy things*

*jumps off rack. . .goes to corner*

 

[LadyAria]

Ok, we'll start our own club with a secret handshake and we'll have pizza and movie night.

Can we wear funny hats? That would just make it the bestest ever.

 

[Betticus]

Can we wear funny hats? That would just make it the bestest ever.

I want the wizard hat and robe.

 

[Betticus]

*jumps off rack. . .goes to corner*

You come back here!

 

[LadyAria]

I want the wizard hat and robe.

Beret and neck scarf will do for me.

 

[kiten69]

You come back here!

First put away the "pointy things". *bites nails*

 

[twysted73]

It's in the human nature to like variety. So we can be temporarily distracted and wander from our core's preferences.
But we're also inherantly addictive little animals. We like what we like and we attach our happiness to it whether it's healthy for us or not.
It's been medically proven that by the age of 30 our basic core personality is set in stone.
Alterations, though minor, can be made. But who we are at the bedrock level will not deviate.
No more asking for a different hand or draw.
After 30, you're playing 7 card stud.
As for your question.....I've seen people try to quit D/s. It's a lot like Pandora's Box. Once opened, human nature makes it very difficult to quit. made even more impossible if we have an inherant attraction or draw to it.

But no rule is without it's exceptions.
Look at nuns. If I had to skip sex for life, I'd be one unhappy camper.
Or the local boyscout troup would. (ooh was that off-color? Too soon?)

 

[Betticus]

I thought that the church only banned the woman/woman sex in the middle of the last century. Or somewhere thereabouts when they figured out that nuns were getting it on with each other.

Then you have to ask to really explain why sex is so damn wring when it is basically the most pleasurable thing that people can share.

I think that I have figured out what happened.

At the top of the church heirarchy you have some control freaks that have been trained from their birth to believe that the church is always right and infallible and that if they are a member of that church in an official capacity they, by association cannot be wrong or fallible either. Since they are infallible and they are jealous of people lower in the churches heirarchy for having pleasurable fun with each other they somehow translate their own personal problem into being a problem for everyone else. By making it a "sin".

I actually apply this same logic toward just about any large institution with the exception of Hustler magazine which operates in quite the opposite way. They appreciate the female form... in interesting positions and various states of passion.

In my opinion Hustler magazine is closer to God than the church is.

 

[Betticus]

First put away the "pointy things". *bites nails*

But, it's a thing and it's pointy... it's in it's very nature to be a pointy thing. Being a pointy thing is it's purpose.