Is she pregnant?

[Jaded1]

You girls are being too hard on the poor guy. He's trying to care for his unborn child.

I hear you says that he shouldn't interfere with her not getting prenatal care, and that he should pay child support.

You can't have it both ways. If she's pregnant, which has not been confirmed, then he's either in 100% and can make her get care, or he's out 100% and shouldn't pay support. You want her to "have her cake and eat it too".

Since he's linked by law to any child, he has the right in many places to compel her to take care of it even before it's born. There have been people charged with substance abuse while pregnant on the basis of the damage to the unborn. (Not that this is the case here, but it illustrates the logic used.)

If she's pregnant she needs to be eating right, not drinking, etc. Postponing confirmation isn't wise. He should be able to compel her to take a test and act on the result. If he can't, then he's not a party to the child because he has no control over its welfare.



Nor do all women "know" their bodies as perfectly as you want to give them credit for. Remember: most of you have been pregnant before so you know a LOT more about how it goes than she would.



Finally, my personal opinion. Sex outside an agreed commitment to care for a possible child should not bind the father to support the child.

If a guy finds out a girl he had a weekend fling with is pregnant with his child, and he doesn't want it, and mom keeps it, then he shouldn't have to support it.

BC is a two way street but the money street seems only one way. The accidental pregnancy, if treated as an auto accident, would assign blame 50-50. But for an accidental child, it seems the blame is 100% to the father.

In any other activity, "bad faith" or "fraud by deception" would be a defense that would nullify any implied contract. The girl implicitly represented by making casual sexual contact that she was aware of the possibility of becoming pregnant, took actions to stop from being pregnant if she did not want to become pregnant, and by keeping the child voluntarily assumed the consequences of raising it.

What she did not do was implicitly or explicitly enlist the father to help raise it; indeed she gave tacit assurances that there would be no child because she is able to prevent herself from getting pregnant which is a foreseeable outcome of casual sex. Because of the unavoidable costs to her of pregnancy she has the obligation to mitigate them. She can do that by explicitly contracting with her partner to support any (accidental) child.

Now if two people couple up, live together, share resources, become partners then there is an implicit contract of mutual support. Indeed, this the the old "common law" marriage contract. So, if they become pregnant then he is obligated. He can't move out when she tells him and walk away without obligation.

But casual sex isn't common law marriage, except to a preacher. A one night (weekend stand) isn't a promise of support. And, there are girls who "trap" guys by deliberately getting pregnant either by casual sex or by deliberately breaking an agreement to use BC. Either case is a fraud perpetuated on the man by the woman.

IMHO.


PS: I've put on my asbestos pants.

Readyone... I was a single parent Dad. Raised two absolutely beautiful kids myself. Not look'n for any praises... I did it because I loved my two kid and I was their Dad. You just embarassed the entire male species... We're you been... A man takes responsibilty for his actions!

 

[dollface007]

Since it's almost been 2 weeks now maybe we need an update from Las Angles

Hmmm...not sure if he'll be back since most of us aren't sympathetic to his point of view.

 

[Jaded1]

Hmmm...not sure if he'll be back since most of us aren't sympathetic to his point of view.

He maybe a little to frightened to post... But, hopefully not to frightened to read...

 

[BirdsWife]

Re: BS

The first 10 years of my relationship with my husband, I had to be on the pill to not get pregnant. And I by myself performed one of the most amazing miracles in the history of man kind. I DIDN"T get knocked up. I must be a freaking genius. It has been another five years since I stopped using the pill, yet the miracle continues.

Lucky you that your birth control didn't fail. Too bad that isn't the case for all women on birth control.

If you look at any form of birth control outside of abstinance, it is not 100% effective, even when used properly. The pill and IUD each have a 1% failure rate, which adds up to a lot of unplanned pregnancies--and the overwhelming majority of them are not some woman trying to "trap" a guy.

Like Cakegirl said, sex is designed to make babies, and each time you have sex you need to consider that a baby is one of the possible results of your encounter. Whether you are a man or a woman, then, you should ask yourself this question every single time you are thinking about having sex with someone:

Do I really want to be emotionally and/or financially tied to this person for the next 18 years?