Just lonely and in a sexless marriage

[LovelyLadyBits]

Im a fully paid up member of the sexless marriage club. Its frustrating as all hell. I understand why she doesn't want sex, we have talked about it. But that doesn't help me. So I guess ive just got to live with porn and masturbation.

Ive come here to chat to ladies who are in the same boat. But theres like 10 guys to every woman so theres virtually no chance of that happening!!!

Love that you’re so tall

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

Yup. She's worried about me forming an emotional attachment to someone else.

I think it’s selfish if one denies their partner yet expects them to not want it elsewhere.

 

[cadman7777]

I think it’s selfish if one denies their partner yet expects them to not want it elsewhere.

My wife thinks the bare minimum is fine.....I'm like anything goes lets have some fun.....she's just let's just make each other cum and be done....so the end result is the but the process isn't very fulfilling

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

I wouldn't know even where to find that

But what’s the point if there’s no emotion ? You’re just left feeling empty .

 

[hulmule]

Yes its sad that our partners just cant see our needs. I understand that they have no desire. But the other partner may still have and just help us make it thru this also.

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

I've been in a sexless marriage for over 17 years now ... mainly because I had a dalliance and got caught. The ultimatum was that I stayed and didn't lose everything but I wouldn't be allowed anywhere near her ... Joined Lit a few years ago now and it's been good for releasing some of the frustration but I do still want to meet someone to scratch my itch occasionally

See this right here is what ticks me off ! When one denies their partner sexually yet dares them to even think about getting it with another ! It’s so selfish !

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

As I read all of these posts, at least I know I am not alone. Been with my wife for 19 years this coming may. We have been married 14 years this September. Unfortunately over the past few years, actually since we had our second child almost 6 years ago, this have been slowly getting worse. Now it's been like 10 months since we have had sex. Intimacy really doesn't exist anymore. I do love her and we are not that old. I am 45 and she just hit 40. I feel like we should still have it, but we don't. If I am being honest some of it might be my fault, as I stopped sleeping in the same room, I moved into the guest room about 2 years ago, but only because I have sleeping problems, and she does snore loudly and I can't sleep. I have tried headphones, and ear plugs to try to help, but after about a week it really hurts my ears. I would love to be able to sleep with her again, but it's very difficult, unless I take a lot of sleeping meds about an hour or two before bed to just pass out, but that's not very healthy. I am starting to get to the point of really not giving a shit anymore but I want to stay together if not just for my kids sake. Sorry for the long post, but I needed to rant/vent.

Get her to a sleep clinic ! Sorry for your situation .

 

[kyblue12]

It’s been 4 years here. Nothing since the birth of of our kid. She had postpartum depression and despite therapy it slid into clinical. I understand where she’s at, and do check in from time to time, but nothing. The love remains, and it keeps me from straying worse than being here but I miss the physical intimacy.

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

My wife lost interest after menopause a few years ago. Of course I jack-off frequently and it is a physical relief but very hollow. We make decent room mates but I miss the intimacy. I want to stay in bed naked on Saturday morning and even just hold her and kiss her but there is no interest on her part. A few years ago she asked what I wanted for my birthday and I asked for a blowjob. She did it but there was no enthusiasm or joy or playfulness. I am seriously considering ending it and living alone. At least then there is a chance to date or not date. FWB one night a week? I am 62. I will not cheat on her.

That’s just sad because giving a man pleasure in such a way can be so sensual and erotic if effort is put into it

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

Me too.
Took care of her, pretty much her whole adult life. Bought her vehicles (that she kept destroying), etc. etc.

Then her aunt dies, leaves her money and a house, and she leaves and takes me kids (which she never took care of in life).

I quit trying with her forever ago, because she never did. I wasted a lifetime on her, and sex ONLY ever happened when I initiated. Even then, it was all me.
My hand became the better choice, easily.

Sorry about all that seriously . But I’m having a hard time taking your name serious

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

I am in the same boat. Both in our 40s. He will not initiate anything at all. He will only lie there like a dead fish. He says he wants to but shows no excitement. So I find myself solo more often then not. I feel unattractive, boring and im just a mom now. But I am so much more. I am fun and playful. He just isn't into it anymore.

Sounds like mine except mine never initiated even in our first date . Worst date ever but I was getting something out of it so I seduced him on the living room carpet lol ! Unfortunately I think he thought that was how it was supposed to be and never did try initiating anything . I think I missed the red flags .

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Sounds like mine except mine never initiated even in our first date . Worst date ever but I was getting something out of it so I seduced him on the living room carpet lol ! Unfortunately I think he thought that was how it was supposed to be and never did try initiating anything . I think I missed the red flags .

I missed all the flags too x

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

I wish I could help but...
Would an outside the house FWB make things better or worse. Can you keep physical needs separate from emotional reactions that may surface?

It can be done . I’ve done it .

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Would love a fwb

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

Would love a fwb

Me too !

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Me too !

Shame you across the pond x

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

I love my wife, and I take care of her as she has and continues to go through several serious health challenges. Our car knows its own way to the Boston hospitals. We've been together since 1978, and our first 20 years together included the best sex and intimacy (they're related but not the same) two people could have.

Her physical and mental health issues have taken up our lives ever since. There is no more sex and hasn't been for 25+ years. Intimacy is rare. My sex life since the early 2000s has been my hand, some good lube, and Literotica. I will never abandon my wife (it has been suggested multiple times by multiple people who know our situation that I do so) because you don't do that to someone you love.

Up above someone mentioned getting a hall pass. I wouldn't know what to do with one once I got it.

That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen anyone post on here ! Bless you both.

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

Shame you across the pond x

Story of my life lol

 

[chefdp]

Sounds like mine except mine never initiated even in our first date . Worst date ever but I was getting something out of it so I seduced him on the living room carpet lol ! Unfortunately I think he thought that was how it was supposed to be and never did try initiating anything . I think I missed the red flags .

I wish someone would seduce me on the living room carpet. Lol

 

[Eyelevel]

Story of my life lol

I am from Texas if you want some local excitement.

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

By the way.

Can I thank you all for keeping me occupied this morning. Love that I have found like minded people to chat with. Shame the connection is so negative. Imagine if we all meet for a coffee morning. We might solve some or our issues

That could get pretty interesting lol

 

[Dpolo232]

Sounds like mine except mine never initiated even in our first date . Worst date ever but I was getting something out of it so I seduced him on the living room carpet lol ! Unfortunately I think he thought that was how it was supposed to be and never did try initiating anything . I think I missed the red flags .

This is so tragic. If it was me we wouldn’t have made it out of restaurant or wherever the date was being held lol

 

[Southernscot21]

As a woman in a sexless marriage, I get it. I weigh what I did when we got married. I've lost 80lbs thinking it was because of my weight, but it's not. His phone is more important than connecting to me and it's painful.

Care to dm me?

 

[Cultivateddesires]

As a woman in a sexless marriage, I get it. I weigh what I did when we got married. I've lost 80lbs thinking it was because of my weight, but it's not. His phone is more important than connecting to me and it's painful.

Mobiles are a scourge on all sorts of relationships. That, at least, is nothing personal but a societal blight. IMHO

 

[KeenVoyeur]

See this right here is what ticks me off ! When one denies their partner sexually yet dares them to even think about getting it with another ! It’s so selfish !

To me it was like just pushing me towards another extra-marital fling ... shame it just hasn't happened yet!

Sounds like mine except mine never initiated even in our first date . Worst date ever but I was getting something out of it so I seduced him on the living room carpet lol ! Unfortunately I think he thought that was how it was supposed to be and never did try initiating anything . I think I missed the red flags .

You wouldn't have had to seduce me! If I'd seen the signals, I'd have been like "Let's find a hotel" or something and the date wouldn't have finished for a couple of days!
I never wished I lived in Texas quite so much as I do now