Kinky people in vanilla marriages

[Yarglenurp]

I am not sure why anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone where you cannot be open about anything, including all your desires. Being listened to and heard, exploring together, etc is the fun in life. I personally do not engage or continue relationships where there is that incongruity.

Well, a lot of people get married when they aren’t sure who they are because they simply didn’t know enough. Or they’re just really good at denial. I’m guessing that, for a lot of people here, the thing holding them back is worrying about the divorce’s effects on their kids, losing their house, needing to pay spousal support.

 

[ZfrkS62]

Well, a lot of people get married when they aren’t sure who they are because they simply didn’t know enough. Or they’re just really good at denial. I’m guessing that, for a lot of people here, the thing holding them back is worrying about the divorce’s effects on their kids, losing their house, needing to pay spousal support.

That's a fair plug. Most of us got married in our 20s more or less, and if you're in your 40s, that was half a lifetime ago. If you're convinced you and your partner are the same people from back then, there's an argument that you're either in complete denial, or incapable of if growth as s person.

10 years ago, I wasn't interested in, or aware of, a few of the things I want to do now. I feel like if i revealed a fraction of my list to my wife she'd be in the same boat as Mrs.@Bisexguy70 .

 

[Yarglenurp]

That's a fair plug. Most of us got married in our 20s more or less, and if you're in your 40s, that was half a lifetime ago. If you're convinced you and your partner are the same people from back then, there's an argument that you're either in complete denial, or incapable of if growth as s person.

10 years ago, I wasn't interested in, or aware of, a few of the things I want to do now. I feel like if i revealed a fraction of my list to my wife she'd be in the same boat as Mrs.@Bisexguy70 .

My experience is that women can be game so long as their “disgust” factor isn’t hit. Asides from one woman, all the other women I’ve been with expressed disdain for cross-dressing, direct M on M activity, and general feminine behaviors. However, all have been willing to restrain me or let me wear a buttplug while I fucked them.

So… if your kink can be free of anything that is visually off-putting for her, try broaching the subject?

 

[Darkrhytm]

Well, a lot of people get married when they aren’t sure who they are because they simply didn’t know enough. Or they’re just really good at denial. I’m guessing that, for a lot of people here, the thing holding them back is worrying about the divorce’s effects on their kids, losing their house, needing to pay spousal support.

Growth and change happens, I think a good way to start would be to have a conversation about that and then lead with curiosity. Clearly there are a lot of societal factors that prevent human conversations but I think it is possible to get there over time. Also, a much different conversation about what “love” and authenticity means.

 

[ZfrkS62]

My experience is that women can be game so long as their “disgust” factor isn’t hit. Asides from one woman, all the other women I’ve been with expressed disdain for cross-dressing, direct M on M activity, and general feminine behaviors. However, all have been willing to restrain me or let me wear a buttplug while I fucked them.

So… if your kink can be free of anything that is visually off-putting for her, try broaching the subject?

If you have no idea where the disgust factor is, then it makes surprises really difficult.