Ladies what might you try if

[4x4in]

I am always looking for ways to make sex better for my wife. She worries more than I about PIV not working for her and doesn't want to suggest anything that will make me feel deficient. She only climaxes when I go down on her or when I rub her clit with the head of my cock. Penitration does nothing for her and she has always tried to be tight by trying to keep dry and having me try to penetrate before she is really ready. I think that she worries that she is too big. I know that I'm not going to get any bigger and she isn't going to get smaller so if you were married to a guy who has a dick like a thumb tack but without the head, short and skinny 4 inches long and less than 4 inches around maybe 1 inch across, on a very good day, which of the following might you like to try for more variety?

 

[wicked woman]

I am always looking for ways to make sex better for my wife. She worries more than I about PIV not working for her and doesn't want to suggest anything that will make me feel deficient. She only climaxes when I go down on her or when I rub her clit with the head of my cock. Penitration does nothing for her and she has always tried to be tight by trying to keep dry and having me try to penetrate before she is really ready. I think that she worries that she is too big. I know that I'm not going to get any bigger and she isn't going to get smaller so if you were married to a guy who has a dick like a thumb tack but without the head, short and skinny 4 inches long and less than 4 inches around maybe 1 inch across, on a very good day, which of the following might you like to try for more variety?

None of the above. I'd try educating myself to know that something like 80% of women don't climax through PIV alone. Lots of women need clit stimulation to orgasm. Add to that the knowledge that your penis size is only slightly smaller than normal...nothing out of the ordinary.

I'd listen to someone who told me that the size of a man's penis is rarely the deciding factor in whether sex is mind blowing at all...

Go back to square one...it's about the people...how they feel about each other...how they can excite the daylights out of each other. Have some fun.

 

[Retrieval]

Tel her to pick out a dildo to buy and that you're perfectly fine with it.

 

[4x4in]

None of the above. I'd try educating myself to know that something like 80% of women don't climax through PIV alone. Lots of women need clit stimulation to orgasm. Add to that the knowledge that your penis size is only slightly smaller than normal...nothing out of the ordinary.

I'd listen to someone who told me that the size of a man's penis is rarely the deciding factor in whether sex is mind blowing at all...

Go back to square one...it's about the people...how they feel about each other...how they can excite the daylights out of each other. Have some fun.

Thanks, Wicked Women, far from wicked EMO. Luckily, I've never really had a problem with my penis size although like most, it wouldn't upset me if it were larger. Before marrying my wife, I had many relactionships over the years and penis size was never an issue that I was aware of. It only got in the way of a few one night stands that went south the minute they stuck their hands in my pants. It never bothered me.

This is more my wife that has told me many times that she would like for it to be thicker only but she says it isn't important and it may not be but I do want her to feel as satisfied with our sex as possible. That is the reason for the post. I and always getting new ideas from the great folks at Literotica and especially the HowTo forum, the only one I read anymore.

I just wanted to try and clarify that a bit. Thanks again for your reminders and suggestions.

 

[4x4in]

Tel her to pick out a dildo to buy and that you're perfectly fine with it.

Thanks, Retrieval. That is already on our agenda. There are no sex shops and this, IMO, requires physical presence.

Enjoy your weekend.

 

[rthnck]

a little something extra

The first response is the correct one. It ain't the meat, it's the motion. But there is something to be said for adding sex toys to the mix. I'm a firm believer in communication and enthusiasm and making the best of each and every time you make love/fuck.

Toys like sleeves might make a good addition to your bedroom but should never be essential. It's for variety and I would hope that if they work out for you they will be something you need to make for a successful night.

So here are some suggestions. You are wrong about needing to go to a sex shop and today most stuff is bought online. You don't get measured for a sleeve, they are flexible to cover most every situation.


Here is a whole page of erection enhancers, extensions (look at the cyberskins) which will allow you to increase length and/or girth
http://www.adameve.com/sextoys/toys_erect-enhan-c-44.aspx


Some of these slip on just like condoms and some roll on like a turtleneck sweather. Keep in mind there will be a fairly large loss of sensation for you. Kind of a tradeoff with more for her, less for you. Additionally the extensions can be a little tricky (like balancing a little top hat on top of your penis) but it may indeed provide a different sensation for your SO.

Good luck.

 

[sunandshadow]

Some women don't like internal vibration, but if she does you might both enjoy inserting a bullet vibe before piv sex.

 

[makeluv2u]

FIRST i'd get some confidence. then i'd got to www.mattersofsize.com ...... if it doens't work how come my dick is an nich longer?

 

[RuReal]

Wicked woman is probably right, but let’s try this to see if she is. Does she react to other stimulation such as a finger moving in and out or two or more...? You get my drift?

Even with using your fingers it is hard to say if she can get off via regular sex because with a finger you can angle and curve it so that it hits the sweet spot. My wife does not get much out of PIV and it has nothing to do with her size or mine.

She enjoys my fingers, but like she said to me the other day I could rub her raw before she remotely got off on them she just does not work that way. A little clit action though sends my wife over the edge though.

Be a good lover the other bit is normal for most woman. I have only ever known one woman that gets off from insertion and I have met a few. This is something more in movies than in life.

 

[eudaemonia]

Go back to square one...it's about the people...how they feel about each other...how they can excite the daylights out of each other. Have some fun.

Bravo, bravo! Well said, WW.

My vote: A different position. To elaborate, the different position I'd take is the one in my head, a metaphorical change in position. Maybe doing it in another geographic or psychic location, perhaps?? Sometimes just the fantasy of doing something differently is enough to make plain ol' Tuesday night sex in bed vewwy, vewwy hawt.

Of course, actually "doing it" somewhere else such as in a public park, in the bathroom at a party, etc., ends up not being the complete erotic thrill you think it might be, but then again trying it is a lot of good, clean, giggly fun -- something to tell your grandkids about someday.

 

[Mazuri]

None of the above. I'd try educating myself to know that something like 80% of women don't climax through PIV alone. Lots of women need clit stimulation to orgasm. Add to that the knowledge that your penis size is only slightly smaller than normal...nothing out of the ordinary.

I'd listen to someone who told me that the size of a man's penis is rarely the deciding factor in whether sex is mind blowing at all...

Go back to square one...it's about the people...how they feel about each other...how they can excite the daylights out of each other. Have some fun.

I agree with this 100%. Like your wife, I can't orgasm through PiV alone. Period. Whether by my husband, who is somewhere on the smaller side of average, or with larger dildos. So I don't think your trying sleeves will do much for her, really.

The best suggestion I can make (as one who's been where she is) is for her to recognize and accept what makes her orgasm and then incorporate that into your sex lives. If you're ok with her using external stimulation (either through your hands or using a vibrator of some sort on her clit), then make sure she knows this. And then tell her again. And again. If she's anything like me, it will take her a while to actually trust that you mean it. Initiate toy use (if you use them) so she doesn't feel she's demeaning your contributions to her pleasure. My hubby enjoys using our toys on me, but rarely pulls them out which still makes me hesitant at times (but I'm getting better).

I love sex with my hubby and, in some strange way, love that I get little out of the actual penetration. Because I have usually already had an orgasm (or two) by the time he enters me (sometimes he's pouncy and goes first ), I can simply enjoy watching him without feeling like I'm being cheated. The look on his face and in his eyes when he reaches that peak...ah, it's such a beautiful sight. I'd miss that if I were in the throes of my own pleasure.

 

[SweetErika]

Penitration does nothing for her and she has always tried to be tight by trying to keep dry and having me try to penetrate before she is really ready. I think that she worries that she is too big.

Wow, does she actually enjoy sex when she's dry and not ready? Plenty of lubrication and orgasms beforehand make it a hell of a lot better for me and most women.

Secondly, does she know there's no such thing as a vagina that's 'too big' and a far more effective way to tighten and increase pleasure is strengthening her PC muscles through Kegel exercises?

Some of my best lovers have been your size, if not smaller than you. And, smaller is better for other things like anal, IMO. So, while different sizes and shapes can provide different sensations, it's pretty much all in the mind, manual and oral skills. Toys are a wonderful addition no matter the cock (or lack thereof, for that matter), so I'd definitely suggest picking up some of the vibes and dildos that come highly reccommended around here - they'll likely be pleasureable for you, too.

You'll get a far better selection and prices if you shop online. Our favorite is ebay's Mature Audiences section because we can get a bunch of toys to try at a fraction of the cost elsewhere. If she's excited about dildos, invest in 100% silicone and/or glass/pyrex. While more expensive, they're more versatile and will last forever if you take care of them (though they require less care than other materials). Also pick up some vibes (we like the hitachi magic wand with the blue attachments, for versatility) since it seems she enjoys clitoral stimulation.

Educate yourselves and use this as an opportunity to improve your sex life and add intimacy and more fun!

 

[FaeryFire]

As Erika said, she can strengthen her PC muscles with different exercises. I'm also told those metal balls you put inside yourself help with the muscles. I don't know, because I find them uncomfortable and huge, but it might be worth a shot.

Another thing you might like to try is buy her a small vibrator (a $20 5" cheapie will do) and have her kneel and press it against her clit as you take her from behind. As she gets aroused and climaxes her insides will naturally flex and tighten around you. Fun for everyone.
This is one of the things my partner and I do, and he isn't a very big guy at all especially when his ED is giving us problems.

Other things she can do, is if she is laying on her back with her legs streched up on your chest, she can cross her legs (or even just her ancles). This will make her feel tighter.
"Cowgirl" style will enable her to rub her clit on you, so you both have plenty of fun.

I actually enjoy letting him enter me before I'm ready, when im mostly dry. But then, I like pain too... so that has a lot to do with it.

As everyone else has said, do some research, educate yourselves. Sex is nothing like in porn and even the lucky girls like me who can come during PIV can't do it every single time.
Best wishes!

 

[MR.GGG]

I was wondering about the DRY /PAIN stuff but Erica said it all for me.

I'm thinking of starting a MARTYR SEX thread. From some of the posts I think it'd do at least as well as the TRY THIS thread. Women who ONLY get enjoyment through pain and watching him get off.

Men could only contribute if they know their SO is having MARTYR SEX with them and the only way they think they can make it better is by buying a huge (black of course) dildo or farming her off to several well hung guys who can fuck her raw and that'll somehow improve their relationship.

A recent study states, ""Only 14% of the women reported always experiencing orgasm during intercourse. Another 32% of the women reported that they were unable to achieve orgasm more than a quarter of the time, while 16% never achieved it at all.""

We post that stuff in here ALL THE TIME yet there are still couples out there who think that dry intercourse and pain or GROUP SEX is the way to increase a woman's chances of orgasming during PIV sex.

A MARTYR SEX thread sounds perfect.

 

[southernsky]

I would get a finger vibe from Fukuoku, and do her doggy style and reach around her to stimulate her clit. Or, get her and you one and depending on what position she's in, reach down and one of you vibrate her clit while you have sex. She'll come.

 

[BreeCarter]

I am always looking for ways to make sex better for my wife. She worries more than I about PIV not working for her and doesn't want to suggest anything that will make me feel deficient. She only climaxes when I go down on her or when I rub her clit with the head of my cock. Penitration does nothing for her and she has always tried to be tight by trying to keep dry and having me try to penetrate before she is really ready. I think that she worries that she is too big. I know that I'm not going to get any bigger and she isn't going to get smaller so if you were married to a guy who has a dick like a thumb tack but without the head, short and skinny 4 inches long and less than 4 inches around maybe 1 inch across, on a very good day, which of the following might you like to try for more variety?

i dated one of the smallest men alive, and it worked really well with doggy style. he was short, but short enough that he hit the g-spot so it worked.

 

[4x4in]

I've been out for a few days and what a great surprise, thanks.

I have been away trying to get customers organized after New Year's. One of the first things I did was to open Lit and was amazed to find all these suggestions. Thanks! You guys are fantastic! I was a bit uncomfortable posting initially but you have made me feel much more at ease. Thanks again.

 

[4x4in]

The first response is the correct one. It ain't the meat, it's the motion. But there is something to be said for adding sex toys to the mix. I'm a firm believer in communication and enthusiasm and making the best of each and every time you make love/fuck.

I agree but I guess this is more of a fantasy for my wife or more psychological or maybe even combined with physical. I'm not sure but I do want to give her more variety and better sex always.

Some of these slip on just like condoms and some roll on like a turtleneck sweather. Keep in mind there will be a fairly large loss of sensation for you. Kind of a tradeoff with more for her, less for you. Additionally the extensions can be a little tricky (like balancing a little top hat on top of your penis) but it may indeed provide a different sensation for your SO.

Embarrassingly, we have tried the cyberskin sleeves and they slip right off even without sex and without any lube. That may explain the issue a bit better.

Thanks a lot for the link, your understanding and GREAT suggestions.

 

[4x4in]

i dated one of the smallest men alive, and it worked really well with doggy style. he was short, but short enough that he hit the g-spot so it worked.

We have tried that several times but I think, because of your encouragement, we may just try again tonight. We have never been able to perfect the position to a point where my cock can stay in for more than one or two thrusts. That has always bothered me because I read that doggy style gives deeper penetration but it hasn't worked for us yet. But as they say, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try, again."

 

[4x4in]

I would get a finger vibe from Fukuoku, and do her doggy style and reach around her to stimulate her clit. Or, get her and you one and depending on what position she's in, reach down and one of you vibrate her clit while you have sex. She'll come.

Amazing, I've always been intrigued by those but never thought that they would be powerful enough to be useful. I'm definitely going to buy one and try it out.



Thanks,

 

[4x4in]

I was wondering about the DRY /PAIN stuff but Erica said it all for me.

I'm thinking of starting a MARTYR SEX thread. From some of the posts I think it'd do at least as well as the TRY THIS thread. Women who ONLY get enjoyment through pain and watching him get off.

Men could only contribute if they know their SO is having MARTYR SEX with them and the only way they think they can make it better is by buying a huge (black of course) dildo or farming her off to several well hung guys who can fuck her raw and that'll somehow improve their relationship.

A recent study states, ""Only 14% of the women reported always experiencing orgasm during intercourse. Another 32% of the women reported that they were unable to achieve orgasm more than a quarter of the time, while 16% never achieved it at all.""

We post that stuff in here ALL THE TIME yet there are still couples out there who think that dry intercourse and pain or GROUP SEX is the way to increase a woman's chances of orgasming during PIV sex.

A MARTYR SEX thread sounds perfect.

You are certainly correct and I'm sure that my wife has alway tried to start dry because she thinks that it will be better for me and it isn't or maybe for her, I really don't know. I do know that I like it much better hot, wet and loose but I'm sure she doesn't feel much if anything.

You also hit home on the "buying a huge (black of course) dildo or farming her off to several well hung guys who can fuck her raw". I would like to think that our intentions are noble although misguided and probably because of a sexual communications gap that exists. That is where, my wife and I fail, miserably.


Thanks for helping me put this in perspective.

 

[4x4in]

As Erika said, she can strengthen her PC muscles with different exercises. I'm also told those metal balls you put inside yourself help with the muscles. I don't know, because I find them uncomfortable and huge, but it might be worth a shot.

Another thing you might like to try is buy her a small vibrator (a $20 5" cheapie will do) and have her kneel and press it against her clit as you take her from behind. As she gets aroused and climaxes her insides will naturally flex and tighten around you. Fun for everyone.
This is one of the things my partner and I do, and he isn't a very big guy at all especially when his ED is giving us problems.

We've got to find a way to keep my cock in when doing doggy. Everyone recommends it so it must work. Thanks.

Other things she can do, is if she is laying on her back with her legs streched up on your chest, she can cross her legs (or even just her ancles). This will make her feel tighter.

Neat. That we should be able to handle. I sounds very sexy, to me anyway.

"Cowgirl" style will enable her to rub her clit on you, so you both have plenty of fun.

She has never been able to get off that way and it was an ex-girlfriend's favorite position. We're gonna work on that one, too.

I actually enjoy letting him enter me before I'm ready, when im mostly dry. But then, I like pain too... so that has a lot to do with it.

As everyone else has said, do some research, educate yourselves. Sex is nothing like in porn and even the lucky girls like me who can come during PIV can't do it every single time.
Best wishes!

Wow! FaeryFire, awesome advice. Thanks sooo much.

 

[4x4in]

Wow, does she actually enjoy sex when she's dry and not ready? Plenty of lubrication and orgasms beforehand make it a hell of a lot better for me and most women.

Secondly, does she know there's no such thing as a vagina that's 'too big' and a far more effective way to tighten and increase pleasure is strengthening her PC muscles through Kegel exercises?

Some of my best lovers have been your size, if not smaller than you. And, smaller is better for other things like anal, IMO. So, while different sizes and shapes can provide different sensations, it's pretty much all in the mind, manual and oral skills. Toys are a wonderful addition no matter the cock (or lack thereof, for that matter), so I'd definitely suggest picking up some of the vibes and dildos that come highly reccommended around here - they'll likely be pleasureable for you, too.

You'll get a far better selection and prices if you shop online. Our favorite is ebay's Mature Audiences section because we can get a bunch of toys to try at a fraction of the cost elsewhere. If she's excited about dildos, invest in 100% silicone and/or glass/pyrex. While more expensive, they're more versatile and will last forever if you take care of them (though they require less care than other materials). Also pick up some vibes (we like the hitachi magic wand with the blue attachments, for versatility) since it seems she enjoys clitoral stimulation.

Educate yourselves and use this as an opportunity to improve your sex life and add intimacy and more fun!

Thanks, SweetErika, as always, your post is full of the wisdom, experience and openness that characterizes you. We are definitely going for more toys and will look at pyrex. They have always seemed cold to me. You also reminded me of the old faithful, hitachi magic wand, gotta get one.

Have a great day and thanks again,

 

[4x4in]

I agree with this 100%. Like your wife, I can't orgasm through PiV alone. Period. Whether by my husband, who is somewhere on the smaller side of average, or with larger dildos. So I don't think your trying sleeves will do much for her, really.

The best suggestion I can make (as one who's been where she is) is for her to recognize and accept what makes her orgasm and then incorporate that into your sex lives. If you're ok with her using external stimulation (either through your hands or using a vibrator of some sort on her clit), then make sure she knows this. And then tell her again. And again. If she's anything like me, it will take her a while to actually trust that you mean it. Initiate toy use (if you use them) so she doesn't feel she's demeaning your contributions to her pleasure. My hubby enjoys using our toys on me, but rarely pulls them out which still makes me hesitant at times (but I'm getting better).

I love sex with my hubby and, in some strange way, love that I get little out of the actual penetration. Because I have usually already had an orgasm (or two) by the time he enters me (sometimes he's pouncy and goes first ), I can simply enjoy watching him without feeling like I'm being cheated. The look on his face and in his eyes when he reaches that peak...ah, it's such a beautiful sight. I'd miss that if I were in the throes of my own pleasure.

Thanks, Mazuri, Your point about the sleeves is point taken, plus I can't keep the cyberskin ones on, even without sex.

The rest of your post sounds soooo much like us, all the way down to penetration. I always try to be sure that she has already come at least once before I penetrate her.

Your communication seems a bit better than ours and I'm going to work especially hard on the amazing second paragraph, that I marked in red. I find it filled with personal wisdom acquired through a process similar to what we trying.

Thanks, Mazuri, soooo much for sharing something so personal. I can assure you that your experiences will be of benefit to us.

 

[4x4in]

Some women don't like internal vibration, but if she does you might both enjoy inserting a bullet vibe before piv sex.

A very good point, thanks.