Lazy writing

[legerdemer]

One of my early writing jobs was as the senior in-house copywriter for an international lingerie company. And, yes, G really is a size. And so is H. Or at least they were back then.

No problem with G or H being a size - but a 34G? (the number, of course, refers to the circumference of the chest). The chest circumference and cup size are related and scale together to a large extent. 34" is pretty thin - paired with a G cup size, they'd look like soccer balls stuck on with velcro or something on a waif.

 

[sr71plt]

So, what public personality hefts a G? Jayne Mansfield and Jane Russell were both just Ds.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

So, what public personality hefts a G? Jayne Mansfield and Jane Russell were both just Ds.

"Just" Ds, pilot? What were you hoping for?

 

[sr71plt]

"Just" Ds, pilot? What were you hoping for?

Hoping for just exactly what I asked for. If they were Ds, what public personality is a G?

 

[robertreams]

Let's face it folks, it takes all kinds. I can not imagine ever being turned on by the term 'boobs', but I see it in stories here all the time.(sometimes even "boobies").

 

[CharleneBarr]

When you're paying to read the stories here you can demand professional quality.

In the meantime how about a thank you to people who entertain you for free rather than your whining snark?

I'll ignore that snide and condescending remark for the moment. I do have my own stories on here too, but I'm not half as good as you on the advertising side of things. Therefore I also come under the category of writers who are being read, for free, by others, so I think that does give me some leeway?
As for my original comment, you'll see it was 'Does anybody else, like me,...' so was obviously a personal viewpoint and I was simply asking whether anyone else feels the same. It was certainly not a demand. Get your facts straight.

 

[Handley_Page]

One of my early writing jobs was as the senior in-house copywriter for an international lingerie company. And, yes, G really is a size. And so is H. Or at least they were back then.

They still are:-
See HERE.
Note the difference in codes for the Bra sizes. UK 'F' is US 'G'.

Hoping for just exactly what I asked for. If they were Ds, what public personality is a G?

See HERE.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Hoping for just exactly what I asked for. If they were Ds, what public personality is a G?

Oh, I see. You were seriously asking the question.

Kim Kardashian, for the nonce, isn't it?

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Hoping for just exactly what I asked for. If they were Ds, what public personality is a G?

Good question. I can't think of any mainstream celebrities built like that, but I can name a number of porn performers with those attributes. I also personally know two women that big, but celebrities, no.

 

[sr71plt]

See HERE.

Thanks. Wanted to see what that looked like.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Does anybody else on here get annoyed by slovenly writing, where the author substitutes numbers and abbreviations for the good old written word? I'm obviously thinking of things along the lines of
'she was 5'8" with a 36DD bust, while he was IQ67 but with a good 9"'
A story is not a phone message where you're limited in the number of characters you can use - I want to read a story, not an Argos Catalog!
btw (I can use 'btw' because this is a forum and not a literary masterpiece in the making...) I defy anyone without a tape-measure in his pocket to make those kinds of observations anyway - so the only exceptions are probably carpenters or undertakers who might come across a car crash on the way home and see a good opportunity...

I'm confused. Is the OP complaining about the use of numbers in descriptions, or the use of Arabic numerals in place of words? Or both?

If it's the former, then I'll stick with my original answer. If the latter, then I would defer to the CMS.

I think OP is complaining about a chain of numbers, symbols, and abbreviations. The example would be a sign of a lazy or inexperienced writer trying to make something more believable by adding facts without realizing their facts demonstrate their inexperience or lack of skill.

I'd much rather read wonder how the well-hung dummy got the tall and statuesque hottie than read a bunch of numbers, abbreviations, and symbols.

 

[SandraMustard]

I was a 36C before pregnancy, then D during. I nursed our kids and at those times, I jokingly said I was E & F at the same time (Empty and Full).

 

[redzinger]

I was 36F going on G.

Then I started cycling, cut out gluten and cut down carbs.

I went down to 32D. Poor puppies. Even my mother told me I'd lost my best assets.

I've cut down the cycling and been eating cake, now I'm around 34DD.


The moral of this story is:

Cycling is awesome.
So is cake.

 

[susurrus]

I think the bigger problem is that far, far too many writers feel it's necessary to bring a screeching halt to their narrative to hand out a long string of statistics. As has been said, it's the fact that so many of the authors are amateur that such things keep occurring.

When asked for advice, I try to tell fledgling writers to READ - and NOT stories here or on sites like it. They need to read from authors who are having to answer to the person signing their paycheck. Very rare are these people stopping everything to get out the ruler and pin every little thing down.

I'll admit I haven't read all the posts here, and more than likely, what I've said has been said before.

How well do you think it'd have gone over if, after sixteen pages, JRR Tolkein stopped everything to write: "Bilbo was 34, 4' 6", 84 pounds and his shoe size, if hobbits wore such apparel, was 22EE."

Such things are unnecessary, as I think all here generally agree. Let the narrative give such statistics, but only as they're needed. It's inexperience and lack of reading anything other than stories by people like themselves that proliferates all this ridiculous numeration.

Are there times where the numbers and abbreviations are appropriate? Certainly. It's knowing when that's the tricky part for a lot of people.

And don't get me started with people writing in chatspeak/textspeak... Unless there's a section of the story relating what was written in such an exchange, it's uncalled for.

Oh, and I've been criticized in the past by some readers for not having given them a list of numbers to go by, claiming they couldn't visualize a certain character. A part of it comes down to so few people these days having any imagination.

I've got my own philosophy on all this, as you can tell, and I'm starting (starting?) to ramble, so I'd better shut the hell up before I start foaming at the mouth and making less sense than I have so far...

Thank you for your indulgence...

 

[susurrus]

no need for a duplicate post...

 

[robertreams]

Charlene, I get distracted by lazy writing and a bit annoyed when I read a 'writer' post that she/he only does the 'creative' part, not all that boring punctuation and grammar and sentence structure stuff. I suppose there may be a 'Jackson Pollack' kind of writing in which one merely throws the letters at the page and lets them fall where they may, but to say one won't 'bother' themselves with the hard part, is a bit insulting to those of us at any level who are struggling to utilize every tool to improve our craftsmanship. I do not demand perfection, only effort, free or not.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

You come here to this site and for free have access to tens of thousands of stories in every kink imaginable in every style imaginable.

But you want to gripe about lazy writers?

When you're paying to read the stories here you can demand professional quality.

In the meantime how about a thank you to people who entertain you for free rather than your whining snark?

http://www.photoshopsupport.com/photoshop-blog/10/cs5-04/ib-blog/kapow/batman.jpg

 

[susurrus]

I've also run across writers who've prefaced their stories with something along the lines of: "I'm not a professional writer, so I don't want to be bothered with comments about structure, spelling, punctuation and such."

To come right out and say, "I don't really care," makes me wonder why they bothered in the first place, and why I should waste my time reading their stories, when they've already told me what they've written is going to be a long, hard slog, and that they couldn't care less how difficult it is. When confronted by such comments by the author himself, I typically give those stories a pass.

I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of writers at Lit who make their living at it. It's a good bet that the great majority of us are amateurs. It's just a matter of how much some of us care for 1. the language, and 2. our readers.

I've also run across the statement, "I'm just writing stroke stories," as if that excuses them from their abandonment of the rules of English. I comment back that it doesn't matter what you're writing, the rules still apply.

 

[Handley_Page]

I've also run across writers who've prefaced their stories with something along the lines of: "I'm not a professional writer, so I don't want to be bothered with comments about structure, spelling, punctuation and such."

To come right out and say, "I don't really care," makes me wonder why they bothered in the first place, and why I should waste my time reading their stories, when they've already told me what they've written is going to be a long, hard slog, and that they couldn't care less how difficult it is. When confronted by such comments by the author himself, I typically give those stories a pass.

I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of writers at Lit who make their living at it. It's a good bet that the great majority of us are amateurs. It's just a matter of how much some of us care for 1. the language, and 2. our readers.

I've also run across the statement, "I'm just writing stroke stories," as if that excuses them from their abandonment of the rules of English. I comment back that it doesn't matter what you're writing, the rules still apply.

I quite agree.
They are the sort of writers who fail to realise that it's the Writing that's important. And we all endeavour to write better next time, eh ?

But I wonder how many of those writers might try and improve when told "It's crap because. . . . ." followed by "how to improve it" set of notes.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

I quite agree.
They are the sort of writers who fail to realise that it's the Writing that's important. And we all endeavour to write better n4ext time, eh ?

But I wonder how many of those writers might try and improve when told "It's crap because. . . . ." followed by "how to improve it" set of notes.

Yes, however . . . I strive to tell a good story, a genuine story. Yes, I love the good turn of a phrase and the artful painting of a picture with just words, however: I want a story. I want to see a character rise, fall, or change between the beginning and the end. Do I accomplish that in most of my Lit stories? I like to believe I do. I sincerely try to describe more than which body parts are touching and the measurements of those body parts.

 

[DeYaKen]

I don't know if you call it lazy writing or not, but my philosophy is 'If in doubt, leave it out.' If a character's physical appearance is not important to the story, I don't give a description. As the OP said in her second paragraph no one takes a tape measure to bed when they are going to have sex, so actual sizes just make it seem unreal.

If a character has an enormous tool, it doesn't matter whether it's twelve inches or ten, what matters in the story is that it is bigger than the competition. There are other ways of writing that without having to resort to numbers.

I don't know whether using numbers is lazier than using words, perhaps using neither is lazier still.

 

[wetandwhat]

So, what public personality hefts a G? Jayne Mansfield and Jane Russell were both just Ds.

Come on think Dolly Parton.

 

[susurrus]

My take on physical descriptions is: do what we all usually do: guess, compare.

"His cock was maybe a little longer than mine, but mine was definitely thicker."

"Her tits looked a little less than a handful, but they were shaped perfectly."

"He wasn't a tall man."



We live in a world of gray (and I ain't talking about the movie that's running right now). As has been said, we don't go to bed with a tape measure. However, I know there are people out there who don't have the imagination to get through without being able to cement a visual in their brains.

I like to keep most descriptions vague, so that readers can put whoever they like into the roles: themselves, their spouses, the girl behind the counter at the grocery store, the grubby looking kid at the skate park. Superlatives like perfect, gorgeous, amazing and the like (as well as negatives of the same sort), while not specific, definitely give an idea of what the character thinks of whoever he or she's speaking about.

Very seldom is it necessary to pin down a physical characteristic with numbers, unless it's pertinent to the narrative.

 

[susurrus]

I quite agree.
They are the sort of writers who fail to realise that it's the Writing that's important. And we all endeavour to write better next time, eh ?

But I wonder how many of those writers might try and improve when told "It's crap because. . . . ." followed by "how to improve it" set of notes.

They won't try to improve because they've already stated that they aren't interested in receiving criticism. It's that "flipping the bird" to the reader that makes me avoid those writer's stories.

 

[TamLin01]

Statistics isn't lazy writing. It's just bad writing.