Let's talk about PM's

[aussiegeekygal]

I'm not much of a PMer. I am terrible at writing back and enjoy my play and banter on the boards more than the behind the scenes conversation.
I try to respond to those of you who I post alongside, but the odds of me answering a PM are pretty low. It's not personal. I also don't really strike up a conversation over PM unless an exchange in a thread prompts it. If I don't get a response, my life goes on. I liken PMs to letters that come in the mail unsolicited. I'm not going to write "No thanks" on a credit card application and send it back.

 

[sybarite_1]

I love the iggy feature.

One guy wanted me to be his Mommy. I said I'm not into that but he could put a personal ad to find somebody. He turned mean and nasty.

Another said he was a Dom and started giving me orders.
Like, take a pic of my naked torso while holding a paper with a specific message so he'd know I was female. Sheesh.

Whacko Brigade in Town!!!

 

[sybarite_1]

I just turned my pms back on after about 6 months being off.
I was just so saddened by many of the people here and the things that they say in private. Just so you know...No I don't want to be raped by you ...and this said after an initial hello.
what the fuck!!!
I guess that is one reason I am not here much anymore too. I just feel a bit jaded now.

Yeah, some people have NO social skills.
Use the Ignore feature. Then you don't get any PM or see their posts in threads.
I'm Canadian...Ontario born. PM me all ya want, eh.

 

[Mayberrygirl]

I guess...Mmm I get the inappropriate Pms... Now and again...I say back..Fuck... Hahaha...usually that is all it takes to shut down the shit...Other than the odd weird boy ..or girl...I enjoy the heck out of my PMs... I have run into some very priceless peeps here!

 

[lowphat]

I guess...Mmm I get the inappropriate Pms... Now and again...I say back..Fuck... Hahaha...usually that is all it takes to shut down the shit...Other than the odd weird boy ..or girl...I enjoy the heck out of my PMs... I have run into some very priceless peeps here!

Mayberrygirl sent me one of the best PMs I've ever received

 

[Mayberrygirl]

Mayberrygirl sent me one of the best PMs I've ever received

Well baby...you KNOW I luv ya! !!

 

[lowphat]

Well baby...you KNOW I luv ya! !!

And it shows the difference between women sending PMs, and men sending them.

"Fuck or Pass" thread, I posted that it seemed a bit crude.

She PM'd me. "Get in there and fuck the women, pass on the guys."

I told her I didn't want to upset anyone. She told me, "Fuck em, if they don't like it, they should stay out of the thread," and I took her word for it

 

[Penuche]

<snip>Just be a real human being.<snip>

This, a million times!

If I think you're boring, clingy, inappropriate, obnoxious, or you've got bad timing, I'll tell you.

I'd hope that most of the time litsters PMing me will use their common sense, so that I don't have to tear a new one in anyone.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I tend to not PM until I am certain the woman might enjoy one from me....only occasionally do I write first....I often assume I am a bother...lol....usually the women I am drawn to already have flames in lit...or their profile essentially says they are really not interested.....but if I can still navigate thru those mine fields, then it always comes down to whether I can be playful with the woman.

Some women respond to playfulness - my style anyways. But many do not....those I wouldn't write to anyways. But if the woman is responding to me when I am being my typical goofy self, there is a much greater chance of my writing a PM...at least to tell her I think she is fun....

Only very occasionally do I write after writing steamy posts back and forth in a thread....

Of course, once I DO have my foot in the door, I check to see if we are compatible sexually before sending tons of stuff I have written to them.....and I try to not continue until I get a sense they actually appreciate what is being sent to them...

All those rules I self-impose is why I don't get many PMs personally....

 

[thespiceoflife]

I love those ones that are clearly someone copying the same message and directing it toward every single vaguely-female username. Only marginally better are the ones where someone tries to shoehorn me into a pre-made scenario they've already written.

I've just had my first couple of pms, one a conversation over several messages. I find it a bit difficult to know what to say initially but find I open up to questions quite quickly. I feel or need to feel a sense of trust with the poster.
My main motivation is curiosity about why others post and what turns them on, how it fits with the rest of their lives.
Being an introvert I suppose I find 1 to 1 a bit easier than big conversations but I am contributing after lurking for a year or so!!

 

[beachbaby179]

This is the perfect place for introverts. It's so much easier to open up when you don't have to worry about eye contact. Welcome. Fill out your profile though. A lot of people here won't correspond with a blank slate. Tell us something about you.

 

[FelicityJohns]

I do try to respond to all, but I also miss some here and there. Not intentionally, but I do sometimes bite off more than I can chew, and am a bit scatterbrained, as well.

I don't respond to the fishers, though. You can tell who they are, have put little or no thought in and only have one thing on their mind. And I know that's what this site is for. Part of me still believes we should be more civilized about it, and less like animals in rut. I don't respond openly to the in rut part, but I love being spoken to and wooed a bit. I think everyone needs to be made to feel special from time to time, and if you're nothing more than a raging hard on, well...

I'm with y'all on the empty profile too. I ALWAYS check the profile, and often that's what will make me decide whether or not it's worth the time. I like to see a little thoughtfulness, a little wit, and it helps too to have your age, sex and a couple of interests listed. Those things will better aid me in formulating a thoughtful and appropriate response.

I also love hearing from women. I've connected with a few ladies here who are absolutely awesome. It always brightens my day to get a message of support, or be able to offer one in return.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I used to agree with the whole "I'm not your doll" thing..
but I work with a section of the public that was raised differently than I was and it's changed me a little. For some, babe/honey/sweetie is just a friendly name. I've certainly had visitors or patients at work who say, "hon, can you get us some ice?" or "sweetie, would you mind helping me?" They might just be avoiding the "I don't remember your name.. and bitch who's too busy to see that I need something seems uncalled for.. "

Now.. I can say all that because I don't really get PMs from too many people. I seem to be excluded from copy/paste chains and outward requests for pictures of my armpits. It's pretty rare that some man just wants to know the exact shade of my toenail polish. I've only been asked once if I thought I could orgasm from the smell of lemon pledge. (It's a shame that I can't really because I might dust my house more often)
In fact, I'm really the best when someone wants me to play the Dom. I don't get that role much in my real life and it's so fun to try something new. I think I'm really a natural and have blossomed quickly. Usually he'll say, "tell me what to do" and I'll say, "stop talking to me"
and he does. The power is really a turn on. I see why so many are into that sort of thing.

 

[FelicityJohns]

I used to agree with the whole "I'm not your doll" thing..
but I work with a section of the public that was raised differently than I was and it's changed me a little. For some, babe/honey/sweetie is just a friendly name. I've certainly had visitors or patients at work who say, "hon, can you get us some ice?" or "sweetie, would you mind helping me?" They might just be avoiding the "I don't remember your name.. and bitch who's too busy to see that I need something seems uncalled for.. "

Now.. I can say all that because I don't really get PMs from too many people. I seem to be excluded from copy/paste chains and outward requests for pictures of my armpits. It's pretty rare that some man just wants to know the exact shade of my toenail polish. I've only been asked once if I thought I could orgasm from the smell of lemon pledge. (It's a shame that I can't really because I might dust my house more often)
In fact, I'm really the best when someone wants me to play the Dom. I don't get that role much in my real life and it's so fun to try something new. I think I'm really a natural and have blossomed quickly. Usually he'll say, "tell me what to do" and I'll say, "stop talking to me"
and he does. The power is really a turn on. I see why so many are into that sort of thing.

^^This brought a smile today!

I am one of those that drops the 'hon', 'sweetie' what have you. Not because I can't remember your name (usually, ok, it's been known to happen) but because I'm a southern girl and it's just how we talk. I've learned though, that without the expression and inflection of person to person, it can sound patronizing, so it's a habit I've tried to break. It never dawned on me that it could be construed as anything but affectionate until one guy said to me, "I feel cheapened when you call me hon." It hurt my feelings that I'd accidentally hurt his.

When I say those words, it is always with warmth. It means I have a fondness for you. You can't know that on the internet though

 

[Corbal]

I answer all of my PM's, even the ones that are silly. Those are my favorite.

And, FTR, I'm hot and don't get nearly as many as the OP. I call bullshit.

 

[FelicityJohns]

I answer all of my PM's, even the ones that are silly. Those are my favorite.

And, FTR, I'm hot and don't get nearly as many as the OP. I call bullshit.

Hot is a state of mind.

I get about the same number as the OP. And I don't consider myself 'hot' in the least. My brain is smokin' though.

 

[BradBigBrain]

I've heard so many tales of woe about the PMs that people receive it makes me laugh.

#humblebrag - "I get so many unsolicited dick pictures. I can't stand it. I wish men wouldn't do that to me."

#signatureblock - I'm so hot that I need to specify rules for you to contact me. Don't PM me unless you've read my signature, unless we've interacted on some obscure thread, don't ask me questions about my sexual proclivities (even though I've answered every anal/blowjob/fuck questionnaire), don't comment on my tits (even though they're fully on display), use proper grammar to contact me, be nice, don't cut and paste other messages, be genuine, have a billion dollars in the bank, and be 6'2, 195 pounds with a 6 pack and a 10 inch cock. All others will be ignored.

 

[ChainedUp]

For me to PM there has to be something of interest, a hook to make conversation be memorable if it's the first time I've PM'd someone. If it's someone I'm friendly with then it's either an ongoing conversation of something I know they are interested in. A person has to have some approachable quality, otherwise ot doesn't do much for me. Now having said that, just because I haven't PM'd you doesn't mean I don't find you approachable, most likely I've never noticed you or I haven't found the hook to reach out with and be memorable.

 

[Corbal]

Hot is a state of mind.

I get about the same number as the OP. And I don't consider myself 'hot' in the least. My brain is smokin' though.

No. It's a temperature. I'm wearing layers.

I recommend a physician and an antibiotic for your fever. You're clearly infected with something.

 

[VanGogh66]

I'm not hot so I never get the first PM, I had to try to use my humor and Jedi mind tricks to get a reply.

 

[HellBenttoo]

I now question the wisdom of ever sending anyone a pm.

 

[BradBigBrain]

I now question the wisdom of ever sending anyone a pm.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[fletchx]

When I say those words, it is always with warmth. It means I have a fondness for you. You can't know that on the internet though

I do the same thing. My intentions are always good. Whether or not they are seen that way is another thing.

I think communication and understanding are key, of course, but a big thing that I think helps is patience. That being said, if you're a woman here attempting to sincerely respond (or at least read) tons and tons of PMs, I can understand time/patience running short.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I used to agree with the whole "I'm not your doll" thing..
but I work with a section of the public that was raised differently than I was and it's changed me a little. For some, babe/honey/sweetie is just a friendly name. I've certainly had visitors or patients at work who say, "hon, can you get us some ice?" or "sweetie, would you mind helping me?" They might just be avoiding the "I don't remember your name.. and bitch who's too busy to see that I need something seems uncalled for.. "

Now.. I can say all that because I don't really get PMs from too many people. I seem to be excluded from copy/paste chains and outward requests for pictures of my armpits. It's pretty rare that some man just wants to know the exact shade of my toenail polish. I've only been asked once if I thought I could orgasm from the smell of lemon pledge. (It's a shame that I can't really because I might dust my house more often)
In fact, I'm really the best when someone wants me to play the Dom. I don't get that role much in my real life and it's so fun to try something new. I think I'm really a natural and have blossomed quickly. Usually he'll say, "tell me what to do" and I'll say, "stop talking to me"
and he does. The power is really a turn on. I see why so many are into that sort of thing.

Hahaha!

 

[curvyangel1969]

#signatureblock - I'm so hot that I need to specify rules for you to contact me. Don't PM me unless you've read my signature, unless we've interacted on some obscure thread, don't ask me questions about my sexual proclivities (even though I've answered every anal/blowjob/fuck questionnaire), don't comment on my tits (even though they're fully on display), use proper grammar to contact me, be nice, don't cut and paste other messages, be genuine, have a billion dollars in the bank, and be 6'2, 195 pounds with a 6 pack and a 10 inch cock. All others will be ignored.

Thanks Brad. I'm gonna start using this one!