Let's talk about PM's

[BradBigBrain]

Thanks Brad. I'm gonna start using this one!

As long as you're a Cards fan, be my guest.

 

[curvyangel1969]

As long as you're a Cards fan, be my guest.

I qualify!

 

[BradBigBrain]

I qualify!

Cool. Me, too. Since I found out Bob Gibson and I share birthdays

 

[staciliv]

Having been on Lit for only a few weeks and only recently started posting on the boards, I'm interested to see some opinions on PM's.

I get about 5 of them a day during the week, maybe 10 to 15 on the weekends. I find myself deleting about 95% of them for one reason or another without an answer.

The reasons vary. Some are crude and simply not worth my time; others start off polite and respectful, and then degrade quickly into either a request to send them a story I've written (and posted about in Author's Hangout) or they want to give me ideas for stories they'd like to see (thank you, I can find my own inspiration); others are so completely illiterate that I can barely understand them, much less want to respond.

Other PM's are nothing more than a person's stats and request to chat/text/phone; those I also ignore. Or I get one word - "Hi". It's like brushing past someone in a crowded store. Unimaginative, boring, and doesn't leave an impression at all.

The ones that I do tend to respond to have to somehow be unique, pique my interest, be flirty without being over-the-top. I imagine it's like being hit on at a bar - if the guy is sincere, friendly, and can speak without being cheesy and make my eyes roll, I'm intrigued.

So I'm interested to know - what makes you respond to a PM? Is it looking at the profile of the sender? Is it responding to a compliment? Do you believe every PM deserves an answer, if nothing more than to be polite?

I'd love to hear from both genders here, although I realize that most of the guys here don't get many PM's. Guys, do you send out a bunch at a time, hoping that at least one will respond? Or do you always get a response?

My opinion, for what its worth: I try to respond to ALL initial PMs. If a guy PMs 'hi' at least hes taken the time to do something, so I usually respond in kind, 'hi yourself'. More detail gets more detail from me.

But I think its rude not to respond at all. Just my opinion.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

But I think its rude not to respond at all. Just my opinion.

curious about this because you're not the first person to say this.

Do you respond to all solicitations your get in your regular mail.. the realtor who might want to sell your home.. the life insurance guy who wants to help you plan retirement.. the Easter Seals envelope that your neighbor put in your mailbox?
Some people here are just fishing and playing the numbers game.

 

[FelicityJohns]

curious about this because you're not the first person to say this.

Do you respond to all solicitations your get in your regular mail.. the realtor who might want to sell your home.. the life insurance guy who wants to help you plan retirement.. the Easter Seals envelope that your neighbor put in your mailbox?
Some people here are just fishing and playing the numbers game.

And personally, I think it's pretty rude to send a pm that's of that nature. I'd never send a guy one like that. I find it disrespectful.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

And personally, I think it's pretty rude to send a pm that's of that nature. I'd never send a guy one like that. I find it disrespectful.

yeah.. but if you were going to take him down a notch, you'd do it in some syrupy lovey way that makes him feel special in the process.. I envy you southern girls for that

 

[FelicityJohns]

yeah.. but if you were going to take him down a notch, you'd do it in some syrupy lovey way that makes him feel special in the process.. I envy you southern girls for that

Nah, I got my bitch side too He would know though, if I dropped a 'hon', it would be dripping with sarcasm! lmao

 

[Scout44]

So far, I think I have been relatively lucky in the PM department. I have not received some of the more questionable ones others have mentioned ( the rape one? Jesus really? For fuck's sake what is wrong with people?)
I do lean towards logging in as invisible as well though, maybe that does help? I don't answer every PM and that is not to say I have a line up in my inbox, I certainly don't. Is that not polite? maybe...However, I see it as an investment of time, this is place to come and meet some new people, have some fun and relax. If I am going to invest some time with a person, I hope it to be worth while on my part as well as theirs, so it's nice to receive something with some thought behind it, something that catches my attention at a minimum.

 

[Sundayschild]

I send the occasional random PM - but I take pains to choose my wording so no one feels like I'm demanding a conversation. If I don't get any response it means that I've misjudged, often my comment, sometimes the recipient. Either way, if we get on we chat, if not I'd far rather find out sooner than later.

Same applies to the (admittedly less frequent) out of the blue messages I receive. The only ones I ignore are the flat 'What u into' types that seem to come in waves.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I send the occasional random PM - but I take pains to choose my wording so no one feels like I'm demanding a conversation. If I don't get any response it means that I've misjudged, often my comment, sometimes the recipient. Either way, if we get on we chat, if not I'd far rather find out sooner than later.

Same applies to the (admittedly less frequent) out of the blue messages I receive. The only ones I ignore are the flat 'What u into' types that seem to come in waves.

^^^^ he's got a good attitude!

 

[Sundayschild]

^^^^ he's got a good attitude!

Fanks darlin '

 

[neakman]

I answer all of my PM's, even the ones that are silly. Those are my favorite.

And, FTR, I'm hot and don't get nearly as many as the OP. I call bullshit.

well maybe you would get more PM's if you didnt always threaten to bite their dick off......

Ohh, and who said you were Hot?......I want names.

 

[jusgoodcleanfun]

What are these "PM's" ? And how does one go about getting one?

 

[TurmoilSlider]

What are these "PM's" ? And how does one go about getting one?

Unicorns poop them.

So first, find a unicorn...

 

[beachbaby179]

well maybe you would get more PM's if you didnt always threaten to bite their dick off......

Ohh, and who said you were Hot?......I want names.

That just made me choke on my water. Hahahahaha!!!

 

[neakman]

That just made me choke on my water. Hahahahaha!!!

you should always put your water down before reading my posts BB179

 

[Bookishleigh]

PMs - I get sidetracked and forget about PMs or don't log on for days. So for my Lit friends that I do PM with, hopefully they understand. I normally get to it.

As for random PMs, I RARELY get those, but my profile also states I'm not looking for anything more than I already have. So normally when someone random PMs me, it's in response to a thread we've both been posting in or they didn't bother to read my profile (and thus do not necessitate a reply). I used to reply to almost all PMs but encountered some real creeps that way so now I keep it pretty limited.

Oh, look...squirrel!

 

[Choirg1rl]

I used to respond to everyone. I felt that if they had taken the time to write, the least I could do was give a response. Even if that response was "wow, do you realize how crude you just were?" or "it would appear we're looking for dofferent things. Best of luck."

Now I don't. If there is something written to me that I find myself wanting to respond to, then I do. Hard to put my finger on it. One of my favourite people wrote me saying "sweet curvy red: 3 of my favourite things". It was slightly cheesy, but I took it as tongue in cheek and took a chance. It was a good chance to take. Others have put real effort into their pm, and I can tell it's actually directed at me. With those I spend some time replying thoughtfully.

But in the end I'm looking for something that strikes a spark. Hard to define what that is.

I'm pretty new here and this has been my experience as well. x

 

[Holding_myown]

Having been on Lit for only a few weeks and only recently started posting on the boards, I'm interested to see some opinions on PM's.

I get about 5 of them a day during the week, maybe 10 to 15 on the weekends. I find myself deleting about 95% of them for one reason or another without an answer.

The reasons vary. Some are crude and simply not worth my time; others start off polite and respectful, and then degrade quickly into either a request to send them a story I've written (and posted about in Author's Hangout) or they want to give me ideas for stories they'd like to see (thank you, I can find my own inspiration); others are so completely illiterate that I can barely understand them, much less want to respond.

Other PM's are nothing more than a person's stats and request to chat/text/phone; those I also ignore. Or I get one word - "Hi". It's like brushing past someone in a crowded store. Unimaginative, boring, and doesn't leave an impression at all.

The ones that I do tend to respond to have to somehow be unique, pique my interest, be flirty without being over-the-top. I imagine it's like being hit on at a bar - if the guy is sincere, friendly, and can speak without being cheesy and make my eyes roll, I'm intrigued.

So I'm interested to know - what makes you respond to a PM? Is it looking at the profile of the sender? Is it responding to a compliment? Do you believe every PM deserves an answer, if nothing more than to be polite?

I'd love to hear from both genders here, although I realize that most of the guys here don't get many PM's. Guys, do you send out a bunch at a time, hoping that at least one will respond? Or do you always get a response?

I haven't read all the responses but I assume it's the tale of two cities, a totally different experience for the men compared to the women. We men rarely receive unsolicited PM's and when we do we're hitting reply before we've even read it. Plus they're usually friendly anyway. I guess there just aren't any crude women on Lit that would send a nasty, filthy dirty PM. (If there are, the PM button is somewhere over there <<<<<<)

I'm just surprised that men still send those types of PM's. I can't imagine they get any responses. Actually, that would make for a good thread, "Men that send dick pics and requests for 'Whuch ya' wearin', do you get kinky replies in return?" If they're getting responses then that explains why they still do it. If no one responds then you have to question their intelligence to continue to do the same thing with the hopes of a different result.

 

[where_is_RUTH]

I'm going to say horses for courses

 

[starrynightin64]

I generally am lucky & get nice PMs on here just the odd night crawler at 2 am if I pop in to kill time for my meds to kick in. Those seem to be strokers who don't read profiles.

Most my PMs are generally from first responders, spouses and extended family. I have some great friends on here too who check on me to make sure I'm ok. I don't mind talking to new people as long as I'm not hit with IN MY FACE angry.

Once in a while I tick someone off without meaning to (like this week). We have some very strong personalities mixed in here on Lit. I avoid the GB for the most part cause those people freak me out. On a Play Ground (& here too) it's like the kids who played kickball. I don't like getting hit out of no where so I just avoid that whole thing.

 

[AKentuckyLady]

I generally am lucky & get nice PMs on here just the odd night crawler at 2 am if I pop in to kill time for my meds to kick in. Those seem to be strokers who don't read profiles.

Most my PMs are generally from first responders, spouses and extended family. I have some great friends on here too who check on me to make sure I'm ok. I don't mind talking to new people as long as I'm not hit with IN MY FACE angry.

Once in a while I tick someone off without meaning to (like this week). We have some very strong personalities mixed in here on Lit. I avoid the GB for the most part cause those people freak me out. On a Play Ground (& here too) it's like the kids who played kickball. I don't like getting hit out of no where so I just avoid that whole thing.

I agree, Starry, I took one peek inside GB and slammed the door on that category as quickly as I could. For the most part, the PM's I get late at night are generally from people in the UK and I've found that the majority of those are from really nice people, like pcookie.

Since I started this thread, I've gotten to know a lot more people and it's easier for me to weed out the silly requests. Something very interesting has happened though - I've found that some of the men that have 25k or 30k or even 50k of posts are sometimes the most rude, demanding, and over-the-top aggressively sexual PMers. That really surprised me.

I'm not saying all of them are like this, so settle your jets, boys And I've now had the opportunity to meet a lot of really nice women too who I love to talk to and correspond with.

Since I'm not the newbie on the boards anymore, things have definitely slowed down. I now look at new women posting and think, "Ooooh I bet you're going through what I went through - you're the new, shiny, sparkly toy on the threads! Have fun discovering Lit!"

I still tend to get a lot of PM's from locals too, for a late night hookup. Those are always fun to shoot down

 

[Mebtaz2000]

I don't send PM's until I have chatted on a thread with someone and have gotten a sense of who they are.

When I send a PM it will usually start with something they have said on a thread I would like to elaborate on or seek clarification. I rarely ever send a PM that is not responded to because of this practice.

When I receive a PM it's always nice if they are responding to something on my profile, which shows a genuine interest and or like me they are wanting to pursue a conversation started on a thread. I have always responded to PM's of this nature.

 

[starrynightin64]

I don't send PM's until I have chatted on a thread with someone and have gotten a sense of who they are.

When I send a PM it will usually start with something they have said on a thread I would like to elaborate on or seek clarification. I rarely ever send a PM that is not responded to because of this practice.

When I receive a PM it's always nice if they are responding to something on my profile, which shows a genuine interest and or like me they are wanting to pursue a conversation started on a thread. I have always responded to PM's of this nature.

I like PMs from you.
He's helped in what I accomplish support wise.
Pony, 3B and several other Lit friends I consider my first responder family.