Let's talk about women and edging

[KindredFlame]

The clue is in the word edging. In my opinion the longer you can keep me on the very edge of an orgasm the more intense the orgasm is when it takes over. From mind blowing to cataclysmic if it’s done right.

 

[cascadiabound]

The clue is in the word edging. In my opinion the longer you can keep me on the very edge of an orgasm the more intense the orgasm is when it takes over. From mind blowing to cataclysmic if it’s done right.

True, tho there is a point of diminishing returns. Edged too long without some level of intense feeling, can just become a bit chore like and the denial starts to feel oppressive rather than fun.

For me, having elements of pain connected to edging helps prevent that. And having the edging tasks be varied makes me have to pay attention. Knowing that he WILL give me enough to get that happy adrenaline and he will reward me with orgasm or other things but at an unknown time frame keeps the edge sharp... ya I guess pavalovian training and intermittent reward systems work on me.

 

[KindredFlame]

True, tho there is a point of diminishing returns. Edged too long without some level of intense feeling, can just become a bit chore like and the denial starts to feel oppressive rather than fun.

For me, having elements of pain connected to edging helps prevent that. And having the edging tasks be varied makes me have to pay attention. Knowing that he WILL give me enough to get that happy adrenaline and he will reward me with orgasm or other things but at an unknown time frame keeps the edge sharp... ya I guess pavalovian training and intermittent reward systems work on me.

This is very true. I think in my wife’s words boring the family.

 

[Hypocrites]

True, tho there is a point of diminishing returns. Edged too long without some level of intense feeling, can just become a bit chore like and the denial starts to feel oppressive rather than fun.

For me, having elements of pain connected to edging helps prevent that. And having the edging tasks be varied makes me have to pay attention. Knowing that he WILL give me enough to get that happy adrenaline and he will reward me with orgasm or other things but at an unknown time frame keeps the edge sharp... ya I guess pavalovian training and intermittent reward systems work on me.

With my @HyposMuse I often add pain to back her away from the edge. Pausing to hurt her nipples or clit drives her close to madness sometimes when she's edged. But I also add it when I allow her to cum. The reason is two fold.

One, the intensity is exponentially increased and wrecks her sometimes. She's cascaded and she's "complained" about clenching and spasms in her pussy in the afterglow.

The other side is, every time she experiences some focused and intense pain when and throughout her climax, it wires that part of the brain who enjoys the masochism and binds it to pleasure.

 

[seela]

Pressure to orgasm after edging would be an impossible task and I’m a service sub who is tortured if put in an impossible situation.

I think this is a very good point. Usually people talk about how edging leads to amazing orgasms, but in my experience that is not always the case. And in that moment, if I were expected to cum, it would absolutely crush me big time.

Thanks for chiming in with your viewpoint, I like to hear countering experiences to the “general consensus” within a thread as well.

How does prolonged edging shape your desire to orgasm?

Does the desire to orgasm just plateau somewhere, where you are still able to resist the temptation? And if so, how much time does it take to reach the plateau? Or does the desire to orgasm actually decrease, while you find bliss in your state of heightened sexual arousal?

The buzzy bliss is my happy place and I enjoy that more than an orgasm. My relationship with orgasms is rather complex anyway, but edging and denial allow me to enjoy things a lot more.

The first 2-3 weeks are usually really difficult (but intense and fun), but after that I settle into the blissful denial. I wouldn’t say my desire to orgasm necessarily decreases, it’s more that my desire to maintain the foggy happy drippy state increases. It’s a balancing act.

 

[seela]

True, tho there is a point of diminishing returns. Edged too long without some level of intense feeling, can just become a bit chore like and the denial starts to feel oppressive rather than fun.

I’m weird in that I tend to enjoy also the chore like bits. It’s not ideal if it feels oppressive for, say, weeks or months, but when it feels oppressive and like a chore, that’s also when I feel the most submissive. I don’t get any immediate gratification from doing it and I do it anyway… It pushes buttons for me.

Like I said, I wouldn’t be happy if it felt like a chore all the time or for long periods of time, but I do enjoy it when it feels like that sometimes.

 

[EvaLane]

Maybe I like it because he makes me more overtly sexual than I would otherwise be, and it enhances my feelings of being owned/controlled/desired by my D. My heightened arousal is because of him. For him. Which maybe gives me permission to be a little more slutty, and my arousal/sexuality feels like part of service rather than part of narcissism.

I am so thankful and relieved when I read your takes on so many related subjects, I just have to say thank you! This is brilliantly explained in a way I could never

 

[Cruelsmile5]

True, tho there is a point of diminishing returns. Edged too long without some level of intense feeling, can just become a bit chore like and the denial starts to feel oppressive rather than fun.

For me, having elements of pain connected to edging helps prevent that. And having the edging tasks be varied makes me have to pay attention. Knowing that he WILL give me enough to get that happy adrenaline and he will reward me with orgasm or other things but at an unknown time frame keeps the edge sharp... ya I guess pavalovian training and intermittent reward systems work on me.

The pavalovian principal 100% works. And YES! On varied edging and intermittent pain play-if she’s anticipating, wondering what edge he’ll give her, it doesn’t feel like a chore. If he tells her, use your vibe to get to the edge then stop, it gets old and uninteresting fast. For it to be hot, stay hot, you have to stimulate her mind as much, or even more than her body.

 

[1974_69]

My partner gets so annoyed when I edge her! If I deny her an orgasm, she switches off and it's game over. She uses a clit suction toy, a Hanx, and can keep herself on the edge to build a bigger orgasm easier. But when it hits, it hits hard! She cums through fucking with no clit play necessary, but if I pull out as her orgasm approaches, she is not a happy bunny! So edging is not for everyone I suppose.

 

[cascadiabound]

My partner gets so annoyed when I edge her! If I deny her an orgasm, she switches off and it's game over. She uses a clit suction toy, a Hanx, and can keep herself on the edge to build a bigger orgasm easier. But when it hits, it hits hard! She cums through fucking with no clit play necessary, but if I pull out as her orgasm approaches, she is not a happy bunny! So edging is not for everyone I suppose.

I'd call pulling out just as she's about to cum "ruin" rather than edging. That is very often a no go for women unless it's a dynamic that has been discussed desired by both.

 

[lil_jenni]

I'd call pulling out just as she's about to cum "ruin" rather than edging. That is very often a no go for women unless it's a dynamic that has been discussed desired by both.

Ruin is possible in that situation, but so is orgasm denial play. In the right mood, nothing makes me finally climax harder than repeated denial, that cycle of almost getting there then being denied and forced to calm down until Hubby decides to get me going again. It's so fucking frustrating, and I will beg and beg, but it's all so worth it when he finally lets me have the release I need. Also, it's probably his best BDSM skill (as he's not nearly as into most of it as I am). He is a master at alternating between licking and fingering and fucking (and occasionally toy use) to get me to the edge, and he knows just how long I can cool off without cooling off too much. It is such exquisite torture, and when he is into it like last weekend, so fucking wonderful.