Lit blog

[sandspike]

practical poetry and beach trips

Practical poetry has a nice ring to it. In the upcoming weeks I will
use my beach and age experiences for practical poetry. Today
I offer "George Thorogood and beer diets". A reminder to get in
shape before hitting the beach. It was written after riding 5 miles
and drinking supper. I'll try and sober up for the rest of the series.
Check George in the new poems today. Next I'll write about tough
feet and summer sands. I want your 2006 beach trips to be your best
so read up. sandspike

 

[Maria2394]

***************

 

[annaswirls]

This is one of the reasons I seek distraction, to not think about this future. I can only imagine how scared he was, how his mother is living our worst (one of the worst) nightmares:

Fayetteville
Harriet Vaughn Reports
Man shot in police shooting had mental disabilities

http://www.kfsm.com/global/story.asp?s=4605342

BENTON COUNTY - State police have identified the man shot by a state trooper along Highway 412 near Tontitown Tuesday morning as 21-year-old Erin Hamley. He was approached by officers because he matched the description of a Michigan prison escapee shot in another incident with officers later in the day.

A statement released by authorities says that officers had their weapons drawn as they approached Hamley, who was reported by a passing motorist. The officers, according to the statement, asked Hamley to raise both hands. The release then states, "Preliminary statements from the officers indicate the individual was not cooperating with the requests of the officers to show both of his hands as he laid on his back awaiting the approaching officers."

A trooper then fired a single shotgun blast at Hamley, who died a short time later at a Springdale hospital.

Rev. Jerry Meyes, the pastor of the Seventh Day Adventist Church in Springdale, knew Hamley and says the 21-year-old suffered from a mental disability and would not have understood what was happening to him.

According to Meyes, the man's mother reported her son missing to Springdale Police on Tuesday. The pastor said that Hamley enjoyed going for walks to get fresh air and he believes that is what he was doing when he was confronted by police.

The pastor also says that Hamley was a "fun-loving, harmless young man" who seemed younger than his years because he had a mental disability. Meyes says the man acted as if he were ten or eleven years old, and did not know he was 21 unless he was reminded of the fact.

The pastor told KFSM 5 NEWS that he prayed with the young man's mother this morning.

State authorities are continuing their investigation of the shooting.

KFSM 5 NEWS is following this story and will have additional updates as more information becomes available.

END

.............................

I guess it should be part of the special education curriculum to teach the kids how to raise their hands when approached by a police officer? I am not even kidding about this.

I know it is not a cut and dry situation...and I feel for officers who have to make such difficult judgements. I have already started training my kids how to talk to the police, and how not to... It all started when I was pulled over a few weeks ago and they got to see the sweetest, most compliant, passive woman in the world take over their mother's body......she did not even try to talk her way out of the ticket for letting her registration expire....

 

[annaswirls]

....having trouble writing again

um, girl?

you need to go read the passion thread, you are having NO trouble writing...
your writing is fucking awesome

I could use some of that trouble

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

I could use some of that trouble

I have some trouble you can have... it would start on your left knee ... ...

 

[annaswirls]

I have some trouble you can have... it would start on your left knee ... ...

I actually fell yesterday and bumped my knee, it could use some nice kiss and make it better...

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

I actually fell yesterday and bumped my knee, it could use some nice kiss and make it better...

one for the right
one for the left
& one behind each knee
in that spot that makes you
squirm in your skin

 

[Maria2394]

Today I should feel old...but I dont My first born turned 23 at 6:31 Am. I am so proud of that child. I tell her that, she says, oh Mama, youre such a dork. BUt she is such a little lady with so many quirks. Im glad of that tho. She has taught me that more matters on this earth than what I might want or feel I need at that very minute.

Sometimes I think back to when I was pregnant with her. She was an" accident" though not really..I was on the pill and she came anyway, she was meant to be. I didnt tell her dad until it was too late for him to wish her away, so I knew she was my kid...I wont be bitter today, nor hateful, we have all made mistakes. But amanda jean was not one o f them. 23 years old. I feel like crying at the thought of moving away, and she wont be going with us. neither will the younger one. college for her, and amanda is taking classes at her own pace at USC. I know she will eventually be a teacher, probably kindergarten or elementary school. she works in a day care at the federal bulding right now. sometimes she tells me about all the handsome soldeirs she sees on the elevator, how they flirt with her, and she says, oh, my mom would LOVE you guys!!


when she was born, we lived near the coast, actually about 20 minutes from the ocean and it snowed that day. I believe it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 2-3 inches. I told her she was so special she messed up the weather, the skies were so excited that she was born

She has a story published on Thieves Jargon, ( Queen of Snake City) and several poems and stories on spoiled ink. I just know that if she will ever apply herself, she will be published and very successful. I have told her she needs to see Anna's thread with all the awesome links, but she thinks this is my place and she would be infringing...I told her that was silly, that I am almost never here anymore, but she doesnt want to "compete" with me in any way at all, not that I would consider it competition, shes very sweet, she doesnt want to show me up

oh wow, this graduation stuff is gonna make us all starve to death tho. kristen so far has cost over a grand for grad pics and supplies, I dont remember it costing so much with amanda... oh well, its almost done then paying for college. I'm glad I have a good job to look forward to when we move at the end of May.


I saw Frog King again yesterday. He is so big now!! And the wisteria vines are blooming and one hangs over the pond. Soon the bumbles will come and I get to see frog king launch himself from the banks of his cement pond and gorge on them.

I wanted to dispell the kudzu myth some of the folks here on LIt have about the south. Not all the south is infested with the stuff. In fact, I cant even think of a place anywhere near me that has any kudzu. I think the eradication systems work pretty good, or else it just cant stand the South Carolina heat and gave up and moved to NC, lol.

Actually, wisteria is more of a parasite than the kudzu around here, It takes over everything and the smell is overwhelming. There are two colors, but the white is nowhere near as prolific as the purple. I can barely breathe around the stuff, but the creatures it attracts are too interesting to eradicate the vines from my property. I have plenty of seeds if anyone wants some, I will mail them to you

hope you all have a great day



birthday mama, maria


psss, anna, where did those long delicious legs disappear to?

 

[flyguy69]

I love the way you invite us into the kitchen, pour a cup of coffee and set out a plate of cookies with your posts, Maria!

After heading back outside I find myself talking to the frogs in my neighborhood, saying, "I know your king. Well, not personally, but a friend of mine does. So you can trust me."

Thanks for the hospitality.

Today I should feel old...but I dont My first born turned 23 at 6:31 Am. I am so proud of that child. I tell her that, she says, oh Mama, youre such a dork. BUt she is such a little lady with so many quirks. Im glad of that tho. She has taught me that more matters on this earth than what I might want or feel I need at that very minute.

Sometimes I think back to when I was pregnant with her. She was an" accident" though not really..I was on the pill and she came anyway, she was meant to be. I didnt tell her dad until it was too late for him to wish her away, so I knew she was my kid...I wont be bitter today, nor hateful, we have all made mistakes. But amanda jean was not one o f them. 23 years old. I feel like crying at the thought of moving away, and she wont be going with us. neither will the younger one. college for her, and amanda is taking classes at her own pace at USC. I know she will eventually be a teacher, probably kindergarten or elementary school. she works in a day care at the federal bulding right now. sometimes she tells me about all the handsome soldeirs she sees on the elevator, how they flirt with her, and she says, oh, my mom would LOVE you guys!!


when she was born, we lived near the coast, actually about 20 minutes from the ocean and it snowed that day. I believe it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 2-3 inches. I told her she was so special she messed up the weather, the skies were so excited that she was born

She has a story published on Thieves Jargon, ( Queen of Snake City) and several poems and stories on spoiled ink. I just know that if she will ever apply herself, she will be published and very successful. I have told her she needs to see Anna's thread with all the awesome links, but she thinks this is my place and she would be infringing...I told her that was silly, that I am almost never here anymore, but she doesnt want to "compete" with me in any way at all, not that I would consider it competition, shes very sweet, she doesnt want to show me up

oh wow, this graduation stuff is gonna make us all starve to death tho. kristen so far has cost over a grand for grad pics and supplies, I dont remember it costing so much with amanda... oh well, its almost done then paying for college. I'm glad I have a good job to look forward to when we move at the end of May.


I saw Frog King again yesterday. He is so big now!! And the wisteria vines are blooming and one hangs over the pond. Soon the bumbles will come and I get to see frog king launch himself from the banks of his cement pond and gorge on them.

I wanted to dispell the kudzu myth some of the folks here on LIt have about the south. Not all the south is infested with the stuff. In fact, I cant even think of a place anywhere near me that has any kudzu. I think the eradication systems work pretty good, or else it just cant stand the South Carolina heat and gave up and moved to NC, lol.

Actually, wisteria is more of a parasite than the kudzu around here, It takes over everything and the smell is overwhelming. There are two colors, but the white is nowhere near as prolific as the purple. I can barely breathe around the stuff, but the creatures it attracts are too interesting to eradicate the vines from my property. I have plenty of seeds if anyone wants some, I will mail them to you

hope you all have a great day



birthday mama, maria


psss, anna, where did those long delicious legs disappear to?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Greener Than Blue-Green Blues

When Miles Davis started using electricity in his concerts, the vigilantes of taste and crosswalks raised a clamour of revolt against the heresy. It was right about then that was announced the protection plan for the trees in my backyard. One day, a minister without cabinet and a sub-secretary of some culture came to tell us they had signed a protocol with nature, the roots and the clouds. And that they could now declare the start of Spring whenever they wanted. After that, vagrant cats started appearing, as well as some dead dogs early in the morning. One of those mornings, a red squirrel was passing by. I asked for the others, and he told me they had took up arms to restore the rights of the birds to sing the dead. Ever since they had started living in a fable, there were too much blood and corpses.

 

[Maria2394]

I love the way you invite us into the kitchen, pour a cup of coffee and set out a plate of cookies with your posts, Maria!

After heading back outside I find myself talking to the frogs in my neighborhood, saying, "I know your king. Well, not personally, but a friend of mine does. So you can trust me."

Thanks for the hospitality.

Flyguy, you are more than welcome, and I will tell you this, it boggles my mind that anyone cares about my silly stuff, its just existance to me

but thank you!! I love that it manages to entertain you xxoxoxo

and my cookies are your cookies anytime you want



~m

 

[flyguy69]

Flyguy, you are more than welcome, and I will tell you this, it boggles my mind that anyone cares about my silly stuff, its just existance to me

but thank you!! I love that it manages to entertain you xxoxoxo

and my cookies are your cookies anytime you want



~m

I like them hot from the oven

 

[annaswirls]

one for the right
one for the left
& one behind each knee
in that spot that makes you
squirm in your skin

hey, have you been reading my diary?

 

[annaswirls]

She has a story published on Thieves Jargon, ( Queen of Snake City) and several poems and stories on spoiled ink. I just know that if she will ever apply herself, she will be published and very successful. I have told her she needs to see Anna's thread with all the awesome links, but she thinks this is my place and she would be infringing...I told her that was silly, that I am almost never here anymore, but she doesnt want to "compete" with me in any way at all, not that I would consider it competition, shes very sweet, she doesnt want to show me up

That is awesome that she is out there getting published. Give me her email address and I will send them to her Did you give her the FUCK! magazine announcement? That would be so sweet, a mother-daughter team..... It is sweet that she is concerned with competing with you, I am lucky my mother and I have such different skills. I did not even flinch when my boy told me Grandmom's mashed potatoes are better than mine, but if he told me Grandmom's poetry was better than mine, I might write him out of the will

psss, anna, where did those long delicious legs disappear to?

they are under my jeans where they belong I don't know what gets into me sometimes showing my naughty bits in public! But I do like that you noticed them and Sabina kissed my knees, I have the lipstick traces to prove it.

 

[Tzara]

I wonder about thieves—about burglars. Why they take what they take.

When I was living in Hollywood, my apartment was broken into once every three months. Pretty much to the day. Fifth of March today, Petey. Gotta make the quarterly call on the Del Rio Apartments. Didn’t much seem to matter what kind of lock was on the door. Probably the manager was in on it.

What was strange was what they took. I was in graduate school then, which meant I was poor, so I didn’t have many things to interest a thief. But every time they broke in, they would take something odd and leave things you’d have thought they’d want. A tennis racket, after removing the cover. Guitar strings. Dictionary. Always left the stereo. I guess mine was too old and cheap.

Not just me, either. My brother had his place dusted and they walked off with his bowling ball. After taking it out of its carrying bag. They think it was less suspicious to be walking around holding a bowling ball than carrying it in a bag? Is it easier to fence without the bag? (How much do you get for a hot bowling ball anyway?)

Then there was my car. Wheels were stolen one night. Just the ones on the left hand side, front and rear. Maybe I’d scraped the curb too close with the right side ones and they didn’t meet their quality standards.

I understood it better when a few months later, someone boosted the entire car and chopped it for pieces. Wasn't happier, but was less puzzled.

It explains, anyway, why I always have extra dictionaries and guitar strings around. Tempt them with the tasty bait.

 

[Senna Jawa]

I wonder about thieves—about burglars. Why they take what they take.

What a great story, Tzara! Publish it!

 

[Maria2394]

That is awesome that she is out there getting published. Give me her email address and I will send them to her Did you give her the FUCK! magazine announcement? That would be so sweet, a mother-daughter team..... It is sweet that she is concerned with competing with you, I am lucky my mother and I have such different skills. I did not even flinch when my boy told me Grandmom's mashed potatoes are better than mine, but if he told me Grandmom's poetry was better than mine, I might write him out of the will



they are under my jeans where they belong I don't know what gets into me sometimes showing my naughty bits in public! But I do like that you noticed them and Sabina kissed my knees, I have the lipstick traces to prove it.

Nah, I didnt giveher that link...yet but I will. I took her and her BF and my younger to the Olive Garden for dinner tonight. And...the kid just had to have alcohol, and demanded that the poor servers in the place sing Happy B'day to her with all that clapping and stuff... lol, its okay, we had fun...but on the way home,

Kris and I were in my car, happily bopping down the interstate at 72 MPH and I notice a state trooper in the emergency lane, no lights, lying in wait...well, what do you think happened? I MUST have a sign that says, sexy troopers, please pull me, because he followed me 4 miles, got off my exit behind me and pulled me... I was barely speeding, never had a ticket in my life and there was my kid, saying, OMG< mama, what did you DO??? He had the choice of pulling a truck and trailer with no tail lights or an 18 wheeler that passed me doing at least 85... why me? I always wonder...

he said I had a lighting violation, no tag light, I said, wow, I didnt know I ever had one Sir, but I will fix that tomorrow..then, he reached over to my shoulder and adjusted my seat belt for me, called me Julie and told me to have a lovely evening after which he gave me a cute lil blue warning ticket..bless his heart, I was so nervous....ahhhh, now I need a valium and I have none, so much the better

anyway...

Anna, dont worry about showing your parts, we all do it eventually, okay, not all of us,( I havent seen angelines yet, hint hint, I bet she has super hot legs..., and legs as sexy as yours should be shown, its just icing on top your precious poetry cake...I never thought I woudl, but I did and I will do it again just because no one IM'ed me and told me I was a dog, lol


well, in fact, most of the femmes on this site ought to be requred to be nekkid, so many pretty women here, makes me question my orientation sometimes, well, until I see flys av's then, I just sigh and take a long warm bath

love ya sweet friend


~maria


** she walked in as I was posting this and read over my shoulder, smiled and said, I would probably kick your poetry butt, mama..but I love you too much.

she has a load of self esteem and I am extra proud that she loves herself without hurting other people to do it...she just teases me.. she also says that she comes in here and reads the links, just hadnt told me before and I gave her the submission calls thread link a while back.

Thank you, Anna... and I wonder just how many people have gotten "out there" because you helped them? pat yourself on the back and hug you ---from me..

pss, when I sent my bio in for the anthology, I included mannequin envy as a credit, so you would have another one in print as advertising for your magazine.

 

[annaswirls]

Hey, I think we did see Angeline's sexy legs, remember the bikini shot? Maybe when it warms up in Maine, she will put it back up again.

I put them back up to fulfill my nekkid part requirement. Now where is that boobie?

 

[Maria2394]

**********

 

[Tzara]

There is something about flying that makes me sleepy. Selectively sleepy.

Close the door and pressurize the cabin? My eyelids slam down like grates over storefronts in Manhattan and I conk for thirty minutes. Then tick tick tick... ding! pert near exactly thirty minutes later I snap awake.

Snap. Damn near come out of the seat.

Same thing at landing. Doesn't matter how long the flight was. Fifty minutes. Seven hours. Thirty minutes to touchdown and the storefronts close up again. I am O-U-T. Squeak, squeak! the plane's tires scuff the strip and I'm a wide awake puppy once again.

So, like, what the fuck?! What's going on here?

I'd love to say it's the cabin pressurization. I am, ah, advanced in years. Dad has had heart trouble and I am my father's son, so it could just be less oxygen and gloppy arteries.

But then why ain't it the whole flight?

My own guess is this is psychology. (I did major in psych. Gotta recoup the old man's investment.) Takeoffs. Landings. Most dangerous times. Brain sez, Ping me when it's over. I'm gonna replay some dreamy old porn movies.

And so I drift.

I think.

 

[wildsweetone]

streaming...

okay, so it's 6.50am on Thursday morning, I'm sitting on a typists chair that for some strange reason has decided to drop lower without warning every now and again, the fridge needs defrosting because it's old and someone left food leaning up against the back of it and now the bottom is filled with water and there's a puddle on the tiles in front of it (well, there was until I mopped it up after wading through it to get to my morning cuppa), I'm still job hunting but there's nothing that's part time and within five minutes drive of home (maybe I'm being a little picky there), I have to dream up something for dinner as the meat needs taking out from the freezer, and the ants and crickets have yet to begin their crazy paving journey over the back fence.

I have this window next to me and yesterday I must have spent hours just sitting watching the ants move home. Every now and again there would be a white egg come into view, just for a moment, before being smothered in black ant again. Those ants were moving so fast in the heat that I swear it was to help keep their eggs raw. The crickets seem to stand there in amazement as they watch the ants scurring around and the skinks, well I swear I just can't figure them out. I found one yesterday, in the ficus outside the front door. Dead as a doornail it was, how on earth it had died in the pot plant on top of the soil I'll never know. I mean it wasn't until the plant had dried out and its soil had pulled away from the edge of the pot that I watered it, so the skink can't have drowned.

I have to phone the courier company again today, they still haven't collected the wired network thing that was sent incorrectly. I had hoped the wireless networking connection would be great and have no hassles (yeah right) but it seems it doesn't want to hold the connection for 24 hours a day like the old wired one did. I'll probably have to phone the manufacturer and get a technician to tell me how to tweak the settings more. It's getting to the point where I know more about how these computers work than the technicians I phone. Maybe that's the area I should look in for my new job. Maybe not.

I took the camera to the hockey grounds yesterday. There are some awesome trees in the park and I wandered around like a tourist letting the camera take pics of anything and everything. I need to get a memory stick for it. It's so easy to take shot after shot after shot and always I run out of room when I need to take just one more. It was late afternoon and sun rays stretched out from behind some cumulus clouds, reached across the sky and fingered the tops of the macrocarpa trees. It would have made a stunning shot but it's yet another that gets relegated to my memory banks. Maybe there's a haiku in it.

It's an odd time of life, teens growing and moving on wanting more than they're able to have, wanting that freedom but not having any idea what that freedom will cost and not caring anyway. They see their mates, all older, driving off to jobs, to play, to sleep the days away, and they want it too. They're just not quite ready to step off the edge of the cliff and grab it. The transition time is not always easy, I can see it and watch it unfold. I don't always understand it because they do things that seem so off the wall to me. So whacky and dangerous. How do they get these ideas that they are indestructable when their mates are dying around them? How do they live knowing they are left behind? Quarter of them are going to be dead before they reach 25. You think they'd wake up and smell the stupid stuff for what it is, but they're just not ready to yet. There's a little more experimenting to do, a little more boundary pushing, a little more urging from the blatant dare devils that they look up to. Hopefully the teens I know will have some deep set learnings that will eventually front up and keep them safe. Hopefully.

They're not out there yet, the ants, crickets and skinks. I think they're waiting for the sun to warm up the wood, or maybe they just all decided to sleep in this morning and let the birds break the day. I'm waiting to hear the thrush again. She turns up now and again and helps herself to snails on the back path. I don't know if snails feel pain but I know I feel pain when I hear and see her bashing them to bits on the path so she can slurp their bodies into her tummy. It's fascinating. And gross. Just a little part of how the world keeps turning around.

7.23am

 

[Maria2394]

weekend conjugal visit....

*********

 

[polarized]

I have spent the last two days reading, still reading the seemingly never ending posts. How one can be touched with just the blog started within this thread, how I realize my Grammar, grasping for words can seem so futile in comparison, none the less I find myself fully engrossed loving the beautiful stories, poems the everyday life, how it all unfolds.

The Kind words, warm felt between friends, I almost feel as if I am intruding upon your world. Hovering over, hanging onto each word, waiting for that new post, who will reply first, what comes next how I can't wait to read some more.

I hope with time and a lot of practice I can write as well as you all do

Thank you all so very much!

I am loving it here

Slipping back into my voyeuristic ways

 

[Senna Jawa]

The Woodlands, Texas (1)

I have stopped being a regular solid citizen, meaning someone working a steady job for a steady company, in 1985. Since then I'd do well or poorly, and would never have much of any security. Actually, I don't feel that I ever had. I simply do not belong anywhere.

Thus during the first months of 1991 I was without any job again, which did not feel good. I lived in California at the time. Then a friend of my brother made a contact for me at his company. Let me call this friend BMW. After all he was a VP. He had imposed me on a Director, who was about to be a VP himself--the two were independent peers. Actually, Director was leading a large team, which was the bulk of the company (or rather of the local research division, which was a part of a huge company located elsewhere).

OK, Director invited me for an interview. BTW, when I go for an interview I am paid well. Director was very good technically. He posed three problems, I solved two of them off hand, and I was asked to work on the important for them, fundamental third problem, as a consultant.

Nice. I went to Europe, to Sweden, to my best friend. He's my childhood friend. His whole family is dear to me. I had wonderful time. We even went to Poland, for our class reunion, 33 years after graduation. One of the classmates, who is a world elite documentary film director, made a movie about this reunion, "Seven Jews from my class". I was a bit disappointed that he chose this and not another topic. He tried, but there was only so much time, and he made his decision. I was hoping for something like "the meaning of life". Too bad. My class was quite unusual, had exceptionally high IQ, and several of my classmates went on after the school to have interesting or even exciting life. Going back to the movie, I was told by people over years that they have seen me on tv; also friends at work (in The Woodlands), after I showed them the movie, said that I look like a sex star!

In additon to having fun, I also worked on the project, that was fun too. After I came back to the States, late in the summer, I got invited to The Woodlands again and had presented my approach. Director, who became a VP, and I will call him from now on MVP ("My Vice-President"), liked my work and offered me cooperation. "Am I going to be on retainer?" -- "No", he said, "I want you full time".

I didn't have any job at the time, but I still asked for the right kind of money. MVP didn't blink, while BMW was later surprised. Indeed, I didn't know it at the time but I got the second highest salary in The Woodlands division, only President himself was making more. To be precise, VPs had many perks, and a stable contract, while I was directly working not for the company but for an intermediate agency (I forgot the name for this kind of an arrangement). This way I had no security, no insurance, no vacations. MVP made also a rule that I cannot work overtime, except that I was allowed to work during various holidays, for a total 40h per week.

How did I know about the position of my salary at the top of the company? Everybody knew!!! The MVP's secretary told everybody left and right. She even exaggerated! Thus I was teased by some employees, and it was uncomfortable. (According to the common perception, it's ok for managerial and BullShit types to make $$, but not for a technical specialist).

At the time of hiring I also made three conditions, and they were accepted: I wanted to have security for at least half a year; I was to answer directly to MVP only, and not to any manager; I was to get a nice office with a window.

And that's how it worked. So I got myself an apartment. First nights I slept on the floor, had nothing there. I am used to sleeping on the floor. I did it for months and years. I know that later I did have a small bed there, because each time I had guests, they would use my bed and I would move to the living room, onto the floor.

For months I didn't have a car. I jogged to work and back. Later BMW would give me his old bike. You should know how it rains there. I was totally soaked many times.

There were three apartment complexes not too far from the company. But the cheapest was somewhat far. Also, they allowed pets, and sidewalks were clearly dirty . If it were not for the distance I would choose it anyway. As it was I have chosen the middle one, which was also the middle priced. If I had to do it again, I'd choose that one away for the social life. In my experience only the cheapest apartment complexes have any social life in the States. The moment the complex is a bit cleaner and nicer, the social life is reduced to occasional "hello", and that's all.

At first the MVP's team was located on one of the middle floors of a tall building. The first floor was occupied by a bank.

When people walked on the corridors I was telling everybody that there is an earthquake. That's what I was sure of, after living through a season of quakes in California, including the big one, 7.1, just a year earlier.

From outside the building was all glass. Huge black crows were attacking their own mirror image all the time with a loud, sickening sound.

***

That's the beginning of the "The Woodlands" chapter in my life. One day I am without a job. Next day I am fine. There is an insert. First days of my work were in California. I was asked to go the NeXT school/course right where I was at the time, in the Silicon Valley. I still had several days before its start, so I was planning on renting a NeXT station and to learn it. It was impossible to rent one! I had asked everywhere. That was a bad sign. My new company was basing its all research and software and development on those NeXT station, and here I am encountering such a silly problem.

The NeXT school was useless to me. It was for people who already had played with NeXT. Each student had a NeXT station to her/himself but the course was not able to truly take advantage of such a wonderful arrangement. On the side I learned about postscript language, because there were copies of a great postscript manual spread around ande even stacked in tall stacks. All other NeXT manuals, glossy and shiny as they were, in my opinions were horrible as tutorials. The postscript manual, which was not from the standard glossy NeXTseries, was exceptionally good, and to this day I am sorry that I have not stolen one of the many copies around there--after all, my company paid big buck for this course. Instead, I asked the instructor for a copy and I was refused.

The whole thing was making me sick. The instructor was praising "Steve" (Steve Jobs) non-stop, like his life depended on it (perhaps it did). "Steve this..." and "Steve, oh-ah, that...". The sugar was dropping from the instructor's mouth. Ugh!

I wish, I would spend that time better.

Ok, now I will go back to The Woodlands in the next installment of these reminiscences.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Re: The Woodlands, Texas (1)

I have stopped being a regular solid citizen, meaning someone working a steady job for a steady company, in 1985.

I have mentioned life security. When I was leaving Poland, in 1969, we (my wife, now ex, and I and others) were under the impression that the universities in the States were still booming (in a reaction to the Soviet sputnik). But it was already a crisis time at academia. I got three contracts anyway, one of them a lucrative, 3 year associateship. My ex and I were not practical (looking back one could even say--irresponsible) and I chose a 1-year visiting position in Ann Arbor. I didn't really understand what "visiting" meant, that it meant 1 year and that's it. A few months later I did learn what it meant, thus I had to hassle a bit, I got two associateship contracts elsewhere, one of them with tenure (read "life long security"), but in the meantime I got somehow an extension of my much less paying position in Ann Arbor extended, and once more we decided to stick with Ann Arbor. This time it was a 3-year contract. After 2 years they considered me for promotion and tenure, and I narrowly missed it (I was in a good company of some outstanding young mathematicians who were let go too). I had one more year to go in Ann Arbor, but I didn't feel like staying there and went to Austin, Texas, again for a visiting position. That's another story (I could ask Austin at least for associateship, since I had 1 year in Ann Arbor if I wanted). To make it short, I'll skip it. One more time I got an associate offer from a place but this time we chose the Princeton Institute for Advance Studies. A great honor and virtually no money--it was even called "a partial support", and Ed Formanek joked that for a good reason, since so little money cannot be called full support even when it is all one gets. The membership at the Institute was again a 1 year affair. I got another contract in the last moment, just before the deadline for leaving our apartment--the new members were already arriving to the Institute. Our youngest, a daughter, was born just before that. And so we left, with our four children, for Southern Illinois, where I were to hold my lowest position ever in the States--instead of a promotion after being at the Institute I was something like demoted. At the Institute I got a vague promise of a beautiful contract from Brazil. And I actually got it a few months later. Full Professorship, very light teaching load, for three years, extendable, great money... I was supposed to show in Rio in March. I informed my department about that I will leave. So, they relieved me completely from teaching (I had there a huge load), so that I can work on research with some of them. However, Brazil asked me to send them all kind of papers, they had their famous carnival, I had to get my fingerprints at police... In short, nothing finally happened.

Later a friend of mine was in a somewhat similar situation, except that it was him who was delaying his visit to Brazil. They paid him anyway! And they kept begging him to come and teach and to justify their expense. Finally he did. When he came back he was driving his car like a maniac. "Over there, at the red light"--he said--"you are allowed to stop". So, he was teaching for a semester or for a year, and got money for three years. That's how bureaucracy works.

Hearing his story I was thinking why mine was so different. I am guessing that it was my birth place, USSR, which made the difference (my friend was from Greece). That's why they were checking me and with their bureaucracy they were not able to accomplish their task. Can I claim to be a victim of communism? Of anti-communism?

Thus instead of Brazil I went to London (Ontario), where I won their international contest for a full professor position with tenure. It was a crazy place at the time. The tricky head of the department used his enemies at the department as a pretext to cut my contract down to a 1-year visiting associateship, with less money too. How ironic--the head's enemies assumed that he was supporting me fully, so they claimed that I was nothing; this way they helped the department head to keep me at a lesser position. I had lost on all three accounts: the level of the position, the security, and the money. For no good reason whatsoever. And I didn't protest. Strange. Crazy. Incredible. Thus I was again in a competition for the position there for the next academic year. I didn't have any respite. Familiarity breeds contempt. Thus this time it was even harder to survive again but I did, got a 3-year associateship, and two years later I was promoted to the full professor with tenure. However, I kept my family in Michigan. Because of the faulty start I didn't feel like staying in London. As the result, I left my security (tenure), and started to work for the industry. That was at the end of summer of 1978.

I said earlier that I stopped being a solid citizen in 1985, but as you can see, there was nothing stable about my academic years in NA. Somehow, poems say such things better -- Storm breath.

***

I've spent 13 years in the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti area, and 12 years in Silicon Valley--the two places in the States which I enjoy the least. Wandering around the continent however was not easy either--digressing.

Not all was so bad in California, far from it, and I have a sentiment for each place where I lived anyway, as recorded by some of my Texan poems about Silicon Valley, e.g. bachelor life and this one:

* * *​

during California winters
the light felt at home in the fog
hanging above the swimming pools

felt at home like eyes
behind my quiet eyelids
like smiling eyes behind my eyelids
your eyes



​

H.Texas
1992-04-30/05-01



***

I should really continue The Woodlands saga instead of adding extras or else I will never finish it (perhaps I will not ).