Lit blog

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

Did ya miss me?


Man, my head has been spining for about two weeks now...Spring, it's a constant state of flux in the spring...every thing is in upheaval. I think I'm the only person I know that does not like the spring.
I've been doing some self medicating lately...maybe a little too much but it seemed necessary, it might be time to let my head clear a bit. The fog has been good and dulled the edges that seemed too raw at the time...
I had to focus on other things meditate if you will, I had to make it real for my brain...I had to breathe it, smell it, taste and feel it...I had to let it consume me and take all of my focus. Now, it all seems surreal...like the calm after the storm when the sun comes out and your still not too sure if the darkness is going to return. I still don't feel like I am out of the woods yet. I still feel on guard.


The almond tree is almost done blooming but the plum is coming on full...it always looks like a white pillow from here...I'm going to go down and bury my nose in it's blooms and let it’s fragrant haze swallow me.

 

[annaswirls]

with paint on my fingers I record these words
paint over the scuffs and stains and dust
erase the signs and traces
"we lived"

we lived.
here

I am off to hold my baby brother in my arms.
To tell him no matter how much they can pour on us
never never never will he be erased.
I will not allow it.

be back soon

 

[fire child]

I got a seventy three on the ASVAB.

*looks sheepish*

I guess studying paid off.
Going to play video games and get hammered.
*throws kisses*

 

[The Mystery Valiant]

workin' and watchin'

Yeah, I just finished a hard day chamfering Checkers Springs and I hurt all over. As I walked home from work, I had just gotten to the street up front when a small little rain storm came down on me. I thought to myself, 'Ah geez, not now!' As I walked to 120th & Washington, was crossing the street and urging the car's turning to on ahead, when out of nowhere..., it starts snowing!?!? And it didn't even last a half a block.

I came home and caught a little nap and got up in time to watch "American Idol" and my favorite singer came up first, Chris. As this week it was guest star ROD STEWART, and they were doing old american classic songs. Chris picked "It's a Wonderful World" and as soft and sweet as it was..., he matched it and did a fantastic job!

Now I'm finishing the end of "Nashville Star". What a nice weekday. Makes my pain go away.

 

[annaswirls]

he is going to be okay
he is going to be okay

 

[Maria2394]

he is going to be okay
he is going to be okay

hugs

and

 

[Maria2394]

my daughter figured out why my "demons" left me. This is so funny is made me nearly pee myself.

About 10 years ago, I discovered I had a heart condition that causes high blood pressure and an extreme rapd heart beat so I take atenolol for this. Lots of people have the condition, its something to do wth the sinus of my heart and the elctrical impulses itreceives from my brain.
My doc told me to take it easy on the caffeine which I did for about 2 years then lapsed to myold tea drinking ways.

About 2 weeks ago, I had an attack, ( it causes panic attacks) it scared me, so I went back to decaf...THATS when the racing in my head stopped.

Thank goodness for a kid that has more sense than I do, here I was looking for some sinister reason why I wasnt always thinking thinking thiniking ( ya get the idea?)

anyway, Ia m relieved..

oh, and I talked to hubby last night, he is 35 miles from Baltimore...says I can come visit when school is out.....Anna, will you be moved by then? lemme know, okay? maybe I can come help you pack, or just watch the kids for you while you do it

 

[Tzara]

Although it is the weekend, I woke up quite early today—around 6 AM. Ate breakfast, read the paper, and then as often happens on weekends, got sleepy again and took a nap.

M. and I went for a long walk in the late morning, along some streets we hadn't walked down before. Looked at houses and gardens, checked out what the for-sale homes are selling for (a lot), admired the finally fading cherry trees. The dogwoods are not quite yet in bloom.

Poked around in a used bookstore for a bit and bought two remaindered poetry books, one by C. K. Williams and one by Charles Wright. M. bought a cookbook that featured recipes using sun-dried tomatoes and a travel book. Like we need more books—our house already looks like a bookstore, or a library. Fortunately, it's a shared addiction.

Picked up bagels for lunch on the way back. Worked in the yard in the afternoon. Lovely day.

 

[Tzara]

I love books. My wife loves books. We own a lot of books.

Not everyone who loves books does. My sister-in-law loves books, but she was trained as a librarian and actually owns relatively few. She borrows most of the ones she reads from the library. Which makes sense, I guess.

Similarly, our friend S. works in a bookstore. Reads tons of books. Doesn't buy that many, though. She's more focused on getting her customers to. Buy. Lots.

I have always wanted to own books. Basically, to have my own library. Wanted to be able to yank anything from Frazier's Golden Bough to Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns off my own shelves if I somehow got a hankering to read just that book at 12:15 AM on a Sunday. Suetonius. Shakespeare. The Boy Scout Handbook. When I want to read it, I want to read it now.

The problem is, besides the fact that books cost money—and I don't want to tell you how much we annually spend on them—is that they take up a lot of room. A lot of room. Like your whole house, if you have enough. And we have more than enough.

You can only put so many bookshelves in a house. Then they end up stacked sideways on any available surface, shoved under the bed, piled in the basement on the summer furniture. It's a mess.

S'why I'm lucky. Half of ours are hers. It's not just my fault.

 

[Willows_Tears]

books books books

I have this exact problem. If it is a problem, that is.... with books. My problem is with children's books, I cannot control myself. I can spend $100 bucks no problem at the book fair.

My husband is the worst though. He honestly, has 3 books on C++ alone, all brand new (of course) and all in a row. I mean, really, how many intro books does one need? Is there that much variation?

I cannot help myself, I sit there and scan a bookshelf and add up the money, 20, 50, 80, 150, 175, 200.... a thousand dollars per shelf. Maybe if I did that it would help us to control our spending. Put reciepts per shelf. Put photos of other things that we want that cost that much money. I know there is a new car in his office. There are replacement windows in his chess collection. My poetry collection? Probably a dozen back massages. Not quite a year of college in children's books, but...well.... hmm. Maybe enough for the textbooks and beer money.

This is a source of struggle for us, ever since we have been married. I have boxes upstairs in the attic filled. I love books but I do not want my entire house wall to wall books, you know? My dream is to have an entire room, a BIG room, just for books, so I have room for other things. Pictures of the children, for instance.

I satisfy my need to buy books by buying everyone I know birthday present books. It helps. A little. For the kids I buy books with a stuffed animal that matches. I found a GREAT book about a duckbill platypus and the coolest stuffed animal ever made.

I wonder if there is a name for this compulsion?

 

[Tzara]

I wonder if there is a name for this compulsion?

If it's completely out of control, it's called bibliomania. I don't have it that bad.

I don't, really.

Welcome, Willow!

 

[Willows_Tears]

thank you for the welcome and the definition! I will send my husband the link! I hope to be able to find more time to spend here soon.

 

[flyguy69]

If it's completely out of control, it's called bibliomania. I don't have it that bad.

I don't, really.

Welcome, Willow!

from wikipedia: ...bibliomania is characterized by the collecting of books which have no use to the collector nor any great instrinsic value to a genuine book collector.

Well, I guess I'm in.

 

[Tzara]

I am taking a course in writing poetry from a major (USA) university. By "Distance Learning," which is kind of the 21st century equivalent of "correspondence course." I read stuff, I write stuff, I send it in. Somebody reads it, writes some comments, sends it back. Not a very involved process.

My reader, who is probably an MA or MFA student, seems like a nice person. She leaves smiley faces on my text as part of her commentary and encourages me with comments like "I like this!" or "Well phrased." This is flattering but not helpful. Even when she dares make a real comment, something like "I think there may be too many 's' sounds in this sequence," its effect is deadened by her studied neutrality. I end up kind of longing for her to say THIS IS CRAP!

It would be refreshing.

 

[Willows_Tears]

from wikipedia: ...bibliomania is characterized by the collecting of books which have no use to the collector nor any great instrinsic value to a genuine book collector.

Well, I guess I'm in.

should we start a support group?

 

[Guest]

should we start a support group?

Book-ends?

 

[The Mystery Valiant]

Nah!

Book-ends?

More like Biblio-Techs! Lols!

 

[Willows_Tears]

Book-ends?

ooh can I be in the middle?

 

[DeepAsleep]

Fourteen hour days, trying to squeeze a life out of what's left between sleeping and eating.

it's not being tired, it's being disconnected. I have no idea what's going on.

Enh. sleep.

~D.A.

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

Fourteen hour days, trying to squeeze a life out of what's left between sleeping and eating.

it's not being tired, it's being disconnected. I have no idea what's going on.

Enh. sleep.

~D.A.

I know this feeling well right now. My routine looks something like this:

work....eat.....work.....sleep.....wake....coffeeeeee......work....I need a nap...work.

I've already gotten my summer color...during the season I have this tan line right on the small of my back, just a strip of brown color below my shirt and above my shorts. The hair on my head is already turning lighter and the peach fuzz on my arms is bleaching out to platinum white.

This weekend is the last weekend Baker is open...I am headed up to have some fun and say goodbye to the mountain for another season. I guess it had to come...my heart longs for next year already, by August I will be in full dementia consumed by dreams of snow...



ps. I've missed you Ross

 

[DeepAsleep]

I know this feeling well right now. My routine looks something like this:

work....eat.....work.....sleep.....wake....coffeeeeee......work....I need a nap...work.

I've already gotten my summer color...during the season I have this tan line right on the small of my back, just a strip of brown color below my shirt and above my shorts. The hair on my head is already turning lighter and the peach fuzz on my arms is bleaching out to platinum white.

This weekend is the last weekend Baker is open...I am headed up to have some fun and say goodbye to the mountain for another season. I guess it had to come...my heart longs for next year already, by August I will be in full dementia consumed by dreams of snow...



ps. I've missed you Ross

I wondered how your landscaping was going and if you'd shredded any shreddables.

I'm sometimes here.

~R

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

I wondered how your landscaping was going and if you'd shredded any shreddables.

I'm sometimes here.

~R

It's busy...it's always busy this time of year but going well I must say. I just got a new job from some people that recognized my work and liked it. Each new landscape I try to make a little different so it does not become too mainstream.
How have things been going for you?


ps. Maria, if you wanna job come on over...I need some help.

 

[DeepAsleep]

It's busy...it's always busy this time of year but going well I must say. I just got a new job from some people that recognized my work and liked it. Each new landscape I try to make a little different so it does not become too mainstream.
How have things been going for you?


ps. Maria, if you wanna job come on over...I need some help.

I don't know. If I could get two weeks of peace, with nothing blindsiding me, I'd be a happier man. Need a change of scene, pretty bad, but there's a lot to accomplish before I can do that. I'm in blackjack school at a worldwide casino, and you can transfer within the company to pretty much anywhere they've got property, so.. a few months there and I can move, if I've got the capital and the desire. I'm anxious to find out if I pass - I've got a good memory and I talk pretty smooth, but there are other details that might hold me back from getting a gambling license. We'll see.

Other than that, I got a fulltime job at TD Ameritrade - the pay could be better, but it'll jump up two bucks an hour in a couple months, after I'm settled in and whatnot.

Naptime.

~R

 

[flyguy69]

I don't know. If I could get two weeks of peace, with nothing blindsiding me, I'd be a happier man. Need a change of scene, pretty bad, but there's a lot to accomplish before I can do that. I'm in blackjack school at a worldwide casino, and you can transfer within the company to pretty much anywhere they've got property, so.. a few months there and I can move, if I've got the capital and the desire. I'm anxious to find out if I pass - I've got a good memory and I talk pretty smooth, but there are other details that might hold me back from getting a gambling license. We'll see.

Other than that, I got a fulltime job at TD Ameritrade - the pay could be better, but it'll jump up two bucks an hour in a couple months, after I'm settled in and whatnot.

Naptime.

~R

That was you that recommended Sonic Foundry at $12/share? Thats ok. I'll retire when i 'm dead.

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

I don't know. If I could get two weeks of peace, with nothing blindsiding me, I'd be a happier man. Need a change of scene, pretty bad, but there's a lot to accomplish before I can do that. I'm in blackjack school at a worldwide casino, and you can transfer within the company to pretty much anywhere they've got property, so.. a few months there and I can move, if I've got the capital and the desire. I'm anxious to find out if I pass - I've got a good memory and I talk pretty smooth, but there are other details that might hold me back from getting a gambling license. We'll see.

Other than that, I got a fulltime job at TD Ameritrade - the pay could be better, but it'll jump up two bucks an hour in a couple months, after I'm settled in and whatnot.

Naptime.

~R

you should come on over to the west for awhile...might do you some good baby