Lit blog

[RhymeFairy]

My friends here--and I include eagleyez because I met him here--are what got me through the past few years. My mother is very old and in reletively good health but in assisted living. My children are living with their dad and everyone else in my family is dead. The few friends I had--of very long standing--sided with my ex when I left because they thought I was wrong to leave the kids. I didn't have any choice. The ex and I had got to the point where we couldn't get through a day without screaming at each other, either that or not talking, and you can imagine how good *that* was for my kids. And mind you they were both teenagers already. I couldn't uproot them from their home, their school, their friends, their grandparents and bring them to a place they had visited once. It was an impossible situation. And frankly I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to be with ee of course but we had hoped he could move to Philly. I couldn't make that happen without a family to help me through it all, so I came to Maine. Like fled. That is the best word for it. And eagleyez god bless him opened his heart and his home and his life to me and here we are.

I've cried on so many shoulders here, I should buy about 20 of you stock in Kleenex. With any luck, tomorrow I can have my name back and start to put all the painful memories behind me.

You'll make it. Good luck tomorrow and know we are all here rooting for you. No worries with judgment, people never really understand unless they've walked the same street. Hugs and much love ...






~H

 

[Tzara]

Today I just passed through another of those stages on life's way. It was not the Kierkegaardian experience that one might hope for, however. I just went to lunch.

Yeah, OK. Fast food. I was in a hurry, dammit. Got some sixteen-year-old clerk. Acne. Greasy shirt.

I gave him my order.

KID: Is this for here or to go?

ME: For here.

KID: Do you want to super size that?

ME: No.

KID: Are you over fifty?

ME: What?

KID: Are you over fifty—you get a discount.

ME: (Confused) Yes.

KID: (Loudly) You're over fifty?

ME: Yes. God. I'm over fifty.

KID: Well, you save ten percent!

ME: Great.​

Forget the effing AARP cards I've been getting in the mail for years. This was the transitional event. It's kind of like the other side of not getting carded anymore—the first time you get a "senior discount," unasked for.

I'm now officially old. Feel free to ask me for advice. I'm feeling fatherly, if not quite grandfatherly. Wise beyond my years. Homilies are simply tripping off my tongue.

Try me! I'm feeling simply homilicious right now.

Or grouchy. I'm not sure which.

 

[bogusbrig]

LOL Tzara. You reminded me of when I went to the supermarket and they had changed all the stock round for the umpteenth time. After searching for some time, I went up to one of the child slaves stacking the shelves and asked where the eggs where now. He pointed two allies over. I thanked him and muttered under my breath, it's about time they left bloody things where they are. The child slave said, 'The world can't stop for those too old to keep up.' I gave him the evil eye, he gave me a shrug and a smirk as if to say 'I'm right, aren't I?'

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

my fingers are a little rusty but here's the run down on life...

My houseplants are all almost dead, my property has not been mowed in a month and a half, my bills are almost all a month behind and I could not care less. I bought a boat, a nice big power boat...24 ft. to be exact. I found something in the liquid that rang true, it reminds me of the snow, gliding across the surface finding the path. Wakeboarding is just what I needed in this god forsaken part of the year...if I can't have the snow, bring me the water.

I've missed you guys, I was pleased to see so many of you still around...

 

[LeBroz]

.
.

Of course, if my divorce is final tomorrow after the hearing--and it might be--we can start making plans to move. Maybe I should think about finding work in Asheville. If we continue to live as frugally as we have--and we've gotten so good at it--I may not have to work at all. But everything hangs on the outcome of tomorrow. I just want it to be over. I really don't want to be told I have to wait another 60 days, 90 days. Even so, I'm trying to adjust my mind to the notion that we'll probably have to stay here through one more winter. Disappointing, but true.

So we've been sitting here with bated breath, waiting to hear if there's good news for you. Tell us, we've been hoping for good news, so...

.
.

 

[ghost_girl]

..................

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

An aside - It's great to have Sabina back in the fermata. Welcome back.

My face feels as if an elephant danced the Charleston on it. After three hours of holding my mouth open for a tricky root canal it stuck and I couldn't close it. We had to manually push my jaws together. Today dentures are looking more and more the attractive alternate to the kind of agony I went through. The copious Novocain didn’t help my jaw muscles that had to strain against the downward thrusting drill. I tried all kinds of meditation interrupted only by the revolting “new wave” music he insists on piping in but nothing helped. The dentist and his assistant acted like cheer-leaders minus the leaping about, trying to boost my morale which only made me want to grind my teeth, which I couldn’t do, of course.
All this in spite of meticulous dental hygiene, brushing after meals plus fanatical flossing. I’m off to break open another bottle of Aspirin, perhaps a bottle of Scotch would be better

 

[Angeline]

.
.



So we've been sitting here with bated breath, waiting to hear if there's good news for you. Tell us, we've been hoping for good news, so...

.
.

It didn't happen yesterday. Sigh. I have to go back to court in October for the final hearing and then there's a 21-day state mandated appeal period. So November 2 will be it. I was pretty depressed yesterday, but I guess I've waited this long I can make it for another two months.

I just tell myself that it's good for poetry.

 

[Guest]

.............

 

[Tzara]

An aside - It's great to have Sabina back in the fermata. Welcome back.

My face feels as if an elephant danced the Charleston on it. After three hours of holding my mouth open for a tricky root canal it stuck and I couldn't close it. We had to manually push my jaws together. Today dentures are looking more and more the attractive alternate to the kind of agony I went through. The copious Novocain didn’t help my jaw muscles that had to strain against the downward thrusting drill. I tried all kinds of meditation interrupted only by the revolting “new wave” music he insists on piping in but nothing helped. The dentist and his assistant acted like cheer-leaders minus the leaping about, trying to boost my morale which only made me want to grind my teeth, which I couldn’t do, of course.
All this in spite of meticulous dental hygiene, brushing after meals plus fanatical flossing. I’m off to break open another bottle of Aspirin, perhaps a bottle of Scotch would be better

Oh, Tess, I relate to this. Not the root canal--mine was so bad, so low in the tooth, that there was not enough to save. So they ended up just yanking it.

Actually, count yourself lucky. I went the implant route and that takes like a year, and is rather astoundingly expensive. This, of course, was the one year I decided that "we never have any dental problems, so let's just go with the basic insurance."

Uh huh.

I actually think my teeth have deteriorated after I got really serious about flossing. Made it worse. After the implant experience, I've been very dedicated about the whole dental hygiene thing and what's my reward? Oops, cavity! Better pull that one too!

My dentist is a woman with a rather chirpy voice and I sometimes think I should be asking her aren't you supposed to be, like, saving my teeth?

I gave my Vicodin away, or I'd share with you. Sympathies and I'll pour you a empathetic whisky on the rocks.

Oh, right. You ain't here. Well, waste not want not. I'll be loopy for you.

 

[LeBroz]

It didn't happen yesterday. Sigh. I have to go back to court in October for the final hearing and then there's a 21-day state mandated appeal period. So November 2 will be it. I was pretty depressed yesterday, but I guess I've waited this long I can make it for another two months.

I just tell myself that it's good for poetry.

Damn! Well, you've got a slew of degenerate poets here at Lit rooting for you. The magic moment will come when the judge intones those magic words that declare the relationship at an end and that the parties now are single and to conduct themselves accordingly. Talk about a momentary high!! And then the healing really begins, which I'm sure ee will be happy to help with.

Hang in there.
.
.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Oh, Tess, I relate to this. <clip>..... Uh huh.


[torrid tale of dentistry]

.....</clip>I gave my Vicodin away, or I'd share with you. Sympathies and I'll pour you a empathetic whisky on the rocks.

Oh, right. You ain't here. Well, waste not want not. I'll be loopy for you.

I intend to get thoroughly loopy in about 2 hours. I'll raise a glass, nay, the bottle to you.

 

[Sara Crewe]

To all the people who have ever complained that their kid's teacher didn't seem to know what they were talking about...I say sometimes there is a good reason.
I have a high school teaching job. It's starts on Tuesday. I will probably be teaching around a hundred kids three different courses. I say probably because nobody has fucking well told me what I am teaching. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I leave for an hour today and they call to tell me what my assignment is but do they leave the information on the answering machine? Abso-fuckin-lutely not. Of course they didn't. So, I will find out tomorrow. We hope. Leaving me with a grand total of four days to read all the books for the courses, plan curriculum and organize at the very least my lessons for the first week. Will anyone cut me any slack because this lack of organization is not my fault? Of course not! Dont be stupid. I gotta hit the ground running or I'm dead in the water. How do you like those mixed metaphor apples? Screw you if ya don't. If this was the first time I had been through this, that would be fine but this is the five millionth time they have done this!! Okay it's not quite five million but don't quibble when I am in a fit of working woman angst and raging against the school board machine. I fucking hate them. Every single red-tape pushin' pain in the ass, never spent a day in front of a class or if they did they sucked at it- asshole. Yeah, I'll be ready. No thanks to you, ya bunch of numbnuts.

Fuck.

 

[Tzara]

I intend to get thoroughly loopy in about 2 hours. I'll raise a glass, nay, the bottle to you.

I feel I want to swap extractions with you.

This leaves me confused. Is that erotic? And drill me baby seems so wrongly gendered.

Take aspirin, Scotch, and mindless videos. Get yerself better, sweet.

 

[Tzara]

To all the people who have ever complained that their kid's teacher didn't seem to know what they were talking about...I say sometimes there is a good reason.
I have a high school teaching job. It's starts on Tuesday. I will probably be teaching around a hundred kids three different courses. I say probably because nobody has fucking well told me what I am teaching. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I leave for an hour today and they call to tell me what my assignment is but do they leave the information on the answering machine? Abso-fuckin-lutely not. Of course they didn't. So, I will find out tomorrow. We hope. Leaving me with a grand total of four days to read all the books for the courses, plan curriculum and organize at the very least my lessons for the first week. Will anyone cut me any slack because this lack of organization is not my fault? Of course not! Dont be stupid. I gotta hit the ground running or I'm dead in the water. How do you like those mixed metaphor apples? Screw you if ya don't. If this was the first time I had been through this, that would be fine but this is the five millionth time they have done this!! Okay it's not quite five million but don't quibble when I am in a fit of working woman angst and raging against the school board machine. I fucking hate them. Every single red-tape pushin' pain in the ass, never spent a day in front of a class or if they did they sucked at it- asshole. Yeah, I'll be ready. No thanks to you, ya bunch of numbnuts.

Fuck.

There are really only three stories, Missy. Or is that two? I always forget. You're an English major. Fake it.

I'm already drinking rye in sympathy for Tessie. I'll pour a couple fingers for you as well.

I just hope they pick books you've read. Smack the kids around a bit. Might make you feel better.

 

[Tzara]

It didn't happen yesterday. Sigh. I have to go back to court in October for the final hearing and then there's a 21-day state mandated appeal period. So November 2 will be it. I was pretty depressed yesterday, but I guess I've waited this long I can make it for another two months.

I just tell myself that it's good for poetry.

I'd give you a big hug, but that might not sit well with e2.

Hang in there. It will, eventually, be over.

 

[Sara Crewe]

There are really only three stories, Missy. Or is that two? I always forget. You're an English major. Fake it.

I'm already drinking rye in sympathy for Tessie. I'll pour a couple fingers for you as well.

I just hope they pick books you've read. Smack the kids around a bit. Might make you feel better.

I feel bad about Tess's tooth. That sounds awful. Maybe I should just drink with you and Tess between now and Tuesday and then I won't get stressed or nervous or drive myself insane thinking I am not doing a good job.

At this point, there is a rumour that perhaps I will not just be teaching English. Might be a religion thrown in there. I've taught religion before...once...twelve years ago.

And Murphy has a special law for English teachers. THEY never, EVER, pick books that you have read. It's written some where in stone: Choose books teacher has not previously read to make her have several heart attacks and give her brain contusions. If you are feeling kind, then choose a book she has read before but hated so much she wanted to rip her eye balls out at the half way point.

I am stressed out. I spew when I am like this.


Thanks for getting extra loopy on my behalf, Tzara.


For Ange and Tess


PS I always feel like I am in trouble when you call me Missy. I am demented enough that I kinda like that though...

 

[ghost_girl]

..................

 

[ghost_girl]

................

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

I feel I want to swap extractions with you.

This leaves me confused. Is that erotic? And drill me baby seems so wrongly gendered.

Take aspirin, Scotch, and mindless videos. Get yerself better, sweet.

Did someone say scotch?


Hey Tzara, have you tried N'adurra yet? It is a cask strenghth single malt by Glenlevitt, it somehow lacks the refinement of say 18 yr old Glenmorangie but it does leave a warm impression.


*Tess baby, I feel for you. I detest the dentist, I think you pretty much have to be a sadist to want to become one.

 

[Angeline]

I feel bad about Tess's tooth. That sounds awful. Maybe I should just drink with you and Tess between now and Tuesday and then I won't get stressed or nervous or drive myself insane thinking I am not doing a good job.

At this point, there is a rumour that perhaps I will not just be teaching English. Might be a religion thrown in there. I've taught religion before...once...twelve years ago.

And Murphy has a special law for English teachers. THEY never, EVER, pick books that you have read. It's written some where in stone: Choose books teacher has not previously read to make her have several heart attacks and give her brain contusions. If you are feeling kind, then choose a book she has read before but hated so much she wanted to rip her eye balls out at the half way point.

I am stressed out. I spew when I am like this.


Thanks for getting extra loopy on my behalf, Tzara.




For Ange and Tess


PS I always feel like I am in trouble when you call me Missy. I am demented enough that I kinda like that though...

I alwys call my daughter missy before I'm about to reprimand her. However if you're anything like her--and I'll bet you are--it has no effect whatsoever on a) her behavior or b) her willingness to listen. But I like the way it sounds: "You listen up Missy!" Another of my failed experiments at parenting. The one time I tried corporal punishment (she was grabbing my hand and pinching it really hard, so I tapped her on the hand to try to show her it hurt--and I did it pretty lightly, too), she hauled back and walloped me.

But if I can't change my ability to parent--or lack thereof--or my marital status, I can change...my hair! Damnit I will have control over something in my life. Again, if I were my daughter, this would mean I'd have a big pink stripe down the side of my head, but I'm way too conservative for that. So I just covered that oh-so distinguished-looking gray at my temples. Now my hair is the luxurious black it once was before life started sucking the vitality out of it.

And so eagleyez has taken to calling me "darky," which is so politically incorrect, but he's also staring at me a lot more since I did it. I think he's twitterpated again. Good. I like him that way.

Tessy, I hope you're feeling better. I can think of a few good cures for what ails you, but only one of them is legal. And Sara darlin, you know what they say: "Let it be a challenge to you."

 

[Tathagata]

To all the people who have ever complained that their kid's teacher didn't seem to know what they were talking about...I say sometimes there is a good reason.
I have a high school teaching job. It's starts on Tuesday. I will probably be teaching around a hundred kids three different courses. I say probably because nobody has fucking well told me what I am teaching. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I leave for an hour today and they call to tell me what my assignment is but do they leave the information on the answering machine? Abso-fuckin-lutely not. Of course they didn't. So, I will find out tomorrow. We hope. Leaving me with a grand total of four days to read all the books for the courses, plan curriculum and organize at the very least my lessons for the first week. Will anyone cut me any slack because this lack of organization is not my fault? Of course not! Dont be stupid. I gotta hit the ground running or I'm dead in the water. How do you like those mixed metaphor apples? Screw you if ya don't. If this was the first time I had been through this, that would be fine but this is the five millionth time they have done this!! Okay it's not quite five million but don't quibble when I am in a fit of working woman angst and raging against the school board machine. I fucking hate them. Every single red-tape pushin' pain in the ass, never spent a day in front of a class or if they did they sucked at it- asshole. Yeah, I'll be ready. No thanks to you, ya bunch of numbnuts.

Fuck.

I fuckin knew you were really from Boston
No fuckin doubt about it now


at present I am in no position to say this because I can't take my own advice lately
How fuckin unusual
ha
anyway
just remember...it's not the end of the world
you'll get by because you are smart and you will charm and shine and the kids will love you and in the end the fucktards won't matter at all.
You'll have done the best possible job you could and those kids will be better off having had you
errrr
had you as a teacher that is.


There's a rumor that the Buddha's final words to his followers were " Do your best" because that's all you can do.
I know you will do that and that's all anyone can expect from you
no matter what.

 

[ghost_girl]

I alwys call my daughter missy before I'm about to reprimand her. However if you're anything like her--and I'll bet you are--it has no effect whatsoever on a) her behavior or b) her willingness to listen. But I like the way it sounds: "You listen up Missy!" Another of my failed experiments at parenting. The one time I tried corporal punishment (she was grabbing my hand and pinching it really hard, so I tapped her on the hand to try to show her it hurt--and I did it pretty lightly, too), she hauled back and walloped me.

But if I can't change my ability to parent--or lack thereof--or my marital status, I can change...my hair! Damnit I will have control over something in my life. Again, if I were my daughter, this would mean I'd have a big pink stripe down the side of my head, but I'm way too conservative for that. So I just covered that oh-so distinguished-looking gray at my temples. Now my hair is the luxurious black it once was before life started sucking the vitality out of it.

And so eagleyez has taken to calling me "darky," which is so politically incorrect, but he's also staring at me a lot more since I did it. I think he's twitterpated again. Good. I like him that way.

Tessy, I hope you're feeling better. I can think of a few good cures for what ails you, but only one of them is legal. And Sara darlin, you know what they say: "Let it be a challenge to you."

hey sis,

Ive been "darkin" my hair for years, as the girls call it. Started graying when I was 22. It sucked so bad to be that young and have people telling you, You look so "wise" and african american men seem to find it "hot" and would hit on me and then hubby would beat my ass because he thought I was flirting with them, so yeah, God bless Clairol...

what the hell is wise looking about grey hair? ellifino...

Tess, did you ever see Castaway with Tom Hanks?

remember how he stopped his toothache? think back.... the ice skate and all

now, don't you feel better?

love you all

j

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

First, thank you all for your kind wishes – I’m ashamed I whined like that. My jaw no longer throbs and only hurts when I yawn or laugh hard.

Sara, you have my undying admiration. Teaching High School in this day and age is a true vocation. I’m with GG on this – a teacher with such passion will go far – you’ll have ‘em eating out of your hand in no time. Good luck with the reading – I’m a slow reader, going back over pages just to make sure I remembered correctly so I’d be sunk.

I feel I want to swap extractions with you.
This leaves me confused. Is that erotic? And drill me baby seems so wrongly gendered.
Take aspirin, Scotch, and mindless videos. Get yerself better, sweet.

This is when I found laughing hard hurts. I’d swap extractions with you any time. I don’t know about you but I’m clear headed and bright eyed this a.m. – ready for the next round. The long week end stretches ahead, the forecast isn’t good – break out the Oban and the Larkin.

Sabina! It’s so good to see you. Don’t leave us again – I’ll even arrange snow.

Ange, thank you. For my part I’m disappointed you have to wait even longer for total freedom but it won’t be long and you have that rock of a man beside you to cheer you along plus a whole gaggle of poets (what would the word for a collection of poets be any way?) rooting for you.

GG – you know, it did help, perhaps because I’ve had the hots for Hanks forever. Thanks.

I you all.

 

[ghost_girl]

................