Lit blog

[Sara Crewe]

Thanks, gg and Tess. Most people call it insanity...passion has a nicer ring.

Ange: You know very well that only administrators stay stuff about 'facing the challenges' just before they hand over the wheel to the sinking ship and lie about smooth sailin' ahead. As far as the 'Missy" thing goes, I admit that I am exactly like your daughter although the stripe was purple. As an aside, I just found my first freakin grey hair. Sonuvabitch!! Now I need highlights!

Tath: I have no fuckin' idea why you say that I'm from Boston. You fucking lose your fuckin' mind or somethin'? Ya see, I gotta get all my f-bombs outta my system so I don't let any accidental ones drop next week. Never happened before but ya never know. The worst thing I have ever said to anyone in a classroom was shut up. Good thing none of them can read my mind. I think your Buddha has the right idea. High fives for the little fat guy.


I'm bitching in here more often because I not only found out what I am teaching, I have an incredible schedule (relatively speaking to my previous years). I received all English courses on my timetable, one of my courses repeats so that means I only have two courses to prep for, I get to be in the same classroom for all three periods and for the other course this will be my third time teaching it!!

So... I have read the books. As a matter of fact, I have read them all several times!! When does this happen?

<does the happy geek dance>

 

[vampiredust]

My girlfriend survived a major fire yesterday. She was lucky to have made it out in one piece. Her house and pretty much everything she has owned went up in smoke. I'm not sure what this might demonstrate in the long run. I thought it might make me more spiritual and show me the value of life, yadda yadda. But funnily enough, for a moment, it made me less. For a brief moment, I didn't believe in a God. I think I was expecting to hear the worst. But that never happened and my chain of thought popped back into its original place.

 

[WickedEve]

I'm still not into this blog thing (I call it bee log, but is it blog like frog?) but I do enjoy sharing a humorous or odd story, which I call my life.

A few days ago, I paid a little visit to my ex, Dead Robert. I told him I was there about the kids, but I really wanted to tell him about this guy I met. So, I'm standing on top of Dead Robert and speaking quietly, I tell him about the children. "Some guy, who thought you were great, sent the kids a hundred bucks. I used it to sign them up for cheerleading. I think you missed it last season. Yes, you definitely did miss cheerleading. You were already dead."

I look around, incase the prison gang is back. They've been all over town and the graveyard, working in the heat. I don't want anyone to see me talking to the ground.

"By the way, you've been dead for a year now. Today is a pretty day." It's awkward talking to the dead. I really want to tell him about this guy I met but I chicken out. He always got angry about everything--worse after we separated. Now he can't say anything in return, but you never know...

"I know you're dead and we're divorced and you really shouldn't have to deal with your ex-wife anymore. I'm sorry; I just realized I'm standing on top of you."

I tell Dead Robert that I'll talk with again another day.

He can't stop me.

 

[ghost_girl]

.................

 

[WickedEve]

part 2

Anyway, I didn't tell Dead Robert about the guy I met. He would not have approved. He smokes, he gambles, he has tattoos. Robert smoked a little. He never had enough money to gamble. Never had a tattoo but he did pierce his ears and wore his grandma's earrings. At least this guy has a home and a job. Robert always drifted back to his mom's basement, settling there like dust stuck on mold. Jobs came and went. Still, he wouldn't have approved. I always told him that I was too busy with our children to go out with a man.

This guy, I'll call him Hugo, lives nearby but not too close. I don't want to date a man who lives so close that he can just stop by whenever he feels like it. He could catch me in my flamingo pajama pants and no makeup. I met him online--no big surprise. The internet is like my hunting grounds. I went to a perv site and found a potential perv, realizing that I'm only Splenda Perv, not the real thing.

We met in a Burger King parking lot in the middle of the lunch rush. I arrived early and went to the bathroom. When I came out I saw a car leaving that was similar to what he said he'd be driving. I thought he saw me and drove away. I was prepared to chase him down but I was wearing sandals. He showed up a few minutes later and we both got out of our cars and approached each other. It could have been romantic. He opened his arms for a hug and I drew back, my body language screaming that I was a "no-touchy." We sat in his car for several hours, talking, making fun of rednecks, and pervs who meet at Burger King.

Without going into detail, there was laughter and touching and kissing and the infamous "Danger Zone!" that nerd girls like me blurt out to save their goodies. We're going to the drive-in tomorrow night to see Homer and his spider pig. Hugo said he's bringing nipple clamps and a dildo. I'm not sure why--at least I tell myself that.

 

[Eluard]

Woke up this morning after some awful nightmares — came and read this and it was as though the nightmares had just continued right on.

 

[RhymeFairy]

To all the people who have ever complained that their kid's teacher didn't seem to know what they were talking about...I say sometimes there is a good reason.
I have a high school teaching job. It's starts on Tuesday. I will probably be teaching around a hundred kids three different courses. I say probably because nobody has fucking well told me what I am teaching. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I leave for an hour today and they call to tell me what my assignment is but do they leave the information on the answering machine? Abso-fuckin-lutely not. Of course they didn't. So, I will find out tomorrow. We hope. Leaving me with a grand total of four days to read all the books for the courses, plan curriculum and organize at the very least my lessons for the first week. Will anyone cut me any slack because this lack of organization is not my fault? Of course not! Dont be stupid. I gotta hit the ground running or I'm dead in the water. How do you like those mixed metaphor apples? Screw you if ya don't. If this was the first time I had been through this, that would be fine but this is the five millionth time they have done this!! Okay it's not quite five million but don't quibble when I am in a fit of working woman angst and raging against the school board machine. I fucking hate them. Every single red-tape pushin' pain in the ass, never spent a day in front of a class or if they did they sucked at it- asshole. Yeah, I'll be ready. No thanks to you, ya bunch of numbnuts.

Fuck.

Ok, who are y o u ?

and ... what did you do with our fun loving, organised muse ... Sara ?


All I could utter after reading that was ... OMG !!! right ON !!!!


Lovin it Sara, but hating your situation.







edited to add : OK, so NOW I see this, lol

I'm bitching in here more often because I not only found out what I am teaching, I have an incredible schedule (relatively speaking to my previous years). I received all English courses on my timetable, one of my courses repeats so that means I only have two courses to prep for, I get to be in the same classroom for all three periods and for the other course this will be my third time teaching it!!

So... I have read the books. As a matter of fact, I have read them all several times!! When does this happen?

<does the happy geek dance>

ahhhhh, THERE she is

 

[Unbridled_Passion]

My girlfriend survived a major fire yesterday. She was lucky to have made it out in one piece. Her house and pretty much everything she has owned went up in smoke. I'm not sure what this might demonstrate in the long run. I thought it might make me more spiritual and show me the value of life, yadda yadda. But funnily enough, for a moment, it made me less. For a brief moment, I didn't believe in a God. I think I was expecting to hear the worst. But that never happened and my chain of thought popped back into its original place.

I am glad that everyone is okay! As for the spiritual thing, I think everyone has questions now and then. Trust me on this, as I have been through enough as of late to make me question a lot of things.

 

[Angeline]

Anyway, I didn't tell Dead Robert about the guy I met. He would not have approved. He smokes, he gambles, he has tattoos. Robert smoked a little. He never had enough money to gamble. Never had a tattoo but he did pierce his ears and wore his grandma's earrings. At least this guy has a home and a job. Robert always drifted back to his mom's basement, settling there like dust stuck on mold. Jobs came and went. Still, he wouldn't have approved. I always told him that I was too busy with our children to go out with a man.

This guy, I'll call him Hugo, lives nearby but not too close. I don't want to date a man who lives so close that he can just stop by whenever he feels like it. He could catch me in my flamingo pajama pants and no makeup. I met him online--no big surprise. The internet is like my hunting grounds. I went to a perv site and found a potential perv, realizing that I'm only Splenda Perv, not the real thing.

We met in a Burger King parking lot in the middle of the lunch rush. I arrived early and went to the bathroom. When I came out I saw a car leaving that was similar to what he said he'd be driving. I thought he saw me and drove away. I was prepared to chase him down but I was wearing sandals. He showed up a few minutes later and we both got out of our cars and approached each other. It could have been romantic. He opened his arms for a hug and I drew back, my body language screaming that I was a "no-touchy." We sat in his car for several hours, talking, making fun of rednecks, and pervs who meet at Burger King.

Without going into detail, there was laughter and touching and kissing and the infamous "Danger Zone!" that nerd girls like me blurt out to save their goodies. We're going to the drive-in tomorrow night to see Homer and his spider pig. Hugo said he's bringing nipple clamps and a dildo. I'm not sure why--at least I tell myself that.

It's Danger Will Robinson. That's what I said. Eagleyez can do a great imitation of the robot from Lost in Space going haywire and saying "Danger Will Robinson." I think I'll send him to you to get in between you and Hugo. What's with the nipple clamps? After one semi-date? I'd smack him upside the haid. I don't care if he curses and smokes and has tatoos. And I don't trust guys who want their paws on you the instant they meet you. Yknow, give me a few minutes to decide if I have enough chemistry with you to want to hug you. If you can't show enough refinement to keep it in your pants for the first half hour after meeting me, you're definitely not my type. (Well, in spite of what I told you about ee lol).

Anyway a dildo and nipple clamps at the drive in? I swear if I lived near you, I'd come and shine a flashlight in there and demand to see his liscence and registration lol. Then I'll lecture him on treating you with respect. Then I'll leave. And if he's still too pushy I'm comin back and bringin the monkey!

Have you noticed that this blog (and I say blog, not bee log, lol--I dunno which is right) has taken on a dear abbey ambiance?

Well I tarted up with my newly-darked hair tonight and we went out for Japanese food. Miso soup and a vegetable maki set. And ginger ice cream. I wore make up and long dangly earrings and told myself it's only two months. Now we're going to watch a movie. I want to see The Devil Wears Prada, but I know he's going to talk me into The Good Shepherd. He's still giving me shit about Dreamgirls lol. It was awful. Like a Motown opera which would have been great if they used real motown songs. But they were erstaz motown songs. So now I have to do penance of Robert DiNero thriller movies. That's ok. I can read, too. I just started EL Doctorow's Ragtime.

You let me know if I have to speak severely to Hugo. You know I'm dommy enough to do it.

 

[ghost_girl]

..................

 

[WickedEve]

It's Danger Will Robinson. That's what I said. Eagleyez can do a great imitation of the robot from Lost in Space going haywire and saying "Danger Will Robinson." I think I'll send him to you to get in between you and Hugo. What's with the nipple clamps? After one semi-date? I'd smack him upside the haid. I don't care if he curses and smokes and has tatoos. And I don't trust guys who want their paws on you the instant they meet you. Yknow, give me a few minutes to decide if I have enough chemistry with you to want to hug you. If you can't show enough refinement to keep it in your pants for the first half hour after meeting me, you're definitely not my type. (Well, in spite of what I told you about ee lol).

Anyway a dildo and nipple clamps at the drive in? I swear if I lived near you, I'd come and shine a flashlight in there and demand to see his liscence and registration lol. Then I'll lecture him on treating you with respect. Then I'll leave. And if he's still too pushy I'm comin back and bringin the monkey!

Have you noticed that this blog (and I say blog, not bee log, lol--I dunno which is right) has taken on a dear abbey ambiance?

Well I tarted up with my newly-darked hair tonight and we went out for Japanese food. Miso soup and a vegetable maki set. And ginger ice cream. I wore make up and long dangly earrings and told myself it's only two months. Now we're going to watch a movie. I want to see The Devil Wears Prada, but I know he's going to talk me into The Good Shepherd. He's still giving me shit about Dreamgirls lol. It was awful. Like a Motown opera which would have been great if they used real motown songs. But they were erstaz motown songs. So now I have to do penance of Robert DiNero thriller movies. That's ok. I can read, too. I just started EL Doctorow's Ragtime.

You let me know if I have to speak severely to Hugo. You know I'm dommy enough to do it.

I have a friend who lives about a block away. Our kids are in the same grade, so we became friends that way. I told her about Hugo and the drive-in. Now she and her husband and her kids are going to be there. She's all worked up about Hugo and my common sense. If he goes near the danger zone, he'll have to deal with her, and she's quite husky.

I really have common sense, but I ignore it lately. Angeline, one of my bestest-est-est buddies, knows about my twisted and ouchy challenges in life. Sometimes we all are pushed too far. I have been numb for way too long and now I'm waking up and stretching my danger zones. Now is my time to be a dumbass, temporarily. I must pluck that manic hair from my ass and go with Hugo to the drive-in. I will either survive or be found before the next show, clamped and dildoed to the ground.

 

[ghost_girl]

I have a friend who lives about a block away. Our kids are in the same grade, so we became friends that way. I told her about Hugo and the drive-in. Now she and her husband and her kids are going to be there. She's all worked up about Hugo and my common sense. If he goes near the danger zone, he'll have to deal with her, and she's quite husky.

I really have common sense, but I ignore it lately. Angeline, one of my bestest-est-est buddies, knows about my twisted and ouchy challenges in life. Sometimes we all are pushed too far. I have been numb for way too long and now I'm waking up and stretching my danger zones. Now is my time to be a dumbass, temporarily. I must pluck that manic hair from my ass and go with Hugo to the drive-in. I will either survive or be found before the next show, clamped and dildoed to the ground.

Dammit Eve!
That is not funny....they found a guy like that down here a while back. It was a sad site. I think his name was Larry Craig....

 

[WickedEve]

Dammit Eve!
That is not funny....they found a guy like that down here a while back. It was a sad site. I think his name was Larry Craig....

Oh, good god! He was clamped and dildoed?


I have no fear of the dildo.

 

[ghost_girl]

...............

 

[Angeline]

seriously, Eve, if this guy messes with you in a way unbecoming to someone that I frigging love and adore, I will hunt him down and hurt him in a way he has yet to imagine. and I'm not kiddin'... you just let me know

Poor guy hasn't a clue that she has an army of aggressive poets behind her who love her and would cheerfully kill him for her. Lol.

 

[ghost_girl]

..............

 

[WickedEve]

Poor guy hasn't a clue that she has an army of aggressive poets behind her who love her and would cheerfully kill him for her. Lol.

Gosh, I seem to have you two worked up and my girlfriend who lives nearby. I've told him that I have family and friends who watch out for me. And he did back off when I warned him of the danger zone. I may add to that and tell him I have plutonium in my pants--the real source of danger.
I just want to go to a freakin' movie and eat popcorn! I need popcorn. I had tofu scramble and soy milk this morning. I need buttered popcorn! I haven't dated in a long time. Am I suppose to put out for popcorn? Do I let him near the plutonium for some butter?

Edited to add: Plutonium Butter
You know it's a great title for a poem.

 

[Tathagata]

Anyway, I didn't tell Dead Robert about the guy I met. He would not have approved. He smokes, he gambles, he has tattoos. Robert smoked a little. He never had enough money to gamble. Never had a tattoo but he did pierce his ears and wore his grandma's earrings. At least this guy has a home and a job. Robert always drifted back to his mom's basement, settling there like dust stuck on mold. Jobs came and went. Still, he wouldn't have approved. I always told him that I was too busy with our children to go out with a man.

This guy, I'll call him Hugo, lives nearby but not too close. I don't want to date a man who lives so close that he can just stop by whenever he feels like it. He could catch me in my flamingo pajama pants and no makeup. I met him online--no big surprise. The internet is like my hunting grounds. I went to a perv site and found a potential perv, realizing that I'm only Splenda Perv, not the real thing.

We met in a Burger King parking lot in the middle of the lunch rush. I arrived early and went to the bathroom. When I came out I saw a car leaving that was similar to what he said he'd be driving. I thought he saw me and drove away. I was prepared to chase him down but I was wearing sandals. He showed up a few minutes later and we both got out of our cars and approached each other. It could have been romantic. He opened his arms for a hug and I drew back, my body language screaming that I was a "no-touchy." We sat in his car for several hours, talking, making fun of rednecks, and pervs who meet at Burger King.

Without going into detail, there was laughter and touching and kissing and the infamous "Danger Zone!" that nerd girls like me blurt out to save their goodies. We're going to the drive-in tomorrow night to see Homer and his spider pig. Hugo said he's bringing nipple clamps and a dildo. I'm not sure why--at least I tell myself that.

I really gotta move down to where ever the fuck it is you live

Jesus
Burger King and Nipple clamps?

I got tattoos, I used to have pierced ear, I know all the words to " Tumblin Tumbleweed" " Cattle Call" and " Too Drunk To Fuck" .
I own a jaw harp and a didgeradoo
and can play the ever living fuck out of both of 'em.

I do the Splenda thing for blood sugar and I make a mean chili.

Drive In's mean we hide people in the trunk , fuck with the ticket booth people, and have a massive orgy during the movie...but we have to watch the cartoon

K??

 

[WickedEve]

I really gotta move down to where ever the fuck it is you live

Jesus
Burger King and Nipple clamps?

I got tattoos, I used to have pierced ear, I know all the words to " Tumblin Tumbleweed" " Cattle Call" and " Too Drunk To Fuck" .
I own a jaw harp and a didgeradoo
and can play the ever living fuck out of both of 'em.

I do the Splenda thing for blood sugar and I make a mean chili.

Drive In's mean we hide people in the trunk , fuck with the ticket booth people, and have a massive orgy during the movie...but we have to watch the cartoon

K??

Sigh... I'm leaving now. I just emailed and gave him a list of NOs. He said he was bringing this and that and I said, "No. You don't bring those things to see the Simpsons!" Now I'm pissed off. I will not be clamped or terrorized by a vibe at the Simpon's movie!
Oh, monkey love, I wish you were here. I could spank you and make you buy me popcorn.

 

[Tathagata]

Sigh... I'm leaving now. I just emailed and gave him a list of NOs. He said he was bringing this and that and I said, "No. You don't bring those things to see the Simpsons!" Now I'm pissed off. I will not be clamped or terrorized by a vibe at the Simpon's movie!
Oh, monkey love, I wish you were here. I could spank you and make you buy me popcorn.

they have popcorn there?
is it real popcorn or that " kettle corn" shit?
( I'm just saying that so you'll spank me harder)

tell this tattooed fuck wit you aren't a nipple clamp on the first date kinda gal
did I ever tell you we used to do a song called
" I Don't Fuck On The First Date"?
I believe it was largely satirical....at least it was when I wrote it


Have fun and eat a corn dog suggestively

smoooochies evey-poo

 

[WickedEve]

they have popcorn there?
is it real popcorn or that " kettle corn" shit?
( I'm just saying that so you'll spank me harder)

tell this tattooed fuck wit you aren't a nipple clamp on the first date kinda gal
did I ever tell you we used to do a song called
" I Don't Fuck On The First Date"?
I believe it was largely satirical....at least it was when I wrote it


Have fun and eat a corn dog suggestively

smoooochies evey-poo

It's over and I'm alive.
Maybe I'll write a poem or something about the experience.

 

[RhymeFairy]

Gosh, I seem to have you two worked up and my girlfriend who lives nearby. I've told him that I have family and friends who watch out for me. And he did back off when I warned him of the danger zone. I may add to that and tell him I have plutonium in my pants--the real source of danger.
I just want to go to a freakin' movie and eat popcorn! I need popcorn. I had tofu scramble and soy milk this morning. I need buttered popcorn! I haven't dated in a long time. Am I suppose to put out for popcorn? Do I let him near the plutonium for some butter?

Edited to add: Plutonium Butter
You know it's a great title for a poem.

I love this. You have to know, you're my idol ....

It's over and I'm alive.
Maybe I'll write a poem or something about the experience.

What ??? You can't just leave on that note. We shall all be in suspense all day, night, weekend. I have to say Eve, your a bad, bad woman ... Did I ever tell ya, you're my idol? heheheh *weg, so bad and don't we all know it. Love it my friend. But seriously, you have to share all the juicy details ...

 

[Angeline]

Plutonium Butter

That butter is rank
not cold and delicious in the icebox.
These are no plums. You'll think
to rush me, swallow their little pleasures
and cat ate the canary tri-cornered
grin, promise me never again. You won't.
Because the butter is corroded
with wiry copper and haywire scientists
got too big for their damn britches,
fiddled and diddled and doodled
until even Darwin would have wept
for butter bright as one thousand Suns
pouring over the unverse, all of it,
your little corner of it where not even
plums are safe anymore.

So swallow that
with your morning toast and tea.
Write me a fetching note
and tape it to the icebox door.
Say goodbye my dear friend,
goodbye I have eaten the toast
with plutonium butter and now
I must join the stars.

 

[ghost_girl]

That butter is rank
not cold and delicious in the icebox.
These are no plums. You'll think
to rush me, swallow their little pleasures
and cat ate the canary tri-cornered
grin, promise me never again. You won't.
Because the butter is corroded
with wiry copper and haywire scientists
got too big for their damn britches,
fiddled and diddled and doodled
until even Darwin would have wept
for butter bright as one thousand Suns
pouring over the unverse, all of it,
your little corner of it where not even
plums are safe anymore.

So swallow that
with your morning toast and tea.
Write me a fetching note
and tape it to the icebox door.
Say goodbye my dear friend,
goodbye I have eaten the toast
with plutonium butter and now
I must join the stars.

I wish WCW could read this!! he would spew his prune juice from every hole in his body. You're something else , Sis, and I mean that in the most wonderful way.. it is really good, n a radioactive way. what is its half life, if I may ask?



xoxox

j

 

[Angeline]

I wish WCW could read this!! he would spew his prune juice from every hole in his body. You're something else , Sis, and I mean that in the most wonderful way.. it is really good, n a radioactive way. what is its half life, if I may ask?



xoxox

j

I'll let you know if I can publish it somewhere fun. I bet I can.