Litiquette VI

[hotwords229_A]

When you’re being tackled to the ground by six State Troopers, that moment just before your cheek hits the pavement, you begin to think to yourself, “Okay, maybe I have a problem.”

Or so I’ve heard

I have a very reliable subconscious mind. My conscious mind is a complete moron, but my subconscious mind keeps me in check. It’s that nagging feeling that I forgot something, that I should be doing something, it reminds me to wake up at a certain time in the morning, etc.

It’s also the voice in my head that tells me, “you’re looking a little chunky, maybe it’s time to lay off the junk and start moving the trunk?” or “maybe you should stop being a self-righteous prick and listen to the other side of the argument” or just the more subtle, “Hey Fuckface, what the FUCK!”

That voice keeps me from going too far, or at least it’s honest enough to know when I’ve gone too far and then it’s time to have a serious sit down with my conscious mind and tell it it’s being a dick.

 

[numeniusa]

When you’re being tackled to the ground by six State Troopers, that moment just before your cheek hits the pavement, you begin to think to yourself, “Okay, maybe I have a problem.”

Or so I’ve heard

I have a very reliable subconscious mind. My conscious mind is a complete moron, but my subconscious mind keeps me in check. It’s that nagging feeling that I forgot something, that I should be doing something, it reminds me to wake up at a certain time in the morning, etc.

It’s also the voice in my head that tells me, “you’re looking a little chunky, maybe it’s time to lay off the junk and start moving the trunk?” or “maybe you should stop being a self-righteous prick and listen to the other side of the argument” or just the more subtle, “Hey Fuckface, what the FUCK!”

That voice keeps me from going too far, or at least it’s honest enough to know when I’ve gone too far and then it’s time to have a serious sit down with my conscious mind and tell it it’s being a dick.

That's a great way to describe it. Does your conscious mind always listen?

 

[SassySheDevil]

Very interesting discussion yesterday. Thanks for all the participation and being free about your filthy little habits.

With something as powerful as porn or the feeling of an orgasm, it can become extremely addictive. There’s a lot more going on here than the need to cum. It can become a compulsion and it can take over. We spoke a few weeks ago on various addictions. This question might be a little similar and, maybe, a bit personal. However, a lot of people here have shared some personal things and there has been no judgment or anything. This thread has been so interesting, for that reason.

My question is... whether it’s porn, sex, drugs, alcohol, Lucky Charms, etc... how do you know when you’re out of control? How do you know when it has become a “problem”? Are there things you once “had a problem with” that you can now partake in healthy doses? Or do you have to maintain distance from that and never partake?


Sarah Bareilles cover of Chandelier

https://youtu.be/OlqEj3TcAEI

My Dad was an alcoholic. Best gift I ever got from that, was a half brother that I didn't find out about until my 30s.

So. I have to watch myself around alcohol. It started to become a problem, which I recognized about 3 months into a "we must party every weekend and get black out wasted" bender.
I told my husband it was becoming a problem and I had to back away from the friends I was partying with.
For years, I just had to watch how often I drank. Then Diabetes!. Well, that took care of that problem.
I don't like straight hard alcohol by itself. I have always drank the sugary foo foo stuff.
So now if I want to drink it is wine, or vodka/soda water. I'm not a huge fan of the Vodka/Sugar water, so I don't drink all that much.

I have an addictive personality. Food is my weakness. I stress eat.

Years ago, I managed to lose 60 pounds. Took major changes (and not healthy ones) but when my Dad got Cancer, I ate it all back on while he went through Chemo/radiation.
Now I take medication to help keep me from binge eating. (I'll go all day without food, and stuff my face at night)

 

[SassySheDevil]

Sorry. That came out sounding way more shallow than I meant.

But since I was quoted, and not passed any judgement....

I just prefer soft and squishy to cuddle with. My husband is a little stick figure and I tease him all the time about his bones poking me. Thankfully he has gained a little weight and is much nicer to cuddle with now.

 

[BongoGal]

I am this way btw.
For the most part. I can totally appreciate all the hard work that goes into being fit, taking care of yourself, working hard. Because, I wish I had that in me.
I envy that. But at the same time. I love my food. I'm a fat kid who likes comfort too much.

But that being said. I don't know I'd want that in my bed. I'm insecure enough.

Husband and I have a canopy bed with mirrors on top....We took the mirrors down (after a scary earthquake)...

Egads!

 

[parker77]

So seeing a hard as rock man in my bed next to me, would probably just make me want to cry.

Don't feel bad, seeing a rock hard man in bed next to me would make me want to cry as well.

 

[Dribble]

First...I want to publically say I appreciate pmann for moderating this thread. It is thought provoking even when many wish it wasn't. To each their own. On those days where it becomes a little too real, participate elsewhere. I like how this thread flows...starting here and ending in a very different, but just as much of a thought provoking place.

Drugs, sex, alcohol, gambling, porn...I have said it before...I view them all as symptoms of the real disease. That view is frowned on by many. That is fine. Have your view...I dont try to change your view...why can't I have mine? Removing a symptom, doesnt cure the disease. It is incurable.

How do I know when my addiction is an issue? I can abstain from all the things I listed, and my addiction can still be running full steam ahead. That is because I view my addiction as a spiritual disease...something that sucks my spirituality from me. It is always there...waiting...feeding...everyday. I wake up with it. I go to sleep with it. So I fight it actively implementing spiritual principles in my life. Fight the disease...not the symptoms. Things like honesty. Empathy. Forgiveness. Open-mindedness...all spiritual principles. I dont know if I always struggled with spirituality...but I can tell you I have always been on a spiritual search.

How do I know when I am behind in the battle? I dont see the flowers. I dont smell the perfume. I dont see a child in the grocery store smiling. I dont see the colors in the sunset. I see these things...but I don't. They dont register. Here on Lit? I get where I can't let the asshole have the last word. And then I become the asshole.

Yes, there are things I can do today that caused me issues in the past. That is cause they werent the real issue. Just a symptom. Could they be an issue in the future? Sure. That is why I am always evaluating my actions...feelings...looking for my true motives. But one thing I do not let back into my life is drugs...they consume me...like no other. But i had a glass of champagne at my wedding. It was not a relapse. I have had a beer at a dinner party...it was not a relapse. It is all about motive. If I justify something...it is 100% a relapse.

Healthy doses...not sure there is such a thing for those like me. I would never drink in moderation. I would never buy it except to cook with...and then i throw the leftovers away. I dont trust myself enough.

I can be addicted to work. To cleaning the house. To organizing my storage unit, which I am going to do this afternoon. Motives...all about motives.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Don't feel bad, seeing a rock hard man in bed next to me would make me want to cry as well.

haha but a fun image.

 

[hotwords229_A]

That's a great way to describe it. Does your conscious mind always listen?

Yes, most of the time. I recognize that it’s the thinking part of my brain.

 

[StacyLeigh]

how do you know when you’re out of control? How do you know when it has become a “problem”? Are there things you once “had a problem with” that you can now partake in healthy doses? Or do you have to maintain distance from that and never partake?

I don't have an addictive personality. Having a dad that died, before I was even able to legally drink, from the effects of alcoholism pretty much solidified in my mind that anything is excess can be detrimental. I know that it can go both ways - that children of addicts can either inherit the behavior or learn from it. Had my dad not passed, maybe things would be different, but watching the effects of out of control behavior I think would have still deterred my choices and behavior.

To the opposite end though, I think I'm "addicted" to being IN control. I've never been drunk, I've never partaken in anything that could drastically alter my state of mind in anyway. I'd even feel confident saying I've never truly "cut loose".... Wow, I sound like a barrel of fun! I think having NEVER experienced "out of control" I'm terrified to EVER experience it. But I'm fun - I swear! haha

 

[hotwords229_A]

. . . I think I'm "addicted" to being IN control . . . I think having NEVER experienced "out of control" I'm terrified to EVER experience it. But I'm fun - I swear! haha

Stop trying to control how we think of you!

 

[Suz_anne]

My current addiction is Starburst jelly beans. I have a 1 pound bag left and after that... no more. I'm done till next Easter.

But until then, I plan to get real dirty with 'em.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I’m mostly not addicted to things. I’ve never done drugs. And, like Stacy said, I’ve never even been drunk. I’m just telling the truth.

Sex stuffs and sweets/bad food are the two things I’ve had trouble controlling. I mean, I’m not fucking that porn star friend of Corbal or eating my weight in Krispy Kremes, but there are things that I have struggled controlling in the past.

Even this place could be a bit addictive some years ago. It’s quite different for me now. But there was a time when it was, years back. You see a new poster and you’re interested in them and thinking, “Hmmm, what do I do to get her attention?” It certainly wasn’t malicious or anything like that, but there was an addictive element to it. The newness and talking and finding that chemistry.

I feel like I’m much more in control of things, these days.

 

[parker77]

I’m addicted to a couple of people. Although I have gone through periods of abstinence and suffered withdrawal symptoms, like all addicts, I remain addicted.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Even this place could be a bit addictive some years ago. It’s quite different for me now. But there was a time when it was, years back. You see a new poster and you’re interested in them and thinking, “Hmmm, what do I do to get her attention?” It certainly wasn’t malicious or anything like that, but there was an addictive element to it. The newness and talking and finding that chemistry.

This is me. I’ve been here just over a year and I am still addicted to finding the chemistry. It is elusive, but when I find it....I’m out of control. When everything clicks....they make me laugh, they check off ALL the boxes, they want the same things, their voice makes my panties wet, the witty banter laced with sexual innuendo, the CHEMISTRY....and the final piece of the puzzle, when you see their face and it is exactly what you were hoping for. For me, this is my addiction. It will make me stay up all night and go to work the next day with only an hour of sleep. It is as powerful as any drug I can imagine.

I’m hoping at some point this desire will settle down, but for now, I still get a tingle when that little black box pops up.

ETA: It is the desire for intimacy that fuels this. And these kind of connections end up filling that void for me.

 

[JennyNo1]

This is me. I’ve been here just over a year and I am still addicted to finding the chemistry. It is elusive, but when I find it....I’m out of control. When everything clicks....they make me laugh, they check off ALL the boxes, they want the same things, their voice makes my panties wet, the witty banter laced with sexual innuendo, the CHEMISTRY....and the final piece of the puzzle, when you see their face and it is exactly what you were hoping for. For me, this is my addiction. It will make me stay up all night and go to work the next day with only an hour of sleep. It is as powerful as any drug I can imagine.

I’m hoping at some point this desire will settle down, but for now, I still get a tingle when that little black box pops up.

It most likely will, I think. I used to be a little bit that way. Now I'm settled in and comfortable and rarely get too hyper about anyone in "that way". Actually, I kinda miss it.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

It most likely will, I think. I used to be a little bit that way. Now I'm settled in and comfortable and rarely get too hyper about anyone in "that way". Actually, I kinda miss it.

Here’s hoping...before i get fired!

 

[JennyNo1]

Here’s hoping...before i get fired!

Haha, I think I was almost there a time or two!

 

[Lord Pmann]

First...I want to publically say I appreciate pmann for moderating this thread. It is thought provoking even when many wish it wasn't. To each their own. On those days where it becomes a little too real, participate elsewhere. I like how this thread flows...starting here and ending in a very different, but just as much of a thought provoking place.

Thanks for this. I do enjoy the thought provoking questions. I love people watching and it’s quite nice to see people here willing to talk about personal struggles, desires and everything else I’m nosy enough to ask.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

My question is... whether it’s porn, sex, drugs, alcohol, Lucky Charms, etc... how do you know when you’re out of control? How do you know when it has become a “problem”? Are there things you once “had a problem with” that you can now partake in healthy doses? Or do you have to maintain distance from that and never partake?

I know internally. There's never a question of knowing, but there might be a question of being ready to admit it. I don't want to admit it until I'm ready to change, or until i feel capable of change, which is the real issue.

Some things, yeah, i can engage in with my guard up, ready to beat a hasty retreat if i get too close to the tipping point. Other things i have to stay far away from.

Accountability is important. Crucial. The life i want to live looks nothing like the life i would be living if i tore down all the hedges.

 

[Lord Pmann]

So this won’t be a really popular question. However, I’m going to ask it anyway. It was inspired by recent events on this thread, but it’s a topic that’s crossed my mind often.

I’ve noticed that when love goes bad on Lit and someone gets called out, it’s most often the girl calling out the guy. Or the passive aggressive comments in the “What Are You Thinking” thread are usually directed from girl to guy or from girl to the cheating whore who took her man. You rarely see a guy post those things. Why?

Do you think the guys cheat more here? Do you think the girls have greater expectations? Do you think the guys care less? Do you think it’s just the nature of girls vs guys?


Bad Blood by Ryan Adams

https://youtu.be/9V-8VP5dnrQ

 

[SassySheDevil]

So this won’t be a really popular question. However, I’m going to ask it anyway. It was inspired by recent events on this thread, but it’s a topic that’s crossed my mind often.

I’ve noticed that when love goes bad on Lit and someone gets called out, it’s most often the girl calling out the guy. Or the passive aggressive comments in the “What Are You Thinking” thread are usually directed from girl to guy or from girl to the cheating whore who took her man. You rarely see a guy post those things. Why?

Do you think the guys cheat more here? Do you think the girls have greater expectations? Do you think the guys care less? Do you think it’s just the nature of girls vs guys?


Bad Blood by Ryan Adams

https://youtu.be/9V-8VP5dnrQ

I will refrain from a detailed answer of this this question. However, I have been involved in both sides.
I think the main answer though. Women get more support. Women can spout their hurt and get sympathy easier than the men. Women get hurt and guys come running in to white knight them. Men don't support other mens drama usually. (Except you Pmann, who supports everyones drama)

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

I think the main answer though. Women get more support. Women can spout their hurt and get sympathy easier than the men. Women get hurt and guys come running in to white knight them. Men don't support other mens drama usually. (Except you Pmann, who supports everyones drama)

I think this, in general, is the closest to the general picture here as you can get...while knowing that there are definitely exceptions to this on all sides.

Like all other things on Lit, there is never black and white. Just myriad shades of grayish crap.

 

[Lord Pmann]

(Except you Pmann, who supports everyones drama)

Awwww. Thanks. I’m known as the supportive type. It’s kind of my thing around here. I’m the rock on which all people can lean.

 

[parker77]

Awwww. Thanks. I’m known as the supportive type. It’s kind of my thing around here. I’m the rock on which all people can lean.

Is this really true? No offense, but I kinda think of you more as stirring the pot than making comfort stew.