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I'm loving all of these excerpts, it's great to see the progress of everyone's novels. There are some very high quality novels being written here in the AH, we should all be very proud of ourselves.
Doffy, that club sounds interesting, and I could easily picture it in my mind. That woman has got some stamina!
Perdita, your excerpt was very moving and heart felt. It didn't make me feel sad for the dead, more glad of heart. It was a lovely extract and beautifully written.
Pops, great extract! I don't know how you can claim to write drivel. You have some very good characters there, and I love the way you portray them interacting with each other.
Bardslady, that was wonderful. From that small extract alone I got a very clear picture of Terri's character, and I like her, a lot! The way you portrayed her relationship with her father and her subsequent strength was great.
Crimson, well what can I say? That was one hot piece of writing. Everyone else is right, you should have a heap of confidence in yourself. I could really feel everything Neenah was doing to herself.
Ok, here's one of my own. Things have got very mysterious and dark for the group of friends. Two of them have opted to hike out, in an attempt to get help...
“I can’t believe the scale of everything out here,” said Hayley.
“I know what you mean,” agreed Tom. “I expected everything in England to be quaint and understated, but that hotel is on such a grand scale,” he said, turning around and gesturing towards the huge building in the distance behind them . “These trees are enormous, but the roof of that place is still clearly visible.”
“This driveway is a killer, too. I hope it’s not much further,” said Hayley. “Hey, check your phone; you never know you might get a signal.”
“Yeah, worth a try, I guess.” He had his mobile turned off, to preserve the battery. They hoped to be away from the hotel for no longer than a few hours, but Tom always liked to err on the side of caution. He didn’t want to get to a place where the phone might pick up a signal, only for the battery to die on him. He held the button down, to turn it on, then yelled and threw the phone to the ground. “What the…?” he said.
“Oh my goodness, Tom, look at it,” said Hayley. They stared at the phone as it continued to emit bright sparks and flashes, the crackling sound it made reminded Tom of a loud firework going off.
“That’s impossible,” he stated, “and look at my hand!” Hayley gently held the back of his hand and turned it, to enable her to study the palm. It was scorched and the black marks clearly matched the outline of the phone. When she brought her head up again she looked over Tom’s shoulder, a confused expression spreading across her face. Tom turned his own head to follow her line of site. He took a while to drink in the scene which greeted his eyes.
The mist had returned, but this time had broken from the confines of the trees. The density of the mist wasn’t consistent throughout the whole of the mass; it was very thin in parts, but extremely thick in others. These thicker sections swirled and undulated, and, strangest of all, emitted light. This wasn’t just bright white light, which was unnerving enough, there was also red, green and blue light emitting from the core of these masses. The fingers of light reached out, sparked and flashed, almost dancing to the rhythm of a silent beat.
“What is it, Tom?” asked Hayley, in a whisper.
“I don’t know, but whatever it is it’s blocking our path. Coincidence? I think not,” stated Tom.
“Where do you think it’s coming from?”
“I don’t know, but I think we should try to find out.” Tom was being uncharacteristically brave, perhaps spurred on by his desire to impress Hayley.
“Yeah, I think we should, but are you sure you want to?” Hayley was a spunky woman, full of drive and energy, and also staunch in her desire to right any wrongs she encountered.
“Yep, I’m sure,” he said, reaching for her hand, “we do this together, partner.”
They were reasonably sure that whatever had caused the anomaly had something to do with the trees or the lake, or more than likely, both. They‘d listened intently the previous evening when Matt explained about the strange substance in the lake, which looked like water, but in fact wasn’t.
Tom knew the sensible thing to do would be to go back to the hotel and report the weird mist and lights to the rest of the group, but he wanted to play the hero for once. He wanted all the women admiring him, and the other men to look up to him. Tom liked, even loved, every member of the group. They’d always been very sweet and friendly towards him, especially Hayley and Kat, but he’d never really felt part of the more intimate conversations. He didn’t mind admitting to himself that he was especially envious of Matt, and Andy, but he would never admit it to them. It wasn’t just complete acceptance he was yearning for; he was also looking to displace one, if not both, of the most admired men in the group.
I have my sweet little Hayley with me, this could be my moment of glory, he thought as he entered the heavily shaded area beneath the canopy of the trees.
No more than ten feet away stood Roarke, gleefully rubbing his hands together. He was more than satisfied they had fallen for his ploy, he was jubilant, he realised he had at his disposal a vehicle for the destruction of the strong ones.
Lou
Doffy, that club sounds interesting, and I could easily picture it in my mind. That woman has got some stamina!
Perdita, your excerpt was very moving and heart felt. It didn't make me feel sad for the dead, more glad of heart. It was a lovely extract and beautifully written.
Pops, great extract! I don't know how you can claim to write drivel. You have some very good characters there, and I love the way you portray them interacting with each other.
Bardslady, that was wonderful. From that small extract alone I got a very clear picture of Terri's character, and I like her, a lot! The way you portrayed her relationship with her father and her subsequent strength was great.
Crimson, well what can I say? That was one hot piece of writing. Everyone else is right, you should have a heap of confidence in yourself. I could really feel everything Neenah was doing to herself.
Ok, here's one of my own. Things have got very mysterious and dark for the group of friends. Two of them have opted to hike out, in an attempt to get help...
“I can’t believe the scale of everything out here,” said Hayley.
“I know what you mean,” agreed Tom. “I expected everything in England to be quaint and understated, but that hotel is on such a grand scale,” he said, turning around and gesturing towards the huge building in the distance behind them . “These trees are enormous, but the roof of that place is still clearly visible.”
“This driveway is a killer, too. I hope it’s not much further,” said Hayley. “Hey, check your phone; you never know you might get a signal.”
“Yeah, worth a try, I guess.” He had his mobile turned off, to preserve the battery. They hoped to be away from the hotel for no longer than a few hours, but Tom always liked to err on the side of caution. He didn’t want to get to a place where the phone might pick up a signal, only for the battery to die on him. He held the button down, to turn it on, then yelled and threw the phone to the ground. “What the…?” he said.
“Oh my goodness, Tom, look at it,” said Hayley. They stared at the phone as it continued to emit bright sparks and flashes, the crackling sound it made reminded Tom of a loud firework going off.
“That’s impossible,” he stated, “and look at my hand!” Hayley gently held the back of his hand and turned it, to enable her to study the palm. It was scorched and the black marks clearly matched the outline of the phone. When she brought her head up again she looked over Tom’s shoulder, a confused expression spreading across her face. Tom turned his own head to follow her line of site. He took a while to drink in the scene which greeted his eyes.
The mist had returned, but this time had broken from the confines of the trees. The density of the mist wasn’t consistent throughout the whole of the mass; it was very thin in parts, but extremely thick in others. These thicker sections swirled and undulated, and, strangest of all, emitted light. This wasn’t just bright white light, which was unnerving enough, there was also red, green and blue light emitting from the core of these masses. The fingers of light reached out, sparked and flashed, almost dancing to the rhythm of a silent beat.
“What is it, Tom?” asked Hayley, in a whisper.
“I don’t know, but whatever it is it’s blocking our path. Coincidence? I think not,” stated Tom.
“Where do you think it’s coming from?”
“I don’t know, but I think we should try to find out.” Tom was being uncharacteristically brave, perhaps spurred on by his desire to impress Hayley.
“Yeah, I think we should, but are you sure you want to?” Hayley was a spunky woman, full of drive and energy, and also staunch in her desire to right any wrongs she encountered.
“Yep, I’m sure,” he said, reaching for her hand, “we do this together, partner.”
They were reasonably sure that whatever had caused the anomaly had something to do with the trees or the lake, or more than likely, both. They‘d listened intently the previous evening when Matt explained about the strange substance in the lake, which looked like water, but in fact wasn’t.
Tom knew the sensible thing to do would be to go back to the hotel and report the weird mist and lights to the rest of the group, but he wanted to play the hero for once. He wanted all the women admiring him, and the other men to look up to him. Tom liked, even loved, every member of the group. They’d always been very sweet and friendly towards him, especially Hayley and Kat, but he’d never really felt part of the more intimate conversations. He didn’t mind admitting to himself that he was especially envious of Matt, and Andy, but he would never admit it to them. It wasn’t just complete acceptance he was yearning for; he was also looking to displace one, if not both, of the most admired men in the group.
I have my sweet little Hayley with me, this could be my moment of glory, he thought as he entered the heavily shaded area beneath the canopy of the trees.
No more than ten feet away stood Roarke, gleefully rubbing his hands together. He was more than satisfied they had fallen for his ploy, he was jubilant, he realised he had at his disposal a vehicle for the destruction of the strong ones.
Lou
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