JuanaSalsa
Kinky Nerd
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2021
- Posts
- 261
Yes, there are predatory pretenders using the community to find victims. I'd caution any woman or man who is submissive they need to negotiate limits and be sure the dom will respect theirs. Then again, if they are a predator and not just ignorant of how things should be, they will agree to anything until your at their mercy.
It is a dangerous lifestyle at times.
It is dangerous, and not just due to predators. You're playing with ignoring pain signals which are your body's literal way to tell you to quit doing something. In the incident I described with me, I was with the most experienced doms in one of the top twenty largest cities in the USA, in a club which was the only BDSM club in the city at the time. They were neither predatory nor pretenders and it was certainly not the first time we'd played.
Still, even then, things can go wrong. I could have easily ignored the issue, and while they could have known without me saying something, it wasn't exactly obvious. I would have blamed myself if it had gone wrong, not them.
I did the dom thing too, and also have blamed myself on that side if things went wrong. When people say the sub is in control, it feels like trying to shift the burden of responsibility off themselves and it irritates me. Especially as a dom, part of being dominant is taking responsibility.