"Loosen up"

[RotorGirl]

So a little background on me... I'm a 24 year old virgin, yes, the V word. This isnt to say that I'm saving myself, it's that my boyfriend and I have been having trouble having sex.

He is quite above average, thickness wise anyway. To give you an idea of how small I am, it hurts me to put a tampon in. I've been trying to loosen myself up a little more for him but it just gets to the point that I am in tears from the pain. Going through my teen years I masturbated, but didnt use anything more than 1 finger, and even then it was on a rare occasion that I inserted anything.

Can anyone help a lady out with some tips? Do I have to just endure the pain? or is there some secret that I have not discovered.

 

[Guest]

 

[RotorGirl]

ah I do use astroglide when it is needed. sorry.

 

[Eilan]

Ooh, sorry to hear this, RotorGirl.

I lost my virginity to my ex-husband. Lengthwise, he was on the low end of average, but he was 8 inches around (yes, I measured it!). At the time, the only penis I'd ever seen was his, and I just assumed he was pretty typical.

He didn't get in on the first try, either. When we did finally succeed it hurt like hell, and I ended up consoling my ex because he was so upset about hurting me. I think it took three or four weeks of semi-regular sex for me to feel comfortable. I wish I'd had resources like Lit back then.

Throughout our relationship, I experienced pain during sex. Not every single time, but often enough to make me sometimes not want to have sex. I found that sometimes painful sex can be mental--for me, at least. IOW, if I expected it to hurt, it did.

I found out later, though, that the partners that my ex has had since we split up have also found his girth uncomfortable at times. Just too much of a good thing, I guess.

I was going to suggest lube as well, but it sounds like you have that covered.


Have you tried making sure that you've had an orgasm or two (or five ) before your BF attempts penetration? Just to relax you a bit.

Have you had a checkup with an ob/gyn, just to make sure everything's okay otherwise?

Good luck!

 

[LadyJeanne]

Tampons shouldn't hurt unless you have a very small opening in your hymen. It's possible for a gynecologist to open that up for you if you don't want to risk the pain of your boyfriend pushing through it.

If you want to try breaking your hymen yourself, I'd recommend lots of lube and trying to insert a thinner dildo and maybe working your way up to something bigger before you try PIV sex wtih your boyfriend.

Once the hymen is broken, it shouldn't hurt to insert anything unless you're not using lube (meaning, you might be sore for a while, but it shouldn't be painful, and once you've healed from the de-virginization, it shouldn't hurt at all). It's possible for your boyfriend to be abnormally thick, but unless he's King Kong, it still shouldn't hurt. There's really no way to loosen your vagina anyway except to relax the muscles and be very wet.

Good luck!

 

[sunandshadow]

Tampons shouldn't hurt unless you have a very small opening in your hymen. It's possible for a gynecologist to open that up for you if you don't want to risk the pain of your boyfriend pushing through it.

If you want to try breaking your hymen yourself, I'd recommend lots of lube and trying to insert a thinner dildo and maybe working your way up to something bigger before you try PIV sex wtih your boyfriend.

Once the hymen is broken, it shouldn't hurt to insert anything unless you're not using lube (meaning, you might be sore for a while, but it shouldn't be painful, and once you've healed from the de-virginization, it shouldn't hurt at all). It's possible for your boyfriend to be abnormally thick, but unless he's King Kong, it still shouldn't hurt. There's really no way to loosen your vagina anyway except to relax the muscles and be very wet.

Good luck!

I'm thoroughly de-virginated but I had to give up on one dildo I bought because even with tons of lube it hurt. Excessive stretching can definitely be painful. And this toy wasn't all that huge, it was either 2 or 2 1/4 inches in diameter (I forget which). Just slightly too big for me to close my thumb and forefinger all the way around it.

 

[Straight-8]

Tampons shouldn't hurt unless you have a very small opening in your hymen. It's possible for a gynecologist to open that up for you if you don't want to risk the pain of your boyfriend pushing through it.

I knew a girl who had an exceptionally thick/tough hymen and could not have intercourse until it was surgically opened. Have it checked out.

 

[cocktan]

So a little background on me... I'm a 24 year old virgin, yes, the V word. This isnt to say that I'm saving myself, it's that my boyfriend and I have been having trouble having sex.

He is quite above average, thickness wise anyway. To give you an idea of how small I am, it hurts me to put a tampon in. I've been trying to loosen myself up a little more for him but it just gets to the point that I am in tears from the pain. Going through my teen years I masturbated, but didnt use anything more than 1 finger, and even then it was on a rare occasion that I inserted anything.

Can anyone help a lady out with some tips? Do I have to just endure the pain? or is there some secret that I have not discovered.

My GF has the same thing, we don't really consider this too much of a problem since my penis is about average thickness so it doesn't really hurt her too much. as she was growing up she didn't really masturbate that much and very rarely inserted things into her so now it's shes very timid around even the smalles dildo, i have found the best way to get around this problem is to start small even during sex, use a smal dildo then gradually work up to the size of his penis, it may take a while but it makes for great foreplay ;-)

oh another thing that might help, is if you shave your labia around the opening to your vagina the pubic hairs won't get in the way, this is a problem that my GF and I have. she has long hair so when i am engering her, her hair can get cought on the condom causeing her to tighten a little more.