LTR and others finding love on line

[MissTaken]

At what point do the emotions of a long distance online and phone relationship reach the point of being "love?"

If someone tells you they love you and you haven't met....

or


If you begin to include your time with someone on line and on the phone as a critical part of your daily life....

Well, damn,

Just how do you know?

 

[whspr]

I think I knew I loved meop early on. My heart would almost pound out of my chest when I heard his voice. I could hear the huskiness in his. We could finish sentences for each other like we had known each other forever. I felt complete and still do. But I have to say...I was still really nervous meeting him the first time.
What if face to face we felt different? Of course, I saw his smile and just fell deeper in love. I guess everyone could be different about this but this is my experience.

I love you, meop....

soft kisses,
whspr

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, whspr.

I have long been a pessimist with regard to "love" being found on line and on the phone, without meeting.

Then, once in a while, my own words jump up and kick my butt!

 

[whspr]

I wasn't looking for love when meop and I found each other...but I'm sure glad my heart was closed to the idea

Sometimes a swift kick in the butt isn't a bad thing....

whspr

 

[Jimi]

Love, friendship, etc...

Thank you, whspr.

I have long been a pessimist with regard to "love" being found on line and on the phone, without meeting.

Then, once in a while, my own words jump up and kick my butt!

With Size 11-1/2 boots!

 

[omahaman2]

For me,it was like in any other relationship.When you want to be with the person all the time, every minute of every day. The only difference is that there is distance between and thus you utilize whatever means to keep contact.The relationship grew deeper quicker becauseyou are able to share more what you think and feel inside because thats all you have is communication. Whatever drives 2 people in the outside world to unite is the same in LDRs except you get to know the person before looks are involved and isnt that what most people want, to be accepted for who they are,not what they look like, at least in the beginning of a relationship. ALSO,as a side note to jenny http://cards.lovingyou.com/platinum/images/cat2.jpg

 

[Guest]

I think I could write volumes on this, but I'm going to try and keep it brief.

I was happily divorced, not looking for a new relationship. I began chatting online just as a diversion from the late night boredom I was enduring. One night, a guy came into the chat room I was in and we were all telling jokes. He blended right in and had an outrageous sense of humor. As it turned out, he and I were the only ones left after a few hours. Then, we stopped joking for the time being and just chatted. Email addresses were exchanged, and I left thinking, "nice guy."

That led to a couple of months of chatting and that led to our first phone call. I kept thinking of him as a friend, nothing more, even though I thought about him all the time. We began spending countless hours on the phone. He and I shared so many commonalities, from the inane to the serious.

One night, as we were talking about heartbreak, happiness and love, and life, I realized "OMG, I'm in love with him. This is the man I was meant to love." It hit me so hard, but it was so real, and it became so vital to me. Neither of us made a declaration of love right then , though.

Then, a few nights later he said, "I never thought I could feel this much love for anyone." That was it, I was quick to return the sentiments.

Now, how did I know it was real love? I knew that the one thing in the world that was going to make me completely happy was to spend my life making him happy. He was the first person that I ever felt so strongly about that I wanted to put his feelings first. I honestly did believe he was my soul mate, he was the only man in the world that I could ever love. He was the only man that I wanted to love me.

I spent my days longing to be with him, and my nights with him on line or on the phone, but my heart was always with him.

Upon our first RL meeting, all those emotions just exploded into the most wonderfully exciting time of my life. I knew I loved him before we met, so there were no surprises.

The end of the story...next Monday we will be celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary. Life is wonderful.


How do you know? Trust your heart.

Good luck to you!

 

[enjoyingitall]

I hate when I time out. The above post was me.

E.

 

[Jewelz]

Good thread Miss T

Hmm, I could, too, write volumes just one what I thought was love and thinking I was falling in love with this one or that one. When I was just really craving the attention certain men were giving me privately and deep down knowing that nothing was coming of it but still a part of me longed to be loved like I needed to be loved. Back in '99, I did fall hard for someone online. We spent many hours on phone, email, IMs, snail mail..etc. We connected...but after 2 years of no advancing, he said he wasnt leaving his wife, I said I wasnt leaving my husband. But neither of us were completely happy in our marriages. We drifted apart in 2000 but had some contact still. Now there is none. It wasnt meant to be. We were merely filling a void at that moment in time.

Then of course, I came to Lit back in aug/sept last year. Didnt register til jan. I met many people and got close to a few men. I really thought I fell in love with a few of them. But i didnt. i simply cared deeply for them and living on a dream that they would be the one to whisk me away. That dream wasnt happening. Because they were not the one for some reason or another.

A few weeks ago, I start a thread and a sweet guy comes and posts. We find we have things in common. We joke, we talk, I offered him friendship, only a PM away if he needed to talk. He said he just might take me up on that offer. I said I shall be a lady in waiting. He immediately PM'd me and said he doesnt keep ladies waiting. From there, we talked for hours via PMs that day. and on IMs. At one point that evening, I asked him to call me. He did. We spent 4 hours on the phone. By the end of the conversation, I knew I had feelings that I had NEVER felt before. I told him so. He agreed that he felt the same thing. Instant connection.. soul mates. From that moment on, we have spent every chance we can together. If I can, I call him in the morning to wake him, we chat via PMs and email throughout the day, night falls and we are IMing each other and later, the nightly phone call comes. Some nights its a short conversation but most nights it is at least a 3 hour conversation. We have grown so close, so fast and we both KNOW that this is it. This love is real. Its an aching inside, a need to hear from that person, a constant want, always on my mind.

He totally fills the emptiness that has been there in my life for many years. He makes me feel desirable, sexy and wanted. He was the first person to tell me that they would wait forever for me if he had to but it would almost kill him to do it. He said he loves me and me alone. Wants me and only me.

Yes, it was fast and furious, but love is like that sometimes. We arent going to question it but savor every moment of it.

I will be meeting him in just 24 days. And will be spending about 3 or 4 days with him. Im so nervous, so scared, but it feels so right. I love you Phelan

My marriage has been failing for years....and we are seperated now.

(on a side note....E and MissT .your new avs are damn sexy!!)

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, everyone.

And thank you, jewelz for enjoying my av. I rather liked this one as well.

I have loved men on line who later weren't who they originally presented themselves to be. So, I proceed with great caution when engaging in anything that appears like there is a possible relationship in the making.

My history is blurred. I have demonstrated poor choice in character when it comes to partners. I think this is a big drawback in terms of my letting myself go to share with anyone.

I try to open myself up to all possibilities, but there is always a bridal and rein that tugs and says, "You could be Mistaken again!" (pun intended)

Who knows? For now, I will just go with my instinct, again.

If necessary, I can always pick up the pieces, again.

I am not even sure how to identify emotions much less act on them, anymore.

Hmmmm thought provoking for me. How to define and identify love.

I want it
I need it
I have never known it

 

[Jewelz]

MissT~

I really wasnt looking for love AT ALL!!!! I had just gone through a bad time on Lit with one and another that I loved deeply but he couldnt return that kind of love. So I was out to have fun.

I knew I had this huge void in my soul, in my spirit. I dream big. So I dreamed that such a man would exist and truly sweep me off my feet and love me the way I needed to be loved. To complete me. Little did I know that it would smack me in the face so fast!!

He had me from hello, but it was the phone call that reeled me in. The identification for me was just the absolute powerful sensation he gave me with just normal conversation. It was intense. What else could it be? It wasnt lust. Sure we both lusted after each other, still do...but as he says to me all the time...this is too much work if it was all about sex.. I am consumed by him.

 

[sxychick21]

Jewelz,
If this one was fast and furious how do you know that its real? You said yourself you fall fast and hard and eventually you discover its just the attention you're craving.

You're divorcing your husband for someone you met online?

Im not trying to be mean spirited I just wanted to know!

 

[~Dream~]

What Is Love?...

Well Miss T ...
You are a loving ,caring,sweet,kind lady and to me that personifies love..
So although you may not have known it yet , it certainly knows you hun..
As for Me and my Love..
about 4 weeks ago now ..I think something in me just "knew",it felt "right" in my heart-I felt alive again when I met Artful..
I felt as complete as a woman could ever feel from what He brought to my life.Art ,is like the "missing piece" to the puzzle known as my heart.
He listens to me,and lets me share who and what I really am and He doesnt judge or ridicule me.He respects me and gives me His strength when I am feeling weak.It feels so right to love Him,like God meant for us to find each other this way,,at this time in our lives..
We have alot of differences but I believe we compliment each other in alot of ways also. We click on alot of things too tho.
I am a "dreamer' and Art is the one to make them all come true,dont ask me how but I just "feel it"..
What He said after our 1st phone conversation will stay with me all of my life,
He said"After only talking with an Angel for 15 mins I feel like I'm in heaven, what's it gonna feel like when I hold Her for the 1st time?" omg I cried & cried when he typed those words cause that "sealed the deal" for me!!
My heart is ALWAYS with Art..but my body aches and yearns to hold Him and touch Him ,to join as one with Him.. Patiently I shall wait , but hoping to meet skin to skin asap....my heart leaps for joy when He is online ...I love Him with my heart, mind , body & soul...

 

[Jewelz]

Jewelz,
If this one was fast and furious how do you know that its real? You said yourself you fall fast and hard and eventually you discover its just the attention you're craving.

You're divorcing your husband for someone you met online?

Im not trying to be mean spirited I just wanted to know!

No, I am not divorcing my husband for someone I met online. Our relationship was failing before. Its a mutual seperation.

And Im not going to question the reality of "this one". He and I both know the way we feel and that is all that matters.

 

[MissTaken]

As I stated in the Divorce and Separation thread, we have watched Jewelz struggle with issues concerning her marraige since she came to lit.


I wish you all the best and if this love is THE love, enjoy.

Be well and happy!


hugs Jewelz

 

[Jewelz]

As I stated in the Divorce and Separation thread, we have watched Jewelz struggle with issues concerning her marraige since she came to lit.


I wish you all the best and if this love is THE love, enjoy.

Be well and happy!


hugs Jewelz

thank you very much for your support MissT. it is very much appreciated. only time will tell the success of any relationship. im going in eyes wide open. life is about change, nothing ever stays the same.

BIG HUGS!

 

[omahaman2]

I think everyones experience matches mine.I wasnt looking for love,but it sure found me. You know,you really know it when it hits you.I met jenny in chat, enjoyed each others company from the start.She ended up having computer problems and that really clinched it.I realized how much I cared for her by how much I missed her. I didnt even know her real name yet, but knewI wanted to know everything about her.I think it was best described up above as when you start caring about the other person more than yourself. It is hard to put into words, words come from the mind, feelings come from the heart, andshe touched my heart like no one had ever done before.. We have gone from chatting in words in the tub to Ims to phone to pc mikes so we can spend hours together.Then, we met in rl and it was like we had known each other forever.Now,I long for the day we will be together all the time.The main thing,I guess, I wanted to say is its hard todescribe whaen it happens,it happens differently for different people but when it happens, you just know.

 

[Jewelz]

The main thing,I guess, I wanted to say is its hard todescribe whaen it happens,it happens differently for different people but when it happens, you just know.

exactly!!

 

[artful]

At what point do the emotions of a long distance online and phone relationship reach the point of being "love?"
If someone tells you they love you and you haven't met....or
If you begin to include your time with someone on line and on the phone as a critical part of your daily life....
Well, damn,
Just how do you know?

Well Damn,
MissT, truly I am not a stalker,...but lately you have put up more interesting topic threads,...and Art being Art,...just can't keep from responding. Your questions are so *genuine* and heartfelt. As most of you know,...for the past month,...for the first time,...I am involved in building a long term relationship with Dream. Men are such different beings than women,...no one as yet, has really got a handle on ALL the differences. We have all witnessed very emotional men, and very logical women. So everything is not cut and dried, ...there is still a lot of hay in the field. The people that come and put a steady amount of time into Literotica on the net, are a class unto themselves that is separate from all others. There are those that jump in make a few posts and come back later, some that come here everday(like me). With others they visit here and there on the web,...touch bases with Lit once in a while and a few days later, once again they pop up.(whew)LONG TERM LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS just happen. For no apparent ONE reason, but the overriding factor that connects it all is simple,...two people put in enough time at the same place,...and it can happen,...it DOES happen.
The more one is exposed, the more that is seen by others. Somewhere on lit, there is someone looking for you, and he doesn't even know it. Somewhere on lit is the relationship you are looking for. It could be M/F,M/M/F,F/M/F, etc., even now you, or they don't know,...sometimes we think we have found something genuine,...and we get fooled. Such is life, and how do we normally respond afterward ? I'll answer that! Normally, ...we hide ourselves, our fear drives us back into our armor,(aint going through THAT shit again). Then slowly, as we perceive it is safe to venture out again, we start to talk to people again,...not letting all the hurt and fear SHOW,...but still,...we take steps. I am different in many ways from most people,...one of those ways is,...I don't FALL in love,...I CHOOSE who I love ! Looks,(beauty), has little to do with my choice. I have no earthly explanation as to WHY I choose to love one person over another. L/D/R over the world wide web, gives a lot of possibilities, ...really,...world wide. They are the MOST difficult to start,(trust), and surely the most difficult to maintain,...but the opportunity for us all is greatly magnified to finding the relationship each of us seek,(much better than a one horse town with no phones). Personally, I came to Literotica for the purpose to write erotic fiction,(silly boy), and to have a lot of FUN. Look where I am now,...enjoying myself, trying to help others, not writing, and in a deep and meaningful relationship with Dream, making plans for us to meet in R/L!...go figure!

 

[artful]

Applause

I hate when I time out. The above post was me.
E.

A standing ovation to what I just KNOW in my heart was a true account that enjoyingitall gave in the post above. Thank you so much for sharing that with us all. Folks,...if you have never heard the "ring of the truth",...read her post,...listen quietly,...and you can hear it !

 

[enjoyingitall]

Re: Applause

A standing ovation to what I just KNOW in my heart was a true account that enjoyingitall gave in the post above. Thank you so much for sharing that with us all. Folks,...if you have never heard the "ring of the truth",...read her post,...listen quietly,...and you can hear it !

Well, thank you Art. It's so easy for me tell and retell my happily ever after story. A true account it is. My heart continues to be so full of love that given any opportunity I like to offer the success side of on line romances. Ours was also a very long distance one. I was on one coast of the US and he on the other. But knowing in our hearts what we did, we changed that as quickly as was possible. We were both 40 at the time, and couldn't imagine spending any more time apart.. We felt like we were truly alive for the very first time and wanted nothing more than to be together. We still feel that way. He's away on business this week, and I'm missing him so much.
Anyway, thanks again for your post. I wish you the best as you pursue your love.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

At what point do the emotions of a long distance online and phone relationship reach the point of being "love?"

If someone tells you they love you and you haven't met....

or

If you begin to include your time with someone on line and on the phone as a critical part of your daily life....

Well, damn,

Just how do you know?

I wasn't looking for love, and didn't believe anyone really "found love on the net"! That changed a few weeks after I first chatted with Oman.

I realized I was falling in love when I felt I needed to be "connected" to Oman as much as possible! It was the sharing of ALL our feelings with each other that I think brought us together, not just the sexual feelings that stirred for me.

I never felt so "at home" with someone the instant Oman stepped out of the elevator in my apartment building! It was 8 days together that have changed my life.

I also long for the day we are together all the time. Changes are happening for both of us, and I'm thankful he's there to share them with me.

 

[ReBeLBeLLe]

Can love be found online? Once I would have thought someone was crazy if they had told me it was possible. I no longer think that way. I have chatted for quite a few years and seen people fall in and out of relationships online. I have seen my share of realtionships that work and those that don't work. Whether they worked out or not I can say tha those involved felt just as much as they would have felt if they had been in a physical proximity to the ones they cared about. I met someone online quite a few years back. This person and I shared many hours online getting to know each other. We shared more of ourselves than I probably ever would have shared with someone that I talked to face to face. As it's been said, online is about communication. It also helps that you can reveal your wildest fantasies and your deepest and darkest fears without having to see someone's expression when you do. Many of us hold back on what we say for fear of what we may read on another's face, but in doing so we hide a part of ourselves. Online you can be all of you. This person that I met I grew to love and she me. My days revolved around when I could talk to her next. I gave her all of my heart, and was given the same in return. As is par for the course we decided to meet. I didn't doubt that anything would change. I already loved her and I knew that nothing could disappoint me when we met. I can say I wasn't prepared for the deeper level of love I felt after meeting her, holding her, and being able to look into her eyes. I was dumbfounded by the intensity of what I felt. Our online relationship encompassed about two years before we decided to make it real. The transition was an easy one and I can honestly say I have never loved anyone as I loved her. I treasured every day I spent with her because I knew how much of a gift it was...distance had separated us for too long not to know what I had. Unfortunately things for her and I did not work out. Was it less of a relationship, was it not real love because we had met online? No, I know what I felt and feel in my heart to this day. It was real, it was deep, and the time I had with her in real life is something that I will remember the rest of my life and with her a part of my heart will always be.

 

[lovemetender]

I don't see why it can't happen....it's a starting point & a meeting place as well as any of the so called "normal" ones....
besides behind the keyboards is real guys & gals afterall

 

[TantaLiza]

Love online...

I met someone online...we shared more than I'd ever shared with anyone in my whole entire life. I truly loved the guy with all my heart...after getting to know each other for over 3 months online, we mutually decided to meet. I suggested half way so as to make it easier for the both of us...he said, no, I'll come there. I counted down the days...they seemed interminable! As said previously by someone, I thought that "we" had shared everything...my life revolved around meeting him every night, then progressed to calling cards(many of them for me!). I couldn't get enough of him...his voice made me quiver with the love I'd never felt for anyone before...then the day came that we were to meet! I walked in the door and the biggest smile came on my face...I didn't even want to wipe it off!! He looked at me like I've never been looked at before...can't even begin to describe how it made me feel...I just knew it had to be love!

We were together for 3 months...I couldn't wait to get home from work to be with him...admittedly things weren't totally smooth... since I do have a child and it wasn't possible for him to live with me but I made the most of every moment we could be together! I shared my whole self with him...we were still getting to know more about each other daily and I thought it would never change. I was wrong...saddly so! Extenuating circumstances made things begin to get uncomfortable...I still loved him tho. I tried to push things along without telling him what to do but it didn't help. I figured that if he loved me as much as he proclaimed then he wouldn't need to be pushed any harder!

Finally, I hit my breaking point! Most of you don't know me very well...it's because I'm afraid to let anyone get that close to me again. Anyway, I had a major heart to heart talk with him...I finally realized that no matter how much I loved him, I wasn't IN LOVE with him...(don't care what anyone thinks, there is a difference) I couldn't continue on the way things were and he wasn't inspired by my love and acceptance...he had to go home where he belonged...

Taking him to the station was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life...including raising my 12 yo daughter on my own! It's bringing tears to my eyes even now...I failed again...my love wasn't enough to make things right for us! Even now, 3 months later, I still look back fondly of our times together and wish I could have that kind of love forever...I know now that he and I weren't meant to be but it still hurts. He is now happy with someone back home where he came from...I'm glad for him!

Thru this board, I have been able to be a voyeur to his ups and downs and it's been a tortuous time....but I had to know...even now. The search mode has been a bit of heaven and hell....at times I've even felt like a stalker. I just had to know why things didn't work out...I gave everything I knew to give and he so easily went on with his life...I also know thru this board many things that he deemed unnecessary to tell me...some important, others not... BUT it trully answered my questions as to why we weren't meant to be...those things won't even be understood to most so I won't even elaborate. Suffice it to say, I'm still lonely but am glad that we found out before we took it to the "alter" as he wanted in the beginning(he may deny that now but it's what HE suggested, not me)...

I trully hope this is read by the few that I have allowed to know bits and pieces about me...it may enlighten them as to why I've done some of the things I have done... I am sorry for the hurt it may have caused! I have come to love this site and envy some of the friendships that have been forged thru it...I will continue to visit from time to time but feel it may be my time to go on...

For you, my lost love, be happy!!! I knew you'd find it....

Liza