Married, but needing to play

[engelbert]

Re: But frankly, I expect more out of someone.

Although slitting my wrists prob wouldnt happen.
Id rip his nuts off for being a child though

Indeed...poor figure of speech I suppose.

I agree that most folks have no idea what they're getting into when they're married. But it's much the same as any long term relationship. It's a bumpy ride, but there are "rules" right? Or am I naive?

I dunno, it seems so easy to have an affair and I think many people do it just to escape the real problem, rather than have the cajones to face it...head on...so to speak.

 

[illinois_guy2]

I think it may be quite a generalization to claim that most people have no idea what they are getting into when they get married. It’s probably true for some people, but to say that it is true for most people seems like a stretch.

Don’t forget that what you see on this thread is not even close to representative of the general population. And certainly the results of any poll you see on Lit should only be taken for entertainment value, as they are not even close to scientific. Clearly, this poll on marital fidelity is only reaching those members of Lit who see it and find it interesting. Chances are that a thread or poll titled "married but looking to play" is going to draw in people who are indeed married and looking to play in higher percentage than those who are happily married. In fact, I would guess that people who are married and looking to play are more likely to be on Lit in the first place than someone who is faithfully married.

You should even be careful about blindly trusting poll results even from non-Lit polls. It was stated earlier in this thread that 60% of all married men and 40% of all married women will have some extra-marital affair, so a conservative estimate is that 80% of all marriages are affected. I don’t know what the actual facts are, so I don’t know how accurate the 60, 40, or 80% numbers are, but even if the 60 and 40% numbers are correct, I don’t agree that it is a conservative estimate that it affects 80% of all marriages since they are not necessarily only cheating with each other. It does not take into account multiple marriages. If you have two guys who have each had 2 marriages, and one guy has never cheated and the other cheated on his first wife but has never cheated on his second wife, then in this small sample 50% of the men have had and extra-marital affair but only 25% of the marriages have been affected. (Of course, in this hypothetical example, we don’t know what the wife was doing). The favorite poll result I ever saw was a real poll taken in shopping malls. The question was about whether a certain chemical substance should be banned. An overexposure to this substance can (and in thousands, if not millions of cases, it has killed), has caused more property damage than any other substance, and has caused numerous injuries. The majority of respondents (and I am not making this up, it was a majority of respondents) responded that the substance dihydro oxide should be banned. For those of you not too up on chemistry, dihydro oxide is a rather strange way of expressing H2O, or water. Due to drowning, steam burns, flood damage, slips and auto accidents due to ice; all the statements about injury, death, and property damage are true.

But enough about statistical analysis. (I am an engineer, so I could talk about number crunching for pages, but I will not at this time). I think that there are many people who go into a marriage who honestly want it to be forever and are very willing to try to make it so. Some of these people get disillusioned after years of neglect and just want someone to make them feel special again. Is this the right thing to do? - well it certainly does break the vows they made. Does this make them bad people? Hard to say. I have seen longtime married couples who are miserable and it is not a happy sight. Would it have been better for these people to get divorced? Also hard to say. In my case, I have a son that I would hate to only see every other weekend, a decent home in the suburbs, and a relatively secure financial situation. Does this mean that I have to have a lifetime of sexual frustration and feeling of rejection to keep this? Am I really a rotten guy if I enjoy coming on Lit and chatting with a woman who seems excited to hear from me when I rarely get that reaction from my wife? I’m sure that to some, the answer is yes, I am a rotten guy. I may have even felt that way myself 15 years age.

Unlike the images you see on TV soap operas, not all guys who cheat are tall, dark, and handsome "playas" who are just looking to add another conquest, and not all women who cheat are manipulative sluts looking to get something by sleeping with other men. Many of us are just ordinary guys and girls who miss the feeling of having someone think that you are special.

 

[lovechild27]

Not even taknig polls into consideration...look at divorce rates. Yes society has changed and made it much more acceptable to get divorced and cheat, but that isnt the only reason why so many are breaking up. I really do believe though that too many people dont think about the possibility of things going wrong later down the road and how they will deal with it when it happens. Maybe Im weird...I look at things like that when considering my future. While the Lit population isnt all that respresentative, there does seem to be a general trend in this direction through out much of society.

 

[JudyWithAFlower]

Try Role Playing

I have never cheated on a mate, and probably never will. my opinion is to get over wanting to play outside of a relationship is to Role Play. Try taking turns dressing up as someone else. Use your imagination when picking out what to wear. Believe me, it can get very exciting, and while dressed up, try something new during oral sex or intercourse each time to even build up the excitement. Everything goes as long as it doesn't leave any scars and is not offensive.

 

[eric60red]

I do a lot of Role Playing

 

[hilton1958]

Sorry