Maryland is for lovers?

[dchockeyman]

I own my crazy, lol. But my mama did teach me I could catch more flies with honey, so I try to keep it to where you can't tell you've been bitch slapped until I'm long gone.

Well, it does take some time for bruises to form, so...

 

[Elgirldani]

Well, it does take some time for bruises to form, so...

Aw, I'm not going to leave bruises. That ain't classy.

 

[dchockeyman]

Aw, I'm not going to leave bruises. That ain't classy.

Light fingerprints are acceptable.

 

[Elgirldani]

Light fingerprints are acceptable.

I already told you I use a soft touch.

 

[dchockeyman]

I already told you I use a soft touch.

Softish.

 

[Elgirldani]

Softish.

So feather-light you have to wonder if I'm even there.

 

[dchockeyman]

So feather-light you have to wonder if I'm even there.

The breathing usually tips me off.

 

[Elgirldani]

The breathing usually tips me off.

Maybe I'm holding my breath...

 

[dchockeyman]

Maybe I'm holding my breath...

Then the changing colors and/or unconsciousness may tip me off.

 

[Elgirldani]

Then the changing colors and/or unconsciousness may tip me off.

Good point... Well damn, I walked right into that too.

 

[dchockeyman]

Good point... Well damn, I walked right into that too.

More stumbled groggily. Don’t worry—I’ll revive you. I think I remember my CPR training.

 

[Elgirldani]

More stumbled groggily. Don’t worry—I’ll revive you. I think I remember my CPR training.

Eh, I think I just gotta walk of shame it on this one. There's no saving it.

 

[dchockeyman]

Eh, I think I just gotta walk of shame it on this one. There's no saving it.

In your formal boots, of course. No judgment.

 

[Elgirldani]

In your formal boots, of course. No judgment.

Well, at least I look good doing it. It's a small consolation, but I'll take anything I can get right now.

 

[dchockeyman]

Well, at least I look good doing it. It's a small consolation, but I'll take anything I can get right now.

You’d look spectacular doing pretty much anything.

 

[Elgirldani]

You’d look spectacular doing pretty much anything.

*bats eyelashes* Who me?

 

[dchockeyman]

*bats eyelashes* Who me?

Dependent on which boots you’re wearing, of course.

 

[Elgirldani]

Dependent on which boots you’re wearing, of course.

Indian giver.

 

[dchockeyman]

Indian giver.

Ha. Ha.

 

[Elgirldani]

Ha. Ha.

Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week!

 

[dchockeyman]

Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week!

Twice on Sundays.

 

[Elgirldani]

Twice on Sundays.

Now with a special matinee showing on Tuesdays!

 

[dchockeyman]

Now with a special matinee showing on Tuesdays!

I am a sucker for good deals, damnit.

 

[Elgirldani]

I am a sucker for good deals, damnit.

Two for the price of one

 

[dchockeyman]

Two for the price of one

Well, you sold me with that. And your dry sarcasm and sass. But mostly the two for one.