Masochistic doms and sadistic subs?

[Little_Kitten]

Hey... Mostly, the masochists are usually subs and sadists are usually doms.... But it can go the other way too right? So has anyone ever met a masochistic dom or something? How does all this work? Does the dom order his/her sub to hurt him/her? Or does the sub beg his/her dom to be allowed to hurt him/her?

I'm just really curious, and this has been bugging me for quite a while.

 

[WriterDom]

Most subs I've known would have no use for a masochistic dom. But I'm sure you could find examples of anything on a planet with 6 and a half billion people.

 

[Stegral]

Hey... Mostly, the masochists are usually subs and sadists are usually doms.... But it can go the other way too right? So has anyone ever met a masochistic dom or something? How does all this work? Does the dom order his/her sub to hurt him/her? Or does the sub beg his/her dom to be allowed to hurt him/her?

I'm just really curious, and this has been bugging me for quite a while.

A couple of "labels" jump out at me...

"topping from the bottom"

&

"switch"

but I could be wrong too... that is JMO...

 

[WriterDom]

Yes, don't forget the switches. Or we'll have another switch discrimination thread going.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

A couple of "labels" jump out at me...

"topping from the bottom"

&

"switch"

but I could be wrong too... that is JMO...

hmmm..topping from the bottom? how exactly ? i've actually seen a few Dom's say that they enjoy pain. and not every submissive is a Masochist either. though i've never seen a Sadistic submissive, that could be interesting i think LOL.

 

[chatbug]

Hey... Mostly, the masochists are usually subs and sadists are usually doms.... But it can go the other way too right? So has anyone ever met a masochistic dom or something? How does all this work? Does the dom order his/her sub to hurt him/her? Or does the sub beg his/her dom to be allowed to hurt him/her?

I'm just really curious, and this has been bugging me for quite a while.

In my opinion, the desire to give or receive pain is independent from the desire to give or take power.

So yes, you could have sadistic subs and masochistic doms.

I can be sadistic and somewhat masochistic. I can be dominant, but I'm not very submissive. I do enjoy being bound and teased.

As far as how it works, it works like anything else in BDSM. Communication.

There's nothing wrong with topping from the bottom if both the top and the bottom are happy.

 

[NoLeafClover7]

.....

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hmm, well I am a slave who is said to have a sadistic streak a mile and then some wide. I have learned to indulge that quality a little too well which leads to torture when I do not have another maso sub to let loose on....I blame F for encouraging me in this exploration under his watchful gaze, and for praising me for having such extensive and exquisite hidden talents (oh, and also those who were on the receiving end and loved every moment). It would of course save a lot of frustration if he were a masochistic Master who required my services in this area, but he isn't, and for me I think that is probably good as it would lead to some serious mind fucking I really wouldn't want or find inspiring in the right way in the long term. For some I can find it working wonderfully though.

Catalina

 

[Marquis]

I've been known to order a sub to whack me on the back once or twice.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Hmmmn, never mind I am not sure the Heimlich Maneuver counts.

 

[myinnerslut]

I've been known to order a sub to whack me on the back once or twice.

A has, once, but only becuase he knew that cuasing pain to him in any way was a boundry i had and he wanted to push me a bit. i dont know if that counts though

 

[Auraka6669]

A has, once, but only becuase he knew that cuasing pain to him in any way was a boundry i had and he wanted to push me a bit. i dont know if that counts though

Not unless he enjoyed it beyond pushing you... and wants more.

It can work. I don't see why it wouldn't, but like anything communication would be key.

 

[Netzach]

I have never managed to bring out a sado impulse in M. A tease, a really good bondage top, yes, but painplay is not really in his repetoire.

 

[BiBunny]

B. and I are both switches, so take this for what it's worth (which ain't a whole lot, LOL).

I get on kicks a lot where I absolutely cannot cum without some kind of pain. So, that means if I have him tied up, and I'm sitting on his face...he's probably going to have to bite me to get me off. That's just how it is.

The flip side of that is that he can be the same way. Wednesday when I went to see him, and he was fucking my brains out, he untied my hands so I could pinch, squeeze, and otherwise hurt his nipples.

But, we're sluts, so we sort of play outside the box, anyway.

 

[the captians wench]

I have a sadistic side that pops out every now and again, but I have no desire to top. I let my sadistic pleasure come out in other ways when the urge becomes too much. For instance, I have a new potential play partner wanting a public meet. Now I could have asked Jounar for permission right away, and I knew that as long as I was interested in it he would most likely give it to me. But I've been draging him along, making him chace and hunt me. It gives me a thrill when I can hold such power over a dominat, kind of a sick version of cat and mouse.

But when it comes to causing physical pain, I have a breaking point. I do enjoy it, but the first yelp of real pain and I totally break down, I can't stand to be the cause of physical pain.

Of course my owner is not one that I inflict pain on, but I have done so on others, and not all submissives.

 

[liberatedslave]

I get no kick from inflicting pain. The closest I've got is a kind of kicked puppy style anger where he'll do something that really fucking hurts and I'm half tempted to lash out in response. I enjoy about 99% of the pain Sir chooses to inflict but there's always that nasty bastard percentage that gets me on the point of safewording or occasionally makes me bottle out and cry red.

Writerdom is right in that I wouldn't see the point of a dom who ordered me to hurt them (although service is always more important than my own gratification... of course... ). Sir wants me to try milking his prostate soon and I doubt that'll be comfortable for him so maybe that counts?

I think the whole concept of maso-doms and sado-subs is just to damn complicated to be any real fun. They kind of cancel each other out on a lot of levels.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think the whole concept of maso-doms and sado-subs is just to damn complicated to be any real fun. They kind of cancel each other out on a lot of levels.

Only if you think in only the more stereotypical mode of what is expected of PYL's and pyl's...as in all things, there are many variations, and many ways of tipping those ways in a direction which does not cancel out the basis of those stereotyped behaviours. F isn't maso in the slightest, but he enjoys having me deliver sadistic pleasures on those who can enjoy them. In that way it is a service both to him (because he has ordered it) and in some ways to the sub who is more than happy to receive that pain as I am serving their needs also. It also is submission on my part as although I have learned to enjoy inflicting pain on one level, it still is not the position I would prefer to be in as I am missing out on receiving the delicious treats I am delivering to another and far removed from the role I am used to. It challenges the belief that receiving pain equates to weak or submission and delivering it equates to strength or Dominance...how it should be interpreted is based more in where it comes from in terms of dominance and submission...IOW, ordering someone to deliver pain to you or someone else does not make someone submissive, just as following that order and doing it well does not make someone Dominant. It takes a while to get your head around it though when not expecting it to be added to the mix.

Catalina

 

[liberatedslave]

Yes I can see your point Catalina, thankyou. I guess it'll give the OP food for thought but I think sometimes kink is over analysed. Your relationship has no limits and so F will ask you to do things for his amusement without the need to consider limits at all. TPE I think is still a minority even in the BDSM world. I'm sure you still see topping another sub on command as part of your service and your perception of this kind of play defines whether it is dominant or still submissive - if that makes sense.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

im a switch and I tend to be sadistic even when being sub. being a switch I very much could use a masochistic Dom since while I sub to him I could claw his back bloody and hed not be mad LOL

 

[eastern sun]

complicated can be fun

I think the whole concept of maso-doms and sado-subs is just to damn complicated to be any real fun. They kind of cancel each other out on a lot of levels.

Interestingly enough, a maso-dom doesn't necessarily need a sadistic sub - just a sub willing to please.

My husband has a cuckolding fetish, which requires me to inflict emotional pain on him. I inflict that pain simply by acting on my desires for other men - and sharing it openly with him. (Though he likes my insensitivities, I did have to learn not to be mean, because in the beginning I started playing some idea of "sadistic," acting on a stereotype, and in that moment stopped being a real partner.) When I learned to share my desires as they really existed without false lines and attitudes, we clicked.

And this takes place within an otherwise more typical 24/7 D/s relationship, in which I revel in the physical pain and power exchange as a sub.

It is complicated, but we're having a lot of fun. And the complexities keep us on our toes.

(BTW I learned how to serve my masochistic dom after starting a thread in this forum, and receiving a few good knocks on the head on what it means to serve. . . .)

 

[babiesmiles]

I've been known to order a sub to whack me on the back once or twice.

.... and if she was a sadist she wouldn't have done it at all !