Me time

[LargoKitt]

In doing some research on female masturbation I run into a lot of: "It's really OK (even when you have a partner)," "Here's the basic things you can do." "It's good for 'getting to sleep', 'relieving cramps', 'relieving the blues or anxiety', 'here are some common fantasies', 'reading or audios are good.' Okay, useful. But in writing convincing characters it isn't hard (actually is) to invent a guy who is randy as hell, has no partner, and needs to work himself until he comes. But, curiously, all the above for women seems to dodge the 'fact' that maybe a woman needs to masturbate because she is horny. Of course, the deep mythology is that she needs to find a man to scratch that itch. And the stories tie that itch to wanting companionship, support, caring, long or short term 'love.' But it seems that 21st century women are just checking in to the fact that on a given day, maybe they are ovulating, maybe they just saw a vintage Elvis concert or an episode of "The L Word" and they realize they are horny as fuck. Somehow, I get the feeling this is still portrayed kind of as a 'dirty secret.' So, the question, are you comfortable creating female characters who just say. "I'm horny as fuck" and do something about it, often solo?

 

[EmilyMiller]

So, the question, are you comfortable creating female characters who just say. "I'm horny as fuck" and do something about it, often solo?

Yes - and my FMCs masturbating for fun or because they are horny appear in many of my stories. This is really not a big deal. Masturbating is entirely natural, regardless of gender. What are you reading?

 

[ElectricBlue]

So, the question, are you comfortable creating female characters who just say. "I'm horny as fuck" and do something about it, often solo?

Yes. I've got a story here that celebrates a woman who pleasures herself.

She does so reminiscing about a relationship two decades ago, so the story has two timelines running through it, then and now. It was fun to write, mainly because the story set in the past had vague autobiographical elements, sort of a "lost opportunity" story.

The story got lost on a bad day in EC, which was a bit disappointing, but no matter.

 

[NotWise]

So, the question, are you comfortable creating female characters who just say. "I'm horny as fuck" and do something about it, often solo?

No problem. Don't know what the issue is.

 

[EmilyMiller]

No problem. Don't know what the issue is.

I don’t think there is one

 

[EmilyMiller]

In doing some research on female masturbation I run into a lot of: "It's really OK (even when you have a partner)," "Here's the basic things you can do." "It's good for 'getting to sleep', 'relieving cramps', 'relieving the blues or anxiety', 'here are some common fantasies', 'reading or audios are good.' Okay, useful. But in writing convincing characters it isn't hard (actually is) to invent a guy who is randy as hell, has no partner, and needs to work himself until he comes. But, curiously, all the above for women seems to dodge the 'fact' that maybe a woman needs to masturbate because she is horny. Of course, the deep mythology is that she needs to find a man to scratch that itch. And the stories tie that itch to wanting companionship, support, caring, long or short term 'love.' But it seems that 21st century women are just checking in to the fact that on a given day, maybe they are ovulating, maybe they just saw a vintage Elvis concert or an episode of "The L Word" and they realize they are horny as fuck. Somehow, I get the feeling this is still portrayed kind of as a 'dirty secret.' So, the question, are you comfortable creating female characters who just say. "I'm horny as fuck" and do something about it, often solo?

Exhibit A:

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/friday-writing-prompt-please-yourself-may-8-2026.1654720/

 

[NotWise]

Lit has a category named Toys and Masturbation. It isn't a popular category, but this was My contribution.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I too have recently written a frustrated female protagonist in T&M -She Can't Get No Satisfaction.

Though I think it is also common for women to be horny, close their eyes and fantasise. Or read a story. Masturbation is a separate activity which may be done when horny, or tired, or for pain relief, or to pass the time.

And we're only a couple generations into it being accepted that women did it at all.

 

[LargoKitt]

Yes - and my FMCs masturbating for fun or because they are horny appear in many of my stories. This is really not a big deal. Masturbating is entirely natural, regardless of gender. What are you reading?

Thanks Em, figured you would be on top of this. It's largely a 'between the lines' thing and catching a vibe from 20th C people, and maybe those cheering for 'trad wives'. I'll look at more of your stories. Maybe what I am missing is more stories talking about the horny rather than how it is satisfied. Also, given this marketplace there is the 'catering to dudes' vibe, kind of 'we know what all you randy wankers want. We are just grooling over the idea of your magnificent sweaty gerkin...." I'm imagining a Chloe Tzang story where the girl is all hot for a 'gweilo boy.' But that's not about her.

 

[LargoKitt]

I too have recently written a frustrated female protagonist in T&M -She Can't Get No Satisfaction.

Though I think it is also common for women to be horny, close their eyes and fantasise. Or read a story. Masturbation is a separate activity which may be done when horny, or tired, or for pain relief, or to pass the time.

And we're only a couple generations into it being accepted that women did it at all.

So, KQQ, would you say that 'being frustrated' is part of being horny? Let me see. For a guy protagonist being 'on the chase' for a hottie and it taking some time and effort would be a buildup but not really part of the horny. But in a 'big house breast seller' there is almost always some aspect of 'not being able to have him/it', kind of a 'building up of need' that is important, if not essential, to her being 'ready'. mental foreplay.

 

[LargoKitt]

Yes - and my FMCs masturbating for fun or because they are horny appear in many of my stories. This is really not a big deal. Masturbating is entirely natural, regardless of gender. What are you reading?

Yes, but we are still saying "Masturbating is entirely natural, regardless of gender." There are yet echoes of the old 'It'll grow hair on your palms" days, despite the huuuuuuuuge industry in women's pleasure devices. And 'we' accept, "Well, yeah, I had to jerk off because you were 'on the rag.' But less, "I had to rub one out because you pulled your back." Her masturbating sugests her partner is 'failing her.' Dunno what the solo sexual politics are for lesbian couples.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Her masturbating sugests her partner is 'failing her.' Dunno what the solo sexual politics are for lesbian couples.

This is an old-time lens being applied.

It’s the same deal as women’s pleasure being secondary. I often masturbate during sex. It’s not weird and I’ve had no complaints.

 

[NotWise]

Yes, but we are still saying "Masturbating is entirely natural, regardless of gender." There are yet echoes of the old 'It'll grow hair on your palms" days, despite the huuuuuuuuge industry in women's pleasure devices. And 'we' accept, "Well, yeah, I had to jerk off because you were 'on the rag.' But less, "I had to rub one out because you pulled your back." Her masturbating sugests her partner is 'failing her.' Dunno what the solo sexual politics are for lesbian couples.

I don't hear the same echos you hear.

 

[EmilyMiller]

People do know that some women can’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone, or sometimes are unable to, right? It’s not all about the penis.

And while some lesbians might play with strap-ons, it’s not a necessary part of lesbain sex. Neither are dildos of any sort.

 

[Britva415]

masturbation I run into a lot of: "It's really OK (even when you have a partner)," "Here's the basic things you can do." "It's good for 'getting to sleep', 'relieving cramps', 'relieving the blues or anxiety', 'here are some common fantasies', 'reading or audios are good.’

Every one of these things is also said about male masturbation.

Other than the fact that the cramps part specifically refers to a feminine monthly pain, “relieving (generic) pain” survives gender swap just as well as all of the other statements, and, nobody thinks we say these things to erase or euphemize male libido.

So why should we interpret it that way when it’s about women?

Maybe the double standard is a projection?

 

[LargoKitt]

Every one of these things is also said about male masturbation.

Other than the fact that the cramps part specifically refers to a feminine monthly pain, “relieving (generic) pain” survives gender swap just as well as all of the other statements, and, nobody thinks we say these things to erase or euphemize male libido.

So why should we interpret it that way when it’s about women?

Maybe the double standard is a projection?

Could be a projection. I'm sure we have all fondled ourselves for other than pure 'reproductive relief'. Boys got the 'hair palms' pitch and the biblical 'casting your seed upon the ground'. That said, few pretended that these were the first reason one beat the bishop.

 

[LargoKitt]

This is an old-time lens being applied.

It’s the same deal as women’s pleasure being secondary. I often masturbate during sex. It’s not weird and I’ve had no complaints.

I would imagine your partners cheer if you have ways of getting yourself 'fully there' at any point in your love making. Also, to be clear, when I express what 'people do or think' I am including all people back to those born in 1940. (If they were born before then and are still having sex more power to them.) 'Recent' means maybe after 2010. But in talking about solo sex,
people over 60 are very much a demographic; and how they navigate into a world where every fun toy is an Amazon away, and you can dial up your kink of choice ith your pinkie is an interesting story.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I would imagine your partners cheer if you have ways of getting yourself 'fully there' at any point in your love making.

If he or she didn't care about me having a good time, I’d not be fucking them in the first place. And vice versa. I want sex to be great for everyone involved.

 

[Voboy]

I'm confused by this thread, I admit.

I doubt this is rocket science. Horny people masturbate. To me, it's about that simple. I've known many women in my life who have told me all about the frequency with which they masturbate. When they talk about it, it sounds a lot like how I talk about it. They seem to enjoy it as much as I do, as often as I do, with many of the same visualizations.

So... yes. I am 100% comfortable giving my female characters healthy sex drives, a desire for orgasms, and a need to masturbate. Same with my male characters. I'm writing sex stories here, so my characters are horny. I don't particularly care whether they're male or female, where self-gratification is concerned.

 

[NotWise]

Seem to be losing focus here. It's all very blurry. Where's everyone going?

Oh, there you are. Getting back to the question. I still have no problem writing female characters who masturbate for any reason they see fit, including "I'm horny," and "It feels good." I'll even throw in, "It's better than a man."

Heck, I know women who think Dove chocolate is better than a man, so why not?

They can even stimulate their nipples and/or their anus if they want. They can penetrate, they can not penetrate. They can masturbate with a butternut squash if they want.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I don't hear the same echos you hear.

I think she's revealing her own biases, and needs to read more.

Or he, his.

 

[Voboy]

I would imagine your partners cheer if you have ways of getting yourself 'fully there' at any point in your love making.

I'm exceptionally puzzled by the way you put this, by the way.

Just extremely confusing to me. If this thread is based on your experiences, I'll just say mine have been 180 degrees different than yours.

 

[LargoKitt]

If he or she didn't care about me having a good time, I’d not be fucking them in the first place. And vice versa. I want sex to be great for everyone involved.

Emily, reacting to your WIWAW article : I find fascinating/painful the 'background hum' of where sexual exploitation/PTSD meets neurodivergence. My limited knowledge of autism from working with Temple Grandin and reading about Bears Kaufman and his son tells me that for many people 'on the spectrum' things 'being right' is very important. Where does one fit an experience of 'things being very wrong' into that world view? And then what does one do with the sequelae when the 'wrongness' echoes into relationships with others or 'sets one's rudder' in ways that one can't quite 'get'. Lots of strong stuff to explore.

 

[Voboy]

"It's not that kind of movie, kid."

-Harrison Ford, when Mark Hamill started asking too many questions about why his hair wasn't messed up after the Trash Compactor scene.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Emily, reacting to your WIWAW article : I find fascinating/painful the 'background hum' of where sexual exploitation/PTSD meets neurodivergence. My limited knowledge of autism from working with Temple Grandin and reading about Bears Kaufman and his son tells me that for many people 'on the spectrum' things 'being right' is very important. Where does one fit an experience of 'things being very wrong' into that world view? And then what does one do with the sequelae when the 'wrongness' echoes into relationships with others or 'sets one's rudder' in ways that one can't quite 'get'. Lots of strong stuff to explore.

You are totally losing me. And I can often comprehend weird shit.

Autistic women masturbate for the same reason as non-autistic women. It’s the same reason that men of whatever neurological persuasion do. It’s nice. It’s fulfiling. It’s comforting. Again I fall back on male and female nerve bundles in the genital areas not being wholly different, just differentiated by Y chromosomes.

When I see my SO’s face as he orgasms, I don’t think, “Wow, cannot relate to that at all.” What do you think?