MG's Dubious Dictionary

[minsue]

Ps. MinS: Do NOT view this one. MG

Maths, I have no self-control and must view all of them, but I definitely appreciate the warnings before I open! Thanks!!

Mindy, I second that. YUCKKKK!

More than the act, the position is what I found a lil off-putting.

The position is a bit...odd, isn't it? It makes my lower back hurt just looking at it.

- Mindy, becoming frightened at how easily I start analyzing these things

 

[shereads]

BALLGAG: A condition of the eyeball caused by looking at that last link.

 

[MathGirl]

Call for reader assistance...........

The attached picture was sent by a reader. It defies the Editor's powers to analyze and present what is actually going on. It appears to be some sort of piscatorial endeavor. Then again, it may be an unusual erotic ritual.

I am hoping readers will be able to help with this one, so I leave it open for those more learned than I.
MG

 

[shereads]

I dunno. But I'm giving up sushi.

 

[shereads]

PISCEONECTOMY: The removal of a fish-shaped growth from the male genitalia by means of a good, hard tug.

 

[MathGirl]

If one looks carefully at that picture, there appears to be a lady sitting there, watching the proceedings. I wonder what she thinks of the whole thing.
MG

 

[shereads]

If one looks carefully at that picture, there appears to be a lady sitting there, watching the proceedings. I wonder what she thinks of the whole thing.
MG

(1) She's wondering if it's a tumor or a fish, and how to prepare it once it's removed.

Or,

(2) She's relieved that he believed her when she told him that in her country, fellatio is traditionally performed by a fish while the woman watches.

 

[MathGirl]

( She's relieved that he believed her when she told him that in her country, fellatio is traditionally performed by a fish while the woman watches.

Dear Sher,
My aunt says that little ploy always works for her.
MG
Ps. Is it true?

 

[shereads]

Dear Sher,
My aunt says that little ploy always works for her.
MG
Ps. Is it true?

How sad that we are losing so many of our ancestors' folk traditions.

 

[MathGirl]

oopsie.

 

[NoJo]

This is the rare Columbian Blowfish. The jpg illustrates the most common means of capturing them -- by the way, the specimen in the picture is stuffed.

Blowfish can grow up to eighteen inches in length.

 

[MathGirl]

DIPHYSOTISM: That sinking feeling when one realizes that one's family has outgrown their means of transportation.
MG
Ps. If people would stop sending pictures, we might get over this insanity and return to the serenity of the Dubious Dictionary.
Pps. You should see the ones the Editor rejects.

 

[NoJo]

Thanks for cropping me from the pic, MG.

 

[The_Darkness]

A few more for the collection:

Ovinophile: One who derives joy from the buggering of sheep, or noting a resident of Montana.

Montanapologetic: One who excuses him or her self from rude comments suggesting what the residents of Montana do with their livestock.

Irish Conundrum: The more whiskey you drink, the less choosey you become at the bar, the more you regret it in the morning. Used in conjuction with coyote ugly

 

[minsue]

Pps. You should see the ones the Editor rejects.

No thanks, Maths. I think we should take up a collection for having to look at them at all.

- Mindy, gratefully

 

[MathGirl]

MOOIBOAHUA: Polynesian religious practice requiring ritual forearm coverings and shoes found washed up on the beach.

 

[MathGirl]

"ONE STAR" Hotel rooms receiving the lowest rating in the AAA Tour Book. Often found in crowded cities. Described as "clean, but providing only the most basic amenities. Room service not usually available."

 

[shereads]

MOOIBOAHUA: Polynesian religious practice requiring ritual forearm coverings and shoes found washed up on the beach.

Disproves the notion that one cannot work out too much.

 

[MathGirl]

LURCH'S PEERLESS ELONGATOR: A patented device to make short people taller. As seen in the photo, fans are attached to the subject to provide cooling during the procedure. Developed by Dr Joe Willie Lurch, University of Arkansas.

 

[MathGirl]

ROUGEACOUTURE: The wearing of red clothing by anorectics to make themselves appear more substantial.

 

[MathGirl]

FLORACOUTURE: The remarkable slimming effect of floral print fabrics when worn by seriously obese persons.

Ps. Someone sent me a picture, and I'm not sure whether to post it. It's a bit beyond the normal conservative, tasteful stuff I've been putting here. It involves a fat man, a bathtub, and autourolibationism. Should I possibly stretch the envelope of good taste?
MG
Ps. The fat man in the bathtub is also hairy, if that makes any difference.

 

[shereads]

Is this the Dictionary again, and did you skip some of the best vowels?

 

[MathGirl]

LAVATOPRUNISM: A syndrome caused by staying too long in the bathtub.
MG
Ps. Losing readership, here. Downloads have gone 13 ... 12... 11... 10.......
Pps. Perhaps a new product line is indicated.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

LAVATOPRUNISM: A syndrome caused by staying too long in the bathtub.
MG
Ps. Losing readership, here. Downloads have gone 13 ... 12... 11... 10.......
Pps. Perhaps a new product line is indicated.

Hey, isn't that the neighbor lady from There's Something About Mary?

Seems as though I've been scarred by a similar image in the past...

-E

 

[MathGirl]

Good grief!

XEROLAVATION: An experimental process to conserve water in drought-stricken areas. Bathtubs are used, but they are not hooked up to the municipal water supply. Development underway at the University of Arkansas. (Identity of sender witheld by request. Blackmail may follow. Ed.)

Ps. MinS may wish to avoid this one. Delicate sensibilities, you know.