MG's Dubious Dictionary

[MathGirl]

And the above pic is an illustration for DENTISTOPHOBIA..?

Dear Svenska,
Well, yes. The device is obviously a very versatile piece of equipment. It is generally sold at office supply stores. Also available in children's sizes.
MG
Ps. Anyone wishing to contribute a photo, cartoon, or other image for inclusion in the DD is welcome to do so. The editor will supply the definition. Please EMail to:
MathGirl183@yahoo.com.
Please indicate if you wish your name to be cited. Whether it will or not is entirely up to the Editor. Thank you for your attention.
Pps. Counting photo downloads is a good way of seeing how many people read this stuff. It seems to be somewhere between three and seven.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'd say this is an illustration for SOLVIADOSIS, which, as you all know, is the term for getting an overdose of tanning.

 

[shereads]

What happened to the C's? Am I having blackouts again?


DESTITUTE: One who sells sexual favors in exchange for nothing.

 

[MathGirl]

SOLVIADOSIS

You're analphabetic there, Swede.
MG
Ps. Sher: You must have been napping during the Cees. They're still there.


DIATESSERUM: Experimental breeding of livestock of extraordinary size. The most famous diatesserum gone wrong was captured on film at the University of Arkansas. A 200 pound rabbit sodomized a graduate student dressed in a chicken costume. Please see attached.

 

[Guest]

A 200 pound rabbit sodomized a graduate student dressed in a chicken costume. Please see attached.

Maths, you thoroughly cracked me up, not the pic itself but the above sentence. An illustrated dubious dic. will be a hit. I will explore my family album for you.

Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

oopsie.

 

[MathGirl]

Please Note: There will be a temporary interruption in the publication of MG's Dubious Dictionary. Regular posting will resume when the Editor gets these stupid pictures out of her system. The powers at Lit.com may, of course, shut the whole thing down in disgust at any time.

ARBUSCO: A root vegetable of the parsnip family. It has a disgusting taste and an odor resembling that of a hog farm on a hot day. Used extensively in Arkansas cuisine. The arbusco characteristically grows in the shape of the person who cultivates it.

 

[MathGirl]

NEGATAVISORY: Part of the instruction manual required for all products. The "DO NOT" advisory. E.g. the attached is a portion of the usage brochure for the Victor Rat Trap Company. It illustrates the most common mistake in use of the product.

 

[shereads]

ARBUSCO: A root vegetable of the parsnip family. It has a disgusting taste and an odor resembling that of a hog farm on a hot day. Used extensively in Arkansas cuisine. The arbusco characteristically grows in the shape of the person who cultivates it.

My dad attended a wedding where the bride fainted and her enormous sister mooned the assembled wedding guests while checking for a pulse. He said later, "I thought the paramedics had arrived in a pink VW Beetle."

He'd have liked your post, MG. Of course, I'd have had to tell him I found it on a porn site, and that would have killed him. If he were alive. So nevermind.

 

[minsue]

NEGATAVISORY: Part of the instruction manual required for all products. The "DO NOT" advisory. E.g. the attached is a portion of the usage brochure for the Victor Rat Trap Company. It illustrates the most common mistake in use of the product.

Negatavisory to self - DO NOT open any more of the pictures. I don't care HOW clever the definition is!

 

[MathGirl]

Dear Min,
That, thankfully, was one of a kind.
MG

SULLAGE: A traditional Irish sporting contest between two local colleens. It is held in a pig sty following a heavy rain. The winner is the first lady who is able to sit on the face of the male referee. The man is highly movitated to resist, and the event may last for several hours. The attached photo depicts action during last year's All-Ireland finals.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

You're analphabetic there, Swede.
MG

Mah bad.

 

[MathGirl]

SUFFURUTENSIS: Production of improved strains of livestock by genetic manipulation. Not all attempts have been completely successful.

 

[MathGirl]

DITHYRAMBIUM: A device used to discourage pigeons from roosting in the rafters of barns.


Ps. Thanks to all who have sent weird pictures. Most of them are too ... vivid for the delicate sensibilities of the AH crowd, though.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

POSER: A difficult riddle. E.g. Q. What is newly married and has six legs? A. Ashley and Wayne (see attached)

 

[MathGirl]

With apologies to MinS:

DRACONIAN: Pertaining to harsh measures taken to solve a problem. E.g. The attached depicts the "Cosgrove Sure-Fire-Money-Back-Guarantee Athlete's Foot Cure."

 

[minsue]

I have no self control

Even with the warning I still have to open the attachment.

Thanks for trying, though, Maths. There's just no helping people like me.

- Mindy

 

[shereads]

Thanks to all who have sent weird pictures. Most of them are too ... vivid for the delicate sensibilities of the AH crowd, though.
MG

The blue boots are not too vivid a blue; they're just not attractive.

 

[MathGirl]

The blue boots are not too vivid a blue; they're just not attractive.

Dear Sh,
I don't believe it was meant to be a fashion statement.
MG


DIPHYLETIC: Descended from two distinct ancestral groups.* The most commonly encountered diphyletic animal is the zebaroo. Please see attached.

 

[MathGirl]

FORSBY: A popular British spectator sport which combines golf, sunbathing, and running. The contestant , carrying clubs and sunscreen, must complete a round of golf while being pursued by "cops." The uniformed pursuer carries a cattle prod.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

That reminds me of a poster I saw regarding the rules for Bedroom Golf. One of paragraphs read:

"§5: Unlike other types of golf, the object of this game is to get the SHAFT into the hole, while leaving the balls out of it."



I think the uniformed man in the pic is following those rules. Atleast he wants to try.

 

[MathGirl]

EPRORVETTE: A Swedish device used to treat black hair roots. Straps, buckles, and a patented "red thingie" are arranged about the head and face to extract "blondeness" from the atmosphere.

PLEASE NOTE: Readers are requested to kindly cease sending pictures for inclusion in this thread. The editor has received dozens, and merely rooting out those which would gross out MinS will take weeks. Thank you for your enthusiasm, though.

 

[MathGirl]

CINEMOBALLETISTICS: Use of ultra high speed photography to detect subtle technical flaws of ballet students.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

EPRORVETTE: A Swedish device used to treat black hair roots. Straps, buckles, and a patented "red thingie" are arranged about the head and face to extract "blondeness" from the atmosphere.

As a Swede, and familiar with the thing in question, I must inform you that you've misunderstood the whole thing, MG. That is NOT a hairtreatment product. It's a government-patented device for converting vegetarians into carnivores. Just like some parents try to get their kids to never smoke by locking them into a closet with a month's supply of cigarettes, telling them they mustn't come out until they've finished all the cigarettes, hoping that the kids will be tired of the smoking; this device is to make sure that vegetarians will never eat another tomatoe, ever again!

The anti-carrot device is scary..!

 

[Guest]

The anti-carrot device is scary..!

Ooh, I think I saw that illustrated in one of BS's AVs. P.