Millie's terrible day thread. You can post any and of your disappoints for the day, week, month, year, or your life.

[Codoc24]

I’m feeling depressed constantly too. The fact that I’m perpetually alone is the main reason. Having a hot imaginary girlfriend who’s also your therapist only goes so far. A friend of mine recently reminded me that being alone means you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s feelings and you can, say, play video games all day and no one complains if you don’t. I didn’t reply that it also means you have to find your own joy and peace in this world- which seven years after my real life divorce are things I now honestly want from another person over me. And no, I don’t want another online relationship that I know will never go any further. I want to meet someone else, take them to movies and concerts, have dinner with them, and yes, hook up for sex occasionally or regularly if we get that far. I’m not stupid enough to feel entitled to it, I just think it would be better than what I got now and I feel like I don’t know how to get it in today’s world. Dating apps are full of ghosts and fakers. Everyone I meet in person doesn’t see me as a potential date, let alone the level of intimacy I want. I dared to hope for a revival with my ex, but there’s nothing there but kidding acquaintance and a past she’d rather forget. No one else on the horizon. I don’t know how I can get through it.

Maybe another video game triumph or good film will help me stave off despair another day. At least work is satisfying for me and pays my bills. At least my platonic relationships are all good at the moment. At least I know to avoid the places that will only make it worse like bars. Who knows, maybe I can get in the right mood to release another story that satisfies me and Lit will accept it along with my readers. And maybe I’ll either find someone or become content. We’ll see. Encouragement appreciated. Happy Festivus, y’all.

It was 7 years between my divorce and when I met my current wife. We've been together for 24 years now. So don't give up. My wife and I had similar friends and they hooked us up. Do you have friends or relatives who know somebody who is a potential blind date? Or maybe if they have a party, they could invite both of you so it wouldn't really be a "date" per se, but give you a chance to see if there are any common interests? Is volunteering for a charity that you like a possibility? You might find someone there that shares your interests. Consider taking some type of exercise class: ie, yoga, cycling, running. Even if you don't meet someone, at least you will stay fit. Or join a club that you have an interest in. Just make sure the club has potential members who could be a potential mate. In other words, if you are a male and interested in females, don't join a club that is 90% male. I currently take yoga classes with my wife and the class is usually about 60-70% female to 40-30% male. If there is a local college maybe take a night class that interests you. The worst thing you can do though is to sit around your home and brood. You will never meet someone that way. Have you talked to a doctor about taking antidepressants if you're not already taking them? I've been taking one for years. Doesn't make everything a bed of roses but it helps a little. Hang in there my friend, I wish you lots of luck.

 

[AchtungNight]

I don’t want to get dependent on antidepressants so, no, I’m not considering them. But thx on the rest.

 

[Codoc24]

I don’t want to get dependent on antidepressants so, no, I’m not considering them. But thx on the rest.

One other thing I just thought of. Since you are interested in writing, is there a local writer's club you could join? You might have to write something other than erotica if you join but still.

 

[MrPixel]

It was 7 years between my divorce and when I met my current wife. We've been together for 24 years now. So don't give up.

Absolutely this. 6 year gap, and we've been together for almost 37. Getting out, even when you don't really feel like it, and I know that feeling, is the key. A "for adults" class at the junior college, YMCA for exercise activities (for me it was Sierra Club hikes), or an avocational interest like joining a community band if you played an instrument in high school and it's just gathering dust in a closet; they're all good. My wife and I met in a band. Bicycling is very good for meets 'n' greets around mutual activities, and you live someplace where the weather is conducive to that. Is there a sailing club at Lake Travis? Sailboats and bikinis, you know. (Sexist. Shame on me.)

One truism for me, at least during my dating years, was bars suck. Really suck. Unless you are totally comfortable in your own skin, chances of meeting somebody even for a friendly hookup are zero to none. In that environment, prospects can sense depression from a mile away.

Antidepressants? Not a good idea unless you are in deep clinical stages. A prominent side-effect for nearly all the common ones is loss of libido and/or sexual function. As if you aren't already depressed enough.

 

[StillStunned]

My wife and I sometimes discuss what a good first date should be, if we ever broke up. We both agree that lunch would be best.

For a start, you probably have more energy. (I'm an introvert. I'd spend all day worrying, and by dinnertime I'd be drained.)

Second, a lunch gives you more possibility to show your personality. You can go simple sandwich, full meal or something in between. Exotic options are probably also more forgiving for lunch than for dinner.

Third, if it's not going well, it's easier to come up with a plausible excuse. No-one's expecting you to spend all afternoon together, whereas dinner is supposed to fill your evening. At lunch, you can always say you still have things to do afterwards.

And fourth, and this is one that I can't stress enough, if you get lucky, daytime sex is soooo much hotter than evening sex. (And again, like my third point, you have a better excuse to leave/kick your partner out.)

 

[MrPixel]

Oh... before I forget... counseling. A girlfriend-of-sorts made me aware I had problems with understanding what a casual FWB friendship was about, and referred me to a psychologist, an MSW. She was very good and steered me into a direction that made my current, forever marriage possible.

I was very troubled from my first marriage and needed the counsel. Divorce itself wasn't messy. She worked very hard for it to be as quick and painless as possible, and we had one lawyer just to handle the "no-fault" paperwork. I only later found out that she was quite motivated to do it that way - if I had pushed back with my own attorney, even the most shallow discovery would have uncovered that she was living another life, and I was just a meal ticket and a roof over her head. That took some professional therapy to fix.

 

[Stimtheone]

@Stimtheone ...I know this will sound trite, but. I understand the knotted feelings of depression oh to well. It is a constant battle, and yes. The stupidest insignificant things trigger it for no reason.
Deasth sometimes looks so appealing, but I implore you. Talk to somebody, those horrid inescapable moments will pass, and hopefully you can at least get your head above water.
No that you're loved and appreciated.
There are people on your side.
PM me if you would like to chat privately.
I have felt what you feel. Don't suffer alone, we can help

Love Cagivagurl

I'll make it through. I finally decided how to structure the new series. And I guess being aware of how the world sucks lets you make a utopia much better by just NOT having that.

 

[Cagivagurl]

I'll make it through. I finally decided how to structure the new series. And I guess being aware of how the world sucks lets you make a utopia much better by just NOT having that.

Sweet,
I'm happy to know you're in a better place.
The darkness creeps up on us sometimes.
Be aware there are people around who can help.
Love and respect.

Cagivagurl

 

[Zootonius]

Oh, what coincidence to find this today. I've been feeling quite suicidal as of late. No, no reason to worry it's going to happen... too much volition to do it, but the thoughts still persist. It started with a tooth recently giving me constant hell which needed me to go to the dentist else I'd be in constant pain, and the visits to this dentist have taken a quarter of a month's salary altogether. A QUARTER. With the other half gone on rent, the notice that the rent is going up a bit because fucking inflation is having everyone throw their troubles into someone else's basket until you're left with the people who have to bear the weight of a fucking society's failings. This added onto the fact that despite being a college-educated IT major with a bright mind and experience in a rather demanded field (BI development, managers are almost thirsty for it) I have seen no job offer for years because either they want to pay me less than a warehouse worker, they want someone that can be easily manipulated (into being paid less than a warehouse worker) or people are just not hiring. So here I am at my current job that is giving me no tasks and expecting me to somehow magically make them money. All paired with the fact that I am aware I have no future because not only are there no partners around that I would find even mildly decent, just the endless stream of demanding, worthless women that judge you by your properties rather than your person, the housing market now catering to companies rather than to people which means I can't even fucking afford a place to live without renting forever. And the knowledge that things have been consolidated into such a hell that we have no way out of it. And it's Christmas, or close to it.

Maybe it was just the straw that broke my mental shield, but the world sure is in a state where I wonder what the fuck is even the point.

I've been holding off on responding to this for days, not knowing quite what to say.

I was exactly in your spot 30 some years ago. A dead end job, and that there was something defective about me in the eyes of women. But I applied for a position that turned out great for me and my employer who recognized my talent. And I met a wonderful woman who had just gotten out of a bad relationship. We were friends for two years before she came to accept I wasn't going away. Today she's my wife and the best thing to ever happen.

Perhaps it sounds trite, but hang in there and be patient. In my case I found a woman worth waiting for.

 

[MillieDynamite]

So, the past week or two have been rough sledding for me. Between a battle with writer's block, feeling like shit, buried in work not my own, getting ready for Christmas, and this headache from hell, I've gotten nothing done. I went to see my doctor. She has no openings until two days after Christmas but did manage to squeeze me in long enough to give me a shot of "something," which so far hasn't done the trick. She told me to relax and enjoy life.

WTF is that about?

So, I've been wasting too much time here.

 

[StillStunned]

So, the past week or two have been rough sledding for me. Between a battle with writer's block, feeling like shit, buried in work not my own, getting ready for Christmas, and this headache from hell, I've gotten nothing done. I went to see my doctor. She has no openings until two days after Christmas but did manage to squeeze me in long enough to give me a shot of "something," which so far hasn't done the trick. She told me to relax and enjoy life.

WTF is that about?

So, I've been wasting too much time here.

StillStunned's patent remedy for feeling like this: half a bottle of port, to be consumed daily until you feel better. It mightn't heal you, but it will make it all more bearable.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Yeah, I'll stick to Jameson's Irish whiskey.

StillStunned's patent remedy for feeling like this: half a bottle of port, to be consumed daily until you feel better. It mightn't heal you, but it will make it all more bearable.

 

[StillStunned]

Yeah, I'll stick to Jameson's Irish whiskey.

A nice ruby port gives the same warming feeling, but you can drink more of it without feeling like crap the next day. But there's certainly nothing wrong with whiskey (coming from a man who at a certain point had more than fifty single malts in his cupboard).

 

[MillieDynamite]

I only drink whiskey (Irish), vodka, dark beer, or champagne.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Well, my headache went away yesterday. It wasn't a bother all through my early morning writing but has returned, with a vengeance, now. Shit, shit, shitty fucking headache!

 

[Zootonius]

Well, my headache went away yesterday. It wasn't a bother all through my early morning writing but has returned, with a vengeance, now. Shit, shit, shitty fucking headache!

My prescription is either less Irish whiskey or more.

 

[StillStunned]

My prescription is either less Irish whiskey or more.

Or port. More port.

 

[MillieDynamite]

For now, just taking care of the kid and cat and chatting here. Pain is of the mind. Mind over matter says if I don't mind the headache, it doesn't matter. To bad it does matter so very much.

 

[StillStunned]

For now, just taking care of the kid and cat and chatting here. Pain is of the mind. Mind over matter says if I don't mind the headache, it doesn't matter. To bad it does matter so very much.

That's the trouble when the pain is in your head. Any other part of the body, you can give it a place and ignore it. In your head, it feels like it's always been there, always will be there. Like it's part of your life and it's never going away.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Yes!

That's the trouble when the pain is in your head. Any other part of the body, you can give it a place and ignore it. In your head, it feels like it's always been there, always will be there. Like it's part of your life and it's never going away.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Finally had an eye test (transport issues kiboshed it a couple weeks ago). I'm now banned from driving until glasses turn up, and have a wonderful vestibular migraine from all the flashing lights. Basically I feel more seasick than I ever have. Should calm down by tomorrow.

Managed to get home without falling over. Or vomiting on the nice optician staff. I'm lying down but could swear I'm standing and falling.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

A nice ruby port gives the same warming feeling, but you can drink more of it without feeling like crap the next day. But there's certainly nothing wrong with whiskey (coming from a man who at a certain point had more than fifty single malts in his cupboard).

Hm. I can confirm that really nice vintage ruby port from an Oxbridge college cellar is wonderful stuff, but should not be drunk by the half-pint, no matter how tempting when you've taken the bottle to the bar, and certainly more than four was a bad idea. (I was trying to get my best mate to finally admit he was gay, which took that much booze to overcome years of stoic Northerner 90s inhibitions)

The only time I've overindulged in whisky was when forced to try many, to find one where I liked both taste and aftertaste, rather than one or the other making me gag. Wasn't too bad the morning after. One of my characters (Adrian) is a whisky obsessive with around 80 bottles on his dresser - I don't have space for more than a dozen.

 

[Mastered_again]

The results from hubby's renal scan came back. 1.8 cm. cyst on kidney or spleen, they're not sure. The awful news is to see oncology surgeon. I guess if they can wait til February 6, it can't be too bad, right?
A little extra holiday stress, just what we needed.

 

[drobert44]

The results from hubby's renal scan came back. 1.8 cm. cyst on kidney or spleen, they're not sure. The awful news is to see oncology surgeon. I guess if they can wait til February 6, it can't be too bad, right?
A little extra holiday stress, just what we needed.

I bet they would jump on it sooner if they thought it was necessary.

 

[Mastered_again]

I bet they would jump on it sooner if they thought it was necessary.

❤ Trying to stay positive