More signs of the apocalypse

[oggbashan]

The sun is shining...

...with God on top of Man on top of Woman on top of Beasts.

Making love on horseback is uncomfortable and frightens the horses.

Og (experto credite)

 

[Carl East]

I got an erection this morning, for no apparent reason. I also found that the milk had soured. Now my left nut is itching, these things all point to one inescapable conclusion, I'm not getting any.

Carl

 

[neonlyte]

I got an erection this morning, for no apparent reason. I also found that the milk had soured.
Carl

This will always be one of lifes profound mysteries.

Apart from that, how are things Carl?

NL

 

[Carl East]

This will always be one of lifes profound mysteries.

Apart from that, how are things Carl?

NL

What, the erection or the soured cream?

I'm fine thanks, well I will be when the blood that's holding this thing up returns.

Carl

ps Good day to everyone in cyberland.

 

[Guest]

. . . Now my left nut is itching, these things all point to one inescapable conclusion, I'm not getting any.

Carl

Don't men always scratch their balls?

 

[Guest]

Hi Carl. I love 'for no apparent reason' erections. You blokes are so cool.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

Hi Carl. I love 'for no apparent reason' erections. You blokes are so cool.

Perdita

Mmmmm, morning boners are pretty nice, too!

 

[Guest]

Aw, Sarahh. I love that term, 'morning boners'. Remember them well, with an aching nostalgia actually. P.

 

[Guest]

Aw, Sarahh. I love that term, 'morning boners'. Remember them well, with an aching nostalgia actually. P.

 

[Carl East]

Hi Carl. I love 'for no apparent reason' erections. You blokes are so cool.

Perdita

Hi ya gorgeous, I think my boner was due in no small part to all the lovely ladies of Lit. Now give me a



Carl

 

[Somme]

All's green.......the toaster didn't 'ave a boner........no, that's not right....but it WAS plugged in.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I got an erection this morning, for no apparent reason ... these things all point to one inescapable conclusion, I'm not getting any....

This shows how bad a design you are.

Frequent dispatching of blood to what is — at that moment — an unnecessary appendage, retards attainment of achievable goals.

Like a city plagued by waves of false fire alarms that deploy its fire department away from any possible real fire, this spontaneous event of priapism retards blood from reaching your brain, where it may have assisted in the invention of a plot to actually get you laid.




Would someone assist me with my vocabulary? This is my first use of the new word: “priapism.” Could anyone tell me if it’s usage is correct?

 

[Guest]

from Ask Jeeves:

Priapism is a prolonged and painful erection that can last from several hours up to a few days. The priapismic erection is NOT associated with sexual thoughts or sexual activity. What happens is that blood flows into the penis, but is unable to drain as it would in a normally flaccid penis. Considering that the penis provides little room for blood to circulate, the blood becomes stagnant after a while, acidifies, and loses oxygen. Without oxygen, the red blood cells become stiff, and even less able to squeeze their way out of the penis.

Very few cases of priapism are without an obvious cause. In most cases, priapism results from one of two things: certain medications or medical conditions. Under the category of medications, there are two primary culprits. For one, penile injections used to treat some forms of impotence can cause priapism; however, this usually only happens when a man decides, on his own, to increase the dosage. Second, psychiatric medications, such as anti-depressants, seem to cause some cases of priapism; however, how these drugs affect priapism is unclear. The second major cause of priapism is certain medical conditions and diseases -- generally, any that cause the blood to thicken, or cause red blood cells to lose their flexibility and mobility. Sickle-cell anemia and leukemia are probably the most common conditions that cause priapism.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Okay, I used it incorrectly, but you reminded me of a television ad for a Viagra-substitute drug, listing undesirable side-effects. It mentioned “If an erection lasts longer that four hours, contact a physician.”

And I thought, “Do that, or else take this as your best opportunity, to talk your wife into consenting to a threesome.”

 

[shereads]

great movies were meant to be seen in B&W ... color film is a sign the end is coming

Ann Heche in a movie is usually a sign that the end won't come soon enough.

 

[SlickTony]

Aw, I thought she was cute in that comedy that Harrison Ford in it, I forget its name.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Aw, I thought she was cute in that comedy that Harrison Ford in it, I forget its name.

Six Days, Seven Nights?

~lucky

 

[SlickTony]

Yeah, that was the one.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Yeah, that was the one.

Are you like me where that bugged you all day, not knowing?



~lucky

 

[SlickTony]

I figured that someone with a better memory than mine would come up with that one.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I figured that someone with a better memory than mine would come up with that one.

Well I have a steel trap for a memory.

~lucky

 

[shereads]

People! It's the end of the world! Who cares about Ann Heche? Those aliens she speaks to should have told her to warn us about some of this stuff.

If the cheese doesn't alarm you, what about the apricots? What about Carl's unexplained morning erection? It's the end of all things!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I would hide in the basement, but the Mole people will get me first when they take over the world.

 

[Guest]

People! It's the end of the world! Who cares about Ann Heche? Those aliens she speaks to should have told her to warn us about some of this stuff.

If the cheese doesn't alarm you, what about the apricots? What about Carl's unexplained morning erection? It's the end of all things!

Indeed!

And, what about a deaf dog destroying my favourite bush in my back garden?

It wasn't even my dog. Someone turned up with it on my doorstep and thought my Billy would like to play with it. Damn thing was as yappy as hell. It's a little Jack Russel and it scared the living daylights out of my big brave (yeah, right!) Border Collie.

And, it destroyed my bush.

That's a sign, if ever there was one.

Lou

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Indeed!

And, what about a deaf dog destroying my favourite bush in my back garden?

It wasn't even my dog. Someone turned up with it on my doorstep and thought my Billy would like to play with it. Damn thing was as yappy as hell. It's a little Jack Russel and it scared the living daylights out of my big brave (yeah, right!) Border Collie.

And, it destroyed my bush.

That's a sign, if ever there was one.

Lou

Was that the burning bush that talks?