More signs of the apocalypse

[Carl East]

What about Carl's unexplained morning erection?[/i] It's the end of all things!

To top it off I've now got an itchy ring piece, and my erections come back. We're all doomed.

Carl

 

[Guest]

Was that the burning bush that talks?

Yes. Except the fire's gone out and it has lost the power of speech.

Lou

 

[Guest]

To top it off I've now got an itchy ring piece, and my erections come back. We're all doomed.

Carl

You've got an itchy what what? Sounds worrying, I think you could be right!

Lou

 

[shereads]

Indeed!

And, what about a deaf dog destroying my favourite bush in my back garden?

It wasn't even my dog. Someone turned up with it on my doorstep and thought my Billy would like to play with it. Damn thing was as yappy as hell. It's a little Jack Russel and it scared the living daylights out of my big brave (yeah, right!) Border Collie.

And, it destroyed my bush.

That's a sign, if ever there was one.

Lou

And we shall yap but shall not hear thee.

~ Canines 12:3:47

 

[shereads]

To top it off I've now got an itchy ring piece, and my erections come back. We're all doomed.

Carl

I'm not sure what you mean. If it's a rash, should you be posting at the General Board for a day or two until it clears up?

 

[Guest]

And we shall yap but shall not hear thee.

~ Canines 12:3:47

Oh god!

(coffee sputter)

 

[Guest]

And we shall yap but shall not hear thee.

~ Canines 12:3:47

LOL!

I missed this earlier. Brilliant!

http://mindscraps.com/s/otn/laughing/icon_smile_lachuh.gif

Lou

 

[Guest]

I know She posted in response to Lou's comment, but at first I wondered if she was referring to amicus . . .

 

[cloudy]

I know She posted in response to Lou's comment, but at first I wondered if she was referring to amicus . . .

LMAO!!!!!

 

[Carl East]

Something is definitely wrong, I don't feel horny today. I haven't had an erection for at least four hours, which in turn is making me feel intelligent. Do men go through the change of life, this could explain it all.

If these are signs of the end, then I can only hope for one thing. When the end comes, I want Honey covering it.

Carl

 

[Guest]

If these are signs of the end, then I can only hope for one thing. When the end comes, I want Honey covering it.

Carl

. . . and here I assumed you'd wish to cover Honey's end!

 

[Carl East]

. . . and here I assumed you'd wish to cover Honey's end!

Both work for me. lol

Carl

 

[Carl East]

Verily, it was noted that the first sign would be the discarding of thine holy cheese. And the horsemen would be spotted, going in the wrong direction. A doom sayer, would then declare that the end was nigh.

These signs are all undeniable, but what of the end of days?

On the second day a random indescribable fruiting would be noted along with a young man acting galantly. (At this point, it must be noted that 'Shereads,' is still on the same page in her book as she was two weeks ago.)

Then and only then, would a complete nutter distract us all with her mention of the attack from Fromage, squared and glossed over. And in exposing her teat, it shall bring forth the erection that so blinded the women.

But Sweetsub would see through this vain attempt of seduction and name the cheese the beast. And doggie poo will vanish without a trace, leaving the owner smiling.

Then suddenly there will be a disturbance, and the erection shall reappear. And once again the observant sweetsub will note that all men shall scratch their balls. And on the final day, my erection shall dissipate, leaving me in no doubt that the end is near.

Yet Shereads will still be reading her book, go figure. lol

Carl

 

[cloudy]

Verily, it was noted that the first sign would be the discarding of thine holy cheese. And the horsemen would be spotted, going in the wrong direction. A doom sayer, would then declare that the end was nigh.

These signs are all undeniable, but what of the end of days?

On the second day a random indescribable fruiting would be noted along with a young man acting galantly. (At this point, it must be noted that 'Shereads,' is still on the same page in her book as she was two weeks ago.)

Then and only then, would a complete nutter distract us all with her mention of the attack from Fromage, squared and glossed over. And in exposing her teat, it shall bring forth the erection that so blinded the women.

But Sweetsub would see through this vain attempt of seduction and name the cheese the beast. And doggie poo will vanish without a trace, leaving the owner smiling.

Then suddenly there will be a disturbance, and the erection shall reappear. And once again the observant sweetsub will note that all men shall scratch their balls. And on the final day, my erection shall dissipate, leaving me in no doubt that the end is near.

Yet Shereads will still be reading her book, go figure. lol

Carl

But, lo! The temptresses of the AH shall hear his plea, and they shall come and succor him in his distress.

The fromage shall be forgotten, and all shall again behold the erection.

 

[Carl East]

But, lo! The temptresses of the AH shall hear his plea, and they shall come and succor him in his distress.

The fromage shall be forgotten, and all shall again behold the erection.

And thus he will be happy once again, and find comfort in the suckoring.

Carl

 

[Guest]

... it shall bring forth the erection that so blinded the women.

Carl, that is a brilliant line. You need to write more of this stuff, you're very good. Make me larf, at any rate.

Perdita

 

[Carl East]

Carl, that is a brilliant line. You need to write more of this stuff, you're very good. Make me larf, at any rate.

Perdita

Thank you darling, that is high praise indeed coming from a beauty such as yourself. My intention was to make everyone laugh, because in my humble opinion laughter is in short supply. Now then, what can this erection really mean. Is it a sign that I'm going to get some.

Carl

 

[Guest]

Is it a sign that I'm going to get some.

If I were on your side of the Atlantic it would. P.

 

[Carl East]

If I were on your side of the Atlantic it would. P.

TEASE!!

The way I feel at the moment Predita, you'd be walking like you'd just been riding a horse for a week by the time I'd finished with you. Damn that pond.



Carl

 

[ABSTRUSE]

And Lo, the erection stood, unwavering and solid in the clenches of itchy balls.
The scribe, her eyes still on her book, was no where to be found.

The warrior maiden told stories of the origin.

A swede was suffering from multiple accidents.

Computers crashed,
Yet knowledge spewed forth from the bowels of erotic smutminers veins,
vowels, nouns, verbs and adjectives,
splattered across an unseen space.

and there was laughter,

for someone, somewhere stepped in the dog poop.

 

[shereads]

A surer sign of the apocalypse than hell freezing over is this news: contrary to our belief in the essential goodness of mankind which makes government interference in the capitalist system unnecessary, there are tape recordings of Enron executives enjoying a hearty laugh at the expense of Californians who endured rolling blackouts and disastrously high energy costs thanks to manipulation of the market by energy companies.

If we can't trust the executives of America's most politically influential companies, who can we trust?



Another illusion shattered.

 

[Somme]

...just read it........

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

And then in the chaos, something occurred that followed all logical guidelines and the universe vindicated collapsed in itself and disappeared into its afterlife. No one noticed.

 

[Carl East]

And low, miscreants such as LC shall attempt to fool us into believing the end came and went unnoticed. Whilst the true believers never falter in their belief that the golden rod shall be stroked, and held in awe.

The temptress known as Predita will succumb to the erotic advances of Carl's erect manifold of love. And they shall all rejoice when she who reads finally finishes her book. And verily I say unto thee, the doggie poop is a clue to unlocking the secrets of the universe.

Cloudy will cum and scream the beasts name, but her savior known as ABS will vanquish the beast with words begining with 'F' and so, on the last day the women will rejoice for standing proud is the rod of love.

Carl

 

[Guest]

Oh, Carl, please stop... no, don't... keep going, yes... I'm so close, uh, ummm...

Perdita