My anger Rant for the day

[MarvelGuy]

delete

 

[dollface007]

I know I shouldn't be complaining because if she didnt get her period then I would then be a daddy, I can deal with everything (even the no sex) but its the mood changes.

1 second she is giggling and happy as I make her a grilled cheese.....5 seconds later we are arguing about our relationship because she doesn't think we will "make it" we are both 21 (we have been together since gr 9...yes gr 9) So seven years, and I have been putting money on an engagement ring for about 6 months now and I've almost got it paid off....but these "talks" about the impending doom of our relationships is driving me crazy!

And on another note...

During sex.....we no after sex, like after mind blowing, her having 4-5 orgasms and squirting all over the place (I know what everyone is thinking..ya ya ya bull shit, but no I can get her to squirt almost everytime we have sex) but everytime she is sitting still she is rubbing her clit? Why? we just had sex.....sometimes for the 3rd time that day! and your rubbing off still.....why?

Drives me nuts.

end of rant for the day.

Don't get married to this woman. Anyone who would wish to deny someone their own sexual pleasure like you are doing to her is a selfish lover and completely insecure and immature. Dump her. You'll be doing her a favor.

The mood swings are bugging you because she's has a point. You aren't going to make it. Sorry to have to be so blunt, but get over yourself and your own sexual talents. They are worthless in light of your selfishness.

 

[Mac98]

Don't get married to this woman. Anyone who would wish to deny someone their own sexual pleasure like you are doing to her is a selfish lover and completely insecure and immature. Dump her. You'll be doing her a favor.

The mood swings are bugging you because she's has a point. You aren't going to make it. Sorry to have to be so blunt, but get over yourself and your own sexual talents. They are worthless in light of your selfishness.

I think you missed the point of an anger rant...

 

[TBKahuna123]

Don't get married to this woman. Anyone who would wish to deny someone their own sexual pleasure like you are doing to her is a selfish lover and completely insecure and immature. Dump her. You'll be doing her a favor.

The mood swings are bugging you because she's has a point. You aren't going to make it. Sorry to have to be so blunt, but get over yourself and your own sexual talents. They are worthless in light of your selfishness.

WOah woah woah, what the fuck? Selfish? Selfish because a 21 year old doesn't handle a woman's mood swings? Selfish because he doesn't understand why she's still rubbing her clit after what is by all accounts great sex? Selfish for thinking he must be doing something wrong? Holy shit, he's a 21, year old male. He not selfish, just completely clueless, like every other 21 year old male. At least he has the courage to ask. How about offering some useful information instead of sarcastic ridicule? How else are these kids going to learn anything?

Now on that note, as I said above MarvelGuy, you're 21 so you don't know half as much as you may think you do. Knowing THAT is half the battle.

First off, the fact that she is rubbing her clit means nothing. First off, nto all women orgasm from penetration. Second, a clitoral orgasm is different from one achieved through penetration(kinda), so maybe she just wants that different stimulation. Women aren't like us, once we pop, we're done, at least for a while. Women don't necessarily lose their desire or arousal after 1 orgasm or 10 for that matter. The fact that she's rubbing her clit has nothing to do with you or your ability to satisfy her. I say join in, take the initiative and rub her clit for her!

As for the mood swings, You've got one choice and one choice only: suck it up and deal. I feel your pain. The infertility drugs my wife is taking have given her a series of mood swings that neither one of us was prepared for. I've just had to learn to not take things too personally. Some women experience more powerful mood swings than others. Chances are she'll never change, it's just a part of who she is.

In my opinion the two are probably tied together. My wife's mood swings are triggered by the progesterone she's taking, which also has the side effect of increasing her sex drive. It could be that your girlfriend just has higher levels or more fluctuating levels of hormones, which cause the mood swings and a higher sex drive. That's a part of who she is. If you stay together you'll have to deal with the mood swings and work a little harder to satisfy her sexual appetite.

The cure all: sex toys and Haagen Dasz! At least that's what my wife suggests.

 

[Eilan]

I think you missed the point of an anger rant...

I think the OP missed the point of this forum.

 

[bailadora]

Chances are she'll never change, it's just a part of who she is.

QFT. Assume this is as good as it gets. If you seriously can't handle the mood swings, reconsider spending your life with this woman. You think they're bad now, Skippy? You ain't seen nothing yet. Try to imagine her 3 weeks postpartum!

 

[SweetErika]

Maybe you two should take a break from this relationship, see what dating other people is like since neither of you has had the chance to do that, then see if you're enough of a match to get married.

If she's worrying that much about making it now, it's not going to get better with marriage, more stress and a kid.

And, WTF? I know you're only 21, but you should be mature enough to be using several forms of birth control if your relationship is in question and you're not ready to be the best parents you can be (99.99% of 21 year olds in our culture aren't ready mentally, emotionally or financially). Seriously, if it's taking you that long to buy an engagement ring, how the hell do you think you're going to afford a kid? We have a 10 month old, and even though we're saving everywhere we can, he's a money pit. A really cute, lovable one, but we've already spent about 8 times what my engagement ring cost.

 

[Adrraiya]

I know I shouldn't be complaining because if she didnt get her period then I would then be a daddy, I can deal with everything (even the no sex) but its the mood changes.

1 second she is giggling and happy as I make her a grilled cheese.....5 seconds later we are arguing about our relationship because she doesn't think we will "make it" we are both 21 (we have been together since gr 9...yes gr 9) So seven years, and I have been putting money on an engagement ring for about 6 months now and I've almost got it paid off....but these "talks" about the impending doom of our relationships is driving me crazy!

And on another note...

During sex.....we no after sex, like after mind blowing, her having 4-5 orgasms and squirting all over the place (I know what everyone is thinking..ya ya ya bull shit, but no I can get her to squirt almost everytime we have sex) but everytime she is sitting still she is rubbing her clit? Why? we just had sex.....sometimes for the 3rd time that day! and your rubbing off still.....why?

Drives me nuts.

end of rant for the day.

You say this is a rant.... but you put it in How-To

you have gotten some good advice so far...
but I want to add a few things

some of us women have many different types of orgasms.. that come from different types of stimulus.... for example, I have been able to identify at least 7 different types of orgasm that I experience..... sometimes there might be one or two that didn't get done & feel like they are on the edge... and more stimulus gets the rest of what could be done taken care of.....

second, when I was 21.... if my then-husband & I didn't have to work... I would have been happy to stay in sex-mode... getting excited, getting off, getting excited again..... the truth is my sexual needs were not-so-healthy and overwhelming... but... constant...... and I had to learn how to control my sexuality instead of it controlling me

lastly, given her mood swings, has anyone ruled in or out things like bi-polar?
I say this because hyper-sexuality and mental illness often times (but not all the time) run hand-in-hand... and for many folks with anxiety disorders and/or depression, orgasms and sexual excitement distract from the feelings of anxiety and/or depression.....



just a few things to take into consideration

 

[fuckmeat]

If she has a crazy high sex drive and richter scale PMT, there's a chance that some hormonal imbalance is at work here. Try to make her see how difficult you find her behaviour sometimes (without being accusatory or anything) and encourage her to go her doctor for a blood test that will rule this out. If she's on hormonal birth control, it may well be that whatever she's taking isn't right for her, so she should be re-assessed.

 

[MarvelGuy]

Don't get married to this woman. Anyone who would wish to deny someone their own sexual pleasure like you are doing to her is a selfish lover and completely insecure and immature. Dump her. You'll be doing her a favor.

The mood swings are bugging you because she's has a point. You aren't going to make it. Sorry to have to be so blunt, but get over yourself and your own sexual talents. They are worthless in light of your selfishness.

I'm not a fan of this answer. Did they take you off your meds today? Is that why your angry?

WOah woah woah, what the fuck? Selfish? Selfish because a 21 year old doesn't handle a woman's mood swings? Selfish because he doesn't understand why she's still rubbing her clit after what is by all accounts great sex? Selfish for thinking he must be doing something wrong? Holy shit, he's a 21, year old male. He not selfish, just completely clueless, like every other 21 year old male. At least he has the courage to ask. How about offering some useful information instead of sarcastic ridicule? How else are these kids going to learn anything?

Now on that note, as I said above MarvelGuy, you're 21 so you don't know half as much as you may think you do. Knowing THAT is half the battle.

First off, the fact that she is rubbing her clit means nothing. First off, nto all women orgasm from penetration. Second, a clitoral orgasm is different from one achieved through penetration(kinda), so maybe she just wants that different stimulation. Women aren't like us, once we pop, we're done, at least for a while. Women don't necessarily lose their desire or arousal after 1 orgasm or 10 for that matter. The fact that she's rubbing her clit has nothing to do with you or your ability to satisfy her. I say join in, take the initiative and rub her clit for her!

As for the mood swings, You've got one choice and one choice only: suck it up and deal. I feel your pain. The infertility drugs my wife is taking have given her a series of mood swings that neither one of us was prepared for. I've just had to learn to not take things too personally. Some women experience more powerful mood swings than others. Chances are she'll never change, it's just a part of who she is.

In my opinion the two are probably tied together. My wife's mood swings are triggered by the progesterone she's taking, which also has the side effect of increasing her sex drive. It could be that your girlfriend just has higher levels or more fluctuating levels of hormones, which cause the mood swings and a higher sex drive. That's a part of who she is. If you stay together you'll have to deal with the mood swings and work a little harder to satisfy her sexual appetite.

The cure all: sex toys and Haagen Dasz! At least that's what my wife suggests.

Haagen Dasz eh? Alrighty your answer takes the cake. And yeah the sex toy thing, I'd love to see her play, but she seems scared of them.

I think the OP missed the point of this forum.

Maybe you two should take a break from this relationship, see what dating other people is like since neither of you has had the chance to do that, then see if you're enough of a match to get married.

If she's worrying that much about making it now, it's not going to get better with marriage, more stress and a kid.

And, WTF? I know you're only 21, but you should be mature enough to be using several forms of birth control if your relationship is in question and you're not ready to be the best parents you can be (99.99% of 21 year olds in our culture aren't ready mentally, emotionally or financially). Seriously, if it's taking you that long to buy an engagement ring, how the hell do you think you're going to afford a kid? We have a 10 month old, and even though we're saving everywhere we can, he's a money pit. A really cute, lovable one, but we've already spent about 8 times what my engagement ring cost.

Umm, she is on the pill, and I use condoms (with the whole spermiside gelly). I am 21 yes but I am not stupid.

 

[SweetErika]

Umm, she is on the pill, and I use condoms (with the whole spermiside gelly). I am 21 yes but I am not stupid.

I'm sorry. Your first post made it sound like you were risking it, or even trying to get pregnant. I didn't assume you were stupid, just that your behavior was off and shortsighted. Believe me, I know the feeling of wanting to reproduce before the time is right; my biological clock was annoyingly loud long before we decided to try to conceive. Hormonal BC plus condoms is a fantastic choice for protection.

I think Adrraiya and Fuckmeat are on the right track regarding checking for mental illness and hormonal issues. I had a real issue with one birth control pill I tried way back when my husband and I were first dating. He almost dumped me over my bitchiness and mood swings. And I could see myself acting that way, but I just couldn't stop it. I went on much lower dose pill, and everything was fine again (well, until I figured out that the pill in general was causing a bunch of problems, like migraines and sexual issues). So, there may very well be something else at work here.

I still stand by my suggestion of taking a break. Doing that now could greatly reduce the chances of one or both of you cheating down th line. You don't want to go into a marriage questioning the match and who else might be out there. Have you asked her if this is something she's thought about, wants or needs?

 

[Adrraiya]

I'm sorry. Your first post made it sound like you were risking it, or even trying to get pregnant. I didn't assume you were stupid, just that your behavior was off and shortsighted. Believe me, I know the feeling of wanting to reproduce before the time is right; my biological clock was annoyingly loud long before we decided to try to conceive. Hormonal BC plus condoms is a fantastic choice for protection.

I think Adrraiya and Fuckmeat are on the right track regarding checking for mental illness and hormonal issues. I had a real issue with one birth control pill I tried way back when my husband and I were first dating. He almost dumped me over my bitchiness and mood swings. And I could see myself acting that way, but I just couldn't stop it. I went on much lower dose pill, and everything was fine again (well, until I figured out that the pill in general was causing a bunch of problems, like migraines and sexual issues). So, there may very well be something else at work here.

I still stand by my suggestion of taking a break. Doing that now could greatly reduce the chances of one or both of you cheating down th line. You don't want to go into a marriage questioning the match and who else might be out there. Have you asked her if this is something she's thought about, wants or needs?

I was on birth control when younger also... and, like Erika I had similar problems.. and on birth control, I was like a Snake-in-Waiting... ready to strike... just needed a target..... I also had migraines as a result of birth control

unlike erika... every medication was tried & all had the migraine result... so in order to be functionally able to go to work... I ended up having to use non-pill & non-hormonal options

and... add to this, that the method Birth Control Pills use to work is Hormone Manipulation.... I agree... that could be a source of the mood swings as well

Perhaps she could talk with her doctor....
Perhaps ya'll could use condom with diaphram as an option if it turns out that hormone manipulation isn't good for her....

she could even talk to her doctor about going off pills & using a diaphram for a few months to see if/how that affects her hormone balance & with that her behavior...

You really do need to figure out before you commit to marriage... what is causing these mood swings.... even if it mental health issues, there are treatment options... but it becomes less & less livable when the source isn't identified and with that treatment

I agree... 2 forms..... is the only way to avoid pregnancy

and it is good to know that you Love Her & are doing all that you need to do....

y'all can still Love each other & still take a break from the relationship & get a change to look at from not-so-close up... if this is what you choose to do

 

[subwannabe]

A whole lotta people get married before they should. I believe the divorce rate is approximately 50% and it can be pure hell going through a divorce and pure hell after a divorce. At the time people get married they really don't put enough thought into it, especially when you're young. There can even be some signs predicting the future and people ignore them and get married anyway. Take this as a sign and don't jump into something that you will regret later on. I'm not saying ditch her, I'm just saying definetley don't marry her yet until you have a more clear view of what your marriage will be like. If this is what your marriage will be like then I do say ditch her.

 

[SweetErika]

unlike erika... every medication was tried & all had the migraine result... so in order to be functionally able to go to work... I ended up having to use non-pill & non-hormonal options

No, I had the same experience. I just didn't make the connection (and neither did any of my doctors) until I went off the pill completely and my hormonal migraines went away, my libido shot up, I had more natural lube and felt better in general. And I was on the lowest dose monophasic pill.

We were already married when I went off of it, so we just stuck with condoms, and they worked perfectly.

 

[MarvelGuy]

Yeah, I understand we are still young. And eachothers firsts....for everything sexual.

But neither of us really want to try anything or anyone different....that I know of. sure I would like to try different things, but hey I love her more than anything i the world. So I just try and subtly bring things up.

 

[swtrthnhoney]

My 2.5 cents worth ...

At the tender age of 21, I was on a birth control pill. I think it had a few effects on me other than controlling the possibility of becoming pregnant. 1) I think it enhanced my sex drive a little, but then again I was 21 so I could be wrong there; 2) I had really bad mood swings, which I believed to be articulated by the hormones; 3) I had headaches.

There are much better birth control pills and many more options nowadays than there were when I was 21. I strongly suggest your gf discuss this with her doctor and see if that will help.

It is also possible, that the intense high of orgasming and the subsequent let-down of the realities of life could just make her pendulum swing a little too far every now and then. She is, after all, only 21. Which in your perspective seems mature and ready to take on the world; however, the world is a much bigger place than we all dared to dream and relationships can be daunting.

Don't let her masturbating after your sexual activities bother you. For women, sometimes the intense feelings of one stirs the yearning in another area. It has no reflection on you or your abilities. If she tries to hide it from you, then she may be a little embarassed by having these feelings and the desire to satisfy them (you didn't mention this but I am advising with the voice of experience). Women can orgasm in more than one way (I think men can too with the right stimulation) as was previously mentioned. I suggest you smooth the way and allow yourself to be turned on by it (most guys would love to see their gal masturbate).

As for her questioning the relationship (you don't really say if there are other issues she brings up), it may be that she is just a little uncertain. It's a big step even for a 9 year relationship. I would suggest that you reassure her in a loving manner (which you probably are doing).

At 21, I was involved in a relationship (not as lengthy as yours) with a guy that I was crazy about, but wasn't certain if he really was ready to settle down (nor was I certain I was at that point). I allowed the uncertainty of things get to me, which in turn caused me to question the relationship. I believe that if I had some reassurance from him regarding the relationship and how he felt, then it would have settled a lot of things for me. Not receiving that reassurance, eventually broke up the relationship.

Don't rush things. You've been together 9 years, if you are meant to be together then it will happen.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Yeah, I understand we are still young. And eachothers firsts....for everything sexual.

But neither of us really want to try anything or anyone different....that I know of. sure I would like to try different things, but hey I love her more than anything i the world. So I just try and subtly bring things up.

See, I have to disagree with the folks that say you should take a break. If you are already at the point where you are seeing each other's quarks and learning to deal with them, then I don't know what is gained by taking a break. A wider array of sexual experimentation? If you've got a gf with a high sex drive who wants to be adventurous, then again, there's no reason to experiment.

My wife and I married young, in fact I was 22. There are two things that were the key and still are, to our marriage. First, we were very open about who we were and what that meant for our behaviors. We knew what we were getting into going in and we'd learned to deal with those annoying little traits that at times overshadow the deeper love you feel for a person. The big one though, was we went into this with both having the belief that divorce was not an option...period. If you don't think you can work out any problems, short of soemthing major like abuse or some such thing, then don't bother.

Any man that's been married for a long time knows that women's hormones fluctuate and cause them to be moody. Sorry ladies, just stating a fact, not making a commentary. You have to know though, that her mood swings WILL change over time. They may get better, may get worse, may get better for a while then get worse again. Welcome to life with women. You either learn to cope and just be thankful you don't have to go through it like they do, or start banging guys. Those are really the two options.

I also think maybe perspectives here are skewed by the fact that this is one of the first things the OP has come here to talk about. I daresay that if I popped on here bitching about my wife's mood swings from her latest round of fertility drugs, no one would tell me we should take a break.

However, if you HONESTLY look at your relationship and say that you can't see yourself with anyone else, that you're ready to deal with the trials of marriage and that you can communicate openly and honestly about EVERY FACET of your relationship with your gf, then I say go for it.

The thing is, NO relationship is perfect. Marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's also the most rewarding. It has to be a two way street though, and she has to be just as open, honest and deeply in love as you are. But like i said nothing is perfect. I don't believe in perfect matches. I believe in people finding something a person who wants to be as perfect for you as you want to be perfect for them. I believe true love is both partners being willing to give of themselves to make the other happy, whether it's being sexually adventurous, learning to like activities they like, or learning to deal with massive tidal wave hormonal swings. You can do this without giving up who and what you are, and finding that balance, that is the key to a happy marriage.

Oh yeah, and it won't happen overnight. You can't bail out at the first sign of strife, as a lot of people do. That's what jacks up the divorce rates. I think once you work out that first big issue, it gets easier to work through future quagmires. At least that's my experience.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Don't rush things. You've been together 9 years, if you are meant to be together then it will happen.

I forgot to nod at this piece of advice. Don't rush it. I know i just said go for it a minute ago, but only if you two can honestly discuss these issues and resolve them. If you aren't there yet, hold off and keep working toward that goal. Just because you may not be ready to make a lifetime commitment right now doesn't doom you for the future. If you do it right, you got a lot of years ahead to be married.

 

[Lady_In_Black]

I like to rub my clit after sex, not because I want more, but because it's relaxing.

 

[PhilGarlic]

welcome

Welcome to the world of relationships! Mood swings wait until you have two daughters in the house then come back and talk to me about mood swings,
as for rubbing her clit just video it and post it on the internet.

Sorry this was your rant, talk to her about the mood swings while she is approachable, ask her is she knows she is being moody, then next time she is yanking your chain remind her about your conversation, just sleep with one eye open.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Ah chicks: can't live with them. Full stop.