New Poetry Recommendations

[butters]

I would've liked what Misphit did, shows some time and effort went into a poem. However, I'm sure it's plagiarism, as in claiming someone's poem as your own. A simple Google search on the different stanzas. I'm 90% sure whomever Misphit is didn't write most, if not all, of the poem. Copy and Paste plagiarism is bullshit. I've no problem with plays off other works, but this isn't that.

NerdyGurl wrote a simple poem about lack of communication, simple syllable counting works well enough if you're new to the game of writing poems: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=507538

Don't Ejaculate, Don't Rut, Don...
by IrmaCerrutti© is a good poem, not great, needs a little work. http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=507590

i see what you mean about the search, though, to be fair, the person who posted it two years back didn't claim it as their own so it's still possible this is the work of Misphit. having said that, it's just as possible it's not, since we all know plagiarism thrives throughout the networld. if it's just one of those pieces that's 'out there' anonymously, then Misphit ought not to have allowed anyone to believe they were its author. i hope it gets clarified soon.

 

[Epmd607]

i see what you mean about the search, though, to be fair, the person who posted it two years back didn't claim it as their own so it's still possible this is the work of Misphit. having said that, it's just as possible it's not, since we all know plagiarism thrives throughout the networld. if it's just one of those pieces that's 'out there' anonymously, then Mishit ought not to have allowed anyone to believe they were its author. i hope it gets clarified soon.

Finding the original source on something like this would be next to impossible.

 

[Misphit]

I am

most certainly the author of each and every line in this poem. I posted under a different user name 2 years ago. I wish this person would've come to me before accusing me of something as awful as plagiarism. Very hard for me to prove or defend myself. My name originally was illustr8rrr, if that helps. Sadly, even the person who so recklessly slings these accusations, admits it would be difficult to prove his/her case. Bummer.

 

[bronzeage]

most certainly the author of each and every line in this poem. I posted under a different user name 2 years ago. I wish this person would've come to me before accusing me of something as awful as plagiarism. Very hard for me to prove or defend myself. My name originally was illustr8rrr, if that helps. Sadly, even the person who so recklessly slings these accusations, admits it would be difficult to prove his/her case. Bummer.

There is enough argument over who wrote the original "Night Before Christmas" it seems silly to argue over who wrote any particular parody of it. Every Christmas generates another dozen or so and revives the thousands from previous years.

If a writer posts work on the internet under different names, old pieces under new names will look like plagiarism. This comes up on every poetry site I have ever visited. The latest poster always answers the charge by saying it was posted under a different name.

There is nothing reckless about stating a fact. There is nothing to defend or prove, because there is nothing at risk.

If a solution is needed, the only idea I offer is to keep your work under a consistent pen name and become familiar to the community where you post.

 

[Misphit]

I agree

There is nothing reckless about stating a fact, but that was not the case here. The poster stated his opinion as fact, and that, in my opinion, can be reckless.

"However, I'm sure it's plagiarism"

Then, in the follow up to this post, they state...

"Finding the original source on something like this would be next to impossible."

Next to impossible, yet they're "sure it's plagiarism.

It's easy to state that nothing is at risk, when you're standing on the side. Yes, it's just another in a long line of holiday parodies...but it's my parody and I'm proud of it.

If someone here can state as a matter of fact, that I have committed plagiarism, delete my account from this site.

 

[butters]

Very well, now Misphit's had the chance to respond - which I deemed only fair in this instance - I would appreciate any further comments on this topic to be posted in the To Keep The Review Thread Clean thread.

If anyone mistakenly responds further here, I will move their post to that thread rather than clutter this one more than has been the case so far. thankyou for your cooperation.

 

[vrosej10]

My name's Vee and this shit don't involve me, so on to the poetry recommendations.

By far the best poem in the current bunch in greenmountaineer's Mesothelioma. Gritty, full of tight and imagery which I found deliciously disturbing. Definitely worth a read; he/she is back to their best.

A new poet (at least to me) this week is Azraeyl. Their poems Hell's Kitchen and Teal Lover Girl are pretty damn good. Teal Lover Girl has a cool erotic manga flavour and Hell's Kitchen has wicked biblical references. Give them a try.

 

[Epmd607]

re-posted over in the To Keep the Review Thread Clean thread.

 

[Epmd607]

post moved to To Keep the Review Thread Clean thread.

 

[bronzeage]

This Lesson Goes Unlearned by azraeyl

I like this poem very much. The internal rhymes and phrasing make it flow well and easy to read. The only drawback is the total absence of punctuation and starting each line with an upper case letter.

It's difficult to write a new "what the hell went wrong?" poem, but azraeyl uses a wide range of vivid images and metaphors in this piece to show the confusion everyone has experienced when love doesn't work the way we expected.


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=507847

 

[azraeyl]

w00t, that's 2 for me. thanks guys!

Love,
Az

 

[twelveoone]

Rock on, really good stuff over there for a change, and you all know what a prick I am
Mesothelioma
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=507867
bygreenmountaineer

"My God! It's like some outer bridge
To Dante's hellbent vestibule!"

Eunuchs and Ballbreakers of Saint Lucia
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=508142
Eunuchs and ballbreakers of Saint Lucia
is the best line, but it be worth reading as a set up for
Fondle Her Fatuously
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=508238
byIrmaCerrutti
which is really good

it does some nice weaving of lines - this repeating may be the thing called for, because of the strangeness of the words that IrmaCerrutti uses.

Good to compare the two.

Pleasing My Mister
byOralDave
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=508217
is
not what you think

Prickly
byvrosej10
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=508181

isn't either

Both go in different directions than you might expect

Candy Coated ADD
byazraeyl
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=507849

looks to be a new writer prone to the usual mistakes
but clear evidence of talent
thus help by leaving comments
i.e. you post over there, you comment

I may have missed some.

There are 126 editors chioces, and since Rybka would go to the boneyard when he did New Poems (his choices but he was qualified and only one a week... unlike that dumbass thread that was here a couple of years ago)
The E's are not my choices, merely the order is.

Fancies in Free Flight
by Ryb
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=321029

Free feral far flies

Personally, I think is a dreadful line, and to open with... but that was Ryb. We all have our quirks. Excessive alliteration...but wait....
I and yet still me have wingtipped the snowdrifts
swirling sun shadows
glints of warmth so freshly sown.

It appears again, it works, I didn't even notice it at first. Contrast the f's with the S's. The fact One of the S-words is on a different line may help also. And really these two (or is that three) lines are beautiful. He does a beautiful job weaving "W" words thoughout. New writers should take note of the simplicity of the words (one and two syllables), the effectiveness of the repeated phrases. The effect of the lay-out, which I assume was inspired by ee cumminings. For some reason, probably the visual effect of last lines It had for me an image of falling leaves.

Speaking of personal quirks...
I said I wasn't going to do this, but one reason was mikey dared me to.
a child’s Christmas in wails ouch, sarcastic SOB
'llusions
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=152279
by yours truly

I just looked at this after 6 years

pay attention vrose, there are colours in there you never dreamed of *dirt color*,*glow-in-the-dark black*
I do like the cauliflower, but it does suffer from an undeveloped rabbit or two, mostly Bugs
*maroon*

The real reason I did this twofer, a comparison of unusual formatting. Ryb from ee cummings, I presume. Mine wasn't. How original is mine, well considering that the Torah has been around for almost 2,000 years, Jacques Derrida did parallel text, and the Persians (I think) did interlocking verse. Not very, I just disorganized in a different way.

Ryb and I were often at odds, his taste quite different than mine, but we often liked (and sometimes hated) each others work. In the comments on 'llusions is a Rybka alt. This is what makes a place, mutual hatred and respect for the fact that some SOB may be doing things a little better (and somebody is always doing something better in some way) a little different, and the willingness to SEE.

 

[vrosej10]

Sorry I'm late with this; been busy.

Christmas Without You by LadyGenevieve. The is an excellent example of how to handle a sentimental topic without going right over the top into maudlin drivel. Good stuff.

Fondle Her Fatuously by Irma Cerutti. I am with twelveoone on this one. This is way better than his other stuff, which is normally very dense and pungent. He's a big fan of the latinate words and into a grunting, rutting sort of imagery. His style kind of reminds me of a bull elephant in must; big, powerful and horny/angry.

the Raven (-Haired) by Wild_Writer. This one's a hoot. Do yourself a favour and read it but make sure your bladder's empty first because otherwise you will piss yourself laughing.

The Anti-Beatitudes by Fridayam. What can I say, but good poetry. Take a look for yourself.

Ah You by Principessagongju. Classy erotic in a formal style. If that's your speed and it's mine, give it a whirl.

 

[twelveoone]

Now if you an I are the only ones doing this, who gets to recommend you?
A Great Age.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=508762

Paparazzi
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=508567
by
vrosej10


both are welcome changes
from the overheated caca
that percolates in new poems

 

[bronzeage]

Gothic Britannia by IrmaCerrutti

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=508697

I will defer to Bob Dylan on this one and not criticize what I don't understand.

This piece is filled with interesting phrasing and images, but all combine to make unfamiliar references. Each word taken individually, can be defined, but taken in context, they become a jargon or slang.

If I were more familiar with British culture, or counter culture,or maybe subculture, the meaning might be clear, but as I read it today, I have no idea what it means.

 

[vrosej10]

Hi Guys,

Renaissance Interruptus by Paisley Muse.

This is a great complex poem with real promise. One stanza bugged me but otherwise fine. You might get it, so read away.

Nature, Fueling Wiles by The_Tragic_Poet.

Shakespearean in feel. Horny. Good. Read.

Father, Father by greenmountaineer.

A good narrative poem, which for me recalls The Great Depression. Suck it and see for yourself.

In The Bathtub by IrmaCerrutti

Firstly I agree with bronzeage in the previous post. I don't think I quite get this guy.
That being said, this one is worth a look, if only to ponder does he love or hate Rosie?

Cooks or Specifically, Yours by Tristesse2

Nice poem. That simple, that complicated.

Exquisite by Tristesse2

Lives up to its name. Nice piece of well done erotic poetry.

 

[twelveoone]

As I see it.

Sardonic: characterized by bitter or scornful derision; mocking; cynical; sneering:

Irony : the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning

Last week I found a poem that left a sour taste in my mouth. Saying that, I know your reaction might be something on the order of "of course you dumb ass, between the fecund fecal fallout and fucking pap smeared all over new poems ,what do you expect?" Well mostly that is bad writing, but bad writing merely makes me feel exasperated and annoyed.This was not bad writing.
I'm prejudiced. Unlike some of you, I admit it. I really don't like double spaced lines. I tend to skim over them, the first quick look, I see some things that look interesting, but the reaction, kicks in right way, the line spacing?
It leaves a sour taste in my mouth everytime I look at it(synesthesia not metaphor.) In good poetry I get images, sometimes images of the stucture, feelings. A taste? Sometimes I do get a metallic taste, mostly on my own stuff but I remember sometimes Pound, Bogusbrig.
I finally figured out the cause of my reaction to the Anti-Beatitudes.It is an unrelenting sardonicism overlayed with irony, that seems to creates a sort of fugue state in the emotional level. I've never seen it done before.
I check Baudelaire, try to remember WickedEve, both employ sardonicism and irony, but not to this level. powerful Sardonic is bitter writing, ironic is being the opposite. The introduction of opposites also has a canceling effect. I know this I use this tactic, it comes from molecular biology it is know as antisense. The opposite of bitter is sour.
This writer knows what he is doing. I do wonder whether is a good strategy, it is totally beyond inexperienced writers, I don't think most experienced writers would pick up on it either, and for me it has an unpalatable taste ( I don't like sour).
So if you want to see something, you never saw before and may never see again, check it out, I highly recommend it.

The Anti-Beatitudes

byfridayam


THE E's

Senna's dictum:
the difference between prose and poetry, is in prose the writer supplies 50% the reader 50%; in poetry the writer supplies 10% the reader supplies 90%.
Which always reminded me of the Stanley Fish experiment (you can google) From wikipedia Fish is best known for his analysis of interpretive communities — an offshoot of reader-response criticism.
Which amuses me to no end, considering....

2004-03-14 (2004-02-04)
bySenna Jawa©









crowded campfire
i withdraw and shiver
Title
2004-03-14 (2004-02-04) Double journal entries?
Line 1
crowded campfire
either a metaphor but as of yet no indication of what, or just a crowded campfire
Line 2
i withdraw (where, internally or just away form the campfire?)
and shiver (from the cold or does he mean shiver in the same sense as shudder)

2 ambiguities,1 mystery metaphor,1 mystery title-
well at least some balance of a sort is attained.
I'm all for cyptic lines, I use them, but in this case I wished he would have upped his cut to maybe 20-25%

Well speaking of mysteries


Mystery Man
bysmithpeter©

smithpeter died shortly after I got here, he was a sort of patron saint of this place, I didn't know him, not familiar with his work; I have no idea what this is about. I would consider this bad enjambment at the end of line:
strung lights dangle casting their
But new writers, it is consistent in images, sounds good, and not a cliche in sight.

some inner boat
bottomed steel
rivets below welds
decades smooth
then scrapped

lockers, slosh panels
floors substitute walls
corridors of cable
miles of forgotten craft

longer tunnels than nightmares know
strung lights dangle casting their
shadowed clank, trip and glow
along net patterned iron gangway
down the gutted throat
of a great lake freighter
name unknown to self or host
treads lumpy headed,
in a fog,
Raul

Next week, maybe jd4george and Angeline, who contrary to popular opinion, I have learned a trick or two from and that's what it's all about paying attention and learning, isn't it?

 

[bflagsst]

Thanks to 1201 for Bringing Fridayam's poem Out into the Open

I have a second opinion to offer on Fridayam's poem "The Anti-Beatitudes".

The material Fridayam's pulling from is much narrower than the Gospels and the Sermon on the Mount. Which in itself was sort of an ultimate rehash of a stale Pentateuchean theme, where it's most certainly inevitable that the weak believer becomes strong and slave overcomes master at some point, living or dead. The irony with Christendom has always been that its champions have been the ruling class of the world since Justinian. That's where true biting cynicism, irony, sardony(pardon me) has always found most fruitful pasture. The ironist can't effectively be the poet who comments, complains, rebukes; anyway that's not why this specific poem falls flat.

Fridayam's commenting on petty people and people in their pettiness, which in itself doesn't warrant a standing O. While there are some interesting turns, specifically the myrmidons and worriers portions, the poem as a whole lies down and begs to be much more important than it is. The gift of irony is it lands its arrow straighter and more to the point than the rusty bludgeon of cynicism, due to irony's inherent playfulness with very serious situations and a reader's natural inclination toward life being comedy as opposed to tragedy.

The irony in reading Fridayam's poem, for me, is the poet or person who sweats the petty person in their pettiness. As those deemed good, lightly veiled in the poem, aren't necessarily anything resembling beatific people. It was a good poem, enjoyed thinking about it for a few hours this afternoon.

 

[twelveoone]

I have a second opinion to offer on Fridayam's poem "The Anti-Beatitudes".

The material Fridayam's pulling from is much narrower than the Gospels and the Sermon on the Mount. Which in itself was sort of an ultimate rehash of a stale Pentateuchean theme, where it's most certainly inevitable that the weak believer becomes strong and slave overcomes master at some point, living or dead. The irony with Christendom has always been that its champions have been the ruling class of the world since Justinian. That's where true biting cynicism, irony, sardony(pardon me) has always found most fruitful pasture. The ironist can't effectively be the poet who comments, complains, rebukes; anyway that's not why this specific poem falls flat.

Fridayam's commenting on petty people and people in their pettiness, which in itself doesn't warrant a standing O. While there are some interesting turns, specifically the myrmidons and worriers portions, the poem as a whole lies down and begs to be much more important than it is. The gift of irony is it lands its arrow straighter and more to the point than the rusty bludgeon of cynicism, due to irony's inherent playfulness with very serious situations and a reader's natural inclination toward life being comedy as opposed to tragedy.

The irony in reading Fridayam's poem, for me, is the poet or person who sweats the petty person in their pettiness. As those deemed good, lightly veiled in the poem, aren't necessarily anything resembling beatific people. It was a good poem, enjoyed thinking about it for a few hours this afternoon.

The gift of irony is usually applied to a positive line; never seen that effect of applying it to a negative. It is both counterintuitive and canceling. It took me three days and I can't find any evidence of it ever being used to that extent, I'm not sure it was even used in Flowers of Evil. I stand by what I said.

 

[vrosej10]

Hi Guys,

Two poems to recommend but they are corkers.

Emptying the Attic by Fridayam. You know how Emily Dickenson said she knew when she'd read a good poem because it felt like the top of her head came off? (I have probably gotten this quote a little off, but the intent is the same) Well, my brains are all over the wall. I love this one.

Journey Home by Tristesse2. I found this one to be brilliant but there are other opinions. To me this poem maybe the hottest I have ever read on the subject of fancying older men (and god knows I do love an older guy). It's hotter for its subtlety. I have a feeling though, this poem might work better for women, though don't ask me why. Check it out. Tell my why you agree or disagree.

 

[vrosej10]

Howdy Poet Folks,

The Lighter Side Of Chasing Women by anglosextantyen4u

This is good, really good. I am not sure it is poetry but it is worth reading. This is one of these works that either defies definition or transcends it but this is art. I really enjoyed its story and anglosextantyen4u can write; what it is definitely is sophisticated and nuance prose by an engaging storyteller. Don't take my word for it. Read!!!

 

[twelveoone]

now if you do (new poems) who do you (new poems)?

Odette from Odessa
by
vrosej10

which has the better craftsman commenting on, and I agree; vee is showing some sound poetry here, not just sound.

Joe Surrealist in Love

by the poetguy

Wonton on salad? Alas, no, not now!
byTristesse2
who is a hell of a poet and hell in the kitchen too

you two can join the fight as to what is surreal and what is dada

 

[vrosej10]

On the Eve by live4passion.
This is an impressive poem, with its own distinctive rhythm. Fans of the classic stuff should really enjoy this one.
Sovereign of the Sands by twelveoone
This is a strange little Egyptian themed quatrain with interesting use of caesura. Check it out.
Faces Over Time by fridayam
A solid poem, but I am didn’t get it. Possibly this is just me. Have a read, get back to me with theories.

 

[twelveoone]

What Would Jesus the Criminal Say?
excellent 16er (lines)
bygreenmountaineer

Early colonials snapped witches' necks
In towns surrounding Massachusetts Bay
That hid their nightmares of hot-bloodied sex


Treasure Chest
a sonnet
by
bycuriousaboutthat

This cherished treasure is so dear and rare
And valuable beyond all price to me
Deserving of the very best of care

just when I thought all I'd see of end rhyme would be sucky, I'm proud of you

and

She Wants to be Amy Winehouse.
byvrosej10 (i've whom i'm becoming a fan of)
which just made me hungry - ignore my comment there

With all these wiles, all the while; she is aware.

really good end line

so in the immortal words of Patrick Henry
Comment or die
alright i made that one up

 

[bronzeage]

Dog Pound by Cowboy109

I like straight forward poetry. This piece is very straight forward. It's a sex scene in a dog kennel.

The images are blunt and frame the scene perfectly, still leaving real ambiguity. There is violence and passion, but it's never clear which is which. It could be rough play or a brutal rape.

L1 is confusing:

<Scuffed into a metal mesh cage>

It might be a typo. Maybe it is supposed to be "stuffed", but "scuffed" is just as harsh.

The 5th and 6th stanzas bring the domination and submission into sharp focus:

<Panicked eyes trace me
Muscles taut primed to serve me
All your feelings and thoughts laid open
Terrified, wanting, and bared

Me, the dark figure in leather uniform
Leather quarter inch thick that teeth don’t prick
Tall, handsome, blue eyes
Shiny hand cuffs and red cattle prod in hand>

The last two stanzas are an apology and tries to rationalize the violence. The ambiguity remains. It could be two lovers who need roller coaster thrills to ignite the passion, or it could be a brutal rapist, comforting himself, giving us the oldest line of all, "she wanted it that way."