New Poetry Recommendations

[Angeline]

Dead Man's Underpants
by RisiaSkye©

(for Angeline & Wicked Eve)

Not only did Ms Risia find a way to use that hysterically absurd title, she actually wrote one hell of a poem! Am I surprised? No way!

what gets
left behind is sometimes something
simple: a pair of glasses, those paisley
boxers you never really liked,
that tattered copy of some silly
science fiction novel.

I saw this post and just went to read the poem.
lol! That girl's in a world of trouble if she starts getting muse from our wacked-out babble. You know where that leads (disco zombies).

The bit you quoted is my favorite part, too. Risia is so facile with words and her best poems have the perfect conversational tone to draw a reader into her world. I often think that reading one of her poems leaves you feeling like you just had coffee in her kitchen. Very inviting and intimate.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

New Poem Reviews
nine poems out this morning....

Rough Road Vegas by swallowedscream ... I can tell you from experience that the road to vegas is long and rough (grin...and very well expressed within this poem!

.....................................................................

SyndraLynn.. brings us... Let me!... let me mention this poem (~_~)


.......................................................................

have a quality week (~_~)

 

[wildsweetone]

today's treat: English Poet Laureate from 1913, Robert Bridges was born on this day.

Spirits

Angel spirits of sleep,
White-robed, with silver hair,
In your meadows fair,
Where the willows weep,
And the sad moonbeam
On the gliding stream
Writes her scatter'd dream:

Angel spirits of sleep,
Dancing to the weir
In the hollow roar
Of its waters deep;
Know ye how men say
That ye haunt no more
Isle and grassy shore
With your moonlit play;
That ye dance not here,
White-robed spirits of sleep,
All the summer night
Threading dances light?

====================================================================


this review contains some constructive criticism that is intended to help some poets with their writing. there is a limitation on the use of smilies in posts on Literotica and therefore i am unable to include what i would like. my intention is to encourage and help by giving suggestions to poets.

18 new poems today.

Off to a great start with today's poems with Bay by vampiredust. i love the simplicity and the message with this one. which night of 'that weekend' does the poem refer to? maybe 'that day' rather than 'weekend' might fit a little better? i'm not sure there. thanks for submitting Chris, it's great to read your poetry.

five poems from samoajoe88. Good Mourning, Moonshade, Desperation, Red Beach, Upon Terra's Marsh. i liked each of these poems. i think the rhymes work well. the story comes through each of the poems. i think they are well written with only a minimal spelling error. i think my favourite is the first with stanza 2 line 3. i'm looking forward to reading more of this poet's submissions. it's nice to see poetry from a local.

The Many Judgments of Bony Death by LasciviousSanity makes for an interesting read however it feels a little too 'preachy' for my taste - but then, perhaps that how it's meant to be considering the title. stanza 2 'innocence' should be 'innocent' i think. there are a fair few 'big' words in this poem also, i wonder if they would be easier read if simplified. i don't think they're wrong as such, considering the title (again) and subject matter. Late - in the last line 'whose' should be 'who's' i think. successful twist there.

Half a Dozen of the Other by Cal Y. Pygia has no ability to leave comments so i won't be commenting here.

1sayspine by DeepAsleep. Wake up readers and check out this poem. i love it. 4, the last line, is excellent. so's the rest, but i think i'm a little biased today. check it out and see what you think.

i love Rybka's Pull Only The Weeds. this poet's poetry always teaches me something. every single word in this poem is there because it is needed. each and every line break has meaning. and the messages carry strength and meaning. i think it is this poet's fault that i am getting past my dislike for rhyme.


=========================================================
those poems i did not choose for this review either contained typing errors or simply did not stand out to me. please note that these are my opinions on poems, it is up to you as a reader and/or writer to form your own. go read, go comment and keep writing!

 

[champagne1982]

With Mul() tiple Angles is worth a read for those of us in line for a bit of a ride on a spinning poem through Nerdly Pop Culture. It's a good example of Rumpleteazer's willingness to experiment with ways to say it all.

 

[Rumpleteazer]

nerdy pop culture lol

 

[DeepAsleep]

Thanks for the mention! I'm glad you liked it.

!DA

 

[Angeline]

October 23, 2007

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Twenty-three new poems today and not a one of them really grabbed me. I read them all twice, a few three times waiting for the thrill of discovery of something I'd want to share with you all. It didn't happen.

There's a passel of audio poems from MagicaPractica that may strike your fancy. She has a fine reading voice and some of her titles are terrific. Nighttime Visitor by oceanjessika has some great imagery, but needs pruning and shaping imo. If Only by UnderYourSpell is interesting, but seems like a beginning that was detached from the rest of the poem. Curiouswife's Has anyone seen my father? seemed to have the most promise to me, but again I found myself wanting more.

Could be my own restless nature leaving me unsatisfied with all I read today. Read the new poems yourself, vote and comment and if you have recommendations to add, please do so here.

And if you want to read a great poem (imo), go back to yesterday's submissions and check out DeepAsleep's 1sayspine. Marvelous writing!

Go Sox!
Angeline

 

[Tathagata]

And if you want to read a great poem (imo), go back to yesterday's submissions and check out DeepAsleep's 1sayspine. Marvelous writing!

Go Sox!
Angeline

Best thing I have seen here in a long time
I miss this guy,his spirit, and his talent
I wish I could write like that

 

[LeBroz]

Wednesday's Review

.
.


Only 4 new pieces posted so far and none really resonates with me today, though one comes tantalizingly close. I'll check again later to see if any gems appear late in the day.

In the meantime, while it's not her best work, Curiouswife has an instructive piece in In a Young Girl's Heart. It's not as explicit as many might work it and leaves quite a bit to the reader's imagination. If you're really all that sure about what's being said then I'd suggest you read it again.

I'll be back later to see if any others appear. And since there are so few up today, give 'em all a quickie read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.

.
.
.

 

[WickedEve]

Thursday

There are 17 poems at 7:30. I will check later today incase more are added.

First poem listed is by vampiredust.
Variations on a theme by Niedecker

I read through a few Lorine Niedecker poems to get a feel for her poetry and see how much of vampiredust's poem was inspired by her. Vamp's poem is magnificent.

dactyls from the clothesline.
They stab me. My wounds

are blue. Too big to carry me
thru.



And there is more to come -- after coffee.

 

[WickedEve]

Kizzy-Cat Chronicles (Haiku)
by sensualquills©

Poets, do not insist on slapping Haiku on every 5-7-5 syllable poem you write. That doesn't necessarily make it Haiku. Sorry, but it just detracts from the poem. I'm reading a good, little poem, but thinking, "It's not haiku."
I read this one a few times and realized, after getting past its haiku label, that it is a nice poem. I can picture kitty doing what cats do to get attention, even when the cat's mistress has pen in hand, writing a poem--hopefully, writing a poem.



Well, I guess that it, unless some more poems are posted later. There were a couple of other poems that weren't too bad at all, but you go read through the list and see what you like. Then let me know what an ass I am for not mentioning them! Go on. It'll be fun.

 

[champagne1982]

Friday, October 26

Although they are letters, I suggest you take a moment and read through the one posted as a new poem today, Where the bullets flew and then another, to read lorencino's inspiration, A Bullet Not Taken by Deadwood. They read as moving notes to and from men who sacrificed, not for their country but instead, for the friends they made while preparing to make that sacrifice.

I'll check back later and see if more poems come up in the meantime, have a fine day. It's snowing here, so I've got a whole new take on the season...

More poems were posted today. Honestly, I find them long on angst and short on appeal though. I'd like to encourage you to go and read them, there's only a scant 8 or so, and if you find any to recommend, please, take a moment and do so here.

Although we have regular reviewers, that shouldn't preclude your offering of an opinion generated by a new poem. Happy Weekend!

 

[lorencino]

Though they are letters?

I realize I am skating on extremely thin ice here, but I was exploring the possibilities of having something that looks like prose have a cadence that is different from everyday prosaic speech and thus possibly defined as poetic.

When I first began to read the letter/poem (A Bullet Not Taken by Deadwood by Deadwood) that inspired me to write mine, I thought, "Hang on here, this doesn't even look like a poem." Then, as I explain in my poem, a certain poetic rhythm began to emerge as I continued reading until I got to the point where I thought that maybe there was validity in calling it a poem.

When I wrote my response I was inspired both by Deadwoods content as well as his style and attempted to give my rendering (if that word is still acceptable in polite circles) of this newly discovered poetic style.

Whether the attempt was successful or not is quite another matter, but I was intending the letter to be classified as a poem.

Most important of all, I do appreciate that you noticed both of our pieces, champagne1982. Thank you.

 

[twelveoone]

since tathagumo dared me...
NPR by 1201
some sonnet type thingie
something by Rybka
and mine
This has possibilities

Hell I didn't like any of 'em. even mine.except maybe the last one. but only 'cause it is a nice break from the excessive rhymesters and cliche chuckers.
but I second this from WickedEve
Poets, do not insist on slapping Haiku on every 5-7-5 syllable poem you write. That doesn't necessarily make it Haiku. Sorry, but it just detracts from the poem.
same goes for Sonnet
same goes for Villenelle
same goes for Sextesset
(where is she anyway Sexy Tess?)

I make an exception for pantoum, I like pantoum in the title.

and a final parting shot - remember one way of improving is finding what doesn't work in others work, so give it a shot, just don't be lame, leave your name.

SINCE I REALLY DIDN"T RECOMMEND ANYTHING NO DISCLAIMER NEEDED.
and it I didn't leave a comment, I didn't vote.

go for it MET

 

[twelveoone]

NPR by 1201
because Tath dared me, and because another good reviewer (WSO) has left
4 poem thingies up
I'll mention three of them
Anomoly: 2. Reflection by lorencino
If the only thing concrete thing mentioned is air that is not going to give much of anything to hold on to.

Rybka is one of the premier poets here, Green Girl Gone is NOT one of his premier poems, however lorencino should read this. It is filled with stuff: geese, ponds, grass, even a girl. Too bad, it ends bad.

pipedream_ink is up to 17
This is not poetry, this one is not reportage, pick your targets carefully.

You can disagree. And you can post it over here. And I'm sure someone else with balls and talent will tell you.

DISCLAIMER: do I really need one?

BTW, WSO, you are right
me bad

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Is there a thread for saying I don't know what the hell people are talking about or should I just shut up and let the poems flow on by?

 

[Mayhem377]

A poem

A Prayer

Summer morning, shades of gray,
Die in morning light.
Amber cast across the mountain,
graces the hills with fading laughter.
Emerald green and lakes a blue, whispering and singing,
The wind chants eternal joy across it's lips
from where my help is winging.
Love emblazoned casts it's fiery glow,
Warming fingers a nipping.
Where does the time go I wonder,
Cast down, brown and jovial, with sugar and creme' a sipping?
Kindness frames the face of the years
and borders the sadness with a smile.
As life goes on and one by one we tread the withered mile
and with anticipation look forward to the day's grace ahead of us.

RedDawn

 

[lorencino]

Learning to write; learning to read

Is there a thread for saying I don't know what the hell people are talking about or should I just shut up and let the poems flow on by?

I am pretty new to this forum so maybe I have it wrong, but I believe part of what this thread is about is poets helping other poets or aspiring poets become better poets. Now the sort of thing a poet needs to understand, in order to be a good poet, is probably much the same thing a reader of poetry needs to understand in order to derive maximum pleasure from a poem.

The point being that some poems please easily and appeal to everyone, while other poems require some effort before rewarding you with their treasures. I love poetry but often have to struggle to understand what's going on. From experience I guarantee that the struggle to understand is usually worth it.

Sometimes I understand a poem and then later find that I've completely missed the point. So it's like a marriage--You don't always know what's going on, but if you work on it you reap ample rewards.

Don't give poetry a miss.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Added a few hours later after having discovered what a prolific poet you are, UnderYourSpell​

I took the bait, hook, line and sinker and I feel like a total prat. Now I have to get over the feeling of being a great big pompous ass.

 

[lorencino]

NPR by 1201
Anomoly: 2. Reflection by lorencino If the only thing concrete thing mentioned is air that is not going to give much of anything to hold on to.

An eye-opening comment that I am truly grateful for. The reality, I realized, is that rather than writing a poem I had produced a philosophical comment masquerading as a poem with the result that it was neither a good poem nor a lucid comment on the state of human society.

It is as though I'm wielding some sort of dream-catcher's net hoping to snare a gem of glittering truth from the immense indifference of a cold universe to indicate the vague disquiet I feel about something, when what I need to be doing is implying the universal abstract with the immediacy of the ordinary experiences and concrete objects that people can readily recognize.

I seem to be guilty of an unintended obscurantism. In trying to reveal a perception about social reality I ended up burying reality in a fog of words, and I thank you for making this clear to me in your succinct comment.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Taking this over to ... 'To keep the review clean'.

 

[Tzara]

Hey, it's Monday! There are new poems!

Our sugary sweet, yet acerbically analytical, wildsweetone is off on a new job and not reviewing today, unfortunately. I am not feeling especially reviewerish myself (feel free to be so, people) but I will point out that there are seven new poems. I find FifthFlower's Leaving Her on the Beach kind of interesting. It's a rhymed poem about, I think, infidelity, and how a man might deal with such.

Pretty good, particularly for a rhythmically rhymed poem.

Go vote and stuff, people.

 

[Angeline]

Tuesday, October 30

And a big old poetic merci to Tzara for doing reviews yesterday. Wotta guy.

There are a mere six new poems posted today, so it should be easy peasy for you to read, vote and comment on them, eh?

DelaneyMiter is a new poet with two submissions today, Her and Him, a delightfully deceptive piece that pushes the envelope of its non-erotic category and Salsa a rather mundane trudge that should be spicy and nimble. Both poems are great in theory but need editing (and maybe in the case of Salsa, rewriting). Like so many new poems, they show the promise of a poet whose work would improve with practice.

There are also two submissions by hmmnmm, both quite good and both a bit shaggy around the edges and in need of some shaping. Of the two, I preferred calendar revenge, a wry lament on time taking its toll, but seasonal adjustments (a great companion piece to calendar revenge) is fun to read with a cool (literally) quirky ending.

The other two submissions didn't grab me, but maybe they will you. These are just my opinions, after all.

Be well poets and happy haunting.
Ange

 

[LeBroz]

Wednesday's Review

.
.


Another Wednesday, only this one's a special treat — it's Halloween. We know the sort of treats the munchkins want; what sort of treat are you hoping to receive?

Among today's posting of 11 poems, here are 3 little treats for your consideration.


For those who have been following this series, pipedream_ink brings you War Diaries Day Eighteen, not quite the glory and glamour the arm chair warriors make war out to be.


Klingsor has posted today, The Semaphore Diary. This is one you ought to try. While there are many fine things I can say about this, let me share just this one tidbit. After the recent discussion of enjambment, I find I'm more aware of what seems to work and what doesn't. Here's an example of it working so smoothly and unobtrusively:

A small skill,
But a useful one. Consider
How much more pleasant
It is to travel

The word 'consider' and that break causes you to actually pause to consider what's next being said and it seems such a natural reaction. But go ahead and read the whole poem for all its other fine thoughts and descriptions.


Finally, Tathagata tosses out an in-your-face prose piece, Limitations, that lambasts the critic or the critic wannabe. It's not a cute little rhyming structured poem; it's a 'normal' prose conversation, but its portrayal of the never satisfied critic is spot on. While it's not your usual poetic fare, it is for me the most enjoyable read of the day. Give it a shot.


That's it for today. Don't feel limited by my selections; give the others a shot. You may find something you like. Just remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.

.
.

 

[Tzara]

I think Evie is MIA, so let me peek at these New!! Poems!!

Hey. Bin watchin' monster flicks lately. Why the ex-claymation points.

Anyway. Let's take a lookie see...

Oh gosh! There is an EDITOR'S CHOICE poem. Haven't seen that in some time. And, what say, it's by DeepAsleep who is, usually, not. 'Leastways not while composing his oddly fine poems. Check out, dudes & dudettes, DA's i fucking hate bowling and savor, learn, and wonder at why he does that really irritating lower case "i" thing. (Ahem. Yes, I know. I have done that too. Recently. It's still irritating, godammit.)

ANYway, good, good poem. Lotza "daphnes" in it. Be forewarned.

DA's style is (I may here risk offending him, but hey, the guy lives in Omaha or something. Is he gonna hire some Guido to whack my ass here in the PNW?), ah, exuberant. Kinda Beat. You know, like Ginsberg or something. Raining words. This is a compliment.

You don't like wordiness, you won't like it. You want consistency of capitalization, you won't like it (psst, DA--"It's" in S3, "I" in S4).

His poetry is kind of the literary equivalent of the funny car. A little (but not that much) odd looking and something that goes zero to 250 in, like, under six seconds.

Fast. Wear a helmet and a Kevlar suit. He's that good.

Oops! Other poems too! Maybe y'all would like Dream Girl by SweetSexStories as well, or even better.

Well, if you do, we have nothing to talk about. Just a comment.

Do check out Zodiac Lover by sensualquills. It's funny and, thanks be to God, doesn't claim to be a haiku, though its syllable count is 5-7-5.

I'm off to wander idly about the streets of Tokyo. Oyasuminasai.

 

[champagne1982]

Good Friday morning. There are thirteen new poems posted this second day of November. Happy birth month fellow SaggiScorps.

There are only four voices speaking in today's submission list so variety may be limited.

Temple of the Heart brings us five poems of credible writing. They explore some concrete imagery and include fresh metaphor. Occassionally the poet imposes what they seem to perceive as poetic language on their writing and I find that out of place in contemporary poetry, unless you're producing a more classical piece.

sensualquills exercises the rhyme and meter of the limerick in her five groupings. The unsophisticated language of this form doesn't rouse my laughter, as I'd expect from a limerick, in fact, I found it far too juvenile to be appealing. I hope this poet keeps writing but I do so with the wish that she'll begin to mature and use more individuality in her writing. She has an astute grasp of worldly wisdom and I'd like to see what she'll do with it if she unties the straps holding her to convention.

oasis665 has two coming of age poems that bring us through the first anxious encounters and into the confident hours spent as familiar partners. There are a few too many metaphors at play in these poems, perhaps with practice the poet will learn the art of extending one until just before it breaks. Less is more always holds true.

The Weed by Snurge, is the sole poem to earn a link, possibly due to the virtue of being the sole submission of this poet today. I liked the light story he tells about a being that just can't be gotten rid of no matter how much attention is given over to its disposal. Maybe, he should have asked Don Corleon to make it an offer it can't refuse or the bomb squad to try and blow it up, since he seemed to try everything else.

Have a good weekend and if you find a gem, please tell us about it. This thread is not solely the stage of the daily reviewers but is meant to be shared by the whole community circle. p for those who think they're outside of it).