New Poetry Recommendations

Wednesday's Review

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I had a touch of insomnia and saw 8 pieces posted at 3 am but nothing then rang my bell. I've looked again and nothing more's been posted and they still don't do it for me. Maybe my clapper's busted cause they still don't ring my bell. I'll check back later to see if any others are posted. But if you see something that I've missed, be my guest and tell us all about it. Give 'em a look but remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.

In the meantime, I think I'll read some old goodies for weekend postings....

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WickedEve said:
If these are the only poems posted today, then I'd suggest making Pedestrian dreams: Silver Spring by KOLKORE© the one to read out of today's group.


Thanks WE — perhaps my clapper isn't so busted after all. That was the only one I'd looked at a couple times, but I just couldn't wrap my mind around its imagery.
 
LeBroz said:
Thanks WE — perhaps my clapper isn't so busted after all. That was the only one I'd looked at a couple times, but I just couldn't wrap my mind around its imagery.
I didn't really get it at first, but remembered it was a pedestrian's dream, and it does have a surreal quality. Not sure about the frog and dog, though.
 
Wednesday's Review - add-on

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There's been another poem posted that's rather funny, if DSMIV means Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. From the mind of foehn2 comes Lemon Pie in the DSMIV. It just seems to have a light air to it, despite the seriousness implied in that title. Give it a peek — foehn never disappoints.

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Oh, it's Thursday! That's right. I'm doing the review today. I remembered! Well, I may not get it done until later. Problems to deal with this morning. But I did take a quick look and I see quite a few poems. I read the one at the top of the list: 3 heads on stick by Rumpleteazer© You can't go wrong with heads on a stick or with lines, like:
This was peanuts compared to
the devilish tilt of one stiffening brow
that the crowd compared favourably with a mature Jude Law
 
Virgin Landscape by LargoKitt© is quite good. These lines grabbed my attention:

Moving gingerly through the gullies
A miniature man, climbing to the heights
Perching on your lower lip


I've read erotica before that describes the fleshy landscape of a lover, but this one is worth a read.

Other than that, just go read all the new poems by Rumpleteazer
 
The Devils Lust by nighwing326 gave me something completely unexpected in line six:

Your mine here in Hell.

i never thought of Hell as having been mined. why would someone want to mine it? what would be being mined? okay, obviously the ground or walls. but what keeps the fires in Hell burning? would you mine to hide, or to recover, or to smother, or...

and so from a poem i may or may not normally mention comes an idea that may or may not spawn a poem from me.

i must keep an eye out for little gems like that in the future. looks like i'll have to keep a closer eye on the new poems! (i think i just lost another hour in my day. how do i do it to myself?)

:rose:
 
Friday September 28

Hello fellow Literoticans, I'm hoping that this, the last Friday in September finds you as horny and kinky as you can get since our own very unpredictablebijou has firmed ;) the deadline for the Naughty Poetry Challenge up to the 1st of October.

There are 25 new poems on the list today, several from some of my favourite Lit poets who you'd find invaluable to read -

Steve Porter always makes poetry look simple. Check out his two offerings today. One I think is a Bob form (I'm likely wrong) Oh Tiger Moon and the other is a free verse Ashamed of my bad behavior

twelveoone - Red October and

Minervous keeps a VHS library of some moments to be savoured in Wow and Flutter -- to name but 3.

JOnceTwo just began submitting poetry to Literotica this past Sunday. He's writing out his longing and using a metaphor that has, sadly, become all too identifiable for many people in this new millenium. Check out the content of This Bed and share, with swallowedscream and I, in the discovery of potential in this contributor.

Curiouswife pens a quiet plea for honest leadership in what could be interpreted as the corridors of justice, higher learning or even government. I still hear her Footsteps Through the Hall echoing in my head.

swallowedscream gets intimate with My Poetry Journal. This is a fun poem full of wonderful images and some clever word play. I needed something to read without hidden meaning or doom and gloom, so her poem lightened up my review at the perfect time. You can decide though and maybe read her other two submissions as well.

Rumpleteaser has one poem today and a few more yesterday. He's been exploring a different aspect of life lately, a little less "doom and gloom" to quote him from another thread. Linds is a fine example of his lighter side and I found a lot of enjoyment in this poem.

For some subtle use of rhyme and enjambment check out this first submission September is the Cruelest Month by new Literotica poet, Poetspeak. I enjoyed the literary content and the poet's gentle approach to ending, both a season and an emotional matter. It's nicely done.

To close my reading of the new poems I read the moving memorial poem to a tiny life whose brief moment sparked a strong and emotional echo of support for her loving parents and family. joeys-game gives us One Small Angel.

My comments and suggestions are meant to make the poetry better for me to read and are simply my opinion. Please remember that your poem is in your control and nothing a reviewer can say will make it better or worse than what YOU want it to be. Thanks to the poets who submitted their work to share with us. If I have neglected a piece anyone feels should have been mentioned on this thread, please take a moment and tell us about it.

Have a wonderful weekend!
 
not new

that 'linds' one wasnt new.
a re-post

i took a catnap then came back :), cleaning up my uh selection
 
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wildsweetone said:
The Devils Lust by nighwing326 gave me something completely unexpected in line six:



i never thought of Hell as having been mined. why would someone want to mine it? what would be being mined? okay, obviously the ground or walls. but what keeps the fires in Hell burning? would you mine to hide, or to recover, or to smother, or...

and so from a poem i may or may not normally mention comes an idea that may or may not spawn a poem from me.

i must keep an eye out for little gems like that in the future. looks like i'll have to keep a closer eye on the new poems! (i think i just lost another hour in my day. how do i do it to myself?)

:rose:

Or else it's: You're mine
here in hell etc.

Kolkore
 
Sunday's Review

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Chris has bailed — every so often life intrudes. So at least for this Sunday, here're my quick picks.


Boxlicker101 has 3 quickie limericks up today: Tex, The Schmuck, and The Candidate. What can I say. They're limericks. Rather like a sugar rush.


swallowedscream has a fun piece about an unfunny subject in Flu Schmu!. Read it through — those last two words are too funny {in the context of all that precede}. Remember to keep a bucket at bedside, just in case.


Finally, Minervous has the best of the day, IMO, in Un-dream for My Dead. I just love the sound of didgeridoo and the way the images just seem to cascade through my head, brought on by such phrases as:

I do not know my ancestors.
They are entombed in Idaho
in a graveyard smashed
by tractors—loggers seeking trees,
cracking headstones, Caterpillar tread.

That's it for today. Give 'em a look; see what you think and remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.

Now, who wants to stand up, set aside the Sunday paper, crossword, and funnies and do the Sunday reviews?

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today's treat, a piece of:

The Waste Land by TS Eliot

I. THE BURIAL OF THE DEAD

APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee
With a shower of rain; we stopped in the colonnade,
And went on in sunlight, into the Hofgarten,
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour.
Bin gar keine Russin, stamm' aus Litauen, echt deutsch.
And when we were children, staying at the archduke's,
My cousin's, he took me out on a sled,
And I was frightened. He said, Marie,
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.

What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

for the rest of the 433 lines, go here.


====================================================================


this review contains some constructive criticism that is intended to help some poets with their writing. there is a limitation on the use of smilies in posts on Literotica and therefore i am unable to include what i would like. my intention is to encourage and help by giving suggestions to poets.




New Poems.

Milking the Serpent by Krenna Smart. this long poem kept my attention to the end. there are a few places where cliches take over, a spelling error (stanza 2 line 4 'burse' should be 'burst'), i like the sounds that come through when reading this poem aloud. i like the straight talk that comes through in the story. i think to improve, i would suggest tightening a few areas where verbiage occurs, that would likely enhance the language at the same time. i enjoyed this poem.

A place meant for intimacy by assumepressure (there is something amiss with this poet's submission page, the poem does not show up there). was the first line of this poem a second title? if not, i don't understand the capital letters, but i do like the quirky aspect of it. also the second line with the repetition and capital-less 'hot' with periods. hooked. i have no suggestions for improvement for this poem. Welcome to Literotica, poet.

Hoetry by blakesilverman is worth a read for the language.

This Is Not Poetry by Rumpleteazer got me thinking as all the poetry from this poet does. if you haven't read this poet's poetry yet, then do so. to improve, i'd suggest basic 'i' to 'I' and perhaps other punctuation inclusions - but really, it somehow all seems to fit no matter how the poet presents it.

Well by Minervous. excellent poem. excellent technical presentation. initially i twitched at line 4, specifically 'the fathom', but it's growing on me now. great writing.

ghost_girl, if you would like my thoughts on your poem The Empty Hole up today, please contact me and i'll PM them to you.



=========================================================
those poems i did not choose for this review either contained typing errors or simply did not stand out to me. please note that these are my opinions on poems, it is up to you as a reader and/or writer to form your own. go read, go comment and keep writing!


:rose:
 
wildsweetone said:
today's treat, a piece of:

The Waste Land by TS Eliot

I. THE BURIAL OF THE DEAD

APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee
With a shower of rain; we stopped in the colonnade,
And went on in sunlight, into the Hofgarten,
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour.
Bin gar keine Russin, stamm' aus Litauen, echt deutsch.
And when we were children, staying at the archduke's,
My cousin's, he took me out on a sled,
And I was frightened. He said, Marie,
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.

What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

for the rest of the 433 lines, go here.


====================================================================


this review contains some constructive criticism that is intended to help some poets with their writing. there is a limitation on the use of smilies in posts on Literotica and therefore i am unable to include what i would like. my intention is to encourage and help by giving suggestions to poets.




New Poems.

Milking the Serpent by Krenna Smart. this long poem kept my attention to the end. there are a few places where cliches take over, a spelling error (stanza 2 line 4 'burse' should be 'burst'), i like the sounds that come through when reading this poem aloud. i like the straight talk that comes through in the story. i think to improve, i would suggest tightening a few areas where verbiage occurs, that would likely enhance the language at the same time. i enjoyed this poem.

A place meant for intimacy by assumepressure (there is something amiss with this poet's submission page, the poem does not show up there). was the first line of this poem a second title? if not, i don't understand the capital letters, but i do like the quirky aspect of it. also the second line with the repetition and capital-less 'hot' with periods. hooked. i have no suggestions for improvement for this poem. Welcome to Literotica, poet.

Hoetry by blakesilverman is worth a read for the language.

This Is Not Poetry by Rumpleteazer got me thinking as all the poetry from this poet does. if you haven't read this poet's poetry yet, then do so. to improve, i'd suggest basic 'i' to 'I' and perhaps other punctuation inclusions - but really, it somehow all seems to fit no matter how the poet presents it.

Well by Minervous. excellent poem. excellent technical presentation. initially i twitched at line 4, specifically 'the fathom', but it's growing on me now. great writing.

ghost_girl, if you would like my thoughts on your poem The Empty Hole up today, please contact me and i'll PM them to you.



=========================================================
those poems i did not choose for this review either contained typing errors or simply did not stand out to me. please note that these are my opinions on poems, it is up to you as a reader and/or writer to form your own. go read, go comment and keep writing!


:rose:


Wasteland, how appropriate! and one of my all time favorite poems.

Dear WSO- why in PM? would my words stain this hallowed place?

thank you for the mention

:rose:
 
ghost_girl said:
Wasteland, how appropriate! and one of my all time favorite poems.

Dear WSO- why in PM? would my words stain this hallowed place?

thank you for the mention

:rose:

stain? no. no. no.

i only suggested privately sending you my thoughts because i do not comment openly on poems that have no Personal Comments chosen on their submission. i assume that if the poet does not want personal comments, then my reviews might not be welcome. i do not comment publically on any poems that do not allow for public commenting - just my personal choice.

but, because i enjoy your writing and because you are a PF&D regular i thought i'd offer you my thoughts in private if you wish them. :)

i see a PM coming your way. ;)

:rose:
 
wildsweetone said:
stain? no. no. no.

i only suggested privately sending you my thoughts because i do not comment openly on poems that have no Personal Comments chosen on their submission. i assume that if the poet does not want personal comments, then my reviews might not be welcome. i do not comment publically on any poems that do not allow for public commenting - just my personal choice.

but, because i enjoy your writing and because you are a PF&D regular i thought i'd offer you my thoughts in private if you wish them. :)

i see a PM coming your way. ;)

:rose:
WSO-

I didn't know that was your policy, and I apologize for seeming snarky, ( as my daughters would say). I appreciate every single second you spend doing reviews. I know it is hard work and a thank less job. I did them for a while, and even though my future presence will not be found hours spent at this site, I will always read the poetry. I will always care about the words people struggle to get out. It is hard. Writing is hard. Anyone who says otherwise is a fibba. I once told Perdita that it wasn't work and I thought she was gonna bust a gut trying to paddle me from Cali. I miss her.

Thanks again. Your words are valued
and taken to :heart:

;)
 
ghost_girl said:
WSO-

I didn't know that was your policy, and I apologize for seeming snarky, ( as my daughters would say). I appreciate every single second you spend doing reviews. I know it is hard work and a thank less job. I did them for a while, and even though my future presence will not be found hours spent at this site, I will always read the poetry. I will always care about the words people struggle to get out. It is hard. Writing is hard. Anyone who says otherwise is a fibba. I once told Perdita that it wasn't work and I thought she was gonna bust a gut trying to paddle me from Cali. I miss her.

Thanks again. Your words are valued
and taken to :heart:

;)

you're very welcome!
i'm glad to have a chance to help :)

(i owe you a PM - probably get to it tomorrow, family all here tonight - but for now, try 'to' instead of 'or' in that last line. and perhaps change the existing 'to' to 'on'. any use? ;) ).

:rose:
 
October 2

There are three new poems today. Two are not completely to my liking and that's partly just preference, but both could benefit from editing and become stronger poems. And one of the three is a standout. You'll just have to keep reading to see which one, won't you? :)

Ember by JOnceTwo is a clever title for a poem about rekindling passion, and the notion that passion is poetic, which is stated in the poem, is very good indeed. The piece has some good images and a really good thematic pace, but most of the imagery is hackneyed or under-explored. There are also some typos and way too many commas, most of which are unnecessary or wrong. Having said that, however, this poem has lots of potential. Some fresh, specific images and an editorial dusting would give it the fire it needs--poetically and thematically.

darthjser gives us Damned, a poem with too much theme. There’s so much going on in this poem: life scorned, a meaningless paper chase, betrayal by a trusted friend, writer’s block, sexual excess, and more (!) that the writer can’t settle on one thing long enough to say anything really meaningful. And that problem seems to play out in a sort of static shorthand that is difficult to follow. Like the previous poem, this one has lots of possibility, but the writer needs to choose one example of being damned and focus in on it. That, in my opinion, would render a strong, meaningful poem.

Dame Chatterly in Elsinore by Minervous is my favorite of the three and is really a wonderful piece of writing. The comparison of the writer’s puny sexcapades to a literary ideal is handled very well: her disappointment is palpable. And there are powerful lines as this excerpt demonstrates:

I went on to other men, some good, most not.
My husband is just one of them. Children
tie me to his stifled heart. I'm in his bed
like aspirin, to treat the fever, body ache,
the odd tension in his head. Fellatio


My only nitpick with this piece is that it tells a bit more than it shows, but that could be easily corrected with a little editing. All in all, this is an excellent poem that you must read.

These, of course, are just my muddled opinions. If you disagree by all means make your recommendations here. But first read, vote, and comment.

Peace,
Angeline
 
Wednesday's Review

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A nice light load today, only 10 posted so far, so I'll run with what we've got and check back later.


Boxlicker101 adds another limerick to his collection, with Secret to a Long Life. Just a cute lite read.


Poetspeak offers us a piece in Beautiful Disaster that's quite sparse, pared of superfluous wording:
A masterwork
Crimson emotions
Creating art
Like a god

Stains of chaos
A blush of frenzy
Throwing red
By candle light


Finally, in a more substantive vein {and the best posting for the day}, is bogusbrig's Democracy. An excellent piece of social commentary {as usual} which, in avoiding a particular issue, gives you much to ponder. Consider:
The crowd outside has become restless.
A demonstration has begun with placards held aloft.
Some support THIS, some support THAT,
a lone anarchist holds up a placard, OTHER
Half of the crowd think THIS is THAT,
the other half think THAT is THIS.

Go ahead and give it a read. I believe you won't be disappointed.


That's it for this morning, from the light to the profound. But don't let this stop you from at least giving the others a quick read. You might find something more to your liking. Just remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.

Now, have a good day and remember ~ at the end of the day you''ll be closer to the weekend than you are this morning.

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There were several illustrated poems yesterday.

Of those, I would like to mention Childhood by, selenakittyn. It is tastefully done in black and white, or would it be considered greyscale? I don't know, but it just tugged at my fleeting memories of being a young'un. That is the best I can do in the why did I mention. The words fit, but the pic is just haunting in its inherent goodness and the way it made me feel.

~~~

Next,

Get me a sunset by, Foehn2.

At first glance of the sunset pic, I didn't notice the trees in the shadows of the setting sun. The more I look at this, the more I see. I found the poem excellent, I could not see but one thing I would change and that is the word "little" next to bit. It feels redundant and does not really add anything to the poem where syllable is concerned. But that is being nit picky. Definitely worth the time to read and view. MY favorite lines are-

"If possible, include coyote howls,
and if the shuddering sun is not too tense,
I’d also like to hear the wings of owls."

I am not sure why, but this brought a sense of Jack London and my dad. Can't figure that one out, lol.

also, Foehns Road to Forever , well, I just loved this one and maybe for personal reasons. It reminds me that no journey is ever really finished and we never know where a path may lead. It also reminds me of my favorite Monet painting. If anyone else has seen it, you know what I mean.

The text and pic together are a perfect meld. I might add this to my favorites list.

~~~

I lOVE the concept that Rumpleteazer
presented with his "soundtrack" poems, however, I found them almost illegible. I don't know if it was just me, but I had a lot of trouble with this. Maybe he could darken the wording a bit and that would help.

~~~

Concerning pale or illegible text in illustrated poems, I had the same problem with 4degrees' illustrated poem, In Security

Curt's work is most always a must read, but this one, the pale brown text is almost swallowed with the beige background. I am not saying it is not good, mind you, just difficult in its presentation. Check it out and form your own opinion, it may be just my ancient eyes are failing me more than usual today.

~~

A good laugh is presented by Boxlicker101, in his Blonde Joke # 4.

~~~

well, those are the ones that really caught my eye, if anyone cares. Thought I would pop in and give'm a mention. And, as others point out, this is my opinion only and everyone has one of their own, so you may agree or disagree and that is what democracy is all about. I waited until today to do this so I wouldn't be butting in. Have a nice day, folks and smile!
 
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ghost_girl said:
There were several illustrated poems yesterday.

Of those, I would like to mention Childhood by, selenakittyn. It is tastefully done in black and white, or would it be considered greyscale? I don't know, but it just tugged at my fleeting memories of being a young'un. That is the best I can do in the why did I mention. The words fit, but the pic is just haunting in its inherent goodness and the way it made me feel.

~~~

Next,

Get me a sunset by, Foehn2.

At first glance of the sunset pic, I didn't notice the trees in the shadows of the setting sun. The more I look at this, the more I see. I found the poem excellent, I could not see but one thing I would change and that is the word "little" next to bit. It feels redundant and does not really add anything to the poem where syllable is concerned. But that is being nit picky. Definitely worth the time to read and view. MY favorite lines are-

"If possible, include coyote howls,
and if the shuddering sun is not too tense,
I’d also like to hear the wings of owls."

I am not sure why, but this brought a sense of Jack London and my dad. Can't figure that one out, lol.

also, Foehns Road to Forever , well, I just loved this one and maybe for personal reasons. It reminds me that no journey is ever really finished and we never know where a path may lead. It also reminds me of my favorite Monet painting. If anyone else has seen it, you know what I mean.

The text and pic together are a perfect meld. I might add this to my favorites list.

~~~

I lOVE the concept that Rumpleteazer
presented with his "soundtrack" poems, however, I found them almost illegible. I don't know if it was just me, but I had a lot of trouble with this. Maybe he could darken the wording a bit and that would help.

~~~

Concerning pale or illegible text in illustrated poems, I had the same problem with 4degrees' illustrated poem, In Security

Curt's work is most always a must read, but this one, the pale brown text is almost swallowed with the beige background. I am not saying it is not good, mind you, just difficult in its presentation. Check it out and form your own opinion, it may be just my ancient eyes are failing me more than usual today.

~~

A good laugh is presented by Boxlicker101, in his Blonde Joke # 4.

~~~

well, those are the ones that really caught my eye, if anyone cares. Thought I would pop in and give'm a mention. And, as others point out, this is my opinion only and everyone has one of their own, so you may agree or disagree and that is what democracy is all about. I waited until today to do this so I wouldn't be butting in. Have a nice day, folks and smile!
I saw you flitting about on the public comments section of the new poems GG so, I figured I'd wait and see if you wrote them up.

I agree with all you say.

Sadly, there are no new poems for today, Friday the 5th of October. I'm suspecting that whoever takes on Sunday will have a load.
 
Two poems from the 4th

That I really liked by Paris Garters

Unbuilding the temple

Perfection comes in at the eyes
and leaves at the hands.

reminded me of Yeats " A Drinking Song"
The repetition at the end seemed to draw mixed reaction, I personally didn't find it excessive in the context of the poem.
It reads like a prayer or religious rite with some lovely soft imagery.


also
I have built my house of you

My favorite lines

your blood borrowed back
like sea foam in jars for the winter (surely they rushed
with their jars toward the shore when she
emerged, foam-born) this I collected, jars of your
pearl sea water

and

I will paint everything white to make room for the ghosts

I just Love that line.

A very slow sensual poem that is dark and rich in it's language and intent

Certainly one of the more imaginative poems I've seen in a while.

I do agree that perhaps the order of the " house" might be rearranged for a better flow..otherwise don't change a word

Just my thoughts
 
LeBroz says ther are a few up and yes, there are!

My hubby is a welder, makes the most beautiful wrought iron in the world, ( okay, I am biased,) but there is a poem today called

Forge

It is unique (for Lit), I would say. And yes, I am partial to blacksmith poems. It is a really good piece of work, in my opinion.

It opens as so-

With the gentle immorality
of your bituminous kiss
my iron will alloys...


read, vote,( if you so choose} and enjoy and let the poet know you liked his/her work. :) I for one, hope to read more from this poet.

ttfn

julie
 
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