New sex partner

[skizbees]

Someone I've known for a little over a year before graduating from college. He's talented enough to leave me unable to walk for a few minutes every time we've had sex. While that may seem cool for some, I tend to dry out after minutes, even though I know I'm aroused and ended up very sore, even with the aid of lubrication. It must be nerves..he's on the larger side, and finding a comfortable angle has been an interesting battle. I don't want to associate painful sex with him or have to stop simply because our bodies are not physically compatible for comfortable sex 100% of the time. I do drink plenty of water, but also have a high metabolism. Not sure if that has anything to do with a sometimes low libido. How do I get over my fear/arousal of a larger penis? I like it and the man attached to it. ::sigh::

 

[SweetErika]

How much foreplay is there? What does that consist of? How much manual and/or penetration with a toy before sex? How many orgasms do you have before you attempt penetration?

What type of lube are you using? Have you tried silicone lube?

Are you using condoms? I ask because I've found certain types of condoms (even some styles of the same brand) irritate the hell out of me, and we've figured out lube is a must to avoid sore spots, even though I'm not short on natural lube at all.

Do you do kegel exercises? Increasing your control over your vaginal muscles could help. Also, try tightening and relaxing many times before penetration, as doing so can help you relax more.

I've had a negative association that lead to painful sex in the past. Our solutions included:
-Not having sex for awhile, focusing on other types of pleasure and intimacy instead

-Making sure I had at least one really good orgasm before sex

-If it hurts, we stop, do something else for awhile, then try again

-Using toys of similar size

-I controlled the speed of penetration and pace of thrusting; we started extremely slow, and either used a position that allowed me to control it, or I let him know verbally, and he would speed up slowly

Overall, it requires a lot of communication and trust, and for me, plenty of time.

 

[SerchersUK]

SweetErika has some excellent advice, especially about taking time to adjust, so to speak. I spend some time preparing H for me, and this can include hours of saucy text messages first. The difference is we're married and we can talk openly and frankly so we 'know what's what'. You guys are still in the 'must impress' stage.

I'm assuming the problem is girth and not length. The former is easier to sort out (see above). I know some women don't like erections to be too long, it's uncomfortable for both partners but there are positions which make maximum penetration possible which is comfortable for her and satisfying for him. Just experiment. Good luck !!

 

[sba]

I find having sex with cut men a little hard,uncut can be more enjoyable.
The above is for men with large girth.
Also drinking alcohol alot before sex makes you dry too! have you tried not drinking so much or any at all before sex?

 

[skizbees]

We talked for a bit and he asked me how much water was I drinking, since he knows I space out meals at times. We don't use condoms since we're monogamous. A few nights ago I had about eight cups of water (gym night workout at our local gym), and one of his homemade protein shakes (post workout ). The sex afterward (post cardio, heh) got instantly comfortable and I've been smiling like the Cheshire Cat ever since.

 

[MR.GGG]

WOW - what brand??

I've never heard of using a protein shake (other than the OBVIOUS one - snort) as a LUBRICANT before ... but hell ... whatever works for you.

Have you tried the GSpot technique from my TRY THIS thread. If you have a sometimes low libido you may find that multiple orgasms INCREASE your oxytocin levels to the point where you end up wearing him out.

Jussathort ...

 

[PowerLifter84]

The protein would have nothing to do with becoming more lubricated. Sometimes after working out, women tend to be more arroused and that could have been it? Even though the protein shake may have no affect on how wet you are, that doesn't mean you can quit drinking them. Be sure to add a little sugar in with it, though. It's just as important as the protein itself.

 

[skizbees]

Lol..no..no..the protein shake was after the evening gym workout at closing time before we went back to his place, not as a lubricant. One sex position I'd never tried before revealed a G spot I didn't know I had. But we can both have multiple orgasms.