Nighthawk: A Superhero Story (closed for Siobhancan99)

[siobhancan99]

"Hadley, don't sell yourself short. You're cute, for real. For every girl there's a middle aged perv who wants to look at her tits. You just have to find the right one." She grinned at her friend and waggled her eyebrows "You know, someone who only dated punk girls in like... the 90s. Like a good 45-50 year old dude who just wants you to wear doc martens and fishnets and an old Black Flag t-shirt"

Monica arched an eyebrow at Nick's news. That was some crazy werewolf sounding shit. Ordinarily she'd be like "that's bullshit" but she thought back to long long ago... 9 days... when someone shot her with a god damn lightning machine. "well." She popped a fry in her mouth "This city is a cesspool. We should have gone to State Gabi. Your mom was right" She winked at Gabi, teasing her as her mother had "not moved out to the country so her daughter could just go get shot in some big terrible American city."

At her friend's groan she tossed a fry at her playfully. "So what the fuck is swat? and what's with the claw or bites? you think someone set dogs on him or something? like maybe he was stealing from his dealer and they set like a pit bull on him or some shit?" She was in full 'everything has a rational explanation that isn't aliens' mode. She figured that was part of having a secret identity. Though for now, she supposed the vigilante part of her was the secret identity. The secret identity was to her mind the fake part. Like batman is really batman and Bruce Wayne was the mask. Same with Clark Kent. Maybe even more with Clark Kent. He was what Superman thought about humanity. He was like... humanity fan fiction written by an alien.

 

[Halcyon638]

“Ah, that’s so sweet of you to say,” Hadley said as Monica joked about someone perving on her.

“You just need to meet our friend, Ian. He only goes for girls with piercings and all that,” Gabi said cheerily as she took a bite of green apple.

Hadley looked at Monica. “Yeah…I’ve already been warned away from him,” she said with a grin. “Kinda hot, though.”

When Monica commented on the news story, Gabi responded, “Uggh, my mom is legit going to freak out. I’ve had to basically lie to her and tell her I go to class, then go straight home and study every day.”

“Wasn’t there like a news story from ten years ago about some guy who tried to bite somebody’s face off after using bath salts?” Nick mused. “I’m willing to bet it’s that. First phase of the zombie apocalypse.”

“I happen to have a terrible quote-unquote friend from NYC who is all about Swat these days,” Hadley noted. “It’s a club drug that started out in Europe. It’s basically like a combo of molly and a more mellow coke.”

“You need to go back and start that sentence with ‘Word on the street is…’ ” Nick remarked, glancing up from his Nintendo Switch momentarily.

After lunch, Monica went to her writing class. Dr. Friedberg encouraged all of her students again to go see Professor Leonard’s reading that evening at the start of class as Monica noticed that Shaun was late to arrive. He didn’t end up making it.

When Monica returned to her apartment after class and mentioned Shaun’s absence, a strained expression crossed Gabi’s face. “Yeah, he’s spending a lot of time at home,” she said. “His mom needs more help these days I guess. He’s supposed to give me a call tonight once he gets back to campus.”

Gabi started getting ready to study at the library with a couple of people from her Evolutionary Bio class. “Where are you going again? Are you and Austin getting together? I’ll be at the library until at least 8 in case you two need to study physics again,” she said with a sly grin.

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica shrugged as she was neither familiar with molly nor coke, and had occasionally smoked a little of Ian's weed with Tom but hadn't really been into it. "Ian is not kind of hot. ew." she makes a face "you better be kidding" then rolled her eyes at Hadley and Gabi "And don't encourage poor Hadley here to saddle herself with a child at her age."

She hmmmed when Gabi said Shaun was stuck at his mom's. She was concerned for him as he deserved to do well in school, and also concerned for Gabi who deserved to have a nice boyfriend. Maybe she'd check in on him in her alter ego. Make sure nothing was going on.

"I'm going to that Literature reading that Leonard's doing. Professor Howe sort of said I should go? I dunno. It seemed sort of... like an adult thing to do." She laughed "Which sounds so sad like... look at poor Monica at 19 all trying to be a grown up. But I mean isn't that why we are going to college or some shit? So I thought it would be fun. So no need for you to make yourself scarce as I'll be hanging out with a middle aged woman and not a basketball player." A hot middle aged woman, but still the point remained. "So no you won't be kept up tonight by me covering the sounds of our fucking with Billie Ellish."

She had a quick shower and blew out her hair, then slipped into some blue capris pants and a white blouse. She threw on some strappy heels and some hoop earings, did light makeup with a plum eyeshadow and got ready to go out. She hmmed and took the remote for the ship and stuck it in her purse "just in case" but fully intended to just be a normal person tonight. Still, the best laid plans of mice and men and all that. And maybe she'd do a quick patrol after. possibly.

 

[Halcyon638]

“Dang,” Gabi remarked when Monica mentioned the name of the professor who would be reading. “That was one of the events the LSA put on our calendar because he’s part Dominican, but I totally forgot about it when I talked to my study group. It’s awesome that you’re going! Pretty soon you’re going to be hosting wine and cheese things here. By the way, I was thinking about having everybody over for a game night or movie night this weekend. What do you think? Let me know if one night works better for you.”

As Monica was on her way out, Gabi said, “Ooh, you look pretty. Going to pick up some cute English major on the side? One of these days you’re going to have to sit me down and show me how you get that effect with that eyeshadow. I’ll see you later, carino.”

It took Monica a bit of time to find the right building, so she was relieved she’d left plenty of time to make it to the reading. The hallways were filled with vivid, striking paintings by what appeared to be current students in the school of visual arts. The crowd was a mixture of what appeared to be faculty, community members over 30, and a decent-sized contingent of what appeared to be students. She spotted a couple of students from Dr. Friedberg’s writing class, along with Dr. Friedberg walking hand-in-hand, somewhat adorably, with a little old man the professor’s age. There were tables lined with fruit, cookies, cheese, and crackers laid out.

There was no sign of Professor Howe, though it was still early. Monica needed to stop off at the restroom and located one not far from the auditorium where Professor Leonard would be reading and from the tables outside the room set up to sell copies of his short story collection, Sidewalk to Heaven. As Monica was about to wash her hands and the roar of the hand dryers ceased for a moment, she could hear the sound of someone softly sobbing in one of the stalls nearby.

A moment later, as Monica washed, she saw Melanie Howe emerge from the stall, face and eyes reddened from recently crying, her eyeshadow in dark streaks. Before Monica could be given the option to turn away and pretend she hadn’t noticed, the two woman locked eyes. “Monica,” the professor said. An instant transformation came over her face as if she was willing herself back to composure. “Nice to see you,” she said, the only audible sign of her sobs from a moment ago the slightly congested nature of her tone. The elegantly dressed woman stood in front of the mirror and reached into her purse, but produced only a half-torn shred of Kleenex. “I was, uh…”She trailed off as she grasped at the disintegrating tissue, a barely noticeable tremble to her fingers.

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica paused for a moment, feeling awkward. She reached into her own purse and pulled out a fresh pack of tissues. She pressed it into Melanie's hand, holding on for a moment to still her hands "Keep them" she uses the moment to inspect the woman to see if there was a sign of any physical abuse or violence, or if this was just emotional toil... not that one was better than the other but if someone had done something to the woman she would have to inquire. Still, it didn't hurt to ask "You ok?"

It was obvious that the woman was NOT ok, but it was a way for her to talk if she wanted to talk, or not to talk if she wanted to waive it off. She was cognizant that they weren't peers, but at the same time she was the only one around and the only person who could be a sounding board for the professor if she needed one. She mentally revised her plan to go out looking for swat dealers, in case she needed to be there for Melanie after the reading. "I mean I know its not really my place to ask but..."

 

[Halcyon638]

“Thank you,” Melanie said hesitantly, gently wiping at her green eyes with the tissue. Monica didn’t spot any signs of physical abuse on her face or the parts of her body not concealed by her light green dress. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” The older woman continued to dab away the makeup. She took another tissue and blew her nose.

“I’ll be out in a moment.” She looked at herself in the mirror again and briefly frowned, then dabbed again. A minute later, Melanie rejoined Monica outside of the bathroom. “I’m glad you’re here. Mateo is an excellent writer and a total sweetheart,” she said, smiling. “He’ll be happy at the turnout.”

As they made their way to the auditorium, the professor said, “Please tell me you tried the gelato place in Founder’s Square the other day. What did you have?” Melanie picked up a few crackers and pieces of cheese at one of the tables and stepped into the auditorium. “You’re an engineering major, right? What is it about the topic that interests you?” She exchanged a few brief greetings and waves with people who appeared to be colleagues and grabbed a cookie. "They usually try to lure the students to these types of events with free food," she noted. "Sometimes it works on the faculty, too." She took a bite of the candy-studded cookie. "Mmm. Highly recommended." With her napkin, she brushed some crumbs from her full lips.

As she found her way to a seat in the second row, she said, “I won’t be offended if you don’t sit with me. I know there are probably some of your classmates here and I’m sure they’ll be better company than someone twice your age.” Her mouth curled up in a subtle smile. “Though I promise I won’t talk homework or psychology if you do sit here.”

 

[siobhancan99]

Nodding and not prying she let the clearly NOT ok woman have her privacy. "My room mate wanted to come, she's part of the Latinx student group on campus. She overbooked though. She throws herself into everything. She over promises." She laughs "and then she stresses herself out over how much she has on her plate." She grabbed a cookie "free food is great. And yeah we tried the gelato. IT was good! I'm still not super clear on the difference between it and ice cream. Showing my hick from the sticks there I know." She grinned at the older woman "We don't have such fancy things in Cottersville. We have Breyers and Ben and Jerry's and if you're lucky, maybe Haagen Daas." She noshed the cookie "that was a good recommendation. Gabi's mom makes a good cookie. Actually she makes a ton of really great baked goods. She sent us up here with these amazing salted caramel brownies." She grabbed a Dr. Pepper from a can full of ice and cracked it open, carefully sipping it so as not to spill it. "I'll sit with you, and please talk about psych. I need all the help I can get. My background is very much 'feelings are things people have' so... yeah. We're not big talkers." She grinned and took another sip of her Dr. Pepper. "Um, engineering had a lot of appeals I guess? Like.... I like things to make sense and be useful you know? I was good at math and science but doing some theoretical bullshit and being like "this is what I think might happen because calculus told me" I like... I dunno. I" She felt sort of weird and awkward. Professor Howe clearly knew what she wanted out of life and so explaining her sort of childhood aspirations and unpacking them made her feel a little young and immature after a fashion, compared to the professor. She carried on though. "My dad is an engineer too. And it was just us for a long time. Plus my high school boyfriend and I had a plan. We were gonna go into robotics together and make shit that would make the world better. Or giant fighting robots like in japanese cartoons. But probably things to make the world better. Probably." She grinned at that. "So that was just always the goal. So combination of natural inclination, parental guidance and young love."

"What made you choose psych? were you ever a practicing psychologist or did you just go straight through academia?"

 

[Halcyon638]

Professor Howe shook her head as Monica described Gabi overextending herself. “I feel a little bad for your generation. I was right at the cusp where you could do well enough in school and have maybe one extracurricular and still get into a good school without breaking a sweat.”

She gave a small wave and a hello to another colleague who looked every bit the stereotypical professor in a tweed coat. “I don’t claim to be a gelato expert either,” she continued. “Something about the proportions of milk, sugar, and cream? From one small town girl to another, I can tell you you’re doing fine.” She popped a bit of honeydew melon into her mouth. “I must say, I make a pretty mean peanut butter pie. I really need to get back to baking more regularly. There’s something soothing to it—something about the ritual. Like the better parts of going to church.”

As Monica settled into the seat before her, Professor Howe’s smile widened a bit. When Moninca mentioned that she had her permission to discuss psychology, she responded, “Maybe it’s the psychologist in me but I’d rather talk about you.” She listened carefully as Monica discussed her motivations and goals regarding engineering.

“As someone who did my best avoid math until I realized I needed statistics for conducting research, I completely understand wanting to use it for something practical,” the red-haired woman remarked. She gave her full attention to Monica as she continued, a smile on her face. “Well, I hope you haven’t fully abandoned the fighting robots idea.”

When asked about her motivations, Professor Howe lifted her gaze thoughtfully. “I suppose it was a number of factors. On the one hand, as I think I mentioned the other day, I came at it through studying literature. I liked analyzing people’s motivations, how their environments and backgrounds impacted them. I also come from a family with a history of mental illness, so I probably spent more time than I should have trying to figure out why my parents were acting the way they were and wondering if there was something I could do to fix them.” Someone on stage was adjusting the microphone.

“I spent a few years after I got my Master’s working as a counselor before I decided to return for a PhD,” Professor Howe said. “Don’t get me wrong—I think counseling is vital, incredible work, but it was just—”

The speaker introduced Professor Leonard, a short, middle-aged man with a shining shaved head and wire-rim glasses. He made a few self-deprecating remarks and then began reading a well-crafted, slightly surreal and melancholy story from his collection.

After discussing their initial reactions to the story, Dr. Howe and Monica stepped out into the late evening summer sun. It was 7:12. Dr. Howe reached down into her purse. “Of course,” she sighed. “I left my iPad charger in my office.” She glanced back in the direction of the building in which her office was located; Monica’s apartment was in the other direction.

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica looked back at the building, trying to decide if the statement was just a statement or if it was a "well I should go this other direction" kind of thing and was momentarily paralyzed between wanting to offer to walk over there or understand she was being politely dismissed. She hmmmed "you know I could walk over there with you. I need to stop by the bookstore anyway. I keep promising my dad I'll send him some college sweatshirts that he could totally buy online and he feels are more authentic if they're from the actual store or something, like they aren't all sewn by the people in the same factory." She told herself it was dangerous at night on campus and really she was just doing her civic duty and she wasn't doing this because of some nascent schoolgirl crush on her pretty professor. No. Not at all. Totally straight Monica just walking her professor to the office for safety reasons because that's how civic minded she is. Nothing to see here.

She thought about resuming the conversation, but did want to give the woman an opportunity to be like "no, i'm good."

 

[Halcyon638]

“Sure—thank you,” Professor Howe said enthusiastically. “I think the bookstore’s open until 7:30 and it shouldn’t take long. I may have an extra Prospect U. pen in my office if you really want to impress him.” Though it was September, the evening air was still mild, and Monica could feel the warmth of the sun on her skin. The light gave the 40-something’s hair a coppery shimmer to it.

“So, do you and your roommate live in a dorm? An apartment? How are you liking it?” Professor Howe asked as they walked, occasionally making admiring glances in Monica’s direction. “I can’t say I’ve been to Cottersville but I have visited Walpole which I think is close?” Walpole was about a 15-minute drive away from Cottersville. “There are some beautiful trails in that part of the state. Being a California girl, the thing I miss most about living in the city is proximity to nature. Do you like hiking? There’s actually a quite nice state park just about an hour and fifteen minutes outside of the city. Gallagher Park.”

As they passed by the university’s health and counseling center, Professor Howe said, “I don’t think I quite finished answering your question before. Or maybe I did. In any case, counseling wasn’t for me. Some people can do it, but I wasn’t good at leaving that work in the office. It started to impact other facets of my life. So I decided to return to grad school and study attachment theory. We haven’t gotten to it yet, but attachment theory focuses on how we create deep, emotional bonds with other people and how those relationships can be impacted by our earlier patterns of attach—I’m sorry. I’m slipping into lecture mode. My wife used to threaten to start a ‘lecture jar’ I’d have to put a dollar in any time I started lecturing her about anything.” There was a wistfulness to her tone. Monica hadn’t noticed any wedding rings on the professor’s hands, and noticed that she wasn’t wearing one now.

They made it to Dr. Howe’s office. The building was lit but quiet. The professor slid her key into the door decorated with pictures of a white cat, European travel spots, and the Abraham Maslow quote reading “It isn't normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.”

The older woman opened the door. “You know, I actually do have a Prospect U. notepad they gave us at a recent conference if you think your dad might appreciate it. I just need to find it,” she said, flicking on the light switch and stepping into the office. As expected, there were rows and rows of psychology texts, but also a few shelves devoted to fiction. “Come in,” she said, giving a quick wave of invitation.

Dr. Howe opened two of her desk’s drawers. Though her green dress was modestly cut and there was nothing exaggerated about the motion, leaning over gave Monica a glimpse of the tops of her big breasts, which were lightly dappled with ruddy freckles. “Ah, here we go.” She held up a small notepad emblazoned with the university’s seal and extended it toward Monica.

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica was inordinately pleased at the invitation. She also was increasingly aware of the slight scrutiny of the professor and was flattered by it in a way she hadn't been by her film professor the day before. In part it was because of the more circumspect and respectful nature of it. Being looked at was nice, it was affirming. Being ogled was neither. Professor Howe was pretty and accomplished and at least put on a semblance of having her shit together, and so her attention was flattering. All the more so because she had wanted it before she got it, so there was an element of vindication of her coming along.

That became tinged with a tiny bit of embarrassment when Melanie started talking about attachment theory and how bonds are formed based on earlier attachments, and she had a flash of an old german man telling her she was attracted to the woman because of her absent mother. "that sounds all very Freudian. Well. It sounds all very Freud as projected through the lens of pop culture, which I'm going to admit is my sole window into Psychology except for your class." She laughed to try to dispel her nervousness and uncomfortable realizations. It was one thing to try to come to grips with her bisexuality and another to delve into this particular attraction. Besides, Melanie looking wasn't the same as her being stupid enough to jeopardize her career over a student fling so no real reason to analyze any of this too heavily. 'take the look as a victory and leave it be Monica' she told herself. She did, however, note the casual drop of 'wife' into the conversation.

She decided to engage in some good old fashioned deflection and also make a joke "So a woman too attached to her work studies attachment? So the movies are right and everyone who studies Psychology is really studying themselves huh?" She hoped that didn't come off wrong, sometimes she could put her foot in it.

She sat in a chair opposite Melanie's, probably there for students. "Oh wow thanks!" her dad would get a kick out of it, and it might save her the trouble of paying too much for a sweatshirt at the bookstore. "this might be even better because its official."

Her eyes flicked along the professor's body just a moment. Honestly the ginger thing was a bit exotic. In a class of 70 kids or so there hadn't been any. There were a few bottle redheads, but no actual gingers.

"oh and circling back around, yeah. Walpole is like, SUPER close. Its maybe 10 miles? That's like, practically next door out there. They were in our school district. Otherwise neither place would have enough kids for a whole class. Basically, anyone in Cottersville or Walpole works at the dam or is a farmer. Walpole especially is mostly farm kids. Beautiful out there though. We'd go hiking a lot, or hang out at the lake behind the dam. There's lots of trails back there."

 

[Halcyon638]

“Well, not to give you too much of an advantage over your classmates by discussing something we haven’t covered yet, but Freud was mostly full of it and knew next to nothing about women,” Melanie remarked. “There are some echoes of Freud in attachment theory but none of the, uh…out there stuff that you might be thinking of.” Grinning, she said, “I’m verging on ‘lecture jar’ territory. Feel free to nudge me if I go too far down that path.”

She let out a genuine laugh as Monica did a bit of armchair psychiatry on her. “I usually have to pay $90 an hour for that kind of insight. Next time, at least let me lie on your couch first.” There was an extended, more than slightly awkward pause, and then she added, “That’s another aspect of counseling pop culture gets wrong. I was disappointed in my first session when all there was was a regular chair.”

“Great,” Melanie said as Monica took the notepad from her. “I hope he likes it.” She pulled her tablet charger out of the wall while Monica discussed Walpole. “That sounds wonderful. I’ve been meaning to explore some new trails and I don’t mind a bit of a road trip. Maybe you could be my trail guide,” she said, a winking tone to her voice.

“It’s only fair that I walk you to the bookstore,” Melanie said with a smile as she locked up her office once more. “Any plans for tonight? And no, I won’t ask you whether that includes studying for my class.”

As they made it to the bookstore, the professor said, “You know, it’s funny. I talk with students and colleagues all the time about how it’s important to destigmatize and talk freely about mental illness, but then the moment I experience an episode in front of you, I fall back on ‘I’m fine.’ That’s not a great example to set.” A bittersweet smile crossed her lips. “You’ve been very kind. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me tonight.”

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica considers a long moment "Look." She leaned forward a little, "You should never feel like you have to explain your emotional state to someone, even if she's offering you tissues. Which is not to say you shouldn't feel like you can't. Whatever pain you have is yours to have and its yours to share or not to share." She screwed up her lips for a moment, wondering how much to share.

"Last year my boyfriend died. I was 18 but I was still in High School. I did not, ... to some extent do not... possess the tools to adequately process that. So there I was, in High School. In a tiny High School where all my teachers had Tom as a student. Where they all live in the same little planned community as his parents. And like... every minute. 'how are you Monica? are you ok Monica?' and like... I was not ok. I was inconsolably sad. I didn't want to move or eat or go to school or even shower or brush my teeth. I just wanted to wallow. The thing is you can't wallow. and the thing is like... to function and to live and to brush your teeth and go to school and graduate so that maybe some day you can move past whatever it is that's stopping you from getting through things... you have to tell yourself you're ok. You have to be able to be fine. everyone kept telling me I had to let myself not be fine, but that... that wasn't really the truth. I was already not fine and it wasn't a choice. I had to let myself be fine. I had to give myself permission to act as if I was fine internally and externally. Because life is there. Because being fine is how you pass chemistry. Or its how you get yourself to a seat so you can listen to your friend read his book."

She paused again "I'm not a doctor and honestly my grief processing is probably horrific, but I know this. It doesn't belong to anyone else. It belongs to me and yours belongs to you. Just because someone you recognize is offering you a chance to talk doesn't obligate you to talk to them. You owe them nothing and you owed me nothing and telling me you were fine was your right. Not just a right as it exists between two people but a right that you have that's intrinsic to yourself. It was your right to tell yourself you were fine, and in telling yourself you were fine to tell me you were fine. It's ok, when you need to be, to be OK. I think we had a nice night hanging out tonight, and to the extent that it is appropriate to do so given everything" referring to their teacher/student relationship "I think it would be nice if we did something again some time. Whether we do or not, it's always going to be up to you how much to share just like it is always going to be up to me how much to share. So don't apologize."

She stood up and inhaled, then exhaled "lets see if the bookstore is open. If it is you should buy a few chargers. One for the office, one for your bedroom and one for your bag, and the one in your bag doesn't leave your bag if you're at home or in the office. That's how I deal with my phone charger. One for the car... well when I still had access to a car... one for the bag, one for the kitchen, one for .." there was one at Tom's "One for my bedroom too."

 

[Halcyon638]

The psychology professor listened silently as Monica untangled the complex thoughts and emotions she’d been coping with. Melanie’s expression was hard to read, and she didn’t say anything for what seemed like a long while but was at most a minute or so. “I’m sorry about Tom,” she said, simply. “There’s a lot of wisdom in what you said. No one has an obligation to share their struggles. But I do think about how being upfront about them can open the door for other people to do the same when they might otherwise be reluctant.”

A student jogged by, holding a collie by its leash. “I’ve had a nice night with you, too. I…I would…really enjoy the chance to talk with you again, too. I’ve got my regular office hours when I see students,” she said, referring to two blocks of time on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings that conflicted with Monica’s schedule, “but I’m also in my office working most weekdays between 3 and 4:30 or 5:00. You can come by any time.”

Melanie followed Monica into the school bookstore, which was just about to close. “I do think I’ll pick up an extra charger or two,” she grinned. “Hopefully I can find a knockoff Apple one and not have to pay their prices. Also need to stock up on Kleenex, apparently.” There was a sale on some school sweatshirts and other apparel, and a tired-looking middle-aged man was finishing restocking a small display of phone cases.

Melanie brought her purchases, consisting of a charger, facial tissues, and one of the marked-down T-shirts, to the register. As the two women stepped outside and prepared to go their separate ways, the older woman’s face reddened. “This is going to sound strange,” she said, holding up the article of clothing, a white ringer shirt sporting the school’s scarlet and silver logo. “I saw this and thought it would look—thought you might like one. That’s weird, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I should have asked. That was…I don’t know what got in to me. I have a friend I can give it to.”

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica's face does say "that's a tiny bit weird" for a second, but she resolves that the offer was made in the spirit of the fact that she kept the woman company and not some sort of overture, so she takes it graciously "that's super cute. I'll totally wear it. Thanks P... Melanie." She figured using the woman's first name might help alleviate any potential embarrassment there. She tucked the shirt into her bag "Be safe getting home. It's rough around here at night. I'll see you tomorrow for class. I had fun tonight I'm glad I ran into you at the bookstore and you mentioned the event."

She made her goodbyes, then went home. When she got there Gabi was just getting back and she contemplated hanging out a bit or going on patrol. Honestly, she was itching to get out there where the world was black and white, where the bad guys were bad and she was good and everything could be solved. Where there were no complicated new feelings or anything. She'd washed her face and tied her hair back, and had on baggy sweats and a hoodie so she could change into her armor in the ship. Still, she figured whether she went out or spent a quiet night with her room mate for a change, sweats were the thing for the rest of the night.

She gave Gabi a little half hug "you missed a nice reading. Sad but powerful. How was your thing anyway?" She moved over to their little table and sat, looking over her friend.

 

[Halcyon638]

“It was fine,” Gabi said, lacking her usual pep as she absentmindedly scrolled through Netflix. Her long, shiny black hair was up in a ponytail that was being tossed about whenever the oscillating fan passed over her. The windows were open but a blanket of humidity still seemed to hang in the air. “Shaun called. He said he’s going to take the semester off because of family stuff.” When she saw the look of concern appear on her friend’s face, she smiled faintly, scooting over a bit to make more room on the couch. “It’s okay. He’s still going to try to come hang out whenever he can and he’s just over in Barnard,” she told Monica, referring to an upper-middle-class suburb of the city. “He said he’s going to try to make it to our game night thing. Or movie night.”

Gabi perked up a little bit. “Do you like that idea? Having everyone over this weekend? I bet Austin’s a total board game geek,” she said, smiling now. She had always been the type of person who had as much or even more fun planning a party than she did actually participating in one. “You’re off the hook for D&D because I don’t think I’m going to have the time to put together an adventure.” She continued to flip through the offerings on screen.

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica smiled softly and ruan her fingers through Gabi's lustrous black hair "We can play dnd. And I'd love to have game nights. We should do it once a week or once every other week. You should also not.. you know... over promise yourself. You need time to decompress. That's why I go... uh... running. at night. by myself."

She sat for a moment, uncomfortable. She and Gabi had only ever had one secret Gabi didn't know, and now it felt like she had a hundred of them. Even if it was just a few and some of those were related to the big one. "I'm glad Shaun is gonna come around. I don't know that Austin and I are making it past the beginning of basketball. He sort of intimated that that is probably a thing. If we do great but if not, also ok. He's amazing, but I don't know that I'm ready for Mr. Right and ... I'm not entirely sure that he's not fucking 5 other girls anyway. I do like him a lot but when I asked if he wanted something long term or casual he like... seemed SO happy to say casual. Like an attractive blond girl who didn't want to trap him was his greatest wish in life." She smirked "But I really want you and Shaun to make it. You're so amazing and so beautiful and you have so much to give someone and anyone who ended up with you would be so lucky. I'm so lucky to have had you in my life for all these years Gabi and I'm gonna be so happy for you when you find someone as special as you are. Shaun seems amazing. He's smart, he's gorgeous. He takes care of his mom." She let her hand drop "What night do you want people over? I'll text Austin. I'll have him bring his magic stuff or whatever. We can play Innis. That's my favorite."

She picked up her phone and texted Austin "Games this weekend? you can bring your magic stuff. Also, we should hook up tomorrow over lunch. If you can squeeze me in, I can try to squeeze that monster of yours in."

She snorted at her own dorky sense of humor, but there was a sort of dual twinge of guilt behind it too, over being attracted to Melanie while she was seeing him, and being attracted to either of them at all.

 

[Halcyon638]

Gabi leaned into Monica’s touch as Monica stroked her hair. “Yeah, I know,” the dark-haired girl responded when her friend cautioned her about overpromising. “It’s weird. It felt like four years of doing everything I can to get into a good college, but then when you actually achieve the thing you’ve been working for, it’s like, ‘well, better start networking and getting good grades and building your resume.’ Like, it would have been nice to enjoy it for more than one summer.” She sighed. “The best part of this whole thing is having you as a roommate. How long did we talk about the apartment we were going to get when we moved to the big city? At least I never got around to actually starting that 'perfect apartment decor' Pinterest.” Her tone continued to perk up.

As Monica described the situation with Austin, a look of slight concern crossed Gabi’s features. “This is just more proof that I totally don’t get guys. If I were a dude and had somebody as funny and gorgeous and smart as you, this would be a total no-brainer for me. But I guess it’s good that you’re both going into it without any, like, expectations or anything.”

When Monica talked about Gabi and Shaun, her friend smiled shyly. “You’re so sweet, Mon,” she said, wrapping her friend in a hug. Monica could smell the summery scent of her best friend’s shampoo. “And you’re right about Shaun.” She released Monica from the hug. “But…and don’t take this the wrong way…I feel like maybe you’re putting a little bit too much on this because of…because of…what you were expecting to have with Tom. That’s totally understandable, and it’s so sweet that you care that much. But I just don’t want you to worry too much about me if it doesn’t work out.”

“Saturday night works for me!” Gabi said, pep returning. “Innis, definitely. What else? We definitely have to play Mysterium. What about drinks? Snacks? I probably sound like a total dorkus saying ‘snacks.’ ”

Austin responded to Monica’s texts almost immediately: “Shoot, me and the guys are heading to NYC this weekend. I am definitely down for tomorrow, though. Or should I say up,” he wrote, sending a few suggestive and winking emojis.

“Thank God it’s finally cooling off in here,” Gabi said, returning from the fridge where she’d grabbed herself and Monica a seltzer. “Oh, by the way, I found out that the gym is actually open 24 hours now in case you were going to go…decompress tonight and didn’t want to make your roommate stay up worrying about you. Or if you wanted to hang and watch a movie, I’m done studying for tonight.”

 

[siobhancan99]

"You don't know. Maybe I just want you and Shaun to work out so I'm not tempted to make living together awkward by hitting on you" Monica stuck out her tongue, turning a gut wrenching hard to face truth into a joke. "God not everything is about me." She really did ache to get out on the street, to find out what happened to that poor drug addict who got torn apart but... it was 830. She could watch a movie with Gabi and keep their friendship going and still go out and haunt the night or whatever. "Austin is not up for games but he is up to come put his dick in me tomorrow over lunch" She rolled her eyes and looked at Gabi as if to say 'see?' but she grinned anyway "the kids still say snacks Gabi. Don't worry, you're not an old biddy on facebook just yet. As for working out well... It can wait." She got up and went into the kitchenette and threw a bag of microwave popcorn in the microwave. She set it to popping and got herself some ice for her seltzer, pouring it all into a glass. "Why don't you pick a movie and we can lounge on the couch and pray that this fucking gross humid weather passes by huh?"

 

[Halcyon638]

Gabi’s eyes widened when Monica made the “joke” about hitting on her. When Monica stuck out her tongue to imply that she was joking, a smile slowly crept onto the brunette’s face, though it was still slightly strained.

She seemed to regain her composure when Monica mentioned sex with Austin. “Yay…? Did you invite him for…lunch, or did he invite himself?”

While Monica popped the popcorn, Gabi queued up the movie Palm Springs. Monica had started watching the time loop comedy once a few months ago, hoping something light might take her mind off her grief, only to bail when she discovered it was a romantic comedy. “Hell yes,” Gabi said when her friend hauled over the bowl of popcorn. They sat down on the couch together, sharing the microwaved treat.

About thirty minutes in, Hadley sent a text to the group text. “Nicky and Monica. Meet up at my place around 5:00 before the audition?”

Gabi checked her phone as well. Nick responded with an affirmative. “This is going to sound stupid,” Gabi said, “but I was starting to maybe wonder if Hadley was going to be, like, your new, cool, city girl best friend. I was a little…jealous? Which is totally ridiculous, considering you all offered to let me come along every time and I had my own thing going on.” She grinned. “Just glad we got to hang out on Sunday and again tonight. Feels like old times.”

They went back to watching, their hands occasionally brushing together when they reached for popcorn. After the movie, Gabi said, “So, time loops—first of all, I’d ask who you’d want to be stuck in a time loop with where you both know about it, but the answer of course would be me, so I’ll save you the boring answer.” She shifted her body so that she and Monica were facing one another. “What would you do if you were stuck in a time loop? I’m talking Groundhog Day-style where you’re the only one who knows about it.” Gabi’s tone shifted, losing its usual excitable-cheerleader pitch and becoming slightly lower and almost languid. “What would you do…or try…if everything was just going to go back to the way it was the next day?”

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica cleared her throat and looked back at Gabi "Gabi, Hadley is never going to ask me fun questions and understand me and that I'm a dork and I like dorky shit. She's never going to have been my only friend when we were both those weird kids in elementary school. Hadley is never going to be the new Gabi. You're always going to be the Gabi. I promise."

When Gabi poses her hypothetical Monica nods "I've totally thought of this, and you have to break up the days a little. So some days I'd do what he did and I'd learn something, like to play piano or paint or some shit. One of the nice things is, you can spend all your money and max out all your credit cards because it's all going to go away in the morning, but you have that persistent memory right? So you just like, totally master something. Like you just become this amazing potter or some shit, so if you ever break the loop you can pretend you're just some natural talent at it and all your friends are super jealous."

She grins and leans forward a little "and I'd like, every 4 or five days do some serious hedonism. I'd buy like, the nicest dress and go eat the richest foods at the most expensive restaurants. I'd drink expensive booze just because I could, because why the fuck not. I'd probably at least try some drugs too. I mean no long term repercussions right? So you could just get baked or whatever. See how it works for you."

She drew a knee up under her chin "And I'd use some of that time to watch all the classic movies and tv shows, and read all the books you're "supposed" to read. In part because they're supposed to be good, and in part because again, if you ever escape the loop... you can be like... so well read and immersed in pop culture, so everyone is like "where does she find the time to look so good and know so much."

Biting her lip she looks out the window "and probably, at least once a day, I'd find someone to save. In case I broke the loop. In case I could you know... change time. Change time for one person so that when the loop was over they were alive and unhurt, when otherwise they wouldn't be."

 

[Halcyon638]

Gabi grinned as Monica reassured her about Hadley. “I swear I wasn’t telling you to fish for compliments, but I’ll take ‘em. Keep em coming! Hadley’s nice. I would go with you all to the audition tomorrow but I've got a lot to do before this weekend so I can spend time prepping for the party."

“Wow, somebody’s already spent some time thinking about how to Groundhog it in style,” Gabi said, brushing a stray lock of dark hair from her forehead. “I would definitely learn how to play a musical instrument and read music. And Japanese and French. Ooh, I like the idea of getting through all those classics. In between all the threesomes, of course.”

When Monica ended on a serious note, Gabi had a thoughtful expression on her face. “That would be the thing that’d break the loop for you, for sure. For me, I’d get really good at epidemiology and biochemistry and cure some major disease.” She reached out and patted Monica's knee. "I'm sure that some day, we're both going to be doing things that make a difference in people's lives--maybe even save some lives."

Gabi rose from the couch. “I should start getting ready for bed. If you’re still going out tonight, be careful, okay?”

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica snorts "yeah. I can totally see the Catholic princess in a threesome" She poked her friend playfully in the side, then gets up to head out "I'm always careful" She lied smoothly "I'm not looking for trouble."

Monica headed out and summoned the ship, changing in the cramped quarters into her armor, then put the sweats back on over. She had a wad of cash she'd gotten earlier in the day and she went to founder's square. She kept herself on the edges, looking for the street dealers, the guys that were engaging in cash transactions, and more for one that might be isolated. She knew most of those guys probably had a secondary spotter, one with a gun. She wasn't going to roll the guy, but she wanted one she could chat to.

Finding a mark she hung out nearby while he completed a transaction, then she walked over, looking down to keep her masked face in shadow in the hood. "Hey man, got any swat?"

 

[Halcyon638]

“It’s your lucky night,” he said, wiping a reddened eye with his finger. “Got one package left. $65 a pop and I’ve got…4 pills left. How does that sound?”

He began to reach into his light jacket pocket for a small Ziploc. “Just be careful tonight, okay? That shit on the news was awful.”

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica waves him off as he reaches for the bag. Instead she pulls out a couple 20s and steps in so he can see her mask "How about instead you help me out with what you just talked about. Cops don't care about guys like that, but I do. Maybe you could let me know who knew the guy, or who might have known him. Also you know, who might have had it out for him? I mean you don't just get dogs set on you for nothing." She didn't assume it was dogs, but ... it seemed like it might be and she guessed that that would be the rumor given he was clawed and bit. Claws meant no dogs but... well... her parents always said aliens looked just like earthlings so... what the fuck had claws anyway? Giant cats? "Or a tiger or whatever the fuck got to that guy. Anyway, I'm interested in making sure whatever it was doesn't happen again. So how about lending a girl a hand?"