Not sure if that was an orgasm.

[PaulBlart]

O.K., I feel a bit like a school boy asking this. First of all, I always give my wife at least one orgasm before intercourse, usually by going down on her. She frequently has one or more orgasms during intercourse as well. But, over the past few years, she has had a harder time climaxing during intercourse. The last few times we've had sex, she has bucked and contracted in the same way she does when she has an orgasm, but for a much shorter time (but much more intense as it makes me instantly blow my load). When I ask her if that was an orgasm, she replies, "I don't really know." Has anyone else experienced this and if so, do you know what the hell is going on?

 

[sunandshadow]

Hmm. Can't say what your wife had, but it's possible to have a dud orgasm - muscles contract, the tension that has been built up is lost, but it's not particularly pleasurable or satisfying.

 

[dollface007]

O.K., I feel a bit like a school boy asking this. First of all, I always give my wife at least one orgasm before intercourse, usually by going down on her. She frequently has one or more orgasms during intercourse as well. But, over the past few years, she has had a harder time climaxing during intercourse. The last few times we've had sex, she has bucked and contracted in the same way she does when she has an orgasm, but for a much shorter time (but much more intense as it makes me instantly blow my load). When I ask her if that was an orgasm, she replies, "I don't really know." Has anyone else experienced this and if so, do you know what the hell is going on?

I think I know where your wife is coming from. There are some times when my orgasms are strong and tend to have a momentum of their own. I am 100% certain that these are orgasms. There are other times when they are short bursts, but just as intense as an orgasm. I don't know if they really are orgasms are not, but they feel really really good. I think the main point is that women can have many different kinds of orgasms (clitoris, g-spot, cervix, other erogenous zones, plus a combination of any of these in varying levels of intensity). Don't try too hard to define it, and don't put pressure on your partner to have one. Everyone's body changes and adjusts. Not a big deal as long as she's healthy and enjoying herself.

 

[pplwatching]

You don't say how old your wife is, or what "the past few years" really means, however as we age our bodies and sexual responses change. Stress, child bearing, and even hormonal birth control can really screw with a woman's sexual response.

I think the important question to ask is to ask her is if she's satisfied with sex or if she'd like to spend more time perhaps on foreplay and getting her more aroused before you bring her to orgasm. If the "kind" of orgasm she's having isn't a big deal to her, then you can focus your attention on what is important to her. If she gets more out of the intimacy of being with you than from having a different kind of orgasms, then don't make a big deal out of it.

If she wants stronger or longer lasting orgasms, then work with her. Perhaps Kegel exercises or a more time with back rubs and foreplay will help her.

Good luck

O.K., I feel a bit like a school boy asking this. First of all, I always give my wife at least one orgasm before intercourse, usually by going down on her. She frequently has one or more orgasms during intercourse as well. But, over the past few years, she has had a harder time climaxing during intercourse. The last few times we've had sex, she has bucked and contracted in the same way she does when she has an orgasm, but for a much shorter time (but much more intense as it makes me instantly blow my load). When I ask her if that was an orgasm, she replies, "I don't really know." Has anyone else experienced this and if so, do you know what the hell is going on?

 

[PaulBlart]

You don't say how old your wife is, or what "the past few years" really means, however as we age our bodies and sexual responses change. Stress, child bearing, and even hormonal birth control can really screw with a woman's sexual response.

I think the important question to ask is to ask her is if she's satisfied with sex or if she'd like to spend more time perhaps on foreplay and getting her more aroused before you bring her to orgasm. If the "kind" of orgasm she's having isn't a big deal to her, then you can focus your attention on what is important to her. If she gets more out of the intimacy of being with you than from having a different kind of orgasms, then don't make a big deal out of it.

If she wants stronger or longer lasting orgasms, then work with her. Perhaps Kegel exercises or a more time with back rubs and foreplay will help her.

Good luck

She's 47 and went through early menopause beginning at age 38. Prior to this, it wasn't unusual for her to have up to a dozen orgasms in an evening of love making (and I'm not hung like a horse and I don't go all night like so many others on lit...I'm average size and, while I have learned to somewhat control my orgasm with yogic breathing, I don't last over 15 minutes or so and, at my age, one shot is all I've got). For her, the intimacy is what is most important. She gets all the orgasms she wants . I was just curious about this little change.

 

[Lynn33]

........................................

 

[SweetErika]

She's 47 and went through early menopause beginning at age 38. Prior to this, it wasn't unusual for her to have up to a dozen orgasms in an evening of love making (and I'm not hung like a horse and I don't go all night like so many others on lit...I'm average size and, while I have learned to somewhat control my orgasm with yogic breathing, I don't last over 15 minutes or so and, at my age, one shot is all I've got). For her, the intimacy is what is most important. She gets all the orgasms she wants . I was just curious about this little change.

My orgasms changed significantly with pregnancy. They're somewhat better now that I'm only breastfeeding, but even the hormonal changes from that have dialed down the intensity of most of my orgasms, and my libido is very, very low because my cycles are all screwed up. I know I'm probably more the exception than the rule, but physical and hormonal changes can definitely affect orgasms in all sorts of ways!

And FWIW, never use what you see here regarding cock size, endurance, libido, tastes or orgasms (for men or women) as "typical" by any means. The members here are a very specific subset of the population at large and there is plenty of exaggeration, outright lying about all sorts of things and *not* speaking up. For example, if you go by the responses in the recent thread on how many women orgasm from vaginal penetration by a penis alone, you'd likely conclude that at least 80% of women come that way; the reality is the exact opposite - studies have shown that at least 75% of women DON'T come from vaginal penetration alone! Therefore, it's fair to conclude that the responses are primarily coming from women who do happen to orgasm that way AND are interested in sexuality enough to be here AND are open enough to discuss it, plus there are likely some exaggerated and false responses. When it comes to cock size, the vast majority of men fall within the average 5-6 inch range, yet an extraordinary number of men here report being well above that average! The same goes for endurance - the times you see reported here are very skewed.