Now I've heard everything! (Warning: cock thread)

[Eilan]

Someone asked this question on another site that I visit. I've been chuckling since I read it, even though I'm fairly certain that it was intended to be a serious question.

How important is cock weight? Since bigger is obviously better , do men with heavier cocks make better lovers?

More importantly, and this is what makes this a How-To thread, how does a man weigh his cock? Does he weigh the balls as well? And who fucking cares, anyway?

Please enlighten me. In my years of lurking (and finally registering) on Lit, I've read about lots of cocks with issues, but I don't think I've ever seen this one before.

 

[Cathleen]

You know Eilan this is opening a big can of worms. I foresee a cottage industry here too. Maybe Cock Watchers or Jimmy Craig meetings, we can market scales, and give prizes to those men who have gained cock weight that week. But I hosie being the inspector for cock padding. Imagine the infomercials!!!

 

[Eilan]

I'm assuming that the cock should be weighed when it's erect, but how?

 

[Cathleen]

I'm assuming that the cock should be weighed when it's erect, but how?

I know the answer!! Follow me on this one - a woman will get on a scale and her weight will be recorded. Then with his cock in her mouth she will be weighed again, the difference obviously will be recorded as the weight of the cock!!

 

[Eilan]

I wonder if Scalywag's theories of cock displacement might help us here.

 

[EJFan]

i think cock weight is crucial... but it's not just stagnant weight that matters as much as the owner's ability to make that weight SHIFT. shifting the internal weight of the cock during intercourse causes amazing sensations in the vagina. it's a lot like the slide-weights that batters use to warm up their swing... it intensifies at the apex of the swing to simulate the impact of the ball.

so there ya have it.

btw... to accurately weigh a cock, weigh the entire man then lop off the appendage and weigh the man without it. the difference in the two weights is the weight of the cock in question.

 

[Eilan]

btw... to accurately weigh a cock, weigh the entire man then lop off the appendage and weigh the man without it. the difference in the two weights is the weight of the cock in question.

So I'm guessing I won't have anyone volunteer to weigh his cock for me?

 

[LukkyKnight]

So I'm guessing I won't have anyone volunteer to weigh his cock for me?

I won't even weigh my own, why would I way his?

 

[Guest]

 

[TBKahuna123]

I almost hate myself for coming up withthis, but I do knowof an actual scientific way that would work to weigh one's cock. Any fishermen out there ever us one of those hand held scales to weigh a fish? Well here's how it would work.

1.) attack a loop of string to the scale.
2.) Insert penis intot he loop, right around the head.
3.) let your cock go so it pulls on the scale and registers a weight.

I suppose you could make a sling to weigh the balls as well. I hate to say ti,b ut I think this would ACCURATELY work.

 

[Eilan]

I won't even weigh my own, why would I way his?

How about I word it this way:

Would any guys who would be willing to attempt to weigh their (own) cocks to see if it can be done?

If so, post the weight and method(s) used. I'll try not to point and laugh.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

next new cock thread: The Penis Olympics.....how strong is yours?

Ooh. . . a Strongcock competition!

I should also mention that the guy on that other forum who asked about cock weight got his ass flamed.

 

[Kama2k]

Easy way out

Why not chop it off and weigh it , you can sew it back with the modern medicine technology available. It will be bloody messy and painful but we can move onto other important things in life.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Cathleen]

You all have to admit that nothing brings out so many good laughs like a cock thread. I had tears dripping down my face a few minutes ago.

No use crying over chopped cock.

 

[M's girl]

Why not chop it off and weigh it , you can sew it back with the modern medicine technology available. It will be bloody messy and painful but we can move onto other important things in life.

Very, very good idea! What would you use to get the 1/3rd part out? I mean, if we all decide that part does NOT count we can always chop it off seperately, won't we?

 

[Guest]

 

[human_male]

Oh no! Mine barely weighs anything, what the fuck am I gonna do?

 

[M's girl]

It depends. The 1/3 could be just an average amount, and might possibly vary from person to person. So, the guy with a small cock might actually have 1/2 of it's length within his body, while the guy with a long cock might have 1/4.

The part within the body just might be the great equalizer.

OK, all the more reason, for the sake of fairness to all men, we do not only cut off penis from the base, but also extract the part (no matter the percentage of penis that is inside the body) from inside. We want te get the statistrics right, don't we?

If we also take the balls off and leave them attached to the penis it gives us another great statiscic of the inside/outside position....

(Today I'm officially glad to be a woman)

 

[midwestyankee]

This thread has taken a turn that officially creeps me out.

 

[M's girl]

This thread has taken a turn that officially creeps me out.

Don't be scared.

 

[Guest]