Now this was really funny
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graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
f you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section
Buy a dog.
If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it
Buy a dog
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually
Buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness then
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Buy a cat!
Buy a dog.
If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it
Buy a dog
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually
Buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness then
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Buy a cat!
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all
perish.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks
the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male
organ?
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one
with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your
finger in the Holy Water and Pass through the gate." St. Peter asks the
next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact
with a male organ?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and
stroke one." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy
Water and pass through the gate." All of a sudden, there is a lot of
commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the
front
of the line. When she reaches the front, St. Peter says, "Reeva, What
seems to be the rush?" The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to
gargle
that Holy Water, I want to do it Before Jessica sticks her ass in it".
perish.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks
the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male
organ?
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one
with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your
finger in the Holy Water and Pass through the gate." St. Peter asks the
next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact
with a male organ?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and
stroke one." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy
Water and pass through the gate." All of a sudden, there is a lot of
commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the
front
of the line. When she reaches the front, St. Peter says, "Reeva, What
seems to be the rush?" The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to
gargle
that Holy Water, I want to do it Before Jessica sticks her ass in it".
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.
We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, obviously without my knowledge, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as the cab drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car.
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.
We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, obviously without my knowledge, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as the cab drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing
their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
> there?"
>
their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
> there?"
>
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
GOOD ADVICE... A public service to YOU
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop. However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
WATER = Poop
WINE = HEALTH
Therefore: It is better to drink wine and talk stupid than to drink water and be full of crap.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am doing it as a public service.
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop. However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
WATER = Poop
WINE = HEALTH
Therefore: It is better to drink wine and talk stupid than to drink water and be full of crap.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am doing it as a public service.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
"The two most common elements in the Universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity. Recent experimental evidence suggests that due to the increase in Worldwide population (especially lawyers and politicians), Hydrogen is being forced from first place."
"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large
groups." -- John Kenneth Galbraith
"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large
groups." -- John Kenneth Galbraith
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
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A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a
zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench
in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it,"
says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill
it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and
then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it,
have sex with it again and then burn it," said the
pyromaniac.
Silence took over... and the masochist says:
"Meow."
zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench
in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it,"
says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill
it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and
then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it,
have sex with it again and then burn it," said the
pyromaniac.
Silence took over... and the masochist says:
"Meow."
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police
car videos around the country:
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
car videos around the country:
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
the captians wench said:A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a
zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench
in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it,"
says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill
it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and
then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it,
have sex with it again and then burn it," said the
pyromaniac.
Silence took over... and the masochist says:
"Meow."
ROFLMAO
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish...............................49.
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone..
Athletic..............................No breasts.
Average looking....................Moooo.
Beautiful......................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist...............................Fat.
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Former slut.
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned......................No BJs.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing.....! . ...............Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........................Bitch.
Voluptuous.......................Very Fat.
Large frame...........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.
40-ish...............................49.
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone..
Athletic..............................No breasts.
Average looking....................Moooo.
Beautiful......................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist...............................Fat.
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Former slut.
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned......................No BJs.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing.....! . ...............Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........................Bitch.
Voluptuous.......................Very Fat.
Large frame...........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
esus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused...
They E-mailed...
They E-mailed with attachments..
They downloaded...
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports... ;
They created labels and cards...
hey created charts and graphs...
They did some genealogy reports..
They did every job known to man...
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was faster than hell
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and of course, the power went off!
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
Finally, the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves!!!"
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused...
They E-mailed...
They E-mailed with attachments..
They downloaded...
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports... ;
They created labels and cards...
hey created charts and graphs...
They did some genealogy reports..
They did every job known to man...
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was faster than hell
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and of course, the power went off!
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
Finally, the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves!!!"
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. They had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the
rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic,because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their
neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow..
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave
And come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......"
My kind of woman
rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic,because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their
neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow..
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave
And come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......"
My kind of woman
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
A priest and a rabbi had been friends for many years. One evening over
a cup of coffee, the priest turned to the rabbi and said, "My friend,
we've known each other for a long time, and there's something I've
always wondered. Have you ever tasted ham?"
"Well," said the rabbi, looking a little sheepish, "when I was a very
young man and curious, I tasted some ham. Now tell me my old friend,"
the rabbi said, "there's something I've always wondered. Have you ever
been with a woman?"
"My friend," answered the priest, "I must confess, when I was a young
man, before I entered the priesthood, yes, I was with a woman."
The rabbi smiled at the priest and said, "It's better than ham. isn't
it?"
a cup of coffee, the priest turned to the rabbi and said, "My friend,
we've known each other for a long time, and there's something I've
always wondered. Have you ever tasted ham?"
"Well," said the rabbi, looking a little sheepish, "when I was a very
young man and curious, I tasted some ham. Now tell me my old friend,"
the rabbi said, "there's something I've always wondered. Have you ever
been with a woman?"
"My friend," answered the priest, "I must confess, when I was a young
man, before I entered the priesthood, yes, I was with a woman."
The rabbi smiled at the priest and said, "It's better than ham. isn't
it?"
Last edited:
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
Q: Why do the Jews and Arabs fight? I know the real reason, this is a joke.
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A: Cause way back in the time of Abraham, Abraham said to God "Let me get this straight, they get all the oil rights and you want us to cut off the ends of our whats?"
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A: Cause way back in the time of Abraham, Abraham said to God "Let me get this straight, they get all the oil rights and you want us to cut off the ends of our whats?"
