Oh My God. I told her.

[RedheadedHaze]

I wish more people could live their truth like this. It would make the divorce rate a lot less significant.

I'm working on my authentic self as well....

Work in progress.

Congrats to you and I applaud your integrity.


~Red

 

[sgettoit]

Thanks for sharing. It is a huge help to hear how others have this conversation with their spouse.

 

[Pirate_Guy]

Brilliant. You should be an inspiration to many men on this board who live lives of quiet desperation. The truth will set you free.

 

[Deleted member 1215945]

Excellent Post!

=.=

What you did certainly took great courage. Reading here has made me realize that there are many more out there that have had things happen in their lives that have affected them sexually as life progresses. My mother molested me from as far back and throughout my life for as long as I can remember. She has caused great turmoil in my mind and I just can't let it go. My wife knows how I am... I think a woman's intuition speaks as loud as words sometimes. I think if there's love, they'll understand.

What a brave revelation!

=.=

 

[ttm_mtt]

Thanks guys for all of your posts, it really means a lot to me. And thank god she hadn't changed her mind after having a chance to sleep on it!

Things were good today, she stayed home from work of course and I was off school today so we just hung around the house, but it was the most fun I've had in a while. We didn't even have sex, we just watched movies and baked cookies and had fun just being around each other again-for-the-first-time.

My wife I don't think is ready to take the step that I have and lay it bare but I know enough. We had the inevitable 'Second Talk' today, about our relationship and the future, and the future of our sex life. She is still dealing with trust issues, but she said that she may some day be open enough to invite someone else to share our bed, but not yet. I'm in no rush, I know that with all the other baggage I have, it's going to take years of therapy before I'm 'right' enough to open that door.

We've taken the first step, the first of many that we'll probably take but for now I think we're going to be ok.



Oh, the best part! She did confirm today that she does like girls, so that's a huge bonus, but she is not ready to explore herself quite yet. Fortunately she has taken to exploring my sexuality with a voracious appetite and she already wants to buy a strap on.

It should also be easier to watch porn together, any type or subject. Sometimes you don't have to stray away, when you can both enjoy just the fantasy aspects of your desires.

 

[punkreader]

Wow... My hat goes off to you, sir, for having the courage to tell your wife. You, sir, have balls!

And to your wife, too, for her acceptance. I wish you both nothing but the best.

Hugs,

Punkreader

 

[PressNightly]

=.=

What you did certainly took great courage. Reading here has made me realize that there are many more out there that have had things happen in their lives that have affected them sexually as life progresses. My mother molested me from as far back and throughout my life for as long as I can remember. She has caused great turmoil in my mind and I just can't let it go. My wife knows how I am... I think a woman's intuition speaks as loud as words sometimes. I think if there's love, they'll understand.

What a brave revelation!

=.=

Yeah when I hit my 5 years of sobriety all the stuff from my childhood started coming back, and I remember thinking how freaking alone I was. I mean who loves their wife the way I do mine but still fantasizes about guzzling cum. It seemed so wierd to me. But then I started exploring some of my feelings by lurking on boards like these and I realized that there are so many people out there who've had their sexuality shaped by trauma.

I was victimized by several people (including a direct familly member) over the course of 7 or 8 years, and suffered a violent rape at a strangers hands. What made 'the talk' even worse for me was that it was the first time I've ever told anybody about anything that happened to me. So this has been a life changer all round.

I've always been very cautious with the bi side of my sexuallity because I know somewhere it's connected to that dark part of my brain that drove my addictions in the past. But my wife thinks I'm way over analyzing things and that I just need to jump in feet first and see how the water feels.

I think she may be right. Whatever reason that I like what I do today it doesn't change the fact that I like it, and it'll always be a part of me for better or worse.

It should also be easier to watch porn together, any type or subject. Sometimes you don't have to stray away, when you can both enjoy just the fantasy aspects of your desires.

That's the plan! It's still a little embarrasing to really talk to my wife about my fantasies and about what I like to do and have done in the past. I mean I know she accepts it completely and has similar feelings but it's still just feels strange, after hiding it so long, to tell her that I love to suck dick. So I spent the afternoon surfing all of the fantastic pics threads on here and downloaded a bunch of pictures that we're going to look at together tomorow. I wanted to find some pictures that really give her a sense of exactly what it is about cock that so turns me on (though I'm pretty sure she already knows why a cock is a magical thing lol), so we'll see how she likes them then.

For now we've been having the most fantastic sex, straight up sex, but it's been wonderful. It's like we're falling in love all over again (I know it sounds cheesy but it's true).

 

[Nekid62]

Congratulations and I'm happy for you and your wife. Keep the openness and honesty strong. I wish you both the best and happiest with this 'new' life you both have.
I enjoyed reading your post.

My wife and I do this and are the best of friends who have been through tons of hard times with each other. She admitted things to me that happened to her by her 'father' since she was little till about 20. Turns out I was the only one who listened to her and tried to help her with it - by ensuring it stopped for one. We both are honest and the best of friends and happy also.

 

[Deleted member 1215945]

It's difficult...

=.=

It's difficult to tell another person those kinds of skeletons exists in our closets. I know my fascination with cock, not men in general, but the cock itself, stems from my mothers "activities" with me. Often times at night during times when I'm under a lot of pressure, I can still feel her and remember her scent, and listen to the words she would whisper to me as she would touch me, fondle me, and bring me to orgasm. In the early days we would bath together. Then when my sister was born, she would have me nurse from her, then as time went on and I became a "man" she would come in my room at night and fondle me and give me head. Eventually she would have me pleasure her in any way she demanded. The other side is, if I was reluctant to participate she would beat me until I could hardly breath from crying...

I'm sorry PN, I didn't mean to hijack your thread...

Hope your doing fine today, now that the "dust" is settling for you =)


=.=

 

[drube]

I know how you feel. When My wife and I had "the talk" she was great and understanding and has no probs with my cock fetish. It felt great to get it off my chest and felt like a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders, It has made me love my wife even more if that's possible. She's not into women but I can play with as much cock as I want as long as I tell her about it.. She likes the stories and hopes one day to suck one with me. I love my wife!

 

[BosozokuX]

Congrats you lucky fucker! I'm working up to telling my wife the same thing.

 

[albertaboy]

Good on you, as we grow older we need to like ourselves more and having a wife that loves you enough to share that stuff is very cool. My wife and I share fantasies all the time, some have come true, some not, some likely never will but that is the way fantasies work.

 

[StrixVaria]

That is the most uplifting thing I have read in a long time.
I came out to my SO not too long ago as transgendered. My experience was similar to yours. Acceptance is a wonderful thing.

 

[Harber]

That OP was pretty fucking ninja, PressNightly.

I've never had any experience with earth shattering revelations, but I should imagine it won't all be plain sailing. But then if you're married with kids, you should be used to lifes hitches and glitches.

To paraphrase Morrissey/The Smiths: 'it's so easy to laugh it's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be gentle and kind [and honest]'.

 

[CandiCame]

This story made me smile! I'm so happy for you!

 

[lexe]

I'm honestly impressed, and touched. It takes a lot of courage to do something like this, and you did it with grace and finesse that can't be matched. Hopefully I can find a woman as loving as yours that doesn't mind me being a cock fiend ;p

 

[Somehowyou]

Congrats Pressnightly. This conversation worked for you. What would you have done if she had divorced you? I guess you were at the breaking point anyway.

My question is have you ever had a cock in your mouth? I think this is what you want, correct? You want the freedon to suck cock, correct? But you have never sucked a cock? How are you sure that you will like it? You may do this and think WTF am I doing? I don't really like this after all. I am just wondering if a better path for those that are reading this forum is to go out and find out if this is exactly what they want. There are a lot of fantasis that we make up in our head to press the envelope that lose their appeal when we act out on them...Just a thought.

Bottom line is I am glad this worked for you.

 

[Noira]

Acceptance is beautiful. I'm glad it worked for you.

 

[janeyruth]

She looked at me and asked 'Are you going to leave me for another man?'

The key word here is "another"

LOL

 

[PressNightly]

Wow, can't believe this thread is still going!

Thanks guys, so far things are going good. Still in love, still monogamous, and our sex life has been beyond exciting lately.

What would you have done if she had divorced you? I guess you were at the breaking point anyway.

Yeah I was pretty much in freefall, I knew I couldn't keep on as I had, it would have killed me, literally, and permanently. So I took a chance and won the lottery! lol

My question is have you ever had a cock in your mouth?

Oh no, I've never cheated on my wife, but that doesn't mean I didn't have ample opportunity to experiment before we met. I've actually had far more male partners than I have had female ones. Though I've never had a stable relationship with a man.

 

[klippert]

Thanks guys, so far things are going good. Still in love, still monogamous, and our sex life has been beyond exciting lately.


Please do tell....'beyond exciting lately', I may have to live vicariously through you!!

I'm getting too a breaking point in my (rather) sexless marriage. I have been chatting with others about 'there' sexless marriages....and their interest in M/M sex, knowing the Mrs may just walk out.... Dreaming the wife would latch on too the idea of MFM....with M/M contact.... aw heck...I'm babbling

 

[PressNightly]

wow, sorry klippert!

I usually watch my threads, I try to respond to anyone who take the time to respond to me, but I missed you somehow!

My wife and I have always had great sex, even before my disclosure, but since then things have really heated up.

I told her about all the experiences I had before I met her, including the 3 some, and even some of the ones that were really bad experiences for me, and she got really turned on. Then I told her about what I wanted to do, both my fantasies that involved her and the ones that were purely male. She loved that too!

Then I told her how I regularly use our toys, including a giant clear dildo we have to satisfy some of my urges she's been unable to fulfill. Her first reaction was to scoff at my admission, because I've used it on her vaginally and even then it hurt, she didn't believe I could take the whole thing. So she made me show her. I suctioned it to my usual spot and proceeded to ride that beauty for all I was worth. I took the whole thing, all 9 or 10 thick inches of it down to the simulated balls and she got really really wet watching me.

now and then she asks me to ride it (doggy style when I'm doing it for her) and she's started crawling under me while I work it and sucking me off.

Since my admissions and my performances she's told me that she trusts me now more than she ever has, and she's ready to start exploring some of her fantasies with me as well, including having me tie her up.

That fantasy will be fulfilled this weekend, I'm still working out the details tho!

Beyond that we've started swapping fantasies, and acting them out as best we can, she also loves putting random objects (including toys) inside me and talking really dirty to me. Also after either talking to her about my gay fantasies, and letting her work my ass with toys she's usually gung ho about letting me fuck her in the ass. I've even started rimming her on a fairly regular basis which she loves, but would never have been possible before. The best part is my wife cums really easilly through anal (even easier than vaginally) and I'm sooo fucking jealous, I've always wanted to cum without touching my cock, but it hasn't happened yet.

We're still searching for a strapon for her, but in the mean time toys and talk have been a great substitute.


My breaking point was internal, my wife and I have always had very enjoyable (if rather vanilla) sex, but I was deep into a black depression and serious addiction to multiple substances and I was litterally at the point of death when I decided that I couldn't take it any more. I've begun to address my issues with my past abuse, and while I still have a long road to travel a lot of my sexual dysfunctions have dissapeared (including premature ejaculaion God I'm soooo embarrased to admit that)

I don't know what advice to give you seeing as your marriage seems to be pretty much on the rocks as it is, but if you think it's destined for failure on the present course, then I'd say you have little to lose. Tell her what's going on with you, what you like and what you want. It may prompt her to open up about what's going on with her, cause it's always a 2 way street really. Either she'll accept you for what you are, or you'll get the freedom to explore what you will. Ultimately I've found, if you can't talk to your wife about it, then you may be better off without that woman as your wife!



Fine print: I'm not a psychologist, take my advice with a grain of salt please!

 

[Ilovesluts]

good for you for being honest with your wife, in my eyes there is nothing more important that honesty, I told my gf about my perverse sex life on our third date, in fact I think thats how all people should deal with it, tell someone right when you meet them, and if they want to stick around and really get to know you, you know your with the right person, I have been with my current gf for close to 3 years now, she knows everything about me.

 

[goodsonformom]

Good for you for being so honest...........