Older Male Seeking Female Friends Who Can Tolerate "Dad Jokes"

[Lichen2CU]

... but you can make a whore moan...

 

[Wonderer67]

Do mom jokes count?

I had to get two MRIs done on my back last night after work.My wife just as we’re going to bed:

Her: Are you magnetic after your MRI?

Me: I don’t think so… why?

Her: I’m attracted to your pole.

Me:

 

[Lichen2CU]

Do mom jokes count?

I had to get two MRIs done on my back last night after work.My wife just as we’re going to bed:

Her: Are you magnetic after your MRI?

Me: I don’t think so… why?

Her: I’m attracted to your pole.

Me:

... And, yes, extra credit for Mom Jokes

 

[Wetkitty09]

In a dada base

Need a groan emoji for that one.

 

[Wetkitty09]

How does an mathematician deal with constipation?




He works it out with a pencil

 

[Bigbobnc]

Ok just heard this one it’s a little late

What happens when the pope dies??


We just wait until another one popes-up


Bada boom

 

[Bigbobnc]

Another pope one

What’s te definition of the papal conclave vote?



A pope-ularity vote.

 

[Lichen2CU]

How does an mathematician deal with constipation?




He works it out with a pencil

Yikes!!

 

[Lichen2CU]

Ok just heard this one it’s a little late

What happens when the pope dies??


We just wait until another one popes-up


Bada boom

 

[Lichen2CU]

Another pope one

What’s te definition of the papal conclave vote?



A pope-ularity vote.

 

[Wonderer67]

Wife: doesn’t that breeze feel good?

Me: I’m not a fan.

 

[Bigbobnc]

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball…..






She gagged

(Ducks, I know that’s a bad one)

 

[Lichen2CU]

Wife: doesn’t that breeze feel good?

Me: I’m not a fan.

 

[Lichen2CU]

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball…..






She gagged

(Ducks, I know that’s a bad one)

Yes - but was she able to tickle the ball with her tongue...

 

[Lichen2CU]

What is the most dangerous warm beverage?

(Hot Choke-a-lot...)

 

[MrPimms]

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are embroiled in epic lightsaber battle.

Vader: Luke, I know what you’re getting for Christmas.

Luke: huh?

Vader: Luke, I know what you’re getting for Christmas.

Luke: what do you mean?

Vader: I have felt your presents!

 

[Lichen2CU]

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are embroiled in epic lightsaber battle.

Vader: Luke, I know what you’re getting for Christmas.

Luke: huh?

Vader: Luke, I know what you’re getting for Christmas.

Luke: what do you mean?

Vader: I have felt your presents!

... Good one!

 

[Deadbed1968]

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?



A Carrot!

 

[MrPimms]

What’s brown and sticky?




A: a stick

 

[Lichen2CU]

What’s brown and sticky?




A: a stick

Huh... I had a somewhat different answer in mind...

 

[Lichen2CU]

What’s brown and sticky?




A: a stick

Polly want a carrot??

 

[LittleMissLandmine]

This thread is amazing lol

 

[Lichen2CU]

Thank you, Little Miss...

 

[Lichen2CU]

Olympic diver's favorite classic rock song?

(Jumping Jack Splash...)

 

[Lichen2CU]

What's the scariest food?

(Bagels and Scream Cheese...)