Older Male Seeking Female Friends Who Can Tolerate "Dad Jokes"

[Lichen2CU]

What did the lettuce say to the celery?

(Quit stalking me! )

 

[Lichen2CU]

Why do mushrooms get invited to all best parties?

(Because they are funguys... )

 

[Lichen2CU]

Why couldn't the sailor learn the alphabet?

(He always got lost at C... )

 

[Lichen2CU]

Lambs to the left of me...

Mutton to the right

Here I am...

Stuck in the middle with ewe

Stealers Wheel - "Stuck in the Middle with You"

 

[Shygentleman2]

There are three kinds of people in this world.

Those who can count and those who can’t.

 

[cbrRunner]

There are two kinds of people in the world:

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information.

 

[Lichen2CU]

What is a shoe made from a banana called?

(A slipper... )

 

[Lichen2CU]

There are two kinds of people in the world:

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information.

OK - that is both funny AND unfortunately true!

 

[stretch351]

What turns a joke into a 'Dad' joke

It should be apparent...

 

[cbrRunner]

OK - that is both funny AND unfortunately true!

Indeed!

I have had quite a few people ask:

“And what is the second kind?”

 

[Lichen2CU]

What turns a joke into a 'Dad' joke

It should be apparent...

Oh... that's a good one!!

 

[Lichen2CU]

What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?

(It's going to take me a while to get hard - I just got laid by some chick... )

 

[Shygentleman2]

Waiter asked me, “Sir, how do you like your steak?”

Me, “Like winning an argument with my wife”

Him, “Rare it is”

 

[stretch351]

How does a Butcher introduce his wife?

I'd like you to meet Patty.

 

[Lichen2CU]

How does a Butcher introduce his wife?

I'd like you to meet Patty.

Of course....

 

[Shygentleman2]

Why did the old man fall into the well?

Because he couldn’t see that well.

 

[Shygentleman2]

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years...

the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.