Online happiness, is it possible?

[Homburg]

Oh dear, I've been outed! It's all my parents fault.

Parents: "Go outside and play!"

K: "But it's cold and rainy out."

Parents: "Then put a sweater and a rain coat on!! Now go!"

(Thanks Mom and Dad - hugs).

Currently it is too cold. And windy. No thanks.

 

[Keroin]

I can't do it. I really can't.
I went on a touring holidayish for 5weeks with a group. I had very little chance to go on the internet - only if a particular hotel we were staying in had it (most of the time it was youth hostels) and even then we had to share to just check our emails or facebook. We weren't allowed mobile phones either.

I guess this is going to sound really shallow and horrid. But... I felt so empty. Like i was missing something huge in my life - and it certainly wasn't my family -it was not having my emails and being able to speak to my PYL.

And you really don't seem anti-internet, just like you have better things to do as well as going on the internet But i didn't think you were a pyl, i was thinking slightly more along the lines of switch hmmm...

No, I don't think you're shallow. We all see the world through a different lens. I'm endlessly fascinated by how other people experience life. I may fly the "Go outside and play!" flag but that's because I'm pushy and have know-it-all tendencies...and I like playing outside. But I do know that happiness comes in unlimited forms.

And, in this one small corner of my life, I am most definitely pyl. But that's komplicated...

 

[00Syd]

OK, one last question and then I promise I'll give this thread some milk and cookies, read it a story and put it to bed.

Since the majority of people who've responded think the internet is beneficial or at least benign, I'm curious to know how often you unplug. I'm talking completely - no laptop, no crackberry, no gameboy, nothing. Do you take two week vacations with your family during which no one goes online, texts friends, plays video games, etc?

Are there large chunks of time in your life when you are disconnected?

If not, why not? And if so, how long is the longest you can stand being unplugged?

Thanks everyone for answering my nosy questions.

BTW I'm in an LDR with my PYL so I'm not as anti-internet as I portray myself. LOL.

There are never very large chunks of time when I'm disconnected, and try to keep it that way. I'm disconnected when I sleep, which I used to think didn't count, but then I saw my room mate. She is in an LDR right now, and she keeps her laptop on her bed at all times. Its on when she's sleeping and she's got her webcam on and her and her boyfriend watch each other sleep. If she just wakes up briefly in the middle of the night she sees her glowing computer screen and how must that effect her dreams? And how does that effect her waking life? I kind of want to ask her. I feel like such a high level of connectedness would in fact cause me to become disconnected from life. I feel like if I was that connected the internet would start to seem more real then life and life would start to seem like a dream. I'm fascinated by how it effects her life and want to ask her about it but am unsure how to phrase the question.

I don't have an internet-equipped phone and while I want one REALLY badly, I know that it would probably be bad for me to get one. Even though I have a laptop I pretty much leave it at my desk. So I'm unconnected during class, while I'm out and about. I do bring my computer on vacation with me if I know I'll have internet access, but for the most part I'll just leave it in the hotel or wherever we're staying and use it to upload photos and check my email at night.

Oh, and I haven't had a gameboy since 6th grade (it was a totally sweet see-through purple gameboy color).

The longest chunks of my life (since I got my first laptop) that I've been disconnected has been when my computers in the shop. I really feel no desire to disconnect. I don't feel like its detracting from my life.

 

[Keroin]

Currently it is too cold. And windy. No thanks.

I'd love to be cold. Just for one day. I'd wear a sweater! I'd drink hot chocolate! Bliss!

Oh hey, I was in a hurry before but I thought all your answers sounded very sane. Cool to hear your son is in Scouts. I'm so glad those kinds of organizations still exist. A friend of mine is the guy who brought Outward Bound to North America. The last time I saw him was on the tennis court, crushing balls, (he's 87). Love it.

 

[Keroin]

There are never very large chunks of time when I'm disconnected, and try to keep it that way. I'm disconnected when I sleep, which I used to think didn't count, but then I saw my room mate. She is in an LDR right now, and she keeps her laptop on her bed at all times. Its on when she's sleeping and she's got her webcam on and her and her boyfriend watch each other sleep. If she just wakes up briefly in the middle of the night she sees her glowing computer screen and how must that effect her dreams? And how does that effect her waking life? I kind of want to ask her. I feel like such a high level of connectedness would in fact cause me to become disconnected from life. I feel like if I was that connected the internet would start to seem more real then life and life would start to seem like a dream. I'm fascinated by how it effects her life and want to ask her about it but am unsure how to phrase the question.

I don't have an internet-equipped phone and while I want one REALLY badly, I know that it would probably be bad for me to get one. Even though I have a laptop I pretty much leave it at my desk. So I'm unconnected during class, while I'm out and about. I do bring my computer on vacation with me if I know I'll have internet access, but for the most part I'll just leave it in the hotel or wherever we're staying and use it to upload photos and check my email at night.

Oh, and I haven't had a gameboy since 6th grade (it was a totally sweet see-through purple gameboy color).

The longest chunks of my life (since I got my first laptop) that I've been disconnected has been when my computers in the shop. I really feel no desire to disconnect. I don't feel like its detracting from my life.

He watches her sleep via internet???

Wow, I'm filing that one in the mental rolodex. Please promise me you will ask your room mate about this and report back to me. I'll make you a deputy spy with the Cee-Eye-Ay (sorry, I still have to write it in code lest I be hunted down and pink misted - they still haven't gotten over that whole "going rogue" incident of mine).

That is a whole other level of connectivity.

 

[00Syd]

He watches her sleep via internet???

They watch each other sleep via internet. Its intense.

Wow, I'm filing that one in the mental rolodex. Please promise me you will ask your room mate about this and report back to me. I'll make you a deputy spy with the Cee-Eye-Ay (sorry, I still have to write it in code lest I be hunted down and pink misted - they still haven't gotten over that whole "going rogue" incident of mine).

That is a whole other level of connectivity.

I know. I'm completely fascinated by it. I'll try to ask her about it sometime, if an opportune moment ever comes up.

 

[slavemarissa]

In a way, i feel like internet is real and life is a dream already. I don't know why, and it probably isn't healthy. But i feel so much more connected to the world and to my own thoughts and personal being when i'm online. It's only just twigged that that might be why i feel a bit dazed when i'm around school and so much better if i'm sitting in front of a computer....
I can totaly imagine having a web cam on my and my others sleep. But i'm just so curious as to how that would be.. how it would make me feel..

OMG i really need to get a life!!!!!

 

[MisterSir]

There are never very large chunks of time when I'm disconnected, and try to keep it that way. I'm disconnected when I sleep, which I used to think didn't count, but then I saw my room mate. She is in an LDR right now, and she keeps her laptop on her bed at all times. Its on when she's sleeping and she's got her webcam on and her and her boyfriend watch each other sleep. If she just wakes up briefly in the middle of the night she sees her glowing computer screen and how must that effect her dreams? And how does that effect her waking life? I kind of want to ask her. I feel like such a high level of connectedness would in fact cause me to become disconnected from life. I feel like if I was that connected the internet would start to seem more real then life and life would start to seem like a dream. I'm fascinated by how it effects her life and want to ask her about it but am unsure how to phrase the question.

Honestly, my first reaction is being impressed. I used to have enough trouble sleeping with my alarm clock's face lit up because sleeping with any lights on is difficult. Trying to do it with a frakking laptop screen just seems impossible

 

[myinnerslut]

i sleep on webcam for Master every night. have for months. this means not only the glow of the laptop but also a small touch lamp that i have placed next to the laptop so the camera has enough light to pick up images.

since i go to bed before Master as a rule (have to be up for work early) this means he can watch me sleep for a few hours before heading up to bed himself.

i also fall asleep on the phone with him every night. he sings me to sleep and i drift off somewhere mid-song.

for me it is literally and figuratively him watching over me. if he stays on the phone he can knock out any nightmares by talking to me. i get them frequently so this is a big plus. by keeping an eye on me, if i start tossing and turning, he can call me and wake me up. this has happened a few times and i am always grateful.

it may seem over the top or too intense to some, but having Master watch over me as i sleep is part of a good nights rest for me. add to the picture falling asleep to his voice, sleeping naked, and wearing my collar and cuffs (both around my ankles and on my wrists) and it is a safety blanket of massive proportions.

 

[Keroin]

i sleep on webcam for Master every night. have for months. this means not only the glow of the laptop but also a small touch lamp that i have placed next to the laptop so the camera has enough light to pick up images.

since i go to bed before Master as a rule (have to be up for work early) this means he can watch me sleep for a few hours before heading up to bed himself.

i also fall asleep on the phone with him every night. he sings me to sleep and i drift off somewhere mid-song.

for me it is literally and figuratively him watching over me. if he stays on the phone he can knock out any nightmares by talking to me. i get them frequently so this is a big plus. by keeping an eye on me, if i start tossing and turning, he can call me and wake me up. this has happened a few times and i am always grateful.

it may seem over the top or too intense to some, but having Master watch over me as i sleep is part of a good nights rest for me. add to the picture falling asleep to his voice, sleeping naked, and wearing my collar and cuffs (both around my ankles and on my wrists) and it is a safety blanket of massive proportions.

I had no idea. Do you think there are many other people who do this?

I'm an insomniac and require pitch black and complete silence for any hope of sleep. If I knew someone was watching me, I'd never get any rest.

What did you do before you met your master? Did you keep lights and music on?

This just amazes me. A friend of mine sleeps with the light on and her iPod playing music in her ears - to me, that would be torture. But she only started that since her husband died five years ago, so I guess there is some trauma going on.

Tell me more!

 

[myinnerslut]

I had no idea. Do you think there are many other people who do this?

I'm an insomniac and require pitch black and complete silence for any hope of sleep. If I knew someone was watching me, I'd never get any rest.

What did you do before you met your master? Did you keep lights and music on?

This just amazes me. A friend of mine sleeps with the light on and her iPod playing music in her ears - to me, that would be torture. But she only started that since her husband died five years ago, so I guess there is some trauma going on.

Tell me more!

before Master i slept with the lights off. even once Master and i got together i slept with the lights off. while i had a roomate this was flat impossible.

i dont think its common, but i dont think its that weird either. then again i am strongly biased since, well, its me.

 

[Keroin]

before Master i slept with the lights off. even once Master and i got together i slept with the lights off. while i had a roomate this was flat impossible.

i dont think its common, but i dont think its that weird either. then again i am strongly biased since, well, its me.

I don't equate uncommon with weird, no worries.

 

[myinnerslut]

i should hope not, posting on a bdsm forum and all

 

[eastern sun]

I'd like to chime in and say that we are in the middle of a huge social experiment and we have no idea how it will turn out. Perhaps if we pay attention we can direct the outcome. But who knows?

I remember the debates on t.v., and then video games. Any kind of addictive behavior is a problem. Exercise personal responsibility. Let the buyer beware.

Up until Obama's election, I thought my generation had fallen asleep from too much screen time and left the world for someone else to clean up. And now someone my age is President.

Who knows . . .

 

[Recidiva]

OK, one last question and then I promise I'll give this thread some milk and cookies, read it a story and put it to bed.

Since the majority of people who've responded think the internet is beneficial or at least benign, I'm curious to know how often you unplug. I'm talking completely - no laptop, no crackberry, no gameboy, nothing. Do you take two week vacations with your family during which no one goes online, texts friends, plays video games, etc?

Are there large chunks of time in your life when you are disconnected?

If not, why not? And if so, how long is the longest you can stand being unplugged?

Thanks everyone for answering my nosy questions.

BTW I'm in an LDR with my PYL so I'm not as anti-internet as I portray myself. LOL.

There were times in my life when I didn't. When I first started online, I was sleep deprived and obsessed.

I'd go to nuke my breakfast and find that I hadn't eaten the dinner I'd nuked 6 hours earlier.

Now the internet is a tool like other tools. I garden, I work out, I cook, I spend time with my family and I don't feel any pull to be online. I get all the things I need to get done and I'll be going with my family this year to Denali National Park.

In my case, however, I have a few special circumstances. I'm an introverted personality type and I also have migraines 2 out of 3 days of my life. Sticking to home is a survival necessity.

My job is online so at the end of my work day I want to get as far from the computer as possible as I've been chained to it for 10 hours. TEN HOURS ONLINE? Every day! Easily. And I get paid. That's enough to make me "defined as sick" by many, who bewail my post count and lack of life.

I go through seasons of interests. I'm just as likely to be found using the X-Box 360 or computer as I am cooking, crafting (last year was knitting and pine-needle basket weaving) or rereading favorite books. I don't have to make time to unplug because it happens naturally. I've been off Lit for months.

My parents had a cabin where I spent most of my summers. On her wall she had a cartoon of a man in a car speaking to his wife. In the background was a gorgeous mountain range. The man was saying as they drove off "They don't have color TV, only black and white! I laughed in his face." My mother defined that anyone watching any TV at any point in time "The Idiot Box" was wasting their lives.

As far as I'm concerned, if you can support yourself and if you're happy...where's the harm?

I partake in what I consider to be useful to me. I make my living online and entertain myself. I have a cell phone but I swear I've used it about five times in five years. I don't use portable systems and usually when I go on vacation I tend to insist on no TV. In fact I usually cover most electronics (unless they're in the kitchen) and clocks.

If you make it work for you, that's what counts.

And even though right now I'm a lot more relaxed about time online, I think everyone needs about 10 years of online experience before the novelty wears off and it's just another modern convenience like refrigeration, hot water and sliced bread and we stop being amazed by it and just use it as any other tool.

 

[Keroin]

There were times in my life when I didn't. When I first started online, I was sleep deprived and obsessed.

I'd go to nuke my breakfast and find that I hadn't eaten the dinner I'd nuked 6 hours earlier.Wow, I'm glad you don't do this anymore!

Now the internet is a tool like other tools. I garden, I work out, I cook, I spend time with my family and I don't feel any pull to be online. I get all the things I need to get done and I'll be going with my family this year to Denali National Park.Have fun!

In my case, however, I have a few special circumstances. I'm an introverted personality type and I also have migraines 2 out of 3 days of my life. I'm going to give you some annoying advice about this. Sticking to home is a survival necessity.

My job is online so at the end of my work day I want to get as far from the computer as possible as I've been chained to it for 10 hours. TEN HOURS ONLINE? Every day! Easily. And I get paid. That's enough to make me "defined as sick" by many, who bewail my post count and lack of life. No, I get it. I write and sometimes, when the muse is on a roll, friends literally have to drag me out of my "cave".

I go through seasons of interests. I'm just as likely to be found using the X-Box 360 or computer as I am cooking, crafting (last year was knitting and pine-needle basket weaving) or rereading favorite books. I don't have to make time to unplug because it happens naturally. I've been off Lit for months. Balance. Yes.

My parents had a cabin where I spent most of my summers. On her wall she had a cartoon of a man in a car speaking to his wife. In the background was a gorgeous mountain range. The man was saying as they drove off "They don't have color TV, only black and white! I laughed in his face." My mother defined that anyone watching any TV at any point in time "The Idiot Box" was wasting their lives. I'm with your mom here. I may have mixed feelings about the internet but I'm very anti-TV, which is ironic because I worked in the business. But also very logical, I guess, for the same reason.

As far as I'm concerned, if you can support yourself and if you're happy...where's the harm?

I partake in what I consider to be useful to me. I make my living online and entertain myself. I have a cell phone but I swear I've used it about five times in five years. I don't use portable systems and usually when I go on vacation I tend to insist on no TV. In fact I usually cover most electronics (unless they're in the kitchen) and clocks.

If you make it work for you, that's what counts.

And even though right now I'm a lot more relaxed about time online, I think everyone needs about 10 years of online experience before the novelty wears off and it's just another modern convenience like refrigeration, hot water and sliced bread and we stop being amazed by it and just use it as any other tool. I'm picturing a support group for cavemen addicted to fire. Don't know why that strikes me as funny. "Groc, would you like to share?" "Well, I can't stop staring at it, it's so bright and colourful and warm, you know what I mean?" Everyone nods and grunts.

Here's the annoying advice:

I used to suffer from migraines and headaches constantly. I tried everything, with no luck. Then a buddy of mine, who’d had the same problem only much worse, gave me the name of a naturopath and told me to go see him. I’m super skeptical of any kind of hocus pocus medicine but my friend’s migraines used to be so bad he had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance, on more than one occasion, and he claimed this “doctor” cured him. So, I bit the bullet and went. (I had some other medical problems as well; I was desperate).

I can’t recall the last time I had a migraine. It was all diet related. Turns out I am allergic to some very common foods. (Same with my friend, he can’t touch grapes or tomatoes any more), I cut those foods out, tweaked a few other foods, and viola! Healed. Now, when I get a headache, I wonder how I managed the pain all those years. Crazy.

Just a suggestion, though. I resisted going this route for years. Stubborn fool that I am. Mind you, there are a lot of crack pots out there claiming to be natural healers, this guy just happened to be very, very good.

 

[Recidiva]

Here's the annoying advice:

I used to suffer from migraines and headaches constantly. I tried everything, with no luck. Then a buddy of mine, who’d had the same problem only much worse, gave me the name of a naturopath and told me to go see him. I’m super skeptical of any kind of hocus pocus medicine but my friend’s migraines used to be so bad he had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance, on more than one occasion, and he claimed this “doctor” cured him. So, I bit the bullet and went. (I had some other medical problems as well; I was desperate).

I can’t recall the last time I had a migraine. It was all diet related. Turns out I am allergic to some very common foods. (Same with my friend, he can’t touch grapes or tomatoes any more), I cut those foods out, tweaked a few other foods, and viola! Healed. Now, when I get a headache, I wonder how I managed the pain all those years. Crazy.

Just a suggestion, though. I resisted going this route for years. Stubborn fool that I am. Mind you, there are a lot of crack pots out there claiming to be natural healers, this guy just happened to be very, very good.

Thank you, I've tried many healing methods and so far my forays into alternative medicine worked much better on every other ailment except the one I wished to cure. I have no problem with all these paths as they're great for other stuff.

So now I'm not sick at all EXCEPT for migraines and I treat those with Imitrex and I do well.

My personality though that really avoids smoky, crowded, loud places...remains the same.

My migraines are much more like seizures than the vascular thingy, so I have a different model of operation. I've had an MRI and actually have scarring, so we're dealing with damage already done and coping.

I do not long to get out. I long for my comfy warm bed, a nice book and my Snuggy.

 

[Keroin]

Never let it be said I can't admit when I'm wrong.

I have friend in the hospital at this moment who is recovering from surgery for stomach cancer. (They removed his entire stomach and a big hunk of his small intestine). His new wife is a very dear friend of mine; she is helping with his recovery and researching his particular type of cancer. Today she sent me an email update and it made me think of this thread, in particular, the folks who tried to make me understand that the good of the internet outweighs the bad.

Here is a line from the email update:
"I cannot imagine how folks who got a cancer diagnosis before the Internet was available as a tool managed to gather information."

Wow. I feel so very humbled.

OK, I get it now. Thanks for trying to enlighten me.

K

 

[myinnerslut]

So now I'm not sick at all EXCEPT for migraines and I treat those with Imitrex and I do well.

i got migraines very badly and was given imitrex, only to find out after taking it that.. im allergic to it! it and all the medicines in that family of medicine. i had to be put on oxygen so i could breathe until it wore off.

my migraine fix came along with heart surgery in september (happy side affect, not the reason for the surgery). i certainly wouldnt recommend it as a way to cure the problem, but it worked for me.

 

[Recidiva]

i got migraines very badly and was given imitrex, only to find out after taking it that.. im allergic to it! it and all the medicines in that family of medicine. i had to be put on oxygen so i could breathe until it wore off.

my migraine fix came along with heart surgery in september (happy side affect, not the reason for the surgery). i certainly wouldnt recommend it as a way to cure the problem, but it worked for me.

I have had awful reactions to so many of the trials they gave me...

Topomax in particular I THINK reduced my migraine severity, but it resulted in such massive personality changes I didn't recognize myself any more. My family begged me to come off it in short order as it had apparently cut my IQ in half, made me petty and angry and suicidal. Memory loss, all food tasted like chlorine...

It was like being unable to experience pain or pleasure. I went through Darkman syndrome. In the comic the guy had his nervous system disconnected so he wouldn't experience the pain of severe burns. But he went crazy because he couldn't feel ANYTHING. Scary, scary bad place.

I love who I am, it's a shame I have to take the medicine, it'd be nice if I weren't...well...broken.

But when I'm well, I love the person I am. Anything that really alters my personality makes me and the people who choose to be with me - unhappy.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Magnesium is a natural cure for migraines (I suffer from them when I am out of my pills like now) as well as a host of other body problems like muscle cramps and spasms, insomnia, backaches, anxiety, hyperactivity and restlessness.

It's a relatively inexpensive natural remedy that you can pick up in most any grocery store now in the health food section, and it's a mineral that our bodies need anyway. Most problems that are associated with what magnesium cures occur because of magnesium deficiency.

 

[Recidiva]

Magnesium is a natural cure for migraines (I suffer from them when I am out of my pills like now) as well as a host of other body problems like muscle cramps and spasms, insomnia, backaches, anxiety, hyperactivity and restlessness.

It's a relatively inexpensive natural remedy that you can pick up in most any grocery store now in the health food section, and it's a mineral that our bodies need anyway. Most problems that are associated with what magnesium cures occur because of magnesium deficiency.

Doesn't work for me, but I still take 500 mg every night...because they say so.

But as far as I can tell, it doesn't make any difference in anything.

I take a lot of supplements on a placebo basis, and it's definitely better than it used to be, but I'm still using about 18 tablets of Imitrex a month, and I'd use more if I could legally, that's the limit of what you can get by prescription.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Doesn't work for me, but I still take 500 mg every night...because they say so.

But as far as I can tell, it doesn't make any difference in anything.

I take a lot of supplements on a placebo basis, and it's definitely better than it used to be, but I'm still using about 18 tablets of Imitrex a month, and I'd use more if I could legally, that's the limit of what you can get by prescription.

Wow. You poor baby

I was taking kelp capsules originally (I'm a natural remedy nut) but had to stop that because too much iodine in the body isn't good either. Since I've done the magnesium, though, I've noticed a considerable difference.