Oral Issue.

[Dickkramer]

My Wife has given me 2 excuses why she doesn't like to performoral sexon me.

!. I'm to big and hurt her mouth.

2. It makes her feel likea whore.


I think it has more to do with her wanting to just lay there and feel me insdie her ( she says its the best feeling ).

I've told her I really love her giving me oral cause she is like a Born natural, of all 3 times she has done it for me it was amazing, better then any I've had before her.

Anyway I can talk her around those excuses?

 

[Snowman5933]

Not to sound negative, but I don't like you saying "excuses". If she doesn't like to perform oral sex, you should be man enough to respect that.

Snowman

 

[Chicago69]

Was she into giving you head before you got married?

 

[SweetErika]

My Wife has given me 2 excuses why she doesn't like to performoral sexon me.

!. I'm to big and hurt her mouth.

Some people don't have great physiology for oral. Have you asked her if it'd be better if she just took the head into her mouth, or if that's too much, just kiss and lick you while she stimulates the rest with her hands?

2. It makes her feel likea whore.

This also sounds legitimate, though like Snowman said, she doesn't really need a reason, and while you may not like it, you must respect it.

What you can do is communicate about her feelings in a loving, supportive way if she's open to doing so. Has she said why it makes her feel like a whore? Have you talked about how you view all oral as a loving, intimate, pleasureable activity that you only want to do with someone you love and respect now (or something similar that's genuine- the important point is to express, without pushing or trying to convince her, why you feel differently about it?

I think it has more to do with her wanting to just lay there and feel me insdie her ( she says its the best feeling ).

Well, yeah, from a physical standpoint, sex is a hell of a lot better than giving oral for the vast majority of people. Receiving oral, being touched by skilled hands/a mouth, anal play, and my toys are also more physically stimulating than giving oral, and most of those things often do more for me than sex if we leave out the mental/emotional components. No big surprise there.

Hopefully you're exploring and finding lots of things your wife enjoys just as much as sex. You could also try different modifications to her laying there during sex - try stimulating her breasts, clit, and/or other hotspots during; experiment with adding a vibe to sex, positions that provide more g-spot/clit/mental stimulation, etc.

I've told her I really love her giving me oral cause she is like a Born natural, of all 3 times she has done it for me it was amazing, better then any I've had before her.

She may have interpreted that comment as equating her to a whore, if she believes it's something only whores do. Think really hard and try to come up with other, more emotional, reasons you love it. You can even tell her, "You know, I was really thinking about what was so special about you giving me oral, and I realized...[heartfelt, less physical reasons here]. I absolutely respect your reasons for disliking it, and am not trying to convince you, but I did want to share those thoughts with you."

And, never EVER say "excuses" to her because that word implies she's not being truthful and trying to get out of it when it sounds like she has a couple of very legitimate reasons for disliking it.

Even if communicating and sharing doesn't seem to help, be even more generous with her than you are now. Give her pleasure like it's going out of style, share, listen, find out what really gets her going physically and emotionally, and do those things for her constantly. I suggest this because I have learned being extremely generous with everything in a loving relationship always comes back to the giver many times over. Sometimes we're not repaid in the exact same ways (her oral for yours, for instance), but quite often we are, so by giving more to her, she may decide to give trying different oral techniques and changing her views a try.

 

[oree]

oral issue at age 56

Hooking up with an old girl friend with whom I was quite intimate in the 60's I was amazed that she was utterly befuddled and clueless when I shifted "up" in position while in bed expecting some oral. I immediately knew she had never done it and asked later. since she has been faithful to only one all through the years I figured it was something they knew nothing of.
When I had the opportunity to give her the kiss down there which she had never experienced, she was elated and I heard the joyful "don't stop".
Needless to say she enjoyed. When I asked she admitted she had never experienced that type of orgasim.
How should I approach this in the future? I do believe she wants to know how to return the favor to her first and now again, close boyfriend. Let her ask when the time is right or ask more about her feelings of reciprocation?
Of course, I would love to give the first time instructions and see her in action but don't want to push it.
Like they say about the old car...... may be old but it still gets hot!
Guy of the 60's, in Oh.

 

[Dickkramer]

In no way have I been negative towards my wife, before we married she gave me oral every time we had sex.

I've never used the word "excuses" to her. Just my feeling that she first said it hurt her mouth then rather recently she said it made her feel like a whore.

I realise 1 issue may be that when I married her she was a virgin vaginally, but was sexually assualted anally when young ( 13-15 ).

I guess I will continue being patient and keep talking to her about it.

 

[tanyachrs]

before we married she gave me oral every time we had sex.

All three times?

 

[TBKahuna123]

Sometimes it's the smallest things that can change a person's perspective on something, especially oral sex. I realized a few months ago that my wife had never given me a blowjob with me standing and her kneeling the whole time we've been togther. Not a big deal, but while this seems like such a natural (ok prevelant in porn) position, and the fact that she truly enjoys oral sex, it just seemed strange. When I asked her she said she didn't like it, but really wouldn't say why. I deduced though from the conversation that it was an emotional thing, be it a feeling of subservience or some such thing. It is such a small thing as a certain position that gave her an aversion, while simply avoiding that position would make everything cool.

The point is, talk to her about why it makes her feel like a whore. This is a very real feeling and one that I'm sure you don't want. Let her know that while you would love for her to have satisfy you in that way, that you certainly don't want to make her feel degraded. Find out if there is something specific about this that bothers her, maybe it's something small that can be corrected like a position or an attitude. Whatever you do, be gentle and don't push her. This is a pretty powerful feeling that pushing will jsut make worse.

 

[Genie_69]

Well, for one thing, you should understand that a woman giving head to a guy is more straining than it is for you to go down on your woman. Ever go to the dentist and have your mouth propped open for an hour? It's like that. without the thing helping her keep her mouth open. Of course, she licks and other stuff too, but the majority of the time her mouth is open to accomodate you =] and that's generally regardless of how big you are. our mouths can only open so far comfortably :[

but, repeating what was said earlier, you should respect your wife's wishes. on the other hand, look at your sexual life... does it seem like you're always pleasuring her? going down on her, doing everything she likes, etc.? although respect is of course an issue, a sexual relationship whouldn't be all take and no give.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Well, for one thing, you should understand that a woman giving head to a guy is more straining than it is for you to go down on your woman. Ever go to the dentist and have your mouth propped open for an hour? It's like that. without the thing helping her keep her mouth open. Of course, she licks and other stuff too, but the majority of the time her mouth is open to accomodate you =] and that's generally regardless of how big you are. our mouths can only open so far comfortably :[

but, repeating what was said earlier, you should respect your wife's wishes. on the other hand, look at your sexual life... does it seem like you're always pleasuring her? going down on her, doing everything she likes, etc.? although respect is of course an issue, a sexual relationship whouldn't be all take and no give.

I might disagree with the straining part. I've had quite a few sore necks afterwards. Not to mention the time my wife locked on with her thighs and fell off the bed in her dorm room. I'm not sure how red I was when the chiropractor asked me how I hurt my neck, but he must have got the idea because he took one look at my face and just said "Ahhh." That's a true story.

 

[PinkPussyDelux]

do you go down on her?

 

[AlecBond]

empty

 

[TBKahuna123]

My thoughts precisely.

This sounds like a) troll b) bad liar which either way,
a = c
b = c
and c) stupid.

...is this where we're all supposed to be so amazed and ask about just how big your giant manpenis is that it doesn't even fit the head near a woman's mouth?

You may be right but it doesn't take a massive penis to make a woman's jaw hurt from giving head. My wife often has to give up because her jaw starts hurting and I'm not packing a baby iguana or nothing. She may be equating his size with the problem, when there is another reason. or she may just have a small mouth. It is possible.

 

[ShinigamiSama]

she may have watched some bad porn and heard some bad jokes
she may be closed minded about it now because of it

but if you're going down on her and she's not going down on you I hardly see that as fair

I beleave it was erika that suggested she just licks nibbles and sucks
dont need take the whole thing for that and should get her used to the idea of it being normal atleast

other that maybe some counciling for that sexual assult you mentioned?

 

[buxxxom]

There is a condition called bruxism which causes a person to clench and grind his/her teeth at night, leading to jaw pain and neck stiffness the next day. This might lead to the pain she says she feels holding her mouth open. Don't know about the "feeling like a whore" part. I like it and like the feeling of control giving oral sex gives me.

 

[snake1500]

...sounds like grounds for divorce to me.....

 

[Râleclins]

Well, I've been with a girl who actually had a small mouth. We once talked openly about it in front of a friend, and putting our fingers in our mouths we realized that she actually did have a smaller mouth than the two others of us. So, well, I'd say that there's not so much to do about such an anatomical matter. If fellatio is uncomfortable to a girl, why insist ? There are plenty of other paths to explore for the both of you...

 

[DakiniGirl]

damn... I love big dicks and feeling like a whore!

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

damn... I love big dicks and feeling like a whore!

Pleasure to make your acquaintence

 

[DakiniGirl]

Pleasure to make your acquaintence

LOL

 

[jl22play]

HaHaHaHa!

damn... I love big dicks and feeling like a whore!

ROFLMAO!!!
That was good!! Me too!

 

[jl22play]

Fuck. This one was good too!

do you go down on her?

Make her cum this way! Many times! Bet she'll do it for you then!!! Hahahahahahaha!

 

[lil_slave_rose]

My Wife has given me 2 excuses why she doesn't like to performoral sexon me.

!. I'm to big and hurt her mouth.

2. It makes her feel likea whore.


I think it has more to do with her wanting to just lay there and feel me insdie her ( she says its the best feeling ).

I've told her I really love her giving me oral cause she is like a Born natural, of all 3 times she has done it for me it was amazing, better then any I've had before her.

Anyway I can talk her around those excuses?

doesn't sound like excuses to me, it sounds like valid reasons to not 'like' doing it. i have a friend who will not do oral, at all. she doesn't like giving OR receiving. she thinks both are gross.though i don't share her opinion, she has a right to feel that way. though her husband would love to both give and receive her understands her reasons for not wanting to and they find other ways to please each other. on another note, it does hurt my jaws after a while also, and my neck gets sore also, especially if it takes a while for Him to cum. i think it was erika that suggested she just lick, nibble and so on, maybe that would be good a idea to start, and don't push so hard to get her give you head because i'm assuming, if she's anything like me, that will jsut make her not want to do it all the more. good luck to you

 

[Dickkramer]

My thoughts precisely.

This sounds like a) troll b) bad liar which either way,
a = c
b = c
and c) stupid.

...is this where we're all supposed to be so amazed and ask about just how big your giant manpenis is that it doesn't even fit the head near a woman's mouth?

Before we got married we had alot of sex, and each time she gave me oral.

After we got married ( all but the 3 noted times ) it stopped. An I have been given those 2 reasons.

I'm not a troll and I don't care about the size of my penis. I just want to know or get some tips on how to talk to my wife or get her to open up about whats bothering her.

I'm here for our pleasure in bed

 

[FurryFury]

My Wife has given me 2 excuses why she doesn't like to perform oral sex on me.

!. I'm too big and hurt her mouth.

2. It makes her feel like a whore.


I think it has more to do with her wanting to just lay there and feel me inside her ( she says its the best feeling ).

I've told her I really love her giving me oral cause she is like a Born natural, of all 3 times she has done it for me it was amazing, better then any I've had before her.

Anyway I can talk her around those excuses?

So what you are saying is that you think she is lazy?

Cause that's what I'm getting from this post.

Okay here is the deal. You and she must find a way to communicate about this in a way that is as non threatening and emotionally un-charged as possible.

If you tell her that oral sex is important to you and she doesn't want to do anything about it, that sounds like a problem to me.

As far as it hurting and you being too big, yeah that can happen. Didn't you love it when she said how big you were though? Bask in that thought alone for a moment cause that's kind of nice.

Okay back the challenge, you could try other positions that might help her.

Also you need to get this whole feeling like a whore thing talked out. Tell her how you feel about her when she does it. Do you feel like she is being like a whore? If not tell her how you are thinking of her particularly if it is complimentary or sweet.

If you want something that she doesn't want to get then, you might want to make a deal. I'll do for you and you can do for me, how does that sound. My sense of fairness automatically does that but maybe some chicks need it laid out?

Final thought, don't nag her about it, or make her feel pressured after discussing it. It won't help and will create even more resentment for both of you. (Personally I'd be pissed if something was important to me and my partner didn't seem to give a crap or enough of one. In fact that's how I feel right now.)

Fury