Pet peeves

[Ekserb]

Is it just me, or are eighty percent of the male avatars just closeups of hard dicks in briefs?

The stretched cotton fabric across the engorged cock is becoming the tattoo of the Lit profile — pretty soon it will be the outlaw who has only a picture of his face.

 

[Ekserb]

Why are so many of the men on Lit single when it seems they all have "what you need" when it comes to sex?

There are a lot of threads posted by women who have some gripe about sex or sexual positions, or they have a boyfriend/husband who isn't taking care of them in the bedroom. Every one of these threads starts off with one or two "oh, I'm so sorry" responses, but then, every fucking time, there are usually half a dozen guys who say, "Baby, you just need a man who will take care of you the right way. I'm willing to volunteer my services and do that for you."

Gee. What a gentleman. The world needs more men like you.

 

[gunforhire]

Words and phrases that are overused on this site:

Number One: "Stunning!" (I'm really getting sick of this one. Can't you fuckers think of anything else to say?)

2. "Your pics take my breath away!"

3. "I'm in awe of your amazing beauty!"

4. "Yours is the most beautiful body I've ever seen!"

5. "I could look at these pics for the rest of my life and never get tired of seeing them!"

6. "Do you need a photographer? I'd like to volunteer my services!" (Douchebag alert!)

Of course, these are all spelled correctly and the grammar is accurate. In reality they are rarely either and almost never both.

At the very least these are good guidelines on how not to comment. I'm sure I've been guilty of some things similar in the past, but hopefully not too many.

How about "you have the most wonderful ass-sets" on Lit.

 

[homina]

easy

arrogant pricks who think they are better than everyone else on the boards, and tend to criticize others for what they say, do, like, or don't like

everyone one here is on a free internet porn board, no one deserves to be on a high horse about anything

 

[Ekserb]

How about "you have the most wonderful ass-sets" on Lit.

Oh, Christ. That one, too.

 

[dominofx]

Why are so many of the men on Lit single when it seems they all have "what you need" when it comes to sex?

There are a lot of threads posted by women who have some gripe about sex or sexual positions, or they have a boyfriend/husband who isn't taking care of them in the bedroom. Every one of these threads starts off with one or two "oh, I'm so sorry" responses, but then, every fucking time, there are usually half a dozen guys who say, "Baby, you just need a man who will take care of you the right way. I'm willing to volunteer my services and do that for you."

Gee. What a gentleman. The world needs more men like you.

lol you are one sad dick, still you keep coming back to lit to read these threads........just to offer your expert view of course, if you do not like the way people interact on these threads, then don't bloody read them, no one really cares, so why should you

 

[Ekserb]

lol you are one sad dick, still you keep coming back to lit to read these threads........just to offer your expert view of course, if you do not like the way people interact on these threads, then don't bloody read them, no one really cares, so why should you

Welcome to the Pet Peeve thread, fuckface.

 

[dominofx]

Welcome to the Pet Peeve thread, fuckface.

 

[Ekserb]

You were expecting a different response?

 

[dominofx]

You were expecting a different response?

nah, at least you're a consistant bullshitter

 

[gunforhire]

Is it just me, or are eighty percent of the male avatars just closeups of hard dicks in briefs?

The stretched cotton fabric across the engorged cock is becoming the tattoo of the Lit profile — pretty soon it will be the outlaw who has only a picture of his face.

You haven't seen anything until you've seen this guy's signature.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=31362352&postcount=1660


It actually used to be 10x that size, so that the page he posted on was dominated by him and his schlong

 

[bluebell]

And here's the worst part: You wantonly and relentlessly post detailed photos of your disgusting cock without so much as a half-interested inquiry, and this is without a doubt the worst-looking part of your body. For the love of all that's decent and good, don't post dick pictures unless your dick is good to look at. (I know all the women say it's nice — they're being kind.)

I agree. I think I've seen three handsome cocks so far in my life. And when they're pretty, they're pretty.
When they aren't they haunt my vision and I can't avert my eyes fast enough. Bloated, pasty danglies with obscene angles and grotesque close-ups. Oh, baby.
Nothing gets me hotter than seeing a man's hand grasping at their Fountain of Hot* like some disembodied, engorged glow-worm from space.

Truth.**


* Warning: Creative Embellishment License at use here. Cocks mentioned in this thread may not be as hot as they think they are.
** Thoughts and opinions expressed in this post may or may not be entirely true. In fact, if you have to wonder, I'm probably lying.

I'm not as noisy as a beagle, you will be glad to know.

Mo, I imagine we'd all be glad to know just about anything if it's coming from you.

I like a good design aesthetic, and I also like a well-engineered piece of hardware, but I dislike when a manufacturer tries to build what they think is good design by adding non-functioning form.

Non-functioning hood scoops, side scoops, spoilers, and air dams are, on the other hand, supposed to give the look of an aerodynamically functional performance-enhancing device, but in reality they do nothing other than add weight and aerodynamic drag. In effect, they do more to slow the car than they would if they didn't exist. I can count on one hand the number of currently produced vehicles with actual working body openings that duct air into or out of the car in order to make the engine or brakes more efficient, or to make the car more slippery to the wind or hold it tighter to the ground.

This whole thing sounded dirty to me.
You sick fuck.


Take me now.

Stop substituting seemingly innocuous words for profanity. When you say, "I hate this freaking job," we all know what you mean, so just say it. We know that in your head you've translated from "fuck" to "freak," so if you're doing it to preserve the purity of our ears, you can knock it off.

And if you're afraid using the word "fuck" is offensive to god, I've got news for you: he knows the word you meant to say and you're still going to pay for it.




Of course I'm kidding - there is no god.

Fark you, you frickin' cooterpoo.
And thanks for outing god; it's like you ruined motherloving Christmas!


Damn that was difficult. My circuits are wired for saying fuck. There's no stopping now. Fuck is a lifestyle choice.

 

[dominofx]

You haven't seen anything until you've seen this guy's signature.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=31362352&postcount=1660


It actually used to be 10x that size, so that the page he posted on was dominated by him and his schlong

you loved his cock really....go on admit it

 

[bluebell]

My peeve lately: weddings.
And by "peeve" I mean a round, sound, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington-type fist bang with accompanying venom-laced ranting.

Not necessarily marriage, the institution.
No, I mean weddings. The actual act of getting married in a spectacle befitting Liberace. Those ceremonies, acts, observances, customs, and inevitable obligatory and expensive bullshit that makes me want to put my head through a plate-glass window.
Multiple times.
Just so I can feel the life seeping out of me over and over and over.

WHAT. Is the point. Of it all?
I get that the point is mostly selfish ("Oh, it's MY turn now!"), and that's fine- I get it. It's the same with purses and cell phones and babies.
My issue comes when you harangue other people into action for your own selfish desires. And I mean, people who do not want to participate. People who, for the most part, exist on the periphery of your life.

You ask them to devote their time, money, pride, dignity, and to muster whatever sentiment they can about it, and let me tell you: for all the hassle, the thing they're most glad about is the possibility of an open bar at the wedding.

I have no doubt someone will jump in and attempt to tell me that it's not just an attention/money-scaring tactic- that it's about celebrating your love for people who want to celebrate it with you and share in that. Fine. You go talk to alllllllllllllllllllllllll the people in your life and take a poll of how many actually register on the Give-A-Fuck-O-Meter. Like, really. Because if you did that and THEN evaluated your wedding, it would be vastly different. Vastly smaller.

All this is not to say that there aren't sane people in the world who have modest celebrations, actually think and consider what they're asking other people to do and sacrifice for them. Those people exist. They do. In small clumps. Not near enough to me, of course, but they do exist.

Memo to you clueless brides and grooms (and please take serious note that this memo also applies to people who want/have children):

NOT EVERYONE IS ABLE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU AND WHAT YOU WANT.

Not everyone is able to give a care or react or respond or ENJOY what we've [unfortunately] come to think of as "customary" milestones.
Some of us actually seize up with pain at the thought of having to attend a bridal shower.
Some of us would rather be dumped into a pit of flesh-eating slugs than to waste a Saturday pretending to give a shit about the shrimp forks your future mother-in-law just gave to you.
Some of us do not take pleasure in having to sit through a fifty-million hour reception with dullards and drunks, eating food with weird sauces and waiting for cake that's not even worth it.
Some of us actually have pussies that clinch in pain at the thought of childbirth; brains that spasm in terror at the thought of being a parent or having to expend effort on YOUR spawn and convincing you that we really don't want to throw that kid into a fucking gunnysack in the trunk of a car of someone who will auction them off on the black market.

Marriage [and child-rearing] as institutions are- sure, you know, fine. Whatever. Some people are truly excellent human beings who can and do extraordinary things within those constructs every day. But don't expect me to be able to give as much of a care (or any) as you think I should. If I've been vocal enough to let you know what my feelings are then don't think I'm gonna pull a switcheroo just because it's you and you're central to my life in some way. Ain't gonna happen.
The difference between my selfishness and yours is that mine is not demanding anything from you. Yours IS.

If you feel led, just go do it. Don't wait for the fucking parade. Especially not from me.

 

[Ekserb]

You haven't seen anything until you've seen this guy's signature.

It actually used to be 10x that size, so that the page he posted on was dominated by him and his schlong

His cock was ten times that size?!? Why the fuck did he have it reduced? Some people are never happy with what they've got.

 

[Ekserb]

Damn that was difficult. My circuits are wired for saying fuck. There's no stopping now. Fuck is a lifestyle choice.

I fucking love you. Seriously.

 

[Ekserb]

Memo to you clueless brides and grooms (and please take serious note that this memo also applies to people who want/have children):

NOT EVERYONE IS ABLE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU AND WHAT YOU WANT.

Did I tell you I love you? 'Cause it just went from love to something I'd drag my cock across two miles of broken glass just to get a taste of.†

†Another example of the fucking lame posts that are perpetrated by the men of this site. You're welcome.

 

[gunforhire]

His cock was ten times that size?!? Why the fuck did he have it reduced? Some people are never happy with what they've got.

clever

you loved his cock really....go on admit it

not so much

 

[bluebell]

I fucking love you. Seriously.

Schwing! (With pelvic thrust.)

Did I tell you I love you? 'Cause it just went from love to something I'd drag my cock across two miles of broken glass just to get a taste of.†

†Another example of the fucking lame posts that are perpetrated by the men of this site. You're welcome.

B-b-b-but I thought you really meant it! Lip tremble.

 

[monique1971]

Bluebell! I love you too!

I'm not as pretty as Ekserb, but I can cook, so you should choose me.

 

[Macdaddy23]

Noisy neighbors

 

[Ekserb]

B-b-b-but I thought you really meant it! Lip tremble.

Oh, I totally do!

And don't choose Mo. She's not even in this country.

 

[Ekserb]

Bluebell! I love you too!

I'm not as pretty as Ekserb, but I can cook, so you should choose me.

I can make spaghetti.

And microwave pizza.

 

[trysail]

kthxbai

This purported "English" was posted on this website— a website which, after all, is called LITERotica, implying at least a modicum of literacy. What the fuck is "kthxbai" and what the fuck does it mean? The writer might as well have posted in fucking Swahili or Gaelic or Abyssinian.

 

[Daizie]

Ahhhh. I have missed this thread and those who post in it.

Ekserb, you are stunning, as always. *

bluebell, would you like to see a pic of my 5 kids? And would you like to hear about my fabulous child-birthing experience in a tub of water with a doula? **

* I am kidding. But only about the use of 'stunning'.

** I was completely kidding.