Physical Limitations and BDSM

[SexyChele]

I have two physical problems I have to take into consideration during BDSM play.
I have arthritis, particularly in my shoulders, but also in my hips, and when it flares up I am unable to paly much, either because my shoulders won't let me swing anything, and my hips won't let me receive. Fortunately, I only get one or two serious flareups a years, usually when the weather is cold and damp.
The more serious problem is that about 15 years ago I had both my knees shattered in an industrial accident. I can not kneel long, or do much strenuous lifting or long stretchs of walking. On the bright side, the settlement I received allowed me to become financially independent.

Oh, JB, shattered knees sound like a no fun situation to me! Not even with the ability to be financially independent. Sounds like major pain and major rehab to me. But you seem to have developed a good attitude about it. And that's all that matters sometimes, isn't it?

 

[Desdemona]

Great thread Chele!

I've been wondering about this issue for a while myself. I don't currently have significant limitations, but I'm aware that we all are aging and with that process come inevitable physical changes. I've wondered how changes in flexibility and endurance as well as disabilities that may occur will impact us over time. Currently, I'm lucky and don't have anything truly significant to cope with. My knees won't allow for long periods of kneeling and my seasonal allergies won't allow me to breathe with a gag in place (not even with good decongestants in my system).

 

["angel" eve]

i sometimes believed no one had any problems

i have to agree that it's easy to believe everyone online is perfect, that they've got things more figured out than yourself, that everyone is a terribly beautiful person on the outside as well as the inside, and there are no physical limitations. and besides that everyone knows more than we do inside ourselves. reading this forum has helped ease my belief that everyone knows more than me. yes in some areas some ppl do, in other areas others do and so on and so on.

until now, i never really believed that anyone had physical difficulties though. or rather i knew, but i didn't believe it. thank you. thank you all.

i realise that once again my problems could be so much worse, and how greatful i am to be able to talk about my difficulties and understand my girl's.

i have headaches pretty much constantly, migranes are rare though. i also have a depression problem that can make my life very confusing. my problems are mental, physically i'm well enough. then again i'm only 19 - i'm still invincible.

my girl has bad ankles, and flat feet which means after work she'll be in alot of pain, up through her legs also because she has been trying to take away the pain in her ankles. she also gets migraines.

we live with it.

thank you for being so honest

 

[li'a-wahine]

.

Another factor in our play is I have asthma. So gags are just a hard NO for me. I'm petrified of having my mouth stuffed full and being bound and not being able to tell him I can't breathe. Dead isn't a good way to play I don't think.



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Thats me too. we never use a gag because of that also. anything that restricts my breathing just doesn't happpen, period.

 

[James Blandings]

Oh, JB, shattered knees sound like a no fun situation to me! Not even with the ability to be financially independent. Sounds like major pain and major rehab to me. But you seem to have developed a good attitude about it. And that's all that matters sometimes, isn't it?

Thank you, Chele. It was a major rehab- over 9 months before I could walk again.
What happened was, I was working in an auto plant. A high-low driver backed into a stock rack, which collapsed on top of me and one of the shelfs landed right across my knees.
It's old news now though, so having a good attitude comes fairly easy.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bump...informative thread which some might like to contribute their own experiences to.

 

[Emma_Ray_Garrett]

Terrific bump, Catalina. There is some really good info here.

Personally, I don't have any serious physical limitations but I've had subs that did. Things like asthma and knee injuries. That's why its so important to get to know the sub, IMO, before jumping right in to play. Setting ground rules and knowing each others limits is really important.

Thanks again for bumping this.

 

[boz]

I had to read, just for nostalgia.

I miss (most) of those people.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

What happened to some of these posters??

 

[Stegral]

WOW... was reading the thread...
my limitations are hard but not physical.. they are emotional/mental..

A friend of mine suffered extremely from fybromyalga (sp sorry)
She had trouble getting out of bed most days & I didn't understand why.
a different friend of mine has a homopathic place where Rieke is done, along with ALOT of other natural healing ways... no drugs, no chiropractors, no physiotherapy...
After much sidestepping by the insurance company they finally agreed, well within a year she was such a different person EVERYONE saw the difference...
Best part was when she got to go camping again... something she hadn't been able to do or enjoy in "way too long"
Look into holstic medicine... sometimes it may be worth it...

OMG leeroy... I hope you enjoyed that... you are sooooooo pink !!!!! (cute butt)

 

[jadefirefly]

Wow. I don't think I could imagine dealing with most of these things.

My own issues are ridiculously minor. I don't have TMJ, exactly, but my jaw... well, it doesn't lock shut, but when opening it there is always a point about halfway open that *snaps*. At this same spot, if I've kept my jaw either tensed up for too long, or held it open for more than a few minutes, it hurts like hell and will sometimes be unable to open beyond that point for a little while.

Imagine trying to get a guy to understand that until he -hears- the snaps afterwards and cringes.

I've also got lousy knees. Nothing terribly odd about 'em, they just don't like to bend all that much. Used to be I couldn't kneel for more than a minute or two, but I actually spend so much time getting onto or off of my knees at work (put those thoughts away, you dirty dirty people! ) that they've gotten better. I actually enjoy kneeling for short periods now, but still not for long.

The sad thing is that my knees tends to make girl-on-top position more painful than it's worth.

I have mild asthma, nothing serious. Mostly only flares up when I have a cold.

The biggest thing I think that anyone would have to deal with is a variable case of social anxiety disorder. People scare me. Some days are better than others; on those days I can initiate interaction with strangers if necessary. On other days, I will hover around a shop until a salesperson asks if they can help me. I am too nervous to approach them first. Working in a mall has helped me with this much, at least, but there are bad days.

One time I made someone else order for me in a restaurant because I felt the waitress was staring at me funny and I couldn't even bring myself to look at her, much less talk to her.

All in all, I could be a huge ton worse.

 

[malinborn]

Hey I remember that!

Limits.... limits... guess the depends on day to day... being ripe and old (please note I am kidding about that) I have a few physical issues... I have bursitis in my right knee which would tend to make kneeling difficult for long periods of time though i have done it at work when i get too tired of sitting in that damned chair

the other limits that honestly come to mind.. and please pardon me if i am missing the point of this topic would be a limitation in my mind dealing with pain in my hands and feet. i am an artist of sorts and the very thought of hurting my hands terrifies me... growing up i was interested in and learning to play bass guitar which i had to give up because i broke my right hand twice... between that break and a mild case of carple tunel<sp?> i am very familiar with pain there and that somehow has moved to my feet as well... but at the same time, that could make for very unique mental torture in the threat of hurting both places..

anyway... just my .02

 

[Netzach]

My medications have actually limited and affected my play more than my Crohn's has (insert brown shower jokes here) happily I'm off everything at the moment but an immune suppressant. This makes me much more leery of anything that involves ingesting my pee because I don't like to share my meds, and I don't do anything that casually exposes me to other people's germs more readily than just being in close contact.

I don't do assplay or enemas or piercing with casual partners any longer, which is kind of a bummer, but being liable to catch every little bug that comes my way, I'm much more cost/benefit aware than I used to be with contacts I'm less invested in.

M has TMJ too - wonder if it rides on the sub gene.

My slave has chronic ongoing lifelong depression and he's one of those people for whom anti-depressants don't just work, they are a lifeline. While there are mental issues and familial issues there, there is a strong and obvious chemical component addressed by meds.

A couple of missed remeron doses are often the only difference between a can-do guy and an insufferable woe is me little bitch.

Lest that sound dismissive, I've had episodic but significant depression myself which responded well to medications with therapy, so I am aware how real and profound and debilitating this can be.

I've learned very quickly to chalk almost all issues up to this fact and I've made it a point of being very good at identifying where his emotional outbursts come from when they do happen - it's just there, as much as my other play partner's prosthetic hip or my other bottom's many old sites of athletic injuries.

 

[Etoile]

What happened to some of these posters??

An excellent question. Certainly people come and go, but I do wonder what happened to some of these names. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/pillarcandle.gif

 

[Rebellious_Sub]

Wow, this is a very worthwhile thread.. and I'm glad to have read through it. I myself have artheritis, and it does effect some positions, and binding. Painful and stiff afterwards, but I still allow for those positions if that is what Master really wishes, although he is usually very careful with me in that regard.

That, however is not the biggest issue for me, as far as BDSM is concerned. I suffer from PTSD, which is triggered by certain sexual situations.. I was sexually abused as a child, from ages 4 thru 9.. and was raped as an adult. I have a safe word, which I have had to use only twice, because I let my partners know exactly what will set me off... I used to fear my own BDSM kink, because I was thinking how that might be an issue, but you know, if you have a partner whom you trust, anything is possible to work through.

 

[Bandit58]

I am lucky, I am 47 and in pretty good shape. Master Gil is the one with the health problems, it's a pretty long list:

Diabetes - blood sugar levels are all over the place sometimes, it's what is known as "brittle" diabetes

Kidney failure - He is on haemodialysis 3 mornings a week

Arthritis from neck to feet including rotator cuff syndrome in both shoulders, bad knees, plus neck and back pain. In fact He is in pain 24/7 He is just good at hiding it

Tummy problems including hiatus hernia - He suffers from nausea and sometimes diarrhoea for no reason we can see.....part of the kidney disease we suspect.

Insomnia - that is chronic and ongoing. Total exhaustion rules sometimes

Ooookay, despite all that, we have a great life together. It revolves around how He is feeling from day to day. Sometimes we have to cancel plans because He just feels too ill and exhausted to do much of anything. But those times are when we kiss and cuddle and touch and do all the things to keep the intimacy alive. Sometimes we will go and lie down during the day together and just cuddle, often we will fall asleep for a while (which is good for Him, He needs the rest).

Other times, when He's feeling good, that is when we will get out the toys and play around We have adapted positions to take account of His back and neck. Him on top is out it's too uncomfortable, but me on top, spooning, and doggy where I kneel on the bed and He stands on the floor works well. For oral we lie on our sides facing each other it is easiest for His back and He can still cut me with the crop and grab my hair *bliss* Necessity is the mother of invention!

 

[coy_one]

I have a herniated disc at L5, which is in severe degeneration - no fluid is left in it. It's the last disc above my tailbone, and is hanging out in the nerve canal. I have been doing yoga to help with the pain - I know how to basically releive the pain myself, but it wears on me after awhile. I am currently sitting here now with an icepack on the area to help with the nerve pain.

TMJ has been mentioned several times - I was curious if others knew of the exercises they can do to help with this condition? I have/had it as well - though I exercise the joints, and massage them when I am feeling the stiffness.
http://www.stevedds.com/jaw_exercises.htm

 

[John Doe]

You mean like, being crippled or something?