catsr2wild said:I've been around baby and its good to see you back...everything is good I hope....ready to take on the Lit ladies again?
ran57gr said:Ohhh, this is great!! Thanks, Cats
How about some kid humor?
Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you know the
Bible, even a little, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a Catholic
elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments.
The following statements about the Bible were written by children.
They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e. incorrect spelling has been left in).
1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating
the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was
called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to
in pears.
3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had
trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
like Delilah.
6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
7. Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
9. The first commandment was when Eve told adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led
the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son
to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought
with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical
times.
14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang
the Magna Carta.
16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found
Jesus in the manager.
17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others
before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by
sweat alone.
20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get
the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is;
another name for marriage.
25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
.
BigDonGStone said:
george55 said:Morning Cats! The pumpkin got a taste of the dew this fall day...how goes it?
catsr2wild said:Baby I got a feeling you can handle all your favorite Lit ladies with 1 hand tied behind your back....hey, that could be fun....
george55 said:*blushing* ah shucks, twern't nothin' ma'am..........
BigDonGStone said:From here it only takes one hand. LOL
catsr2wild said:It must mean old man winter is just around the corner....I love the smells of fall though, it just goes too quick....
Erotica_Writings said:*Searching the house high and low for Halloween candy*.
I know. Just funnin' with you. (But wait til I'm up to being serious. Sheesh!!! )catsr2wild said:
george55 said:
BigDonGStone said:
catsr2wild said:Up!?!?!?! Can't wait...
BigDonGStone said:By the way. LOVE the Av. (The Av that lauched a thousand fantasies)
george55 said:
george55 said:and I'm supposd to believe you won't.....hardly!
george55 said:FRIENDSHIP or perversity; take your pic........
catsr2wild said:Hmmmmmmmm...decisions, decisions.....can I have both? I am rather spoiled....I'm heading back to bed for a couple more hours babe....care to join me?
