Possible use cases for second person POV?

[MK_Whimsy]

I've been reading some of the posts on here regarding second person POV (and the hate for it), and it got me thinking. Could second person work well if:

• Your target audience is someone with a specific fantasy, and your goal is to immerse them in it
• You primarily focus on describing the situation and setting they are in, while only minimally describing their actions/feelings
• You are writing something short and sweet, i.e. flash fiction

As an example, say you are writing for someone who has a caging/confinement fantasy. So you describe the cage, what's in the cage, the point of view from inside the cage, and maybe provide a little bit of story for a backdrop. You don't spend too much time describing how your reader is feeling necessarily--that part is up to them. There is not much plot to speak of, it's mostly just heavily descriptive of a single situation or moment in time.

How is second person POV in a case like this? Alternately, how would you go about it instead?

 

[TheLobster]

Dr. @StillStunned, you are needed in Ward 2P!

 

[MK_Whimsy]

Dr. @StillStunned, you are needed in Ward 2P!

"You had no idea there was such a ward, but it filled you with unease"

 

[YmaOHyd]

How is second person POV in a case like this? Alternately, how would you go about it instead?

Short and sweet, absolutely.

I basically think second-person is valuable for choose-your-own-adventure and for horror, and that's it. A caging fantasy could potentially fit into that.

 

[StillStunned]

Have I become the senior statesman of 2P? How did that happen? I used to be normal!

I've been reading some of the posts on here regarding second person POV (and the hate for it), and it got me thinking. Could second person work well if:

• Your target audience is someone with a specific fantasy, and your goal is to immerse them in it
• You primarily focus on describing the situation and setting they are in, while only minimally describing their actions/feelings
• You are writing something short and sweet, i.e. flash fiction

I suspect you've seen at least a few of my posts on the subject. Particularly about keeping the focus external.

That said, I don't think 2P is a particularly immersive POV. There's too much risk of annoying the reader.

How is second person POV in a case like this? Alternately, how would you go about it instead?

I think 1P is the more immersive POV, because you can go into the narrator's thoughts and feelings in a way that would cause readers to nope out with 2P.

On the other hand, as @YmaOHyd notes, it might work if you can somehow tap into the horror (or horror-adjacent) aspect. But it would be tricky.

That's not to say you shouldn't try it, of course. But don't be afraid to give up if you recognise that it's not doing what you want it to.

 

[old_prof]

I used to be normal!

Can we limit ourselves to the facts, sir

 

[Britva415]

I encountered something recently which I hadn't thought about in years, but with the wisdom of perspective I now recognize it as a masterpiece of 2p narration.

 

[StillStunned]

I encountered something recently which I hadn't thought about in years, but with the wisdom of perspective I now recognize it as a masterpiece of 2p narration.

Quite a few songs are written in 2P. My own story "Into The Night" is in 2P because the Springsteen song "Night" is in 2P: "You get up every morning to the sound of the bell/You get to work late and the boss man's giving you hell..."

 

[ADirtyPerv]

I encountered something recently which I hadn't thought about in years, but with the wisdom of perspective I now recognize it as a masterpiece of 2p narration.

I see your Beastie Boys, and raise you a Shia Labeouf.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Your target audience is someone with a specific fantasy, and your goal is to immerse them in it

Case in point:

https://www.literotica.com/s/on-my-knees-a-fantasy

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I guess my Pranked is a sort of hybrid. It's mostly 1P, with my heroine describing what happened to her, but the framing story is her talking directly to an in-story audience in present tense 2P.

--Annie

 

[Britva415]

Could second person work well if:

• Your target audience is someone with a specific fantasy, and your goal is to immerse them in it

Maybe if it's a bespoke piece for someone you know, and are already intimate with.

• You primarily focus on describing the situation and setting they are in, while only minimally describing their actions/feelings

You don't need 2p if you want to do this.

• You are writing something short and sweet, i.e. flash fiction

Again, it isn't clear to me why 2p is being singled out for this scenario. It's a use case for conventional voicing.

One example of what I'd call a "use case" for 2p is something I have thought about but have never seen written, and will probably never write myself: When I think about a story which could work with no "I" in it and a 2p grammatical voice, my mind goes to a story told in imperatives. For example:

say you are writing for someone who has a caging/confinement fantasy. So you describe the cage, what's in the cage, the point of view from inside the cage

Nah! You tell them to get in the cage. You command them to stay in the cage. You inform them why they're in the cage. You order them to clean their cage. You tell them how they can earn their way out of the cage. See? Mostly imperatives, and a few declaratives which, in this context, can also be addressed to "you." Within all of these statements, the author can have the narrator give information about the cage's description and environment and contents. One can also leave space for the reader to fill in the blanks theirself. Sometimes "immersion" is about not imposing too much detail upon the reader.

Just an idea.

Another example of what I'd call a "use case" for 2p is recording someone's internal dialogue, which I would argue is how @StillStunned's story You Know You Shouldn't is framed. I think that it's really a 1p story, voiced differently as an idiosyncrasy of (take your pick) the writing or of the character's own way of thinking.

Another "use case" for 2p is a story which is framed as a reminiscence, such that two people who shared some experience in the past are talking about it in the present, with one of them narrating to the other what they ("you") had done. To me this avoids the "powergamey" and "choose your adventure - except you can't choose" feeling which so many 2p stories have.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

NOOOOOOOO!!! Not 2P!!!

Mods, can we block this thread, please? Im begging you, before it infects more writers.

Somebody start talking about getting rejected by AI, or complaining about publishing delays, or asking if someone wants to write a story you have an idea for.
Anything but 2P…

 

[YmaOHyd]

You don't need 2p if you want to do this.

Again, it isn't clear to me why 2p is being singled out for this scenario. It's a use case for conventional voicing.

Less a case of 'you need 2P to do this' and more a case of 'using 2P here won't make it worse.'

Another example of what I'd call a "use case" for 2p is recording someone's internal dialogue, which I would argue is how @StillStunned's story You Know You Shouldn't is framed. I think that it's really a 1p story, voiced differently as an idiosyncrasy of (take your pick) the writing or of the character's own way of thinking.

See, I think You Know You Shouldn't is a perfect structure for a 2P story let down by Lit categories. The reader should feel revulsion and horror as something gross happens to them that they can't control; their body acting on its own to do something sexually squicky. The issue is that because it's an incest story the readership is nodding along like yes! grab her titties!. Put it in Erotic Horror and is makes more sense.

 

[Britva415]

NOOOOOOOO!!! Not 2P!!!

Mods, can we block this thread, please? Im begging you, before it infects more writers.

Somebody start talking about getting rejected by AI, or complaining about publishing delays, or asking if someone wants to write a story you have an idea for.
Anything but 2P…

It is weird how often it seems to come up.

To change the subject, it's also weird how the whole "if I had a nickel..." cliché has been completely replaced with "I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice." I don't know what that's from but there's people going around now who don't even have any awareness of the original "I'd be rich" version.

 

[Britva415]

Even more off topic, that reminds me of how the Inglourious Basterds finger-counting-to-three thing turned Americans into posers. Before that movie, nobody in the USA used their thumb for that. Ever since that movie, everyone has switched from holding up three fingers to using two fingers and a thumb, as if they had been doing it all along.

Nickels - same kinda thing

 

[Britva415]

Less a case of 'you need 2P to do this' and more a case of 'using 2P here won't make it worse.'

Oh, you think it won't, do ya?

 

[YmaOHyd]

Oh, you think it won't, do ya?

Oh, to be clear, I think writers ought to have to pass a test to be allowed use second person. The test is only one question, which is "should I use second person?", and if they answer yes they're not allowed.

 

[SimonDoom]

Somebody start talking about getting rejected by AI, or complaining about publishing delays, or asking if someone wants to write a story you have an idea for.
Anything but 2P…

The under-18 rule. The "noncon but she loves it" rule. Which Star Wars sequel or prequel sucks the most. Dogs and cats living together.

Anything, just not . . . Second person.

 

[YmaOHyd]

Which Star Wars sequel or prequel sucks the most.

All of them.

 

[SimonDoom]

You are narrating a story, and suddenly the "I"'s disappear and are replaced by "you's." You realize with dread that your story has been hijacked by second person POV. Some nefarious narrator, probably AI, has hacked your brain and altered the natural narrative style of your story, and you are helpless and at their mercy. They're making your brain and body do things you are sure you wouldn't choose to do if left to your own first-person devices. It's invasive and unnatural. You reach for your whiskey, and you find it's been taken away from you. "They" took it. And you realize, hope draining away, that you are screwed.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Short and sweet, absolutely.

I basically think second-person is valuable for choose-your-own-adventure and for horror, and that's it. A caging fantasy could potentially fit into that.

I absolutely flashed back to my childhood and choose-your-own adventures.

The main risk with second person is that you're asking the reader to put themselves in someone else's shoes, but if they don't fit the characteristics of that person it's jarring in a way first person isn't.

First person is like being plugged into someone's head. Second person is like being forced to wear the person like a suit, and if it's not a perfect fit the whole things rips or collapses.

And I had to go check if one of my WIP was in first or second person. I think I originally slated for second person, two stories using a single template, one male, one female. Scared myself for a moment, but it looks like I changed it to first person. Phew.

...now I kinda want to try second person just to see what happens.

 

[MK_Whimsy]

Maybe second person isn't such a good idea after all. Instead, maybe we'll write using the royal we.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

Maybe second person isn't such a good idea after all. Instead, maybe we'll write using the royal we.

"We inserted our penis into her dripping flower, and the moans she produced were quite heavenly to our ears."

The royal "we" naturally brings out the foppish noble in me. I don't like it.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Maybe second person isn't such a good idea after all. Instead, maybe we'll write using the royal we.

Or both…

We note with interest, our dear @StillStunned, the pensive look on your face, the furrow of your brow, as you tap your pencil on the tablet before you, the blank page calling to you as you consider the challenge. Second person with the Royal We, dare I?

We smile as your mind spins with ideas as the graphite tears at the blank page before you and words slowly take form. A devious chuckle escapes your lips as your missive slowly comes to life, as your muse sings the song you know so well.

We feel your sadistic joy as the page fills, laughing as you relish the pain soon to be unleashed on those unfortunate enough to read your tale of woe.

Laughing maniacally, you add the last period to your putrid tome, knowing they won’t be able to resist.

Satisfied that our work is done, that the evil has been spread, we cackle silently in the nether reaches of your soul. Yes, only you are truly capable of the depravity that is second person.
Well done, our herald, relish your accomplishment. You know you want to.