I'm happy to chat here if you are. Info that others might find useful
What are you curious about?
Ok, this is where I would usually ask "Do you want the short, medium or long answer"
That's all great stuff. We've got a couple of bloggers and paddles at home, and a proper horse riding crop, but the range at the dungeon was mind boggling. We're going again so it's great to have some experienced adviceOk, this is where I would usually ask "Do you want the short, medium or long answer"
Floggers and canes and paddles and crops are toys used for impact play. So they are not used to restrain your partner ( like rope, cuffs, belts, spreader bars, etc. are), and they are not used to sexually stimulate your partner (like dildos, vibrators, etc.) unless they are a true masochist (a masochist is turned on by being hurt).
So what is the point of impact play? Why should I spank or flog or whip or cane my partner?
Two reasons in my mind.
The first is that impact play is an expression of submission. Your submissive may not enjoy it directly, that is to say being flogged may not make your wife wet, but she may well enjoy the fact that she is letting you do it to her because you enjoy it. Because it turns you on. And in pleasing you, in doing something difficult or unpleasant for you (or allowing you to do it to her), she finds joy. This, by the way, is the sign of a true submissive - they find pleasure in pleasing their partner.
The second is that impact play is an expression of Dominance. Holding your wife down over your knee and spanking her with your bare hand will make you feel powerful, and make her feel submissive. Impact play reinforces the power dynamic between you, which can be very, well, powerful
Ok, so how to do I use these toys?
Well in some sense that is a long conversation. There are lots of videos on the usual sites that will show you the mechanics. But the whole point is to cause a certain amount of pain or discomfort to your submissive - and how much you cause is determined in part by the toy that you select to use, and in part by the way that you use it.
So floggers. A flogger is any impact play toy with a handle and multiple "tails" (the tails are the thin whippy parts that you actually hit the person with). Floggers are not paddles (which are hard throughout) or canes (which are hard throughout and thin and round) or whips (which generally have only one tail). Tails are also called tresses or falls by some.
You use a flogger by hitting any exposed skin with the tails (you can flog someone through clothing, but I have never understood the point). The most common places to flog your submissive are on their back or ass. But I personally am a huge fan of the inside of the thighs, which are very sensitive and also bring the psychological impact of the possibility of shifting target to the genitals
I always recommend trying new toys or techniques on yourself first. You can easily flog the tops of your own thighs - so try that. See how it feels.
The feeling will depend mostly on three things.
1) The size and material of the tails. Rubber stings. Thin leather has no weight, and feels like nothing most of the time. Heavy thick wide leather tails bring a real sense of impact and thud. Generally the longer and heavier the tails, the more momentum and thus the more impact. But I have a flogger that is about a foot long in total, with 8" or so round thin rubber tails that is ideal for pussy whipping.
2) The technique that you use when you hit your submissive with it. The harder that you swing and the more that you snap your wrist and thus snap the tails, the harder you will hit and the more it will hurt. Hitting someone with the middle (flat) part of the tails hits more surface area and thus hurts less. Really snapping your wrist and allowing only the tips of the tails to hit flesh can limit the surface area and maximize the speed of the tails, and hurt more.
3) Where you hit your submissive. The nerves in our body are not uniformly distributed, as we know well. The back is much less sensitive than the chest usually. The pussy much more sensitive than the tops of the thighs. So pick your target to suit what you want your submissive to feel.
I am not going to talk about canes. They are a very intense toy best used by experienced kinksters. You can try them on yourself to get a feeling for how they feel - but generally canes are very painful and can leave significant and deep bruises. Avoid them for now.
Crops and paddles are good to explore now though, in addition to floggers...
Fire away with any questions, happy to continue the discussion or just to shut up if I am being too verbose.
UK also
Where did you go?
I'm in the UK. There are quite a few. Some are hire by thr hour, there are also overnighters on Airbnb. The one we've used is primarily for professionals to work out of, but they allow private rental
I have heard of the czech place, I forget its name (prob could do a web search), it is something like "the kingdom" or some such, and is supposed to be an immersive experience , where a sub male for example pays to go there and spends a week or some such as a slave there, or where a couple can go and the dominant and sub are in that space the whole time, could involve house people or not, etc.....but I never figured out if it really exists or still exists.
I like the idea of paying someone experienced to join and educate us. The dungeon we've used has be under the same ownership for 20 years, so that's an ideal place to start looking.
