Professional women that secretly like to be dominated

[KuriousKatUK]

There is freedom in relinquishing control

It sounds stupid but there really is! I couldn't have put it better myself

 

[DVS]

I posted here before but deleted my message, due to putting too much pi in the post.

This is me, I'm too ashamed to admit or do anything about it in real life though.

I am well educated and a senior HR manager in a bank, I struggle with this side of me and nobody in reality would ever guess, at work I'm so self assured and business orientated.

No need to be ashamed at all. You just need to find yourself a partner you trust that you can share this part of you. Of course, any of those you relate to during your day job don't need to know anything about this. I'm sure this is part of your reason for feeling ashamed.

This is two individual parts of your personality. Actually, one is treating you with a way to handle stress you experience in the other. It's a very common thing to happen, with people who have high stress jobs, controlling personalities, where you need to be strict or have everyone's respect.

You'll see this in many corporate types, where they are in charge of large companies and then their sexual lives are 180 degrees to that part of them. This is your subconscious self giving you an avenue to counter and relieve any stress or other parts of your busy day. Being in charge during the day is countered by your subconscious desire to let someone else take charge and just be submissive to their sexual whims.

These desires can be small and they can change as your day job stress level changes. If you can accept this subconscious desire and let it come out in some private way with a partner, you might be surprised how your day job benefits from it.

As for feeling ashamed, that's also a submissive trait. If you can accept that and let it come out with a trusted partner, it could beneficial too, but I understand that some feelings are difficult to understand and accept. Your personality has been one of control and that's worked for you. Now, you're experiencing a totally different feeling and it can be difficult to understand, let alone accept.

Just know that you are far from alone in how you feel. You are not unique. The human mind is very intricate and many people have these feelings but they aren't in tune with their feelings enough to understand. You should feel good that you are not only aware of these feelings, but also understand them. Some people aren't able to get in touch with there inner feelings.

Another thing...this might not be what you're experiencing, but many people find out about inner sexual feelings later in life. A lot of people have had straight missionary position sexual relations and as the years add up, those satisfactions can become less satisfying and even sometimes damage a relationship, leading to divorce.

But, some couples do prefer to seek out other ways of sexual satisfaction, instead of divorce. Sometimes, it's only one partner who starts feeling differently about sex, and the other partner doesn't. One could be interested in experimenting with sex, and their partner might not be willing to do so. This can also lead to a troubled relationship and eventual divorce.

If both partners are willing to seek out different ways of sexual satisfaction, whatever they may be, it can lead to a new resurgence in the couple's connection and even spark new bonds between the two of them.

It's been often said that the human brain is the largest sexual organ of the body and that's very true. Explore within yourself and understand what feelings are coming out and you might find a whole new part of life that you had no idea was even there. Go at your own pace, with a partner you trust, or just within yourself, while you are looking for a partner you trust.

The more you understand your own inner feelings, the better you are going to be at explaining things to a partner. You will also be better at understanding your partner's new feelings, too.

Don't read about different labels like top, bottom, submissive, dominant, switch, master, slave and any of the other typical labels that come with BDSM sexual desires and assume you have to fit into one of those labels. Those are just a way to start. You might find you are mostly submissive, but some of the traits that the submissive label lists might not be for you. That's perfectly fine. You might also find that you feel like going deeper than just a submissive, depending on a particular partner you are with. That's fine, too.

You need to experiment and find out what you find most enjoyable for yourself. Some like bondage, spanking, rough sex, spending a full weekend as someone's sexual toy, or you might just want to relax and let someone else decide things, where maybe you took charge and decided on one sexual position or were even against one position.

The trick is to start with one label, then eventually merge into your own label. You could still say you are submissive, but you will set limits to what you are OK with and what you are NEVER going to be OK with. Those are soft and hard limits that a partner will have to accept and adhere with. If not, you can't trust that partner.

You are in charge of your desires. I know that seems strange, if you are leaning towards being a submissive, but ultimately once you set up your soft and hard limits, you then give yourself to your partner to take charge.

Communication with your partner is key, also. You always have the safe word system you set up, just in case things get out of hand, too. Most people use the stop light system, with red meaning STOP NOW, yellow meaning OK, but maybe slow down and green meaning I'm OK with what is happening now...please continue.

Any time during a sexual scene you participate in, your partner should ask how you are doing with what's going on. To limit taking away from the scene and what you may be feeling at the time, that safe word system is just a quick way to communicate with your partner.

Like I said above, if you were to ever say RED, and your partner doesn't stop what is going on IMMEDIATELY, that should bring up a red flag for you. Trust is a very large part of any relationship, but even more so, in a BDSM relationship. If you can't trust someone to worry about your safety, that's not a good person to be with. Make sure they understand about trust.

Lastly, just have fun exploring your inner desires. Read stories, watch videos, take mental notes of what you like and don't like or what you might want to maybe try down the road a bit. Take your time. There's no rush. Once you feel OK with moving forward, even then take it slow. A bad experience can be a stain on future desires, so try not to get too carried away and go too fast.

 

[wallstreetguy]

Corporate women.

I have been in this world my whole career. There are many women in high powered positions who - like men - feel they have "impostor syndrome." They feel as though they really do not belong. Many men have this but can hide it, perhaps, better. They might want to be dominated. Not sure. Most are very normal.
I have had two or three high ranking women make passes over the years. All older than me at the time.
Each time, I pretended to not get what she was saying. Never came up again.
Most high ranking women execs are perfectionists. They had moments of weakness and I chose not to take advantage.
Also had a very high ranking female politician send her aide to tell me how impressed she was with me after a talk. I was too overwhelmed to do anything and she seemed wistful as she left the room. It only hit me later.
Only one of these women was super hot. I thought of her a lot after that...
I dreamed of how I would have dominated each because I could not see myself in an equal relationship with them. There had to be a dominant person and that would have had to be me.

 

[Beachaged]

I definitely fall into this category. Professional, educated woman. I’m a bit of a control freak-perfectionist at work. That’s why I’ve been interested in submission as a way to release control in the bedroom. It’s important to be balanced.

I think there are many women who feel this way. You are far from alone.

 

[Son1]

I wonder if my conservative Christian Mom, Maureen, is like this. She is a substitute teacher in our public school district

 

[DVS]

I wonder if my conservative Christian Mom, Maureen, is like this. She is a substitute teacher in our public school district

It depends. This thread is mainly people who have high stress jobs, in the day, then want to submit in their sexual lives. And the reason many of them have this kind of double personality is because their subconscious mind sees the stress they deal with during the day and to balance that out, they seem interested in relieving that stress by being submissive in their sexual lives. Not everybody is like that, but a fair amount of executive types are.

Your mother could be one of these, if the stress of her life is high. And she doesn't have to be an executive, but the stress still has to be high, for her subconscious mind to counter with this sort of mind swap.